


Stay With Me

by tashawrites



Series: Super Natural Fic Series : Youngjae's. [1]
Category: GOT7, K-pop
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vampire, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-25
Updated: 2017-04-05
Packaged: 2018-10-10 11:14:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 21
Words: 134,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10436433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tashawrites/pseuds/tashawrites
Summary: Months after their sinful first night, student, Youngjae and priest Jinyoung are reunited.  However things are different, Youngjae won't  slip easily back to his ex lover, he promises himself not to slip back but will he manage it.The church is the least complicated thing about Jinyoung, he has a troubled past he is burying down and hoping to forget. Meanwhile Jinyoung must find and save a young runaway as well as help stop the reign of an evil and mysterious criminal running around Seoul and causing havoc.





	1. Need

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Youngjae meets the attractive priest Jinyoung, and finds himself seduced.

Youngjae's POV

Sometimes I wish I was a shitty son. I wish I was the kind of son who couldn't be guilted or mentally strong armed into things. However it seemed I was just as weak willed as ever, unlike my older siblings I hadn't figured out how to tell my parents no. They had been able to do it, say no or ignore my parents and that became easy especially when moving out of the family home.  
Even though I had also made the move from my family and was living independently and attending college all on my own dime. I still seemed unable to say no or let my parents down, I was the youngest child of four. I was the one they shielded, I was one my mother held closest to her bossom. I had always been known as the favourite amongst my siblings, the baby that was treated like a prince.

However it always felt like I had been the one cursed, I was the child who was not allowed to mess up. I was meant to be my parent's last hope, no teenage parenting, no criminal activities or offences. I wasn't lazy and jobless, no I was the boy wonder who was now in Seoul in University studying accountings. My future was set and it was all thanks to my parents, their hard work to set me up with the best school and the best tutors, I was indebted to them. So here I was, the sulky ungrateful and quite frankly bitter youngest child of the Chois.

Using a rare day off from my part time job that felt like a full time, and preparing for my second year, here I was. Pressured by my some what over bearing mother, I go to the St. Peter's Roman Catholic Church. Its a small homely look church with about four aisles of benches, the alter is not large and flashy but instead modest looking. The decor is of course centred on the lord, with different icons of Catholicism spread across. Its much like the church I was forced to attend in my youth, its a warm and some what inviting church The sunlight happening to shine in as if a higher power were looking in or briefly visiting its home .

Even with that I feel uncomfortable, I had always felt uncomfortable within the space of the lords place of worship. Maybe it was guilt, the guilt that past a certain age I had lost interest in visiting and was still attending like it was a mandatory service. I sat through the dull hour long services, bored out of my skull as whatever old fart read of a priest read out loud to the congregation. I would sometimes have his sermons memorized enough to be able to daydream, and if snapped out I could easily catch back up. I was never a true believer, just reading the bible was a struggle for me. It reads like a fantasy novel full of contradictions and old fashioned life morals.Love thy neighbours, be good to them and treat them as you would like to be treated unless they are adulterers, sluts or lay with other men.

I found the contradictions too frustrating, I couldn't base my life off of hearsay from thousands of years ago. It held no bearing in my life and I wouldn't allow my life to be based off of ancient teachings. Society has changed, humanity has changed. Trying to hold us to old concepts like that, I felt uncomfortable with that. I felt like this and as soon as I was old enough I separated myself from the church, I feigned work as an excuse and it worked most of the time. However my parents had finally wore me down, I had to return to the community, I had to do it them. They had not raised me to be a selfish person.

Well in actuality it would be a lie to say that this visit was completely due to pressure from my parents,no that was a minute and annoying part. The other part was a more selfish part, I had tried to push blame towards my parents guilt trip but I was here for the experience. Not the religious experience, but simply for work. I wanted to be ready and set when graduating, I didn't just want to rely on my education I needed experience with finances. This wasn't exactly the stock market, but it was a good start. I would be spending the day looking over the church's backed up finances. It involves mostly helping them look over what they are making from their crowd of god loving zombies, to what they might owe.

Depending on the state of their books, i could be here for most of the afternoon and be done for the day. I suspect I might have to come back a couple of times and do it again.It would look good on my resume and send me on my way sooner, it would serve a purpose. So as much as I didn't want to be here,I would put on my big boy pants and get over it. I am lead through the church by a brother of the church, he had set it up through my mother for me to work there. Brother Kim Dae Won is scruffy looking guy in his mid thirties, he grew up in the same neighbourhood as I. He was a friendly and cheerfully guy, but he was uncomfortable to be around as he questioned my lack of visits to church.

I can't tell him the truth, that I resent and am repulsed by this place. So instead I laugh it off and bluff a really busy schedule. It wasn't a complete lie, however if I had the desire I would have made time. Dae Won doesn't seem to buy my excuse but lets me off into the back towards the priests house, I had never been this far behind the scenes nor had I ever wanted to. Unlike the front of the church it was cold, it wasn't what I expected.

The house attached is a small bungalow home with one large room that functioned as a living room, dinning room and kitchen area. There were three other doors including the entrance we entered in, and two doors to rooms I assumed were the bedroom and Bathroom. The house was full of grey and white decor, the place felt devoid of any kind of warmth. Its furniture looked simple and plainly for function, the only art was related to Catholicism . So in conclusion it was most definitely boring as hell or heck, I should watch my mouth around these people. I didn't need it getting back to the Chois that their son has the mouth of a sailor.

I make sure to be on my best behaviour, and hopefully the day would pass by quickly for me. It was already 1pm so with most of the day done, it shouldn't be hard to pass by more time. Once I'm lead into the house Daewon instructs me to make myself comfortable at the sitting area, there are two old worn down beige comfortable looking sofas. In front of them is a solid wooden coffee table, on top of it is a a large box of what I assume is my work for the day.

It looks like a lot more work than I was expecting, I am surely gonna be here longer than expected. I try not to show any cracks in my expression, no I am not disappointed with more work, this is what I need and want. Daewon instructs me to help myself to any food or drink from the fridge whilst I'm here, he excuses himself for the day. He tells me that the priest Mr Park who lives here will be back shortly, "he works out of the church a lot" the expression on face full of disapproval.

"He's young so he doesn't like sitting indoors for too long, he goes wherever the word of christ needs to be spread so its hard to tell when he'll be back exactly", he rushes to explain as if he was aware he had been caught disapproving of a colleague. It was admittedly fun to watch him back track a little, another bit of proof of the hypocrisies that lay within the church. We want to entice the young people to our religion and get them to commit but only under our strict guidelines.

Again I keep all my criticisms to myself, I was doing well managing my sometimes faulty filter.Eventually he's gone, and I am left alone to sift through the church's troublesome finances. I file through and separate the money donated to the church through checks and the debts that said church has incurred. I spend time writing it all down and keeping track, as far as this place is concerned they lack order. Its not really hard but it's a long and tedious process that will take up most of if not all of this afternoon.

I don't know how long i'm engrossed in my work for but when my neck suddenly gets a sore crook, I decide to take a small break only to be greeted by a dark sky showing through the windows. I notice that the house had been lit up even at 1 pm in the morning, but now at 6pm it was dark outside. I had only the room lights to aid me when looking around the house. It's still dull and boring but it's certain more quiet and creepy as hell-heck. In the kitchen area is a is a basic, stove/oven,fridge sink and a few cupboards. It was much like the other rooms plainly functional, and looked as if it were hardly used.

That is confirmed when looking into the fridge I find nothing but water, home made kimchi in a large tuperwear box, bread and ketchup. It was a sad sight to see as my stomach growls loudly and full of anger. I had hoped to at least be done by now so I could head out and meet up with Yien hyung, I remember that I have to call him and explain that I won't be there for drinks tonight. I probably would have cancelled anyway, Yien may seem like a wall flower most but that was just a cover up for his wild perverse activities.

I wasn't in the mood but I knew he would bug me if I didn't have a valid excuse for ditching. I make my call to Yien still staring into the fridge hoping that will somehow magic up some food, unfortunately that is not the case. Yien doesn't quite believe my excuse and sounds a little surly when speaking,however I know his favourite coffee and doughnuts and listening to his night of debauchery will mollify him tomorrow. Once I finish my call I settle on getting some water, if I fill up on it I could bluff away my hunger for a while.

" Not many choices huh?", a deep and unfamiliar suddenly breaks through the silence startling. I turn to see stood in the entrance doorway an unknown man,well unknown to me. However judging by his attire which was all black accented with a dog collar, this was the church's priest Mr Park .

I stand in silence stunned at the being in front of me, I know Daewon had said that the priest was young, but I assumed he meant late thirties at the very least . I had been used to the church's old foggies, the youngest church affiliated official I had come into contact were usually balding men in their late fifties. However this guy looked barely older than me, he had to be in his early to mid twenties. What the hell-heck is this about, how could someone this young subject themselves to a dull, mundane, strict lifestyle, celibate life.

I make sure to not let that thinking slip my filter. Park Jinyoung is gorgeous. His lips are the first thing that flash out to me, they are bright pink and have a soft plumpness to them. As he approaches me greeting me and introducing himself,I feel my heart involuntarily skip a beat. "I have been busy so recently that I haven't been able to stock up, so many people to guide", he explains his food shortage with a playfully chuckle. The closer he approaches me, the better looking he seems to get.

Park Jinyoung, he could have been a model or actor,he had the looks for it. He is for the most part a handsome young man, but there's a certain beauty and grace to him that differentiates him from us mere mortals. I was left confused as to what the hell- heck was doing committing himself to this life. He surely wasn't crafted so beautifully to be put to waste spreading the word of a non existent man in the sky.

I bite the inside of my mouth to hold back the barrage of questions, I simply introduce myself politely. I stutter a little mispronouncing my name, its an embarrassing flub but he seems amused by it. My cheeks flush, my neck feels like its on fire, this is a really inappropriate feeling to have. I ignore it, well I try and ignore my inappropriate feelings and explain my progress for the day. Jinyoung quietly listens to me and nods his head as I speak, he looks over to my newly written financial books.

"WOW Youngjae-ah, you've gone above and beyond my friend" he says patting me on the back. I freeze up at his firm and encouraging touch, I stay frozen as his hand slides to and stays on my shoulder. He's certainly more tactile than the priests that I am used to, is it cause I'm young and that he's young that he feels comfortable. Either way I try not to make any sharp movements, what I do will end up reaching my family.

So I have to keep it completely professional, as I lean over to show him closely certain debts paid off. "You done so well wow, thank very much" he says patting me on the back before walking away to the kitchen area. The absence of his touch leaves me quietly and briefly disappointed, sensing that my feelings were going a little nuts I start to close up and back up my work. I've done enough for now and next month when I return I could make sure the books were completely sorted out. Just as i'm about to excuse myself for the day, Jinyoung quickly interjects.

" Stay With Me Youngjae", his words send a shiver down my spine, I watch him feeling startled. Had I misheard, had I completely lost the plot. " I'll make you dinner, as a way to say thank you and I won't take no for an answer'. Even though I try and excuse myself, he doesn't allow me, "stay and eat with me, you can't or I'll feel terrible about making you work like this". Jinyoung smiles suddenly, the wrinkles at the corner of his eyes suddenly appearing. My heart starts fluttering andI can't bring myself to decline. So I decide to stay, my legs don't allow me to. My head tells me that this isn't normal, staying behind like this with the young attractive priest.

I wasn't normally this stupid and thoughtless. Except here I was, watching him as he opens one of the wooden cupboards next to the fridge. After and minute or so bent over looking in the cupboards, I don't know what he's searching for but I take peak at his tight and firm butt. I try and snap myself out of it, this wasn't right. Even if I was lapsed in my belief in the church, checking out one of his servants felt ridiculous. I turn away and simply make conversation, the more he talks the more I can that he's not originally from Seoul. I ask where he's from and as he turns around his arm full of food I had not seen earlier, he lets out a deep chuckle.

"Wow, your ears are good, I try and hide my accent but sometimes it pops up", as he places the food down. He uncorks the bottle of wine and starts pouring us drinks. He explains that he moved here from Jinhae a few years, as he serves me a glass of wine he takes notice of my own accent. He lights up to hear that I'm from Mokpo, we take notes over the differences between the smaller places we come from. He seems impressed when I reveal that I came here to study, and in finding my age his speech becomes informal which leads me to assume that he's older than I am.

We find a lot of similarities and and laugh over how crazy Seoul seems in comparison. " I wouldn't go back now, Seoul feels like home" Jinyoung says fondly before making his way back to the kitchen area. I can't rip my eyes from him as he walks away, still in disbelief that such a handsome man exists. I sit and nurse my drink, wine isn't normally my drink but I feel so wound up. Trying not to show my discomfort I take a sip of my drink, I see now on the coffee table next to the receipts and financial work is a book. Its a large books had to be 500 pages or more and was worn, like it had been read over and over.

I picked up the book checking the summary, its a novel a story which tells of the physical and psychology horrors of the wars. It didn't seem to be a book I would expect a priest to be reading, but I don't want to throw my assumptions onto him. Reading probably served as a way to null the boredom seeing as theres is not even as much as a television or radio. When I ask about the book he confirms that he is a big book reader. Jinyoung had been moving and working, on the stove he something that was cooking on the stove.

As he cuts vegetables on the counter he explains that ever as he is an only child,he never had anyone to play with. "I found solace in books, not only can they teach but they can keep you company". I feel a pang of pity in my chest and take a look once more around to the apartment, it dawns on me how lonely he must be. No wonder he goes out for his business, this place must feel painfully cold when he's alone. 

'You seem worried, should I be flattered or take it as pity",he teases. I blush creeps on my face and feeling embarrassed I try and excuse what is painfully obvious. I give up at the sight of Jinyoung's playful grin, he's just joking. I try and settle myself and be relaxed or at least look relaxed and eventually it feels like I can. I ask something that has been nagging me. His age, I had been curious how someone young could have made such a commitment, now I finally ask him.

A grin spreads on his face and I can tell he must hear this question a lot, however I can't believe the following answer is what he tells the masses. "Parental pressure", its far too blunt and I even pause initially assume that he telling an interesting kind of joke. However with food quietly sizzling in the background, he explains himself. "My parents wanted a son that was a priest, I am a filial son so I did as I was told". What the hell, he didn't even bother sugar coating things, instead he smiles like it was no big deal. "I'm a 24 year old man and still feel the pressure of my parents", his smile doesn't crack in fact he just chuckles and keeps cooking.

I watch him cook almost without thinking I stand up and approach him, feigning interest in the food he's cooking. From what I see it looks like he's preparing spaghetti bolognese, it smells good and he looks concentrated on stirring. I watch Jinyoung in the corner of my eye, taking a peak as he taste tests the bolognese. He frowns looking uncertain,his thick eyebrows creasing in and the pout on his face sends my heart aflutter. I pinch my thigh as a silent warning for me to behave myself, I return to the food and offer some help.

He declines simply asking for me to top up both of our glasses as wine, so I do as he says. However I'm caught of guard when Jinyoung asks me to taste the food for him, using the same ladle he doesn't give me much time shoving the ladle to my lips. I lean in and taste it and can taste the spices he's added to the ordinary mince meat from the can, it delicious and I make sure to give a vocal reaction.  
A smile spreads across his beautiful face and it feels like an arrow has been shot at my chest, I feel like a love struck teen. Its embarrassing especially how hard I cheese when Jinyoung pats me on the head playfully. He smiles fondly and tells me to go and sit down in the seating area, I follow his words without any hesitation and I sit down. I try and control my heartbeat, and hope I make it out of here alive. An hour and a half later we are both sat up, my empty stomach is now full.

Now Jinyoung and I sitting talking discussing our favourite books, the wine has gotten down and we have relaxed around each other. It feels like I'm talking to a close friend and not a priest that I met a couple of hours beforehand. I get a warm and happy feeling watching him, my self control slowly fading away. Jinyoung is sat on the sofa same sofa as I, he sits facing me. It gives me a proper look at his surprisingly toned body through his tight fitting uniform, I try to stop my eyes from wandering down to where they shouldn't.

Instead I keep them at his strong and tight thighs, I wonder if he exercises in his spare time. Snap out of it Youngjae, just because you're tipsy doesn't mean you should let your guard down and do something wrong. He really is a great storyteller he is an expressive person as he tells stories of his youth, his eyes widen dramatically and he speaks faster when telling the most exciting part of the story. He has many stories of a mischievous childhood that have us both laughing somewhat close to tears, he reaches my arm and gives me a tight squeeze as he laughs. It sends tingles of pleasure through me, I have to fight the urge to not held on, cause if I do I feel like won't ever let go of him.

However I begin to become aware of the time and offer to help wash up and clear away the plates. Jinyoung insists that he will do it, however I get up quickly but the wine has me feeling light headed. I stumble back a little but suddenly Jinyoung with light speed quickness gets up and reaches for arm to stabilise me. He watches me concerned, his eyes searching mine, he suddenly smiles "are you okay?" he asks. The way he looks at me, I feel like the only person in the room with and I am. However if we had been in a crowded room it would have been the same feeling, it felt like his eyes were only for me. Like I was the only one he could see- no, this is ridiculous.

I try and snap myself out of this werid trance, I would never drink wine again. In fact I needed to get out of here before I did something that I really regret. I turn to make a run for it , but I feel arms slide round my waist to stop me. I seize up, frozen and watch Jinyoung no longer smiling, he seems serious. My heart skips a flutters more and more especially as; he reaches his free hand to move my bangs from my face, this time he keeps the eye contact. and reaches to cup my chin with his delicate and warm hands. I stay frozen in place and watch Jinyoung feeling like thoughts race through my head, why is this happening?

" How long have you known?", Jinyoung asks he doesn't elaborate and I'm not sure what he means. Before I can pull away I feel one of his arms snake around my waist pulling me close, while the other moves behind my neck pulling me close. I am internally screaming as everything happens in slow motion, I see Jinyoung tilt his head and leans in toward me and plants his lips on mine. His lips are as gentle as I had imagined, he presses his lips onto mine. Initially frozen and completely stunned, it takes me a while before my brain catches up.

Eventually I reciprocate, I press my lips back on his and return his kiss. Jinyoung separates my lips with his and I feel his tongue slip inside of my mouth. His tongue coaxes mine out and begins wrestling with mine, I feel a tingling sensation down my back. My hands slide up to his firm chest and instead making the sensible decision to push the older away, I pull him closer and kiss him back. My mind is all over the place, am I really kissing a man of the cloth like this; what the hell-heck.

Finally gaining some sense I push Jinyoung away, I'm light headed, tipsy and stupid. I quickly and profusely apologise and step away from him, however a smile creeps on Jinyoung's beautiful face making me feel even dumber. " You are very adorable Choi Youngjae", he says fondly stepping forward and closing in the space between us. "You shouldn't be doing this" I tell him my voice trembling, he chuckles in response. He approaches me and cups my face once more, he is silent and watches me fondly.  
I have needs... And I feel like I need you Youngjae", I stay frozen in shock. He shouldn't be saying or doing this, this feels like a messed up dream or something. I don't do this, I don't act this wreckless. Even though I was an awkward kid didn't mean I was short of of offers, granted I was hardly interested. However I had been approached before especially moving to Seoul apparently I had a charm, but I wasn't easy, no matter what your looks or status was I always had the presence of mind to reject them.

However with Jinyoung it felt like I was under some kind of spell, I had a lack of self control when it came to him. "Kiss me Youngjae, give me what I need" his voice seems to set a spell over me. I lean in and cup Jinyoung's face, without even thinking I press my lips on his. For a while I don't feel any reciprocation, my pride takes a hit and I start to pull away. However I feel Jinyoung's lips follow mine, his hands slide to the back of my waist pulling me close to him. I feel the heat of his body on mine and his lips pressed on mine finally returning my affections.

The kiss progresses and becomes more passionate, the heat grows and I feel his hands travel up my shirt feeling at my flesh. A shock waves through me, as the pleasure explodes through me. I reach under his shirt to do the same, I feel at his hot flesh and can almost make out the lines of abs. Suddenly I feel his hands delicately slide down to my thighs and I feel him lift me up. Even as I try and pull away from the kiss to decline he follows my lips and the kiss continues. He shows his surprising amount of strength, he carries me the heavier of the pair of us.

I feel turned on knowing his strength, my hips involuntarily buck towards him. Jinyoung carefully drops me onto the comfortable sofa and kisses me passionately his tongue wrestling with mine. We kiss like this for a few minutes, he is leant into kissing me hard and passionately. I wrap my arms around his shoulders wrap my legs around his waist and grind into him. I groan through the kiss and we keep going until he finally pulls away, we both catch our breath and I take the opportunity to watch him in between my legs. As I watch him I can't help but but wonder if this is heading where I think it is, where I wanted it desperately to go.

Jinyoung watches me briefly, I can tell there's an internal conflict going on on and I can understand it. This goes against everything he believes in, this breaks too many rules. Within seconds any look of doubt is erased from his face and he leans in to briefly peck me on the cheek before removing my shirt. I feel embarrassed as my cheeks flush, the heat travels down my neck. I feel self conscious under his glare,why is he looking at such an average person. Almost as if he were reading my thoughts Jinyoung strokes my face, "You're perfect the way you are, don't think stupid thoughts".  
I heat up, my heart flutters a little, I've never heard those words before. I watch him my heart beating out of its chest and then he leans in to plant a chaste kiss on my lips, before he begins kiss me down my neck. He leaves a flurry of kisses, I feel him lick and bite and nibble. I moan feeling pleasure, his hands slide down my chest feeling at me before resting on my lap. I feel my hips buck towards him in response, I reach and stroke through his beautiful soft and black locks.

Suddenly I jolt and spasm as I feel a sharp pain in my neck, Jinyoung clamps down and keeps biting into. I yell out taking a bit by surprised, I had never tried anything like this before. Being bitten I had never let past lovers do it, but here I was not letting him stop as he attacked my neck. His hand was on his crotch, I feel him rub and stroke through the material of my trousers. I buck my hips and feel myself get harder, my pants tighten as he works his magic on my cock.

Sweating hard I moan out and I feel myself getting hazier and wriggle by instinct, however Jinyoung holds me down his strength more than I expected. I try and push him away but he sticks on me, my breathing suddenly seems to get weaker. When suddenly he pulls away and turns away, I see his shoulders heave as if he's panting. I reach to check my neck, it feels a little tender and sore but its as expected.

I watch Jinyoung quietly worried that if I say something he might stop this, I'm too selfish and hard to do that. Jinyoung slowly turns, he watches me briefly he leans in and cups my face. "Are you hurt Youngjae?" he asks, his big brown eyes full of concern. I lean in to kiss Jinyoung to reassure him, I cup his face and pull him onto me. Jinyoung climbs onto me each leg on the other side of mine, I feel him grind into me.

The kiss sends chills down my spine, my arms slide up my shoulders. He pushes away from me and he leans his head on my shoulder, his shoulders seem to have settled down. I watch him breathing more relaxed, his hand at my crotch my mind screams for him to keep going. "I won't hurt Youngjae, I'll never hurt you" he's no longer shaking, I can feel his breath on my neck.  
Without another word Jinyoung kisses my neck and then looks up to me before kissing my lips passionately. His hands begin unzipping my trousers before slipping his hand inside of the waistband of my boxers. I feel a jolt of pleasure through my body as he touches my cock, I feel myself getting harder under his touch. He takes my length out and strokes me before pulling away from the kiss, I moan as he keeps stroking.

Jinyoung smiles looking down at my length, he spits on his his hand and uses it as a lube to keep stroking. I spasm under his touch, he leans licking his tongue darting at the head of my throbbing cock. I feel him take me down his throat, I feel him bobbing over and over. He's so good at this better than he really should, better than a man who pledged his life to celibacy.  
His technique is so good I groan sweatily feeling pleasure my hands slide through his hair as I call out his name. Jinyoung pulls away continuing to lick and stroke, I stroke through his hair and watch as he continues to pleasure me. He pulls away smirks he teases me, "I did you this favour could you do me one" he purrs. Turned on and heavily panting I watch Jinyoung unsure about what he means, he stands up and takes my hand to pull me up.

"Lets finish this off, somewhere people won't be able to interrupt us", he says with a seductive grin on his face. My heart races with excitement as he leans in to kiss me, he wraps his arms around me and pulls me back towards his bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is a story i wrote years ago on AFF, but here i am posting some more.


	2. Window

Youngjae's POV

I was normally hard to wake up, my parents always said that I could sleep through an unlucky day of earthquakes and bomb attacks. However here I was woken up as early as seven o'clock in the morning, I was wrapped up in in his arms. "Choi Youngjae wake up" Jinyoung whispers in my ear, his breath feels so warm on my neck. His sweet morning call pulls me from sleep, "wake up sweetie", I feel his hands rub up my stomach leaving light trails on my skin.

Jinyoung's embrace felt really warm, his arms snake around my waist as he kisses me awake, he leaves a flurry of kisses down my neck. "wake up for me", just like that I wake up without a struggle, its as if his kisses serve as a pull for me out of my sleep. The sweetness of his lips on my skin, they are sweeter than any dream could be.

I groan and wipe the sleep from the corner of my eye and blink adjusting to the light, as I try and sit up.I look around and see the small grey bedroom, its a uniformed room much like the rest of the house. I feel his arms snake around me pull me down,"ssssh you're with me" he gently coos. I lie back down and allow his muscular arms to envelope me once again.

I lay on a comfortable and warm king-sized bed close to a window ledge, a bed side table with an digital clock that shows the current time. At the foot of the bed is a large wooden dresser and next to it, a small wooden bookcase brimming full of many different books.

The events of last night flash through my head and leave me with a warm feeling in my stomach, I bite my lip feeling full of glee as I feel Jinyoung's delicate hands rub my arms up and down. He nuzzles his head into my neck, he strokes a sore area I assume that's where he had bitten me last night.

I would have to wear hoodies to keep it hidden in the future, I reach back to stroke the tender area. It feels a little painful but at same time its mixed with pleasure, it feels pleasurable remembering the night before. Jinyoung reaches for my hands, entangling his fingers with mine. I sigh, feeling strangely content.

We hadn't just had admittedly great sex, well at least he had been great for me. No we had stayed up I don't know how long for, but was into the wee hours I knew it. We talked over small things and big things, I found out that Jinyoung grew up as an only son and lived a very pressured life. Much like mine his parents placed their hopes onto him, he still struggled with the thought of disappointing them as he grew so fond of them.

Jinyoung listens to me as I reveal the story of my first romance back in mokpo. The person who had tormented and bullied me through my highschool years, Kim Hanbin the popular soccer genius and an awful shithead.

Although I was useless socially and wasn't much better academically, sports wise was where I seemed to prosper.Football was the sport that I did well in much to everyone's surprise, it meant I wasn't the kind of social outcast they were used to.

Despite my unpopularity, my skills on the pitch had earned me interest. Coaches encouraged me to join the team and Hanbin bribed me in order to get me to join the team, begrudgingly. My skill was needed and so they seemingly put their pride aside and "recruited" me. I wasn't always happy but I certainly liked the game, and so I kept with it and didn't quit.

My close relationship with Yien always lead me to be scrutinised and often tormented. I was the weird homo kid even before I got the chance to figure it out. It was something I despised people for, it felt like I had been forced of the closet. The rumours even reached my concerned parents, the people I had to lie to and still continued to to lie to. I hated it all.

I hated it all and hated everyone, they had forced the title on me and then treated me like shit for, I had no chance to deny it. As far as they were concerned it was who I was and I was always only worth anything when it came to football. Until one day after a football match, our team had worked really hard to prepare for the game and fortunately we had won. The team had all been euphoric not only had we won, but the coach had offered to buy the team a meal. I feigned a sickness and skipped the meal, instead I stayed back in the changing rooms and got cleaned up. I didn't want to be in a room with people I despised to celebrate, I wouldn't feel joy or elation so I would be no good there.They didn't notice or care, in fact sweaty and dirty they rushed ahead with the coach to celebrate.

No one had congratulated me, or even thanked. Even though I had played an integral part of the success we had. So I stayed behind for something I much preferred doing which was a long shower, alone, away from the abuse and paranoid stares of my "peers". I let the warm flowing water wash over me, it helps loosen me up and washed over my sore spots. I really needed it, I needed to relax and be alone. Way from my family, from Yien and from the shitheads from school.

However things didn't turn out that way, instead I felt the strange, strong and nude embrace. Muscular arms wrap around my waist, and I felt the warm skin of another.I frozen shocked and expected for Yien to be culprit, only to be surprised as a voice I hated whisper to me. "You did well Youngjae, we couldn't have done it without you" even though I try and pull away and push him away I fail.  
However his strong arms lock me in, Hanbin holds me close and whispers in my ear. " I think about you all the time, even when I don't want to. I try and stop myself, I try to get you to hate me and I try and hate you but I can't" he confesses shocking me completely. Hanbin kisses me me gently down my neck, leaving soft and sweet kisses whilst stroking my arms.

It surprises me a little but instead of pushing him away or calling for help, I let him do it. Being acknowledged and desired like that, I liked it. When I turn to his softer, vulnerable and slightly tormented face, he leans in to clumsily kiss me and I embrace him. For 6 months we were together in secret, that was my first closet experience.Despite the constant switch from tormentor to lover, I stayed with him that long until we drifted apart like normal couples do. Expect we weren't normal couples and we had never been, and I had never been able to experience something normal as far as love.  
Jinyoung listened with caring and understanding eyes, but he teases me and my charm and I feel the angst from before disappears. The pair of us laughed and joked all night until we had sore throat and couldn't anymore and we went to sleep.

Here I was in bed naked with a man I met yesterday, not only that but he was a priest and we had fucked in his house right next to the church. I really don't know many sins we had committed, but I didn't give a damn. No it was really too late for me to feel that way, I had displayed a lack of self control and had made love with him.All of it happened at different paces, with everything moving fast and slow, gentle yet rough, and I really felt a connection with him. He was better than I could have thought, like I wasn't his first time. Even though I had been a bit awkward, we had connected in way I had never done before.

Jinyoung nibbles on my ear, he strokes my arms and kisses me down my neck. I feel flutters of pleasure in my stomach, he whispers in my ear and asks for me to face him, almost as if I were under a spell I turn to him without hesitation. I'm struck just by seeing his seeing his face, he is freaking gorgeous.I find my eyes glued on his never wanting to tear myself away, his big sparkling eyes serve as a beacon calling me forth. I lean in to kiss him on the lips, his hand slides up to the back of my neck and he pulls me closer into a deeper heated and more passionate kiss. I've never wanted a moment to last longer than I have this moment, for the first time ever in my life I felt content. I slowly pull away from the kiss and lean my head in his well toned chest, I feel him stroke through my hair gently."My life... Its complicated" he starts to explain, and of course I understand what he means.

"There are so many things I want to tell you" he says kissing the top of my head before leaning to rest his chin on top of my head. However he doesn't elaborate further, instead he keeps stroking my hair with one hand and rubs comforting circles in my back. 

We are both briefly silent, and I can feel myself dozing off, I hear him humming a song that I don't recognise but it soothes. I feel myself really falling asleep when suddenly there is a rapid knocking on the door. Panicked we both sit up to look at the door, my heart races out of control. Jinyoung whispers to me comfortingly, "stay calm" he places a finger on his mouth signalling for me to stay silent. I nod my head understanding, I hardly wanted to be discovered in the bed of a priest so I stay silent. I watch as Jinyoung carefully swivels out of bed, his marvellous lean and naked body shows briefly in its glory as he rushes to find a robe in his closet.

He puts on the cotton fabric which looks a few sizes too big, it envelopes him and he wraps himself carefully making sure to hide what needs hiding. He sleekly and quickly opens the door, but not fully and slips through. I hear a male voice talk to him although I'm not sure,his voice it all sounds like murmuring. Sensing that our time together is over, I quickly and quietly as possible gather my clothes and begin to get dressed.

After a few minutes of talking, Jinyoung enters the room again. The expression on his face it isn't good, I feel a little queasy. When I ask what's the matter, he says he has to rush out a sudden death that he has to counsel a family with. I ask if he has to go right away and confirms with a nod on his head and suddenly he becomes awkward.

" You can't stay" he says abruptly, I know he's right but the words don't hurt any less. He looks a bit panicked and agitated, it leaves me a worrying knot in my stomach. Is there a way to explain a man in the room of a priest, at least with a woman his sin wouldn't be so against the church and its holy book.

"I'm sorry Youngjae, but you have to leave right now through the window", through the window? He explains that the church's deacon and the daughter of the deceased are waiting in the living room, so I can't leave through there.

" You can't wait either cause the cleaner will be here soon and..." he lowers his tone and whispers as he approaches me. All the confidence from last night is gone, now he's a frightened man trying desperately to hide his...mistress.

Just like that I'm suddenly hit by a ton of bricks, in this situation I am mistress and the Jinyoung is married to the church. "Youngjae please, theres no real easy way to explain all of this and I-", I don't get the chance to hear the rest of the explanation. I'm far too embarrassed and ashamed, reality has hit me and so I rush out as quickly as possible. I open peeling white framed the window, its few feet tall and has enough room for me. As I go jump out of it I feel an arm gripped on mine, I turn to see Jinyoung his eyes full of what looks like regret.

He regrets this, he regrets what we have done. Us being together was going to be a regret for him, I feel my pride take a hit. I reach to remove his hand and without a word, I turn to leave. I wasn't going to be someone's mistake, so if I had I would run away from it. So I jump down to the small patch of greenery that you could call a garden, I leave without looking back.

I would never return and put myself in that position, I rush all way back home on my feet. I wouldn't even let myself have the chance to think about anything, instead I get showered and dressed. Today is a normal day, I'll study for a few hours and meet with Yien later and hear about HIS night of debauchery. Its a normal day and I have the future to look forward to.


	3. Mansion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Markjae and more.

Youngjae's POV 

Yien had twisted my arm, no he had literally twisted my arm until I relented. I had planned for a quiet night in watching movies in a comfortable onesy, but my night had been hijacked by my best friend. I don't know why I call him my best friend when quite frankly sometimes, I really don't fucking like him. 

Using the spare key I hid behind my key pot, Yien hyung had snuck into my apartment and kidnapped me, with force. " I'm not letting you slob your free night away Choi Youngjae!", you're coming with me. No matter how much I protested, he was determined to get me from my comfortable bed.

I knew that Yien was strong, he was always going to the gym and keeping fit, although I just assumed he was there to pick up guys. However he had done some martial arts growing up so I figured he had remembered some of his tricks. Either way I had become victim to it and at risk of losing my ability to use one of my favourite limbs. 

So here we were in the seediest night club in Seoul, so seedy that it didn't dwell in the city like most other clubs. No instead this one could be found located on large piece of land away from the public, once a large and glorious mansion it functioned as a bar for the unsavoury. However the owner had bought the right permits and was situated on a piece of land that was not close enough to disturb anyone nearby. 

The mansion was a large the ground it was on spanned a few acres, with a large driveway, its big enough to park the guests' cars. There are around 30 plus cars at are parked, most are expensive sports cars. As a centre piece for the driveway there is a large flowing fountain decorated by beautiful flowers and fairy lights. 

The interior of the mansion is ridiculous, there is a large staircase which takes up room in the foyer. The stairs are a golden carpet meanwhile in the middle of the stairway there is a flowing red carpet. The place is really luxurious, however the decor takes its turn through the rest of the house. There are less golds and more blacks and red accented colours throughout the house. 

Edm thumps through the speakers surrounding the mansion, strobe lights flash across the dark space with dimmer lights to help with navigating. The place was full of all types of people of different races, sexualities and social backgrounds, it served as a popular haunt for those in Seoul who enjoyed debaucheraus activities. You could party downstairs and do whatever you please upstairs, there were hardly any rules in this place. 

It was even rumoured to be a haunt for vampires and werewolves. It was rumour probably spurred on by the decor of the place, it was styled like a British medieval mansion. The rumours were spurred on by those that disapproved of the club and its social aspects, their attempts to put off people inadvertently served as pull. The mansion now had an interesting cult following, which was part of the allure for Yien. 

I was never going upstairs not even once, because I had no reason to go."Awwwww come on Youngjae-ah" Yien teases as we sit at the bar, he room it was in looked like it once functioned as a living room. However it had been emptied of its domestic furniture and instead only had its stocked bar its stools and sound system, the rest of the was used as the dance floor that I avoided like the flu.  
"You have to leave that little shit hole you call a home kid, come out and see REAL people and REAL faces" Yien speaks up bluntly, not caring who hears him. Even though he annoyed me most of the time there was one thing about Yien I had grown to admire over the years, his ability to stab you in your front. I never had to worry about loyalty and if he was the kind of friend to speak behind my back, not when he spoke so bluntly.

Yien and I had known each other since we were both high school and his family had moved into my neighbourhood. Well not my neighbourhood his parents were wealthier than mine, but he was close enough that gossip spread of his family's arrival. He had been the good looking American foreigner who kept to himself, he never mixed with others well. Not that he wasn't popular, no with a face that pretty like that he had all the girls and boys shook up.

He was a beautiful flower boy, he was loved by everyone even if he didn't love them back. However he never blended in, not that he couldn't. But that he just chose not to. He was an athletic kind of guy, and could socialise with any type of people with no problem. However he chose to be on the lower rung of the social ladder and hang out with me, it was completely strange. We had a one year age gap but instead of hanging out with the fellow good looking and populars his age, he chose me.

It hadn't taken us long to become friends, in fact it was my third day of high school. He joined me in the school canteen, I was sat alone and completely lonely eating a packed lunch. When Yien plopped his beautiful self by my side, "Tuan Yien, I'm your best friend from now", he says matter of a factly as introduced himself. 

Yien strokes through my hair affectionately with a grin on his face, he hooked his toned arm through my not so toned arm and he hasn't been able to let go ever since. I had tried many times but even when we argued it didn't last long, Yien had a way of ignoring any argument we had previously had. He would pretend that the times we had argued had not even happened, sometimes it came in handy when an argument had been dumb and immature. 

However it was incredibly frustrating when I needed to make a point that needed making, usually it had to do with his lack of sensitivity and his boundaries. I wasn't some sissy little wallflower whose feelings were really hurt easily, but sometimes the way he spoke to me was more than my patience could take. 

"You need to get laid, I know its been a while since someone's filled you out" Yien talk shouts his vulgarity oh so sweetly. I ignore him and order myself a drink, if I'm going to stay here then I better just get some hard liquor into my system. Yien grins his beautiful canines showing and his plump lips, his eyes brightly light up. "Come on Youngjae, you're a sweet piece of ass you should know that", he says in his own encouraging way, I I flinch as I feel Yien's hand grip tightly at my ass.

I try and push Yien away but he holds on to me, he swivels around to face me and he grins before planting a kiss directly on my lips. I try and push him away but he persist and separates my lips with his and slips his tongue inside of my mouth. I give up resisting and let him have his way, he cups my face and pulls me into a deeper kiss his hands still gripping my ass tightly. 

Annoyingly what he's doing feels good so I go along with it, there was no emotional feeling behind it. Its just that the kiss feels good, if there's one thing that Yien knew how to do was kiss. Yien cups my face and becomes more passionate, I give into it and feel his lean body pressed on mine. Its not the first time something like this has happened, Yien is acquainted well with my ass. Not that we had ever gone there, we had kissed a few times but that was never on my lead. Depending on how much he drinks Yien would blur the lines, but he knew that we were better suited as friends. 

Yien had no problem with touching and fondling me when he chose. I wasn't special he was just a horn dog and his hand and my ass were in the same room so he would feel obligated to give me a firm squeeze. Well at least that was his logic and I had grown tired of fighting it, instead I let him do as he pleased, his other hand busily rubbing at my crotch. My hips involuntarily buck towards him, fuck it feels good but he's being ridiculous. 

Needing to stop things before we crossed a line, I catch Yien off his guard and push from the kiss and remove his hand from my tighter crotch area. I wipe my face and turn away from him wordlessly which seems to amuse him."Are you going to play hard to get my sweet Youngjae? you know how much that turns me on" Yien whispers in my ear. I ignore him and turn to the bar even then he wraps his arms around my waist and pay for both of our drinks. I can tell that he's hornier than usual so hopefully a drink will sedate him, I pass him his fruity drink and try and pull from Yien's arms. However he keeps his one arm around my waist, fucking hell he's feeling really clingy today. I hate it when he's like this, its times like this when he tries to blur the lines of our relationship.

So I decide to play his game and I normally don't like doing this but I would save my ass by providing him with another. I put my drink down on the bar and I pry myself from Yien's arms, before walking onto the hectic dance floor. Yien calls out for me but I ignore him, instead I scan the crowd for his type, someone to keep him busy. I scan the floor and find no one perverse enough, however I decide look out at the rest of the house. 

The next room there is more chaotic, the music is different in this room its more hiphop and chaotic. The energy is livelier, the people dancing, laughing and shouting and the sexual tension is thick. I can already tell looking around that Yien would be well suited to this room, however we never came to this room cause it was far outside my comfort zone. The Mansion wasn't for me, it was known for its sordid goings on and it delivered in that.

In fact the mansion was often investigated due to rumours of it being a brothel, however the owner it seemed to have a lot of pull in the justice system and avoided getting shut down. In the corner of the room on a sofa are a group of men and women in a state of undress, in the middle of a passionate and public orgy.

An small audience gathers to watch on two women and two men, as they strip each other. I do my best to avoid it and sharply turn away, however I can feel a lump under my shoe as I do and hear a yell following. I know that I've stepped on someone, I immediately bow to apologise and as I look up I am taken aback. 

The stranger that I had stepped on, he very handsome almost so much so that it hits me like a ton of bricks.He doesn't look annoyed as I assumed that he would be, instead he smiles a wide toothy grin. He is tall and manly in his appearance, definitely not a pretty boy like Yien. In fact he seems like he would be Yien's type the kind who wouldn't take his crap, that's something that turned Yien on amongst other things.

However the way this stranger is looking at me, my cheeks heat up under his gaze. I apologise to him profusely, "careful, this place is less of a dance floor and more of a wild zoo". I laugh in response agreeing with his description on this place, the comparison is pretty accurate.There is a brief and awkward pause and before I get the chance to ask his name, he excuses himself and quickly leaves.  
Failure, I'm always like that. I have no game for myself, i'm awkward and it takes guys like Yien to grab my ass and spell shit out for me. I can never be straight forward and tell tall handsome strangers that I am attracted to them, that's just me. Whatever, I decide to brush myself off and look for someone to keep Yien distracted.

I manage to find a girl called Han Minha willing enough to meet my strange friend, I talk to her about Yien with full disclosure and she comes along anyway. Having seen him around before she was interested already and seemed determined to win him over which was good for me it would keep him distracted. 

She was Yien's type, he liked edgy girls and seemed open minded so I lead her to him. His eyes light up which is a good sign, he doesn't hide his looking at her milky white thighs. They are quickly acquainted, Yien places his hand on the inner side of her thigh as they talk. With the pervert busy I can nurse my drink before I head off home, my bed and snacks were calling me. Yien forces me to join his conversation with Minha claiming that my sitting alone is making him feel depressed. He kicks my stool and calls me names until I reluctantly turn to him and his new plaything. 

Minha doesn't object, she sits on his lap his hand now disappeared under her tartan pattern mini dress. She leans her head on his shoulder comfortably, her arms hooked with his and her other groping her full breasts. I avoid looking at the both of them, it wasn't the first time I had seen Yien be so bold but I still felt uncomfortable. I scan around the club trying to avoid the steamy scene in front of me, however part of me wishes I had kept my eyes where they are. Instead in front of me, well through a throng of crowds across the dance floor he stands. A face I hadn't expected to ever see again,the face that I never wanted to see again. Memories come flashing through my head and I suddenly feels my stomach turn. He sees me and just stands there, watching me like he's surprised to see me here.

Sticking out like a sore thumb with his dog collar showing, he still looks gorgeous. Damn it all he was still gorgeous, even across the dim lit room he shined so brightly. Fuck it, screw him. Hell-heck, I did that didn't ? I try with all my might to look away but even across the room he has some kind of hold on me. I see him start to approach me, and I begin to panic and suddenly I stand up ready to make my quick leave. I feel myself held back I turn to see Yien's vice grip locked onto my arm, he grins nodding to Jinyoung. 

"Oh he's cute, and the dog collar is kinky, he's coming your way" Yien comments. " Don't pussy out you wimp" Yien continues on harshly, his other hand still underneath a turned on Minha. Eyes closed she swivels her hips around before kissing Yien down his neck, she's far too preoccupied. I try and free myself from Yien's grip, panicked but by the time Yien frees his grip Jinyoung is standing directly in front of me.

It had been 8 months since I had seen him, and its like over that time he grown. He seemed taller and buffer, my heart involuntarily skips several beats especially when he smiles widely at me. That smile that I remembered well, suddenly a fire of anger builds from my feet to the rest of my body. "Choi Youngjae its been a while hasn't it?", Jinyoung starts up the conversation. Without even thinking I push, well more like I shove Jinyoung aside and rush through the dance floor to the exit.

I hear Yien and Jinyoung call out for me but I keep going, I rush out like some pathetic novel heroine. Without my coat I rush out into the freezing cold of the winter, it hits me hard as I leave the mansion. Why couldn't I just make stupid conversation with him, it probably wouldn't have lasted long. 

"Hey Youngjae long time no see, how are doing? Me I'm fine, still a man of the cloth and completely unavailable". No I couldn't stand it and I wouldn't look at him, or think about him. I wouldn't subject myself to the shame I feel even looking at him.

So I rush out, past the fountain and past the cars and to the nearest road looking for the closest bus stop. I wanted to get as far away from you as I can, I run without looking back but when I try I bump into and fall on something I wasn't expecting. I hit floor with hard impact and roll over with something on top of me wrapping their warm embrace around me.

Finally when we stop rolling, I look up and see that on top of me is a familiar face. He grins watching me seemingly unbothered or unhurt, I pant feeling a sharp pain in my knee but am quickly distracted. I feel the pleasure I get from the heat of his body on mine, "we have to stop meeting like this", he jokes. I don't say anything, I can't say anything like before the stranger from before has me wordless.


	4. Troubled.

Jinyoung's POV

I was really struggling to focus on anything today, my head was clouded with guilt and despair. I could feel myself really having to focus on my day's work, normally I could count on my ability to be attentive. I was a really good listener, it had always served me well during my three years as a priest.

However recently it had become difficult for me to do that, for me to function correctly.I had always enjoyed guiding people through the highs and the lows of life, through birth and death. I had a connection with my congregation and and with GOD, but recently things have been different.

"My son... I know he's in danger" Mrs. Bhuwakul breathed tearfully. Finally my brain switches back on and I realise where I am and what I'm doing. I'm sat across one of my regular church congruants Ersa Bhuwakul, she was a prim, cute and dainty woman in her late thirties.

Normally her skin glowed and her eyes sparkled prettily, she was the Thai foreigner that had caught the eye of many church goers. The hard working single mother that had moved over with two children and was supporting one her daughter who was university and the other her son who had been staying with her.

Recently her son Kunpimook had become a problem, he had been a pretty good most of his life. However being bullied school had lead him to seek solace in a chat room, his dependence on the sight had his mother concerned. The pair had argued more and more until they reached a conflict, and now Ersa's underage son was on the run.

Kunpimook had ceased all contact with her, he wasn't answering her calls, her text messages and she now close to losing her mind with worry. It had been weeks since Kunpimook had disappeared from their home, and shw had no luck finding him and was lost on what to do. 

Even though the police were on the search for her son, Ersa lacked confidence that Korean cops would put much effort in finding her foreign son. She questions if I had luck seeing him yesterday, if I had any luck in tracking her son. " Or anyone that knows him?", she questions concerned tears brimming her eyes.

I go over the events of the night before, it had all been so hectic. A lot had happened, some had been relevant to my business there, but some of it had thrown me completely off. So I rewind from the beginning of the night, and explain all that I can to Ersa. A friend and I had gone to the infamous mansion, and my goal was to find Kunpimook or find a lead on him.

Ersa had confessed that her son "was a troubled boy" she had thought he had been going on the wrong path,his behaviour had been strange. "I found on his laptop messages from him and this.... Boy" she doesn't elaborate further but she doesn't need to. The look in her eyes full of shame and catholic guilt, it really pissed me off but I had to bite my tongue and hold back my feelings.

Plus it would be incredibly hypocritical of me, she can't vocalise the shame she feels cause she is a catholic. She can't can't accept what her son is due to her beliefs, even loving him l can tell she is conflicted. I understood the conflict of course, I'd battled with it most of my life, I could never judge her or even disapprove of her behaviour. I was still pissed though, more to be conflicted about I guess.

Ersa tearfully admits in moment of desperation she hacked into his computer and his social media accounts. She had seen exchanges between her son and his mysterious friend who only goes by "Draculalala". The messages started off friendly as the pair got to know each other, the music/movies and games they liked.

The messages got deeper and eventually lead to personal stories, and Kunpimook's friend was there to console him. They exchanged stories of being bullied and even parental problems, "but they seemed to be more than just friends" Ersa says looking up to me as if she expects judgement.

I reach over to Ersa's shoulder a supportive squeeze, I explain to her that we are ALL God's children. This church is not a judgemental place, and I am not going to send her son to hell, we need to find him and I will. She tearfully wipes tears away and composes herself before thanking me and then beginning to explain more thinks.

She explains in the messages from Kunpimook's friend who had told Kunpimook to meet up at "The Mansion". The mansion was familiar to me and many in Seoul, mostly the young people or a certain corner of the LGBT community. It was a place that was more familiar to my friend Jackson, Wang Jackson a cop friend of mine.

Even though he was a foreigner he knows the city like the back of his hand, having lived here since his early teens. I ask for his help and he agrees to come with me and help, we both went to the mansion. Jackson warns me that it is a dangerous place to be alone, we had met as I was a key witness for one of his cases. We weren't best friends, but we were on good terms as I help in some of his cases acting as a mediator between the police and troubled teens.

Jackson had some sources who lead him to believe the mysterious leader who went by the name JB was who had lured Kunpimook up to the mansion, the mansion was owned by a Hwang Chansung a business man who was hardly in korea doing most of his business in Japan. 

Jackson is aware of Kunpimook's situation and is concerned about him, especially knowing that JB has a knack for luring underaged kids in and using them as sex slaves or drug mules. However the kids have been so mentally fucked with that they pledge undying loyalty, and so JB remains elusive to the cops. Whats worse is the rumour of vampires, witches and werewolves that bought the dumb kids along. 

As we walk through the large mansion, we wonder through the crowded dance floor. Theres a lot of obscene and inhibited behaviour, my dog colour only agitates the situation as exhibitionists put on a show. I ignore most of it feeling unbothered, I have seen much worse before and this doesn't shock me. 

As we climb the staircase to the second floor I look over the raunch scene once again. Jackson teases him, "is this heaven or hell for you fathernim?" he teases me playfully. Wang Jackson had seen through me the moment we had met, he knew who I was but never judged me.

Instead he playfully teased me whenever possible but never overstepped doing this in front of others. I appreciate his respect and know he is harmless, his focus on his job and protecting people was evident. He was passionate and worked tirelessly to reunite families, to help others get answered and closure. 

Ersa was no different for Jackson, he would do everything he could to find Kunpimook and reunite a family. He had some cops hidden ready to raid the place, however when they check upstairs of the mansion it is completely empty. There is absolutely no one upstairs, unlike the downstairs all that was downstairs was furniture and beds.

"Shit" Jackson mutters annoyed, when looking in the large master bedroom's ensuite bathroom I get the whiff of a familiar scent. Even though the place had been thoroughly cleaned with bleach, to certain noses there was a scent you couldn't get rid of, not even with bleach. I've smelt it before and it stung in my nose, looking at Jackson there is a frustrated look on his face. However I can tell he has no clue what has been going on here, but looking around I feel a chill down my spine when my eyes settle on the stainless steel tap. 

I know what happened here, but even if I told Jackson I knew he would be sceptical so I decide to keep quiet and plan to return at a later date. As we make our way out down the luxurious staircase I sense suspicious presence, no it was more familiar than suspicious. I look around but the person I expected isn't around. Disappointed and impatient Jackson leaves first, he becomes sure that one of his sources must have blabbed and given us away. 

Frustrated he leaves the mansion and calls off the search, meanwhile I'm left to my own devices in the mansion. The presence that I had sensed earlier returns, I use my instincts and follow it. The presence leads me out onto the busy dance floor. It starts off hard to navigate but suddenly parts like the red sea. Still looking around for the presence in the corner of my eye I caught sight of a familiar face, I feel myself taken back completely.

It had been two days since I had last seen his face, he didn't know that of course, I don't know how he would feel about me being around. Well honestly I knew he would hate it,so of course I stayed hidden and out of sight. I ordered my coffee and cake snacks before his shift started, and hid behind a fedora and some glasses. As I sat and ate, I would watch the younger for exactly one hour.  
After 5 months a rainy day had lead me back to Youngjae. It had been an unrelenting rainfall I had no protection from the rain, so I popped into the nearest coffee shop to warm myself up and kill sometime until the rain stopped. I take the last remaining seat in the corner of the room, I'm practically hidden from everyone.

I ordered a cup of coffee and my favourite muffin, and entertained myself with a book that I had bought along. Half an hour later the rainfall was still outrageous and so I decided to stay back, as I make way through another chapter a familiar laugh gains my attention. Its a high pitched and wild laugh, in the corner of my eye I saw him. 

Staying hidden from behind my book I watched him as he served customers, he was awkward in his body language but still he looked so friendly and warm. I wanted so badly to get up and hug him, to kiss him and apologise, but I was weak and pathetic.So instead I just sat and watched him. 

That is all I allowed myself, one whole hour per week just to sit and watch him and be with him. I had been doing this for the 3 months and it was the only had kept me going. I knew that I couldn't get greedy and ask for more, I had to be able to stay focused on working. My ministry was important, or at least I was trying to convince myself that it was.

Since Youngjae had left my bungalow, I had to work double time to keep convincing myself. Its not that I hated it, being a priest. Its harder for me to console when in reality I need someone to console me, however I never got that kind of help I needed.

The mansion was first time I had stood so close to Youngjae, it had felt almost like a dream or a nightmare. I hadn't expected to see the younger, instead I had expected to wait 5 more days till Friday when I had the afternoon off. Instead of peaking at him going unnoticed, I had been the one spotted first. I didn't have the courage to approach him, however with my heart beating out of its chest, my legs worked automatically taking me him. The closer I got the more I wanted to be someone else, anyone else. To be anyone but the asshole who had fucked him and then kicked him to the curb. I knew that's what it had looked like, but that wasn't the case. I hadn't wanted him to leave that morning, I had wanted desperately for him to stay in bed with me.

When I approached him I could see the panic in his eyes, he wanted to leave but his friend didn't let him. The scene was all very awkward, Youngjae didn't grin showing all his teeth the way I liked. His cheeks different flush and cutely avoid eye contact. He didn't awkwardly and clumsily greet me, no instead he looked like he had as he jumped out of my window that morning 8 months ago.   
He looked hurt, all the hurt that I caused, I could see it in his eyes. I tried chasing after him but didn't get the chance to catch up with him, as I ran out onto the driveway of the mansion I felt myself being pulled back. "Hey stop right there!" I hear an unfamiliar voice call for me. I turn around to look at a strange arm gripped holding me back, I look up to see that its owned by Youngjae's friend. 

The friend is handsome, he's a pretty boy with brown hair swept up, despite the weather he has skinny jeans and sleeveless shirts. I feel myself getting heating up from jealousy, is he just Youngjae's friend?Youngjae's friend asks who I am, "Youngjae may not be the most handsome and his social skills are little bit lacking and sure, he's an awkward and weird little shit". I become a little unsure whether he really is a friend, but there is a lot of fire in his eyes. "However he's not rude to strangers and he's definitely not like that with people, not unless they've done him wrong" he stares at me not hiding his suspicions.

I briefly think over think my answer before I speak up,"I hurt him" I readily admit. Youngjae must have been hurt, he must have felt so much hurt if he had to go through what I put him through alone. If he didn't tell such a close friend, and all I want to do is stop Youngjae from hurting. 

"Speak up tell me everything, and if you have fucked up to a certain of no return I will pummle you down preacher man", he says with a stern face. With such a strong defence for Youngjae I can believe this isn't him trying to bait me for gossip, he seems to genuinely care about Youngjae. So I do it, for the first time I honestly reveal the truth, I need his help.


	5. Divisions

Jaebum's POV

"Don't get my place fucking closed down, be careful cause I'm not above of getting rid of you". Chansung bluntly threatens me, I don't take his words lightly I know what he is capable of. He knows exactly what goes under the roof of his mansion and usually turns a blind eye, that is until the cops get involved. 

This time was no different. News had travelled around town, it had been ballooned for dramatic effect. 16 cops had raided the mansion and found drugs, prostitutes and even weapons were seized. Criticis of the Mansion were clinging to the story, using it as a reason to get the place shut down. 

Chansung didn't need the bother and fuss and left it up to me to sort out, I knew he cops wouldn't quit easily despite our clean up the other day. If Hyerim hadn't lost her nerve and succumbed to some pressure and confessed, the raid would have successfully happened. 

Hyerim had been a runaway that Minyoung had picked up off the street, she had been deep in her addition to drink. Months later she had finally kicked the habit and had been seemingly on the straight and narrow. However with no family and friends supporting her outside of the mansion she had stayed with us. She had felt indebted to us and and had worked as a clean and healthy pump.

Recently her behaviour had changed and had been questionable, she was distracted flaky and jumpy. At first Minyoung had suspected that she had fell back into drinking,but soon her concern became so much more and so I began to take notice. She must have felt pressured by me because eventually without much prodding she revealed that she knew of a raid coming our way.

Naturally I was surprised and definitely frustrated at letting my guard down, I worked hard with Minyoung and Fei my trusted people to clean things up at the mansion. Once that was done, all that was left was to clean up the leak, I took care of that and closed my trust circle down.

The cops would have found not only what they expected to find, but they would have been surprised to discover our deepest darkest secret. I had gotten slack with my management of the place, the drugs, the sex work and the pump being mixed together like that. It was sloppy and rolled up together it would have been a shirt storm if discovered. I had to separate all the divisions and keep them from the mansion, at least for now. I was strict and anal and wanted to take care of it all myself, I thought I could handle it but it had become apparent that I needed the help. 

So I wake up early and make my way around Seoul to check up on things, I visit Minyoung first. She's at an apartment provided by Mr. money bags Chansung, we don't use it often but it works as a place for the pumps. Minyoung is like the house mother, she takes care of the kids, keeps them off the streets and out of trouble. She makes sure that they are well fed and healthy.

The state of the apartment is good and I warn the kids not to misbehave, they know not to open their mouths due to the consequences but I can sense a weakness. I pull Kunpimook aside to the smallest room to talk to him privately, he looks a bit antsy and on the verge of becoming troublesome. He is a runaway and came here on the recommendation of a friend, he has been well behaved and listens wells.

However I can sense trouble, so I ask him if he is feeling troubled. " No hyung" he speaks nervously trying to reassure me, I don't feel reassured though. I have noticed him acting strangely, he was once completely grateful for our organisation. But since that friend of his Yugyeom returned to his home, I can tell he's being swayed to leave. I remind him of what the organisation has done for him and what we could continue do for him.

I warn him to stay close by the apartment and to keep away from the mansion, I go further and instruct him to not meet with Yugyeom for at least a week. Kunpimook looks stricken but reluctantly agrees, looking at the bite marks covering his neck I find myself heating up. I knew the pair were close and Yugyeom recruited Kunpimook for our organisation, but even since leaving he was still an addict.

Kunpimook would do anything for the younger, he was "in love" and concerned about the pair going out of control. I can't have Yugyeom getting so out of control that leads the cops directly to us. That annoying Wang Jackson is gaining ground on me, he was a great cop admittedly and made things really complicated. So I push forward the message even slipping in a lie that frightens the younger into following my word, that the cops are after him. Its a cruel trick, but the world was cruel and I would use any trick to keep all shit in line. I had always survived by being ruthless and for now I had would have to turn that up. 

Later when talking to Minyoung she admits being in surprised to hear that Jia has disappeared, Meng Jia a Chinese runaway had joined us only for a month. She was insignificant and barely made it on my radar, I thought she was a passerby as she never made a commitement. She only once let herself be pumped and never sold her body, she made her keep by selling drugs and did so well.  
However the house hen Minyoung is concerned for her safety, I on the other hand am concerned for other reasons. Minyoung is cold just like I am most of the time in this business but she the much more caring of the circle. She was once a street kid and did things that I don't think she is proud of, however because of that she knew to care for the street kids we recruit. She kept the team together and enticed others in, and so she definitely kept their small little organisation together as a family. 

Later that day I meet up with Lee Junho at the mansion, he's in charge of the upkeep of mansion. I make plans with Junho to get him to do a sweep of the mansion and keep managing whilst I am gone. Junho is loyal to Chansung almost to a fault, that loyalty means he works for him and sometimes me. He has no ego, he simply works well and is resourceful. 

I inform him that I will be under the radar for a little bit, Junho understands and promises to take care of the mansion. He admits he will strictly enforce a drug search and in turn we might see a drop in clientele but I trust his judgement and go along with. "Its better we're safer than sorry", he admits the other night had been hectic makes a comment on the priest he saw working around.

My blood boils but I try my best not to acknowledge it, instead I focus on work. I need make sure the drugs are carefully transported, the visit is short and I find myself being assured. The operation is strictly ran by the eccentric Jo Kwon, he could be a little quirkcy personally but overall he ran the operation smoothly and made the organisation great money.

My last visit is at the condo in cheongdong-dam, I go to visit Fei and check up on her and the girls. Fei is a no nonsense and strict madam, she reassures me that she is fine on her end of things. Fei is a soldier through and through, once she pledges her loyalty she sticks by you.

She was the woman of Hwang Chansung and knew about the organisation he indirectly supported. Fei was more hands, she didn't enjoy sitting idle and being just his woman.. She earned her keep and was in charge of keeping those who sold their bodies. It was delicate business that needed the right person in charge, she was a friend, guardian confidant and guardian.

While we talk in the living room a young girl wanders in, she's pale, skinny and gaunt. She looks like she hasn't slept or eaten a good meal in weeks, although she has a pretty face, her general appearance was disturbing. Fei informs me that she is s new girl that that found the other day, "I got her tests done and she's clean and once I get a few meals in her she should be ready  
Trusting her work, I excuse myself but before I do I hand her over some money for expenses. Fei was a long way from home but she could handle herself better than any person I knew. Feeling satisfied with business and so I head off to focus on something personal. 

I pop through a friend's place and take a well needed shower and borrow some clothes and expensive cologne and head on out. I switch off my phone and heads to a cafe nearby to meet with Choi Youngjae. It had been a few days later since we had literally bumped into each other. Once accidentally and another engineered on my part, thankfully he didn't notice and so we had decided to meet up.  
I had a wiff of interest first meeting him over the days that had passed. However now I felt my interest growing, he was a little awkward around the edges and little soft and squishy and cute. Not my usual type but I was definitely attracted to him.

Eventually we meet and it begins to easily lose it's charm,I feel a bit mundane and the conversation is boring. The spark that I had from our initial meeting, as he talks I find myself planning the following day's events. I can't I misread this kid, although he seemed awkward he had seemed more compelling days before.

The younger is not as clueless as I had initially assumed, I don't know when he stopped talking but when I look up at him he is silent and visibly pissed. " Even if you're bored then at least make an excuse, don't just stare at me with my eyes glossed over", the younger speaks up sternly. I am dumbfounded by Youngjae's uturn,he seemed docile and harmless but here he was calling me out.  
"if I'm boring and wasting your precious time, just know I'm wasting my time too. I don't need to be doing this", without waiting for a reply he stands up and casually walks away. It's an anti climatic action to such a dramatic speech, but I can't rip my eyes from him.

Normally being talked back to like this was a pet peeve of mine, I was proud and liked to be the dominant party in any relationship. I get a nagging feeling watching him leave like this, as soon as he has walked down the road from the coffee shop, I get up and try and catch up with him.

I take a confident jog ahead to catch up with him, I stop him at a traffic lights seeing a shocked pedestrian crossing the zebra crossing. I ignore him and reach for Youngjae's arm, who jumps slightly started before turning to me. He frowns watching me, his eyes devoid of the warmth from before, I was going to have to work hard to win it back.  
"Bore me more, I like it and I have all the time in the world". I see the corner of her lips tug upwards. This is good I guess, however soon he's back to being colder. "I'm not here to bore you, this works as a two way thing" he lectures me playfully.

When I return to the pump home Kunpimook is still up watching tv with the mute on, he's silent and acting shifty especially when I make simple questions. Hen mother Minyoung reassures him that everything is fine, so I decide to believe her word. If it were otherwise Minyoung would tell me, she was loyal to me first and foremost.

I decide to relax home, I'm sharing a bed with Minyoung, we had a casual relationship. She was a good fuck and was an even better person to cuddle to, fortunately she had never once wanted or expected a commitment from me. Lying next to my fuck buddy, I think over my other half of the date with Choi Youngjae.

Although it wasn't much better than the first half of our date, Youngjae talked a little less and forced me to speak. I lied saying that I was a simple bar man paying off a hefty student loan a story which Youngjae bought. Youngjae was a little bit more charming gaining confidence from calling me out, he seemed more interested than he let me see. He had a secret that I wanted to learn not only that but he was attractive and would make a good lay, good boys always were.


	6. Complicated

Youngjae's POV

I have been really putting forth an effort to busy and distract myself, it been a whole week and honestly I still felt really overwhelmed. Not even the work was enough to distract me, in fact despite piling on shifts at the coffee shop and but he was still stuck in my head. I would be lying if I said that our meeting had set off my thoughts of him, no I had just gotten better at managing my thoughts.

After eight months I had thought that if I ever met with Jinyoung again it would be easier, I had tried to convince myself that he was just a lay. I had dealt with closetted guys heck I had been one, I knew sometimes there were inner conflicts that people had to deal with. Jinyoung had the biggest that anyone I had been with could probably have deal with, I understood that. 

It didn't mean that what had happened hurt any less, but I had admit I had been taken back seeing him again. Eight months after our one night I had finally seen him, instead of being mature and talking of him I ran like that. I ran away like a coward instead of facing him and I ended up crashing into Im Jaebum.

Was it fate us two bumping into each other like that, I didn't know but when Jaebum that night asked me out. It felt maybe like maybe I had been pushed into him to escape Jinyoung. I don't normally believe in such silly things, but for some reason I was clinging to the thought that it could be destined. 

I had met with Jaebum a couple of times within the week, usually for a short time. It always felt like he was busy or preoccupied, and I sometimes didn't believe that he was even listening or paying attention. However his ability to recite what I was speaking about word for word, though recited in a flat mono tone assured me other wise.

Sometimes it felt like Jaebum just needed the company so he let me talk as much as I want, and although it initially had me annoyed doing all the work there were sparks to him. There were moments where after ten minutes of me blabbering on to him with his eyes glossed over he would speak up. He would something funny or witty or even tell me a story attached to it.

From what I had gathered from our time spent together, Jaebum was well read and had travelled around the world. He was only a few years old than me and yet he had travelled to places only jealous heart could dream of, "I'm a lucky person" he admits in what feels like false modesty. It felt like he was saying it just to comfort me, luck wasn't what set us apart. In fact Jaebum was a skilled and intelligent person, and for some reason it felt likw he was trying to hide that.

He reminded me of my former flame Minhyuk, he was more capable than he ever let people know. However he did his best to promote the image of a lazy students focused on football, he even failed some subjects all to engineer me becoming his tutor. It was total bullshit, he was the smarter of the two of us and in fact he had been my tutor when he wasn't focused on fucking me. He was incredibly intelligent and had helped me get the grades that I eventually did get.

Jaebum was like that, like he enjoyed leading people into that false pretense and hid his capabilities. He had a quiet confidence, a quiet cockiness, I knew how to handle guys like him for the most part they really enjoyed being quietly the smartest person in the room. So for the most part I acted oblivious, I acted like I was was unaware and had no idea.

Thats not to say that I knew him completely, he was mysterious and not in a corny way, but genuinely like I didn't want to know something big. Jaebum was dealing with something big and I didn't know whether to be concerned or not, I ignored it for a while simply enjoying his company and kisses.

As far as affection Jaebum was the instigator of the two of us, on our first date when escorting me home he had taken my hand. When dropping me off home he had pulled me by the waist and kissed me ever so firmly and passionately. He was impatient and skipped right to slipping his tongue inside of my mouth, his grip on my hips firm.I liked Jaebum, and for now he was the distraction that I really needed.

Work is also a brief and fair distraction, today my shift isn't long but the coffee bean is always busy on a late Wednesday afternoon. Students from a school nearby came by for a study session, it was the "in thing" apparently. It never looked like they were up to much studying, it was a small social event which I wouldn't begrudge them.

It bought the Coffee Bean more money and bumped up my paycheck so I had no complaints, instead I worked rushed off my feet. Yien our had already been working for a few hours and was driving the ladies wild, he had his small fanclub that kept him busy. It was up to Yerin, Wooyoung hyung and I to serve the remaining customers. 

Admittedly Yien is acting stranger than usual, he hasn't yet questioned me about what happened st the mansion, he was just the same as if nothing happened. I wonder didn't he ask Jinyoung anything, wouldn't Yien have been curious over my reaction? I can only guess Jinyoung had slipped out before Yien could question him, he left and Yien probably found an embarrassing explaination. 

Plus Yien's probably too busy to think of anything else at the moment, as he has found himself tangled up in a love triangle with Minha and her pissed of girlfriend Suji. After discovering that her lover had strayed from her, Suji had done everything in her power to find Yien and squash him down. Rumour had spread that she was out for his blood and othet than school or work,Yien didn't leave in order to avoid Suji, which I admittedly find amusing.

However Yien never allows himself to be the butt of the joke, instead he turns his attention to teasing me. He points out one the male students, "I think we have a early closet case checking you out". Yien whispers before nodding his head back at one the students, he's huge and doesn't even look his age.

He has a candy floss pink hair colour that distinguishes me from the other students, he is dressed pretty well in comparison to his peers. Clean cut and and stylish, he has a few brands on, he is the group's lady killer. However he doesn't seem to notice his few admirers, instead he seems to watch me.

The younger doesn't make any effort to hide his gaze, legs crossed he sips his drink and watches me . There's an intensity to his gaze, I'm not quite sure but it feels less like a love and more of a hate he has for me. I don't know why I seem to have gained his interest but, I try and shrug it off, and continue on with the rest of my shift.

As I walk home I get the feeling that someone is following me, recently I've been feeling like I'm being followed. I mostly feel like this way at night and tonight is no different, I certainly feel myself getting paranoid. I've been taking cabs more often to avoid trouble, but today I can't seem to catch any cabs and money is a little tight,so I decide to head off home in a bus.

After waiting at the stop I sit down while playing a game on my phone, when suddenly I feel a hand at my thigh. My normal reflex of swatting Yien alone plays through as I push the hand away, only to quickly realise that it's not my handsy bestie. Instead sitting casually next to me legs crossed with a large grin on his face, my initial reaction is to stand up and run away but Jinyoung reaches for my hand and forced me down into my seat. 

"Don't run away" he calmly speaks, his voice so silky and smooth it sends chills down my spine. Fuck, I need to get away from him, but I stay Jinyoung's hold on my arm works as a weight. I ask suspiciously if he followed me here, and ask how he knew that I would be here. Jinyoung chuckles his light hiccupy kind of laugh and I feel annoyingly comforted by it.

As they always did my eyes eat him up, from his beautiful healthy black hair, his bangs just short of blocking his beautiful bright eyes. His plump and inviting lips, his flat toned stomach and tight thighs. Jinyoung waves in front of my face breaking me from my lustful daze, he chuckles and teases me. " Am I as handsome as you remembered?", Yes. I reply within my own head.

 

Jinyoung smiles and reaches over to grip at my thigh his warm hand sending tingles down my spine, he informs me that he enjoys the coincide. He had just come back from visiting a member of the church, I inwardly groan at the mention of his church. I had honestly grown to detest that place, and as if he senses it Jinyoung moves on to make small conversation.

I don't talk to him its annoying, especially when I get on the bus followed by Jinyoung. On the the bus Jinyoung is persistent until I snap and call him out. For someone who I haven't seen eight months since sneaking from his place he's acting very casual and friendly. Jinyoung's smile weakens a bit, seeing this I can't help but wonder if I was too harsh.

Jinyoung is quiet for a while keeping my eye contact, "I know what happened, I was definitely the one at fault" admits that he's just nervous about seeing me. I don't quite believe it, in fact it irritates me. If he had really wanted to see me, why had it taken so long to meet. Why hadn't he tried finding my number through Daewon, or why hadn't he been there for my two following visits to the church. 

"For a while I thought I could try and push down my feelings, it was one night after all. That's what I tried telling myself, but seeing you the other day. I can't". I watch Jinyoung my feelings all over the place, I have no idea whether to believe it or not. Jinyoung shifts his gaze down, "my dearest Youngjae I can't be with you yet", those words hurt more than they should but I try not show that.

"I can't be the kind of person I want to be for you Not yet, not fucking yet". I'm tired by his weak words,he's being so vague and I need him to be fully for real. " Stop toying with me" I whisper sourly before rushing to the front of the bus. Just being near him like this feels like exhausting, I'm being emotionally drained.

We walk together in silence, I'm walking to my place and Jinyoung. Was following me. I hadn't told him to stop, but I wasn't even sure if I wanted him to know where I lived. As we walk I can tell he wants to say something, but I feel like ignoring him. However he says nothing, I catch a look at him in the corner of my eye, he looks to be deep in thought. I wonder if he was praying to his wife.

I grimace at the thought and instead head to my place, we're getting near and now my head goes to other troublesome places. When suddenly Jinyoung takes hold of my hand, I try and pull away but I feel his grip tighten. He pulls me to a nearby alleyway, and without a word he leans in to kiss me. 

Its a soft and sweet kiss, it takes me back a little. However my body moves without thinking, I kiss the elder and wrap my arms around his shoulders pulling him closer. I feel his arms slide to my waist pulling me close to him, the kiss continues on gaining heat and passionate. I internally berate myself for falling for this and enjoying it and kissing him, but I continue to kiss him enjoying his all. 

Jinyoung pulls away slightly and bites my lips, I moan feeling pleasure. Why is being like this, before I get to question him he leans in to kiss me once again.He pulls me close kisses me passionately, both of his hands cup my face. I fall into him, stop being weak Youngjae don't fall for his charm.

I finally gather myself and push him away, I ask why he's doing this, all of this when he can't commit. He says he can't now, he has a job to do, his last job for the church it should take a couple of weeks at most. " I need to do this last thing, to help a woman find her son", bull. Even if its not a lie its still frustrating, I sourly question if he's trying to build up redemption points before he goes to live a life of sin and homosexuality.

Jinyoung cups my face and keeps eye contact, his expression looks earnest as he reveals that loving me could never be sin. My heart skips at the mention of the word love, how could he love me, we had only spent one night together." I owe this woman a lot, I owe the church too. If I leave them I need to do just one last thing". I must be a bleeding heart because I don't question him, instead Jinyoung smiles saying it feels good seeing me.

My weak heart flutters at those words, it was good for him but did he know how angsty it was for me. I'm pathetic and he must see it that way, all needs to do is bat his lashes and he's forgiven. Needing to win back control, the control that I lack do much I blurt out something. I tell him that I am seeing someone and ask if he's expecting me to wait as a sitting duck till he gets his shit together. 

Jinyoung watches me his eyebrows furrow and his eyes lose a little bit of sparkle for what feels like a minute, his jaw clenches. " I don't want for you to be lonely, if he makes you happy then you should pursue things with him" I stand and watch him taken aback and a little disappointed. My words didn't have their desired effect, I didn't have control he was the one that had it.

"Just know that when I am done with this life, I will return for you and whoever this guy is, I won't be so holy when winning you back", a cocky and sexy grin spreads across his beautiful face. God I hate him for being so attractive, I get distracted looking at his beautiful soft lips. Why am I like this, why can I have more strength and toss him to the side. He's complicated and it makes me so freaking mad, will he leave the church or is he just doing this to keep me along.

He leans in to kiss me once again, this time turned on by him I reciprocate melting into him, his hand sliding down my back sending shivers down my spine. When he pulls away from the kiss he continues to stroke my lower back, and his other hand moves my bang from my eyes. He smiles confidently having wrangled back control without much efforrt, my neck heats up. 

He says he has a few hours of free time and asks how we should spend it, and within an hour we're in my apartment. Naked and in bed having fucked for a second time, this time I'm the one holding him close. He is in my embrace and leans his head on my chest, the both of us are in a peaceful space just talking. The more I talk to him the more I become enamoured, just like our first time we were completely comfortable.

Jinyoung is witty, intelligent and cute, I feel a jealousy and attraction to him. I could never get bored around him, I want him to be around me all the time. The both of us play which leads to tickling, I laugh uncontrolled when someone bursts into my room. My heart beats out my chest as for some reason I expect it to be someone from Jinyoung's church looking for him, but it's not its my grinning asshole best friend. 

Yien grins playfully, "Ohhhhh so you two made up, thats cute!". Irritated I yell at Yien at the top of my lungs, but he teases us even more but when I look to see Jinyoung he's cool as a cucumber. "So father-nim, , I 've never had the chance but I've always wondered, my dearest Youngjae is he a good lay?". Picking up ,my pillow I throw it to him and I tell him to leave. Eventually he does, not after teasing us once more.

Jinyoung must be relieved he's here at homo head quarters, it explains his calm and relaxed attitude and just like that I'm turned off. I lay down on my back and look up at the ceiling silently, the regret from his face that morning eight months ago flashes through my head. Jinyoung leans his head on my chest and puts his arms around my body. He asks what I'm thinking and before I can do it, I can vent my frustrations to him he gets a call. 

His phone currently on my bedside table rings out and so I instruct him to take the call. He seems reluctant but he does so anyway, while he takes his call I get dressed putting a hoodie and boxers on. I rush out whilst he's on the phone, pent up and full of frustrations. Yien is sat on the sofa watching an American comedy and watches on with an amused expression.

I walk over to him and I sit next to him, leaning my head right on his muscular shoulder and look ahead watching an animated Kevin Hart. Yien doesn't questions this, instead wrap arm around me pulling me close. He offers me one his snacks to eat which I take and we sit comfortably like that for a while. After a few minutes Jinyoung leaves my room,hes fully dressed, his hair is a little messy. He walks over to us meekly, I passively reach over to hold Yien's hand.

Jinyoung doesn't look too bothered, he excuses himself saying he has to leave. I awkwardly wave him off, Jinyoung pauses briefly as if he wants to say something but settles simply for goodbye. I. Force myself to keep my eyes on the television, a few more minutes pass after Jinyoung leaves and I feel a hand rub on my crotch.

Yien palms my dick his eyes still looking ahead the screen, "wow Youngjae are you tender been a while hasn't it? Now you have become a chic namja" he teases. I push Yien's hand away and suddenly he asks what the deal between Jinyoung and I.   
I shrug confused and unsure myself, its complicated. "Thats what you get for boning a priest kid",Yien comments oh so casually.

Later that night I walk home from Chinese takeaway joint, I try to sort out my feelings for Jinyoung into a manageable way. I can't and won't get swept up, I'll only get let down in the end. I wouldn't be waiting for him, so I decide call up JB. He's a safer bet and still excites me enough,  
Hes not crazy complicated and I love it.

I nervously check on him concerned, he asks if I am busy or not without thinking I answer honestly revealing my day off. He tells me to meet him he next day at a restaurant, "I wanna see your cute face and eat with you" he leaves the details of our meeting and hangs up. My cheeks heat up knowing that even though my situation was complicated I actually liked him. I wasn't committed to Jinyoung so I shouldn't feel guilty.

On my way up the stairs of the apartment block,the lift is broken and so I trudge upstairs. I feel a presence following me and find it to be too creepy but don't see a culprit. I don't see or hear anything, i feel a breeze pass my side and a weight pass me pushing me off of my feet, I fall off my feet down some steps but am stopped before I tumble all the way down. When i look up and see one face I'm familiar and another that isnt. 

Minha checks up on me concerned, the unfamiliar girl with her is concerned too. I recover enough to only feel the bruises, I reassure them that I am indeed fine right now. I head upstairs and they follow in tow, its only as I reach the front door that I ask what she is doing here. Minha casually reveals that she and her girlfriend are here to see Yien. 

Looking at Suzy she's similar to Minha she has tough looking in her demeanour but she is also a beautiful rosey type. Judging by how scared Yien was, I think about letting them in, but I do. It would be interesting to see Yien get his ass get beat, so bruised and battered my hopes as dashed as Yien disappears in his room with the two beautiful women.

Once I've finished eating, I sit down to soak in the bathroom. I listen to music and think over all the troubled thoughts that swirl through chaotic mind. My body is bruised but my head feels more sore, it all hurts. My phone ringtone cuts through the air, I lean over to the side where ,my phone lies next to my body washes and answer the call.

Its Jinyoung, with the way we left things earlier I wasn't expecting this. He is calm and sounds sweet, he tells me that he's in bed thinking of me and I and we catch up on our brief separation and I make sure to leave out my fall earlier. Instead we talk briefly before he wishes me a goodnight, "I want to hold you right now he says" those words send me shivers down my spine. I tell him he could do it all he wanted, but first he must find this boy. " I will, and then we can be together", I. Involuntarily do an eyeroll but I pray with all my heart that his words could be true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not very familiar with Ao3 as far as the layouts and how I as a writer should do things, so i'm sorry if things look a bit shoddy. Also i'm pretty much copying and pasting this, so I haven't had time to read through it and correct any errors. realistically, i'm not very good at catching mistakes anyway... so bear with me.


	7. Thirst

Never had to do this before, but trigger warning. This chapter has some things people could be find uncomfortable reading (Rape). However for the sake of the story its necessary!

Jaebum's POV 

My cool was everything to me, being level headed was my thing. I didn't panic, get angry or sad, happy or, I was always on one level emotionally it meant my life was as plain and simple as I needed. Even in situations that called for it, I had developed enough of a cool to never feel panicked or fearful of anything. On the outside I was always cool and I was desperate to stay like that on the inside.

Often called cocky because of it, I hardly showed much emotion because I was too busy thinking. I always needed to think of the possibilities and my next actions, I never wanted to be caught of guard.I was a leader and head of a crooked organisation, people followed my lead and needed to see they were being lead by someone who couldn't be rocked.

I couldn't be rocked, I shouldn't be rocked. However I couldn't control somethings, my dreams were a place where I wasn't in control. Against my own will I was having a dream that I had many times before, it was a dream I hated to a place I hated. It was a time I hated even thinking about, it was impossible to keep my cool when I thought about it all.

Weak, naive and stupid, I used to walk around with my head in the clouds. I trusted far too easily and because of that I got screwed up and over, the people closest to you don't always have your back and you can only trust yourself. I unfortunately had to learn that lesson in the cruelest way possible, and ever since that night I haven't been the same since.

The events of that night flash through my head ans now I have to wrangle myself through my sleep. I force myself not to relive it all and find myself panting and sweating next to Minyoung. In the corner of my eye I watch as she lies sprawled out in her bra and underwear. It was cold but if it meant that she could seduce and pander to my needs she was happy to.

I quietly get up and get dressed and lean over on the bed with the sheet to cover her up. I admit that I may not be in love with her, but I am very fond of her. We had travelled across the world together and built up an empire, it was a dangerous one but it sure made us a lot of money. I was grateful for her, as I stroke her face I am suddenly struck in my abdomen with a sharp pain.

I grit my teeth through the pain and take a deep breath.I get pull away and use all the willpower I can must to pull away from her, I need to work hard and head off out of the room. I know whats happening, the pain and my vision is little blurrier.I wipe away the sleep from my eyes and walk into the kitchen/living room area. I want to get something to drink, something cold to hold me by in the meantime, however before I reach the fridge I see i'm not the only up at this early hour.

Sat in the dark lit only by the television in front of him is Kunpimook, he doesn't seem to notice me enter the room instead he's focused on the anime show in front of him. When I call his name he jumps slightly startled and immediately gets up to his feet to greet me, I turn on the light and ask the younger why he's up so early. He admits he's struggling to sleep, like Minyoung had told me earlier. I didn't know it had persisted and suddenly I worry about him. Kunpimook tries to reassure me that he's fine, "it can just get a bit boring staying here, so I sleep in the day and my body clock is off".

I suddenly realise that keeping him indoors for weeks like we have, he must be going stir crazy. I reach over and stroke the younger's head affectionately, he stays frozen in shock watching me a little bewildered. I had never shown him much affection, instead I had let Minyoung handle all that. I feel the striking pain in my abdomen which causes the younger to be concerned, "hyung are you okay?" he asks his eyes full of concern.

Without thinking and almost working on autopilot, controlled by my thirst I lean in to kiss Kunpimook. The younger is frozen once more but doesn't pull away, he accepts my rare affection and press my lips on his and pull his smaller frame closer to me. I feel his slim arms snake around my shoulders pulling me down to him, I slip my tongue inside of her mouth and wrestle with his. Its completely ridiculous but it still works, the pain isn't as strong.

I pull away losing my patience, Kunpimook watched me surprised by my actions. I cup his face and tilt his neck to the side, I know that I shouldn't. He tries to pull away but I keep my grip, ignoring the fear in his eyes I lean in Kunpimook. His warm and fleshy neck pumping full of blood, just before I can taste the precious younger we are interrupted.

Minyoung calls out my name her tone is less stern and more threatening, I pull away immediately letting go of Kunpimook. Not out of fear of his protector, but I know if I ignore Minyoung and do as I please it would cause me trouble later. Kunpimook immediately rushes to Minyoung's protective side, he clings onto her like a scared toddler.

When I look at Minyoung stood in the doorway dressed in one of my shirts which is so large it reaches to my thigh area. The look on her is not of jealous, she is protective of Kunpimook, she also senses my thirst and could always tell when I was thirsty. She knows me like the back of my hand and tells me to visit the nearest pump bar.

I reluctantly concede, people like myself who have been afflicted like this they usually go to pumps to stave off our thirst. Bars like this were common than ordinary people would like to know. It was better that they were elusive, I head off to my favourite bar. It was quiet small and open all hours, most people who came here simply came to drink and not to party and be wild. I needed this right now, however sitting in my booth with a pint of my favourite drink.

The pain is no longer as sharp as it once was, but I'm not satisfied. Being here alone I am suddenly joined by the bar lady Sunmi, she smirks confidently and greets me. She was gorgeous and radiated the ultimate self confidence and sexiness which gained her all the eyes of the room. They lusted after her, her beautiful milky complexion, her slender and petit figure, and intense eyes.Dressed in a long and flowing black dress with a long slit to the side, with heavy eye make up and a red popping lipstick. She could have anyone that she wanted and tonight it looked like I was it.

We make small and pointless conversation, by the way she watches me and the way I watch her looking over toned body. She has her slim and beautiful thighs on show and she really knows how to catch my attention. Her smell, it stings my nose and I have to work hard not to make any sudden movements. "You're very dangerous" she says casually and relaxed, she smirks and reaches onto my crotch. "I like danger" she says with a smirk before leaning in to kiss me, her lips crush mine.

I don't need much more convincing, I kiss her cause I need it more than I need it. I don't want her, I don't give a crap who she is, but she is warm and her flesh feels good. I can tell she tastes good, although she tastes bitterly of alcohol. I know she is a strong drinker, I'd seen her drink men twice her size under the table. The kiss progresses, the more I smell the more I want to taste her blood, I wanna suck her completely dry until she is nothing but a lifeless body. 

I feel a surge of energy flow through me,I climb to straddle her but suddenly I feel myself being yanked backwards. The force is so strong it throws me over the booth onto the floor, I land with a thud of pain. I look up to see my attacker, however a strong pain burns through my wrist. When I look down I see newly formed blood coming feom my broken wrist, I yell in pain as I force the bone back in my wrist. 

"Don't you dare touch my wife, you little shit", when I look stood in front of a now coy Sunmi is beast. Not an actual beast but hes so big and tall, and muscular, Taecyeon the owner of the bar stands in front of Sunmi. His eyes are wild with anger and he snarls at me, his usually warm and joker demeanour has completely disappeared. Aware with the eyes on him and our scene, Taecyeon takes a deep breath warns me to leave or he will force me to.

I know I should behave and leave but I don't, instead I feel the anger take over me. Its a boiling and frothing anger, I'm unhinged and out of control as my thirst finally takes over me. I stand up directly in front of Taecyeon boldly and without fear and look past him to Sunmi. She smirks watching the situation, the jealous fire lit in Taecyeon's eyes grow. With speed and strength he reaches for my throat, his vice like grip takes the air from my lungs. In the blink of my eye he punches me right in the gut, he continues to hit me repeatedly. He kicks and punches me.

I struggle against him being beaten to a bloody pulp, onlookers watch on fearfully. I was losing miserably to one of the strongest and oldest known living drainers, he had fought and killed many and was feared among the small drainer community. I knew better than to pick a fight but my cool had been lost, my thirst had taken over and I was paying for it.

Eventually Sunmi interjects and convinces her husband to keep me alive. Despite her behaviour Taecyeon was weak willed when it came to his wife and did anything she asked. So I was tossed out into the cold alleyway, physically bloodied and broke and battered and bruised was my pride. I lay in the dark alleyway realising that I have hit rock bottom, I lie on the floor slowly and quietly healing myself. Suddenly in my moment of weakness, the memories come back flooding to me.

It had happened almost 5 year ago, I had been a pretty cocky and fearless kid. I lived with a close hyung Seul Ong after having being kicked out by my parents, they could no longer stand my openness as a homosexual. However I didn't want to hide who I was, thats something I never could do and so I striggled within my neighbourhood and school. So once I was done with school I moved out of my childhood home to my hyung's place.

Seul Ong had a reputation for supporting the troubled kids of the neighbourhood, as long as he saw a spark of goodness in them he would do everything he could to help them. I was one of the kids and until I could save up from my job and find a place of my own. 

Needless to say I was completely grateful, I worked hard at a bar nearby to earn. I was happy and in love and even though he was closetted, I was definitely being more patient and waiting for him. I always said that I would wait for him forever and at that time I had really meant it.

One dreadful day I had been at my job at the bar I worked at, it was a seedy little joint used to hide debaucheraus behaviours. Adults in relationships with minors and same sex relationships, not that two were equal but in my town they were synonymous. I often just shrugged it off and kept working, and that night wasn't any different for me.

Seul Ong hyung however had bought a friend of his, it wasn't the first time be had ever done it. He often bought friends to the bar and because I was close to him I would often slip them drinks on the house. The friend he bought that day was an old school sunbae of his, he had come back to town and the pair were catching up. From the second he layed his eyes on me, Kim Junseok. Seemed enamoured.

It wasn't the first time I had caught the attention of someone at the bar, in fact it helped to have healthy tips. So I flirted with all sorts and did my job hoping to work at getting a place of my own. I flirted and served drinks not paying much attention to Junseok, he wasn't my type so I worked and headed out once my shift was over. I had threw I had been out alone, but it turns out that I had been followed.

I had made it a couple of minutes away from the bar, I slip through an alleyway that I pass through all the time. A gush of wind passes by and within a blink of an eye my walkway is blocked, stood in the way is Kim Junseok. Its strange and surprising, I had left him in the bar with Seul Ong hyung and now he's here so quickly. He's shorter stockier and average looking, he's definitely not my type and on first glance he seems like a nerdy slob. 

Naive, I had been so stupid , comfortable and greeted him politely and friendly. I asked what he was doing there, no major lights had gone off until he wordlessly reached for my neck and gripped and squeezed hard. He's incredibly strong, in fact he's stronger than I had expected its an inhuman strength. He's strong that with one arm lifts me off of my feet without much of a struggle, I am completely thrown off.

Confused, scared and struggling for air I try and free myself ,I'm no weak thing but Junseok is strong. He holds me up and slowly I feel my lungs struggle to draw air, the possibility of me ding there starts to look really certain. I gasp foe breath thats all I can do. I can't shout or even talk, I can't help myself in anyway, it hurts so much that my brain is only focused on the pain.

I start seeing spots of colour across his cruel and menacing face, he had transformed from an ordinary joe to this monster. He watches me calm quiet and collected no trace of emotion present on his face. Just when I feel everything darkening and my life coming to an end, he lets go.

Junseok removes his vice grip on my throat and drops me to the floor, I flop to the floor and immediately gasp for air. I cough and splutter desperate to gain what I had taken for granted, I still see rhe coloured spots my vision blurry but slowly recovering.I don't get much recover let alone ask what the asshole was doing, despite his size Junseok didn't move slow. 

One second I was catching my breath the next, I had been kicked across the dark alleyway with brutal force. It seemed impossible, he had kiced me more than a dozen yards away. I had flown through the air, I was in pain, in fact I was completely convinced that my ribs had broken. I spit out blood and look up at my attacker confused, what had I done to deserve this attack?

The question seems to amuse him a grin spreads on his face, as he walks over to me calmly. I am scared, witless I don't want to be here, its too farfrom anyone to hear my pleas, but I have no exit plan. Junseok was fast and strong, he was going to catch me over power and kill mm and thats what he did or at least he tried.

As I tried to get up and attempt a run for it, I was weak and bleeding so it was more of a stagger than run. As I thought Junseok is quick moving and blocks my way, I look up to him crouched in fear when he cups my face. "If you had just stayed and drank with me, this wouldn't have happened" he says bitterly. He reaches for my shirt collar and shoves me to the wall close by, scared and panicked I apologise.

Incredulous on the inside, was he doing this cause I rejected his awkward advances? " that won't be enough pretty boy, you're going to have to work for that apology" he says coldly his words leaving a chill down my spine. I know what he means but I can't believe it, how could it happen to me? Junseok throws me back onto the gritty floor and looms over me one second, the next he's right in front of me. He unzips his black and bland pair of grey trousers along with his boxers, he pulls them down and reveals his unimpressive showing.

I don't try to run I can't, not when he had me pinned down and pulls down my own trousers. He taunts me as he forces himself inside of me, some scorned bullshit about pretty boys and me being uppity. I hate him as it all happens, i've heard from others that fear and panic are the only things that run through your head as this happens. That you either let them have their way or you try and fight, but inside you are frightened and desperate for the first chance to leave.

However as he lay over me, his strength forcing me down on the dirty filthy alley floor pumping inside of me roughly. I faintly hear him continue his tirade of abuse, "did you think that you're too good to even just speak to me?. I can hear the bitterness in his voice, did he do this to all that rejected him? Was I another one of his victims?

All I wanted was death, eyes closed I calmly thought of the quickest way to end my existence. I couldn't go on living any longer, not like this because I knew this would wreck me. I wouldn't be the same anymore, this had already changed me. As I lay underneath this beast waiting for the hell to end, I feel a sudden and sharp pain surge through me. Its different from the pain that I had been subjected through my attack, no this was awful.

Finally I manage to yell out, I shout to the top of my lungs. Not for help but as a reaction to the pain ripping through my whole, I feel it from my head to my toes. This pain feels unreal, and I feel myself slowly losing consciousness. The pain is the only thing that keeps me awake through this ordeal,I don't know where its coming from and what it is. Junseok has me forced down and immobilised as he takes a part of me, my last bit of innocence.

The attack doesn't last much longer, he finally gets up of me and stands up. He zips his trousers and watches me, he still has a demonic look in his eyes. "Oh, You're still alive?" he says with a grin on his face,he looks amused and unbothered by the bloody pulp of a mess in front of him. I try and move but the pain immobilises me, all I can do is pray that my death comes quickly. He obviously wanted me dead and I wanted to die, I watch on wordlessly as my attacker kicks me once again.

Through my little bit of consciousness I can hear him laughing uncontrollably, its a laugh that has never been able to leave my mind since. Suddenly he crouches down and turns me over to face him, he teases what a bloody mess that I have become. I can't see anything but I don't doubt his words, he cups my face and kisses my lips. I still manage to feel repulsed through my agony, he whispers in my ear. "You'll die today".

Finally. I'm strangely thankful as he whips out his knife, I watch on in anticipation as he holds the knife to my neck. Without any other words he digs his knife in my throat and slits away and the pain helps drive me into unconsciousness. At that moment I truly thought that I had died, that I would be freed and no longer be in this dark world. However I didn't die, even though I had suffered a major blood loss and broken bones. 

The next morning I woke up, shocked that I could even do so. I was in a familiar room, my bedroom at Seul Ong hyung's place. I was clean, unbloody and pretty well put together, I was no longer in pain. I almost forgot what had happened and started the day like any other but then last night's events flash through my head tormenting me. I burst in tears reliving it all, I can feel the pain. When I turn around I see Seul Ong sat on a chair next to me.

His face looks conflicted with emotions, worry and guilt are the more dominant of the two. He asks if I'm fine, the fact that I don't reply seems to be be enough of an answer. How did I get here? How am I even like this, I had my throat slit. "I wish i could tell you it was a dream", he admits but he straightens his face and reveals the truth. From him hearing my yelling, to finding Junseok slitting my throat.

Needless to say he was shocked and furious and a fight with Junseok insued, which ended in Seul Ong killing his friend. I am baffled, how does that even make sense, Junseok was strong so how could Seul Ong hyung kill him? I had so many questions, the main one being, why am I still alive? He pauses briefly his eyebrows furrow, he looks conflicted before eventually revealing the truth, the whole truth about what I was now. 

"I had to save your life the only way I know how", he reveals that he turned me into a drainer along with a history lesson and a warning of my life as an addict my future thirst. "You could kill the one you love",he explains that the thirst is will control me and bring me a few highs and lows. 

Right now, right here on the side of the road healing from my attack from the beast Ok Taecyeon. I think about the one I love an one face flashes through my head, I had only ever loved one person but he was dead.

The thoughts of him and our time together suddenly start to overwhelm me, my heart races so quickly and I struggle to breath. My emotions influence this feeling and I feel my thirst becoming stronger, it begins to take over my consciousness . I wanna kill someone or maim them completely and end my suffering and their suffering. I feel a sharp pain hits my heart, it all hurts so much and I keel over with no one watching him, no one is there to help him just like the years before when I was attacked by Junseok.

Through the darkness suddenly I hear a repetitive ringing sound,its sharp and annoying and I want it to stop immediately. When suddenly I flip over and I search for my phone recognising the ringtone. 

I take my phone and answer wordlessly when the voice on the other end pulls me forth, it sweet and warm. "Hyung? Are you there?" he waits for reply briefly, I sense him giving up so I simply say his name. He resumes speaking he speaks on his long day, not being able to see or talk to me and he asks if I'm fine. I don't answer there is a silence and he wonders where I am and what I am doing, I can hear the concern in his voice. 

Eventually Youngjae seems to get exasperated from asking, "Don't be like this,if you didn't want to talk to me then you shouldn't have answered". I ask for him to come, to meet and I can hear him pout but he reluctantly decides to come and meet me.He pauses briefly before agreeing and I feel my heart becoming relieved and half an hour later he's there with me. I'm fully healed and completely changed, and waiting for him. I feel an excitement and anticipation waiting, and when I finally see him I'm relieved.

Youngjae is dressed in a large comfortable looking red bomber jacket, some skinny jeans that hug his impressive thighs and ass. He's bright and shines through, he greets me playfully his eyes sparkling out towards me. I smile briefly and lean in to kiss Youngjae softly on the lips, he kisses me back as he always does. I always instigated things between us as far as affection was concerned or even kisses, however he always seemed to fight for dominance.

His hands slide to my waist pulling me closer, I wrap my arms around him and pull away to kiss his forehead. When I look down I see his eyes are full of concern and he asks if I'm okay, he even teases me. "You're nicer than usual", I can't help but grin as a reaction. Choi Youngjae was fun and witty and never played the submissive part that I wanted, he was an equal and it turned me on.

He leans in to hug me and pulls me into his arms, without even working at it I start spilling my guts out to him. Not everything but I let him know my weakness as far as my addiction was concerned and I let him know that I am struggling, i'm sure he assumes I'm talking about drugs. It would be hard but I don't know how would he react to the fact that I am someone that I can kill him. His relaxed body language means he has no idea, instead he strokes my back and hums understanding me as I speak.

I feel somewhat safe and warm in his arms, Youngjae wraps his arms around me and kisses my neck, suddenly smelling him and feeling him. His sweet smell, not a cologne but his own body odour. I reach for his waist gripping tightly, I lift him up and push him to a wall nearby. 

Youngjae looks a bit startled I feel conflicted between some warm feelings of fondness and the cold need to suck him dry. However before I can move Youngjae recovers quicker than I could, he leans in to kiss me it's a soft and passionate kiss. 

Normally Youngjae was the one who needed reassurances and comforting, his married ex had put him through some shit. However Youngjae was the one comforting me and he hums and sings the way that I like him to and he rubs my back and I feel myself calming down. I don't know how long we're like that for but its enough to turn around the chaos in my mind.

Unfortunately our moment doesn't last as long as I i wish it would, we receive an interruption when Youngjae gets a call from his roommate. The call like many between the two involves Youngjae speaking in a mono tone and rolling his eyes, but once the call is done he says he has to leave but I hold onto him. I grip onto his arm like some love sick fool, and keep his eye contact.

I submit the control of our dynamic and make the first move to ask him to stay. I tell him that I need more time with him, however he says he has to leave and help Yien wit putting something together. I pout and watch him pleading him with my eyes, which causes rhe younger to smile and stroke my face be he kisses me from my forehead my check and my lips. 

I kiss him back accepting his soft kiss, he sends a flurry of kisses so he pulls away and teases me. "Hyung, are you going to miss me?", as an automatic reflex I scoffs pulling away from him. I turn to make my way away and grip onto my pride, however I feel Youngjae's arms wrap around me. He leans up to my ear and whispers, he tells me that I can come to his place if and I agree without hesitation my pride going home without me.

I had never been to his place,despite the fact it is home to two young males. It's small and homely place, its clean and meticulously decorated. His roommate Yien is good looking, he's a pretty boy and my usual type as far as sexual partners. At first introduction I can see that he's attracted to me, he's a rough talker and doesn't hold back his words and questions. 

Despite Youngjae's protestations I answer the questions, Yien seems to want to know my intentions with his friend. I honestly answer and reveal, I like Youngjae and am interested in him. A blush creeps across Youngjae's face, be smiles and forces the conversation another way. Yien possessively reaches for Youngjae's hand and leads him over to the living room area. He instructs his younger over to look over his laptop. Youngjae reluctantly sits down and gets to work, so I patiently wait and sit on the leather seat watching the younger work. 

Half an hour later he is done with the computer repair and rejects Yien's offer for late night drinks, having school the next day. Instead much to Yien's displeasure, he reaches for my hand and pulls me into his room. Its small comfortable and warm looking, it looks less like the room of a male in his early twenties. Youngjae's room is clean and warm and inviting. 

His bed an inviting queen sized bed is covered with a duvet and a knitted quilt with some stuffed animals. Its cute, he's totally cute. He quickly gets undressed into his shirt and boxers and lies in bed, he invites me to join him. He grins confidently and doesn't seem as embarrassed as I had expected, he pats the space on the bed next to him .

As we lay in his bed together my head rested in the crook of his neck and I have the tough task of trying not to kill the boy in front of me. I needed Youngjae right now but I was struggling and would need to stock up on blood to avoid this thirst ever again.


	8. Curiosity

Jackson's POV

I knew more than anyone expected, I wasn't an idiot I saw what they tried to hide and heard what they kept silent about. I just made the choice to take that information when it suited me, and right now it didn't suit me but I definitely had to accept it. 

My brain can't switch off as I try and make all the links, I had a general idea but my curious mind wanted everything lined up and completely clear. 10 minutes before my 6am alarm, it’s still dark outside this cold winter's morning. I lie shirtless in bed with only boxers on, fortunately I get heat from the body lying next to. My beautiful partner lies asleep her head resting on my chest, she softly sigh through her slumber. 

She's been tired lately, completely overworked. I stroke through her hair, making sure not to wake her up and whisper my love for her. I never told her my love but she knew it, we had been together so long that I would never need to utter the words. She knew the kind of person that I was, that I had grown up with such cold parents that it warped me. 

I wasn't cold on the outside, everyone knew me as the cheerful happy Wang Jackson the energiser of the Yongsan districts police force. I was a lively and hardworking detective at my young age I was already a detective. Against all the odds, I worked hard to protect the place that I loved so much. 

The foreigner who had stayed here in Korea to protect the place that I called home, I loved my job it gave me the purpose that I needed and craved. My job is also how I met her, she was the strong and silent type and I fell in love with her the second I laid on her beautiful face.

Her feline features, her intense stare and a quiet arrogance to her. The way she held herself, it wasn't at all cute she almost like one of the boys, but her slender body and pert breasts were enough to prove that theory wrong.

We hadn't gotten along well at first, like one of the corny dramas she watched so much, we started off as enemies. We had begun as rivals, the fellow foreigners working for the same single position we played tricks and not trusting each other. However life and death situations meant that it didn't last long, we were brought closer and soon enough we were together and have stayed together.

I had to protect her and so here I laid and plotted and planned. I don't know how long I'm thinking for, when suddenly my phone buzzes cutting through the air. I reach over as quickly as I can to turn it off, I carefully lift her delicate body and shift it off me onto the bed, before sitting up in order to get up and ready for the day. 

Its 7am by the time I get to work, it’s early and I don't yet have my first cup of coffee in me to properly function. However before I can put my shit down and get some coffee waiting for me, sitting at my desk is father Park Jinyoung. 

He never does this, he avoids coming to this place at all costs. Anytime I've needed him for information or mediation I've had to make my way to him, I can only assume I know why but today is different. He's dressed down from his normal smart demure attire, in a pair of sweatpants, a large hooded coat and some trainers.

I ask what he's doing here, without my cup of coffee I'm a little bit blunter and lack the ability to hide my suspicions. Jinyoung smiles softly and politely greets me, he explains that he needs my help with something. "I found a lead on Kunpimook", I sit down intrigued watching him waiting for him to elaborate.

Since the failed would be raid at the Mansion, all traces to the elusive JB and all his operations had disappeared. No one was talking, Gong Hyerim was source especially quiet. She was a teenage runaway and impressionable and very easy to manipulate. With a bit of pressure I got her to give up a lot of information on JB, she was weak and I'm sure she is who gave JB the heads up in my interest in him. 

She wasn't very loyal, instead she was a survivor but I guess she didn't see herself surviving with me. It frustrated me being underestimated like this, and because of that screw up with the raid and using police resources for nothing had caused me to cop a lot of shit at work. I needed to regain my control and become the success that I was before, so finding Kunpimook was important.

Kunpimook was the link between me and JB and his operation, I would gladly accept the help of Jinyoung if it meant I could find him. "Utopia dance club", he says before pausing for what seems like forever. I was familiar with the Utopia dance club, it was a popular club within the Yongsan district. It was a place I often visited in my late teens, it was popular with the late teen and early twenties kids who enjoyed dancing. 

Though the owner was to the book law abiding man, however like most clubs there were kids who often tried to sneak in to entertain themselves. The wondered why the place was of any significance to Kunpimook, was he spotted there? "No, but he should be, I've set it up that way" he reveals. 

I can't help but ask suspiciously how he set things up, he informs me that Kunpimook's one and only true friend from school worked with Jinyoung and Ersa. "Using her kakaotalk I set up a meeting at Utopia, it was the only place he would agree to meet". I sit back baffled, from what I knew Kunpimook was a loner and only had friends from the internet, but now of a sudden there's a friend.

"I visited his school in hopes of finding a person, most of the kids weren't very forthcoming. Even though the young lady was unsure, she met with me later and gave up some good information". Jinyoung reveals that the young girl Park Jimin has been in contact with Kunpimook for weeks, she hasn't known where he was but from what she gathered he seemed to be regretting his choice.

He reveals that Kunpimook is regretting running away due to his boss' scary nature. The meeting Jinyoung set up under Jimin's alias is meant to be two friends catching up. “If he's afraid of boss he might want to leave, but if we tell that this is set up it might startle him" he speaks logically. "I remember you telling me that your informant probably got frightened and leaked the news out of fear, if Kunpimook knows nothing then there is nothing to fear right?”

Park Jinyoung was more than just a pretty face, he had brains and even without my help he put all this together. He was good, and as we talk further and plan he has thought everything out, in case Kunpimook comes with another person and how best for me and my officers and I to apprehend our target. His determination, the look in his eyes it looks familiar.

He has someone he wants to do this for, I ask what his relationship with Kunpimook is and he simply states like I had thought he attends his church but he doesn't elaborate. I don't sense anything too suspicious between Jinyoung and the younger, but it doesn't seem as honourable as he wants to make it. He's more hands on and he's working harder than most cops I knew, but I don't ask any further and instead work for him. 

Before I put Jinyoung's well thought out plan into action I have to get the all clear from my boss, since my last failed attempt at a raid. I had to work harder to convince Minjun hyung the sergeant, he had faith in me but this had been a difficult case. I wasn't the first detective to take the case, it involved more than just drugs and prostitution. Although we were receiving pressure to solve those cases, there was so much that the general public didn't and could not know.

People had died in strange circumstances, drained completely of blood and with bite marks. We knew what it looked like, but surely we could not be. A vampire or several vampires are on the rampage, it would makes no sense, and there was no such thing as vampires and werewolves. No Minjun was determined to find another reason, a serial murder on the loose that was bad enough without adding supernatural madness to it. 

Minjun hyung always believed in me and allows me to have a team of my own, though smaller it was better than nothing. Before I head off with Jinyoung to the club I return home and get washed and dressed, Jia is home cuddled up on my sofa. In a comfortable and warm red onesie covered in white polka dots. She looks adorable and she doesn't get up to greet me, she's in the foetal position.

As I approach her and seeing her face up close she's pale, shivering and sweating. I lean over the sofa and wrap my arm around her sofa, that’s all I can do as she suffers through her withdrawals. She squeezes my arm and kisses my hand before asking what I'm up to until today. I let her know the progress of the case and Jinyoung's help on the case.

"Is that the guy from before? The one you liked? “Jia asks teasing me playfully. Jia hadn't met Jinyoung but she had an interest in him, not romantically. No they had a shared link and she had some questions for him, I would make sure to help her what she needed. In the meantime I ask her to rest up, I serve her something to drink and eat. I warn her to not leave the house and tell her to stay away from Minyoung and the mansion.

The situation was dangerous and she wasn't in the state to be out fighting crime. Minjun hyung had allowed her some time off, if he hadn't I would have forced her. However Jia was co-operating and letting me take care of her, I kiss her forehead and hug her once more. She grips onto my arm and whispers encouragement to me, "do well my Jackson Wang". Her bright words serve as a way to energise me and I rush out to save a young man.

I head out with Jinyoung to the club where we try and set up our operation, I have a few younger looking cops in plain clothes upstairs and downstairs. The club is a large it had two different floors, the bottom floor was a lively and quieter. The crowd downstairs were older, the twenties crowd had a lot of fun.

 

Jinyoung and I stick to the bottom floor, we sit on some stools nearby we get a few drinks and try and blend in. Jinyoung is on the phone as we wait, I cannot help but be curious who he is intensely texting. I had the phone which Kunpimook would be contacting, and his church knew he was out helping me. Jinyoung grins widely and eventually puts his phone away and begins to nurse his drink. 

It’s a while waiting for Kunpimook who hasn't entered the building, however someone seems to have caught Jinyoung's attention. He looks across the crowd club towards the bar, I follow his gaze and see a couple together. Two young boys in their early twenties, they wait for drinks, one of the younger is a cute pretty boy. The other is a pretty good looking kid, who pales a little in comparison he casually leans the bar and the pretty boy wraps his arm around his waist.

When I look back at Jinyoung the look in his eyes different than I had ever seen, his body language is tense and his eyes are intense he looks mad, no jealous. It clicks a little and I ask which one it is, "which is the one you like?” Jinyoung is silent but makes sense, I sensed it in him as soon as we met, and I knew what kind of man he was. 

 

The way he looked at me, I recognised that look knew what kind of man he was. I didn't judge nor did I care, he had never over stepped trying anything with me and over time his gaze changed. When I ask if he has been with either one he and doesn't answer my question, so I make my guess looking to who I would expect to be his type out of the two.

I guess that it’s the back hugger, even from across the club he's a pretty boy and his handsy behaviour would be enough to enrage a lover. Jinyoung stays silent jealousy slowly consuming him, he watches on before taking a chug of his drink. Turning back to the back hugger I watch as he and his male friend are playfully talking when suddenly the hugger turns having been called by someone. The hugger walks over to a pretty girl, leaving his friend at the bar with his drink. 

The hugger grabs the girl by the waist and leans in to give her a kiss. Is he bi? I wonder what the hell is going on, everything has become more complicated, this guy is boldly moving between two lovers while unknowingly being watched by another. The guy at the bar however doesn't seem bothered, my cop brain tries to piece it together, is a secret play thing for the hugger? Is his man in the closet, my brain tries to piece it all together but I receive a major plot twist

Jinyoung without warning with a spark and fire in his eyes as he gets up and walks over to the bar, past the pretty boy and his girl. He whispers in the ear of the boy at the bar who turns around to him, they seem to know each other. It becomes all too clear when Jinyoung cups his face and leans in to kiss him, the other briefly allows the kiss. Jinyoung pulls away from the kiss and watches the younger, the way he watches him. 

Right now Jinyoung doesn't even see anyone else, this crowded place full of hundreds. Jinyoung can only see this boy and, he smiles tenderly at the younger stroking his face before leaning in once more kiss him. Jinyoung kisses the younger pulling him into a tight embrace, the look so natural like they had been together a while. The hugger is with his girl giving the two room and grins chatting excitedly, it seems like though the situation is not as complicated as I initially thought.

However Jinyoung is a still priest, so it still holds complications and taboos. Gripped by curiosity I watch the pair, I slowly realise the look in his to be similar. He had that look when planning tonight, a look of fierce determination. Whoever this kid was he seemed to be of great importance, I had noticed a change in him recently and I think this could be it.

In the back my of head I can't help but worry, does this kid really know what he's getting himself into? Maybe the allure of being a catholic priest is exciting but what about the other thing? Did he know, did that add to the excitement? 

It seemed like a lot of people were getting involved in those kind of games, I had a lot to wonder about. However that all disappears the moment I receive a text that I had been expecting, he's here and waiting for us. 

$MookieMonster$: I'm here up on the second floor, where you chingu? :D 

I text him back immediately under the pretence of being Jimin asking for him to wait for her. I rush over to Jinyoung, I have to rip him from lover boy.


	9. Reunited

Jinyoung's POV

This was for him, it was for us. I needed to do this and not only reunite a family and save a boy from a frightening situation, but also I needed to free myself. Maybe Youngjae had been right, that I was doing this to redeem myself and win points for myself. I was making a major life change and I was so afraid, afraid of Daewon hyung, my bishop, my disoeses, church's congregation, my family. I was afraid of the backlash,I knew I would be judged, disapproved of and even hated.

However being hated by others was a price I would pay, if it meant I could win the love of Choi Youngjae. I could feel him slipping away already,even though we had talked on the phone nearly every night.He would speak on his day and when it didn't involve or it involved the guy he was seeing. I was frustrated, Youngjae hadn't made any promises to me, he wasn't going to be patiently waiting for me. 

No, I had to hurry and come through with one promise to Ersa, then I could be with Youngjae. Meanwhile just hearing his voice spurred me on, I loved hearing about his days and his small stories and his big ones. I needed a a future with those stories and I needed my future with him. He was the person I knew I could be with and love with my all. 

Our first night eight months ago was the wrecking ball for false and fragile the life that I had constructed, his sweet smile and his bright eyes wrecked me. He wasn't my type as far as looks, I had been with few men but I knew I had a type and Choi Youngjae wasnt it. I enjoyed a strong and dominant man, however Youngjae was not dominant but I knew he was strong. As he talked about his past I knew that he had a quiet strength to him.

He had the chance to run and blab his mouth about sleeping with the priest, if not publicly he could have attacked me privately. Being as hurt as he was I wouldn't have begrudged him such actions, but he hadn't done it. Youngjae had kept the secret and although I know it must have irked him greatly, I had made him into only someone I simply fucked. 

Youngjae wasn't just a fuck, he was my future. I was going to work to win his love and his trust, and so here I was in front of him on the bottom floor of this club. I stroke his face and wonder if he knows just how close I am, I will no longer be man that troubles him. "Youngjae" I say his name trembling slightly, overwhelmed with nerves and excitement. "Are you okay?" Youngjae asks reaching to palm my hand with both of his hands.

"I'll be there for you" I tell Youngjae, he looks a bit taken aback but he doesn't seem to believe me. He leans his head on the crook on my neck, he feels so warm and comfortable, I wrap my arms around his shoulders pulling him closer into my embrace. He smells good, his sweet citrus perfume, I feel his warm breath on my neck. "I won't believe you, your words aren't enough", even though it hurts to hear I know that I deserve it.

We stay like this in the middle of the floor, in each other's arms and we talk. Nothing big, Youngjae gives me an account of his day, and honest as usual he lets me know that he not only went to work but he also came back from a date. It hurts to hear but I listen, I force myself to listen to him and force myself to hear it and to be spurred on. Jealousy and fear spurrs me on, no matter what way I look at it feels like he likes this guy. 

I had thought he was was initially trying to make me jealous, and I am but when he speaks of this guy its with a warmth. I hate it, I wanted to be the only one for him and I couldn't not until I found Kunpimook. For now I would stay here with him as long as I could, Youngjae wraps his arms around my waist and I feel him kiss my neck. I stroke through his blonde locks and think of all things I want us to do together once the search is done.

Our warm moment doesn't last long as I feel a little tap on my shoulder, irked to have my moment ruined and I turn to see Jackson stood in front of me looking impatient. "The kid is here" he simply says probably not wanting to give anything away, however he looks really sketchy. I turn to Youngjae who watches me with jealousy in his eyes, I can't help but grin although its childish of me, seeing his jealousy excites me. He wants me and I know it, but he's too stubborn to admit it. I try and make the situation less awkward and introduce Jackson to him as a friend.

Youngjae reaches his hand over to offer a greeting, but an impatient Jackson asks for us to head off, I turn to apologise to a disapproving looking Youngjae. Yien annoyingly interjects and complains about Jackson and I being mysterious, "is he another squeeze of yours father nim, you're very bold aren't you!". Jackson scoffs before he reaches for my arm to pull me away, I apologise to a bothered looking Youngjae and reluctantly follow Jackson up onto the second floor. 

When we get up on the second floor, the mood is already busy. Its a hectic more booze fuelled and energetic, there is more dancing and passionate. The strobe lights flash across the dark space, its dark but I can still just about make all things out. I am I able to make out from across the floor, Kunpimook who is in a hoodie trying to keep himself hidden away. I only know its him as a few of my undercover team point him out.

Kunpimook is with a strange woman she looks familiar but I can't place her, she's cute and petit. She has short blonde hair and a tight bandage dress, she looks sexy and she is dancing provocatively with the Kunpimook. Jinyoung asks if I'm ready and we both carefully try and head through the crowd to Kunpimook and his mysterious girl. However Jackson suddenly stops, he looks back down to his wrist which is being held by the Yien .

"Yien?" I ask confused, when Yien who looks slightly drunk and asks what is going on between the two of us. Shit. Of all the times he could do this now is not it, Jackson impatiently snatches his hand away. "You are friggin ridiculous, you're making Youngjae wait for you twiddling his thumbs whilst you sort your shit out". I try and interrupt him and ask if we can do this later, as I try to turn and slip away Yien persists he grips onto my arm this time and gets louder. 

"Give up on him, if you're going to go around boning another guy in front of him" Yien's face is red, he looks angry and frustrated and I know why. I knew he loved Youngjae, as a friend and more than a friend and those conflicting emotions were possessing him. I try to free myself from his grip and plead with him, but he holds on Jackson is frustrated. Youngjae squeezes through the crowd and tries to interrupt, he looks colder, emotionally unattached and asks Yien not to bother.

Jackson becoming increasingly more aggitated with the situation, with Kunpimook in his eyeline he loses his patience. He leans in to Yien his tone full of aggression, he warns them that that what we're up to is none if their business which visibly irritates Youngjae who coldly dismisses Jinyoung. "Don't, I'm not any of your business, and I won't be a bother to you" he sulkily reveals. 

Fuck, I wanna free myself and just hug Youngjae but I can't do this right now and I can't tell him why we're up here. I tell him that I'll call him later to explain and free my hand from Yien, he looks disapproving and takes Youngjae's hand and pulls him away. I'm hurt watching them leave, worried about but the way things look I can't blame Youngjae.

I reluctantly let Youngjae leave but unfortunately Kunpimook and the lady friend having spotted the commotion and Jackson makes her way through the crowds with Kunpimook in front. Jackson fights through the crowds rushing after the pair, I follow but they separate so I go after Kunpimook and he chases for the strange woman. 

The chase goes through the club down into the streets, its freezing cold outside and dark and I chase after the younger. I call after him hoping that Kunpimook out onto the street when he goes down the alleyway I speed up ahead feeling a pulse of energy burst through me and I speed past Kunpimook and block his path. I quickly grab his shoulder and force him to stay still, he slowly recognises me. "Father Jinyoung?", I hold him still and tell him to stay still and tell him that I'm here to take him home.

He looks smaller and skinnier than I remembered, his skin is tanned and his normally bright stripe found in his hair is no longer there. He looks sickly, looking down at his neck I can see the familiar teeth marks. My stomach lurches and I realise what the younger has been up to recently,he must be feeling lethargic or at least thats what I've been told by pumps. Blood being drained from the body like that, Kunpimook looks like he's in great need of some rest and food, or maybe even more. The things he must have seen and had to do, mentally this would have taken its toll.

Kunpimook is sweaty and panting he panics and cries scared of the consequences, I assure him that I'm here to protect him. He finally calms down a little, his breath is calmer but the look in his eyes is still panicked. When we head to a squad car waiting for her, Jackson is already there with the young girl he chased and cuffed in the cop car. Kunpimook is visibly upset but I resssure him to be calm, and we head to the police station.

After a couple of hours things are a little less hectic, Lee Minyoung is questioned and eventually let go. She reluctantly leaves without Kunpimook, she's suspicious and Jackson has his eye on her he seems determined to get her back at a later date. It seems that they have a history which explains Minyoung not sticking around for a dejected Kunpimook. 

However his feelings of rejection don't last that long as eventually Kunpimook and Ersa are reunited at the church, its a warm and joyous occasion. Kunpimook missed his mother, he's not the frustrated and annoyed teen who left her instead he's a tearful child. He has obviously missed his mother, he apologises profusely and hugs his tearful mother 

Ersa is grateful to me and thanks me, she worries however about things returning to the way they were before. I reassure her to take things slowly and not to out pressure, she has her son back they shoukd talk and figure out a medium to agree on. Still concerned Ersa asks if maybe I can help and mediate in the future, I pause briefly awkward unsure how to answer.

Before I can think of an excuse a knock on the door cuts through the room, I turn to see stood at the doorway is Choi Youngjae. "Oh good Youngjae, you're here thank you for coming in this late but those books need looking over", I pluck an excuse from my ass. Ersa understanding the cue excuses herself and leaves with Kunpimook once more. 

Youngjae stands in the doorway, he looks down at his shoes meekly. I wonder what he's doing here, after what had happened earlier I thought it would be much harder to get him to talk to me again. However he approaches me and wordlessly hugs me before wrapping his arms around my shoulders, its really surprising. I feel the warmth of his body on mine, without thinking I reach for his waist and pull him closer to me.

"I'm such a freakin idiot", he says with a groan. I watch him closely with concern, suddenly he leans his head on the crook of my neck. I feel his breath on my neck, I watch and wait for him to speak, he kisses me lightly down my neck. I feel a fluttering in my stomach, the warm feeling I get when kissed by my younger returns.

I don't care why this is happening, I won't and don't question it and so I accept his warm embrace and his soft kisses down my neck. He suddenly sighs and explains that at the club nearby he heard through the rumour mill at club nearby about Kunpimook being found. I would have assumed that he would have been mad for my secrecy but instead he pulls away and cups my face, his face close to mine our noses touch. I can spell the alcohol from him, I can tell he's a little more forward with me probably due to that. His beautiful eyes search mine before he looks down looking embarrassed. 

"I thought you were with that guy, that he was jealous and maybe you had lead him on, but he's a cop?". I nod to confirm and explain the situation fully to him about Jackson being a cop I was helping. He nods his head and the look on his face, for the first time in a while he looks to fully trust me. My heart flutters happily to see the turn around in my sweet Choi Youngjae. "I'm such a freaking idiot, what the fuck!" Youngjae cutely berates himself.

Youngjae apologises once more, so I wrap my arms around him and hug him close and tightly overwhelmed and happy. I whisper and tell him he's my idiot and send a flurry of kisses down his neck, to which he chuckles in response and pulls me closer into a hug. He continues explaining his logic, "I dunno one minute you were with me making these promises and the next you're leaving with him". He pulls away from me feeling embarrassed, I follow him taking his hand.

I admit my jealousy seeing he and Yien together , a sheepish grin spreads across his cute face, his cheeks flush up. He admits sheepishly that it makes him happy, Youngjae says knowing that i'm jealous means that I desire him. I reach for his waist and pull closer, I tell him he's desired by me and always will be. I stroke his face and move hair from his face and kiss his forehead lightly. Youngjae grips on my arms then I lean in to kiss him on the lips.

The kiss starts off slowly and gently, I cup his face and pull him closer to me. I wrap my arms around his waist and I separate his soft lips with mine,and slip my tongue inside of his. I wrestle my tongue with his and feel his hands slide up my shirt I feel him on my warm flesh. I want him so bad, I know where this is going and I want it to keep going, he undoes the buttons of my shirt. 

I wanted to kiss him like this more and more in the future,he was really the best kisser I had ever had. He was strong and gentle and even though I instigated things between us, he always took the control back from me. He didn't force it but instead he did it ever so sweetly and carefully and I never took issue with it. As long as I received his kisses I never had anything to worry about.

Youngjae directs me over to the wall nearby, the kiss becomes more heated and I feel warm body pressed onto me onto mine. The steamy passionate kiss continues and Youngjae unbuttons my shirt fully. I feel his hands delicately trace my chest and slide down the waistband of my trousers and even down my boxers. My hips buck towards him, he's never this forward with me, but he must think he needs to make up with me, that and he has a bit of dutch courage.

I don't care to ask him as he begins to stroke the length of my dick, I moan through our kiss. He continues to stroke when he pulls away he keeps my eye contact. "God you're so beautiful" Youngjae says he looks turned on, it bolsters my ego. I love when he looks at me like that. The desire in his eyes is a turn on, he leans his head on my shoulder his breath tickling my neck. He continues to stroke my dick more and more, I find myself getting harder and harder. I moan breathing heavily, his smell and his taste. I have to hold back and to work hard with my self control, I would never lose control with him. 

Youngjae and I are in a passionate clinch, we kiss each other passionately when suddenly we are interrupted. Ersa rushes into the house of mine, her sentence is cut short as she takes in what is going on. She watches us wordlessly her eyes full of shock, I stay still cause if I move I could end up showing more than I need to, instead staring past Youngjae to Ersa unable to think of anything to say, my heart beating out of its chest. Shit, I've been caught what the heck am I supposed to do. "You're this kind of man?" she speaks bitterly and disappointed. She rushes out without saying another word.

I turn to Youngjae who looks apologetic, I grab his face, keeping his eye contact and I reassure him that everything will be fine. I keep locked on his beautiful chocolate eyes, being like this I feel my heart race quickly. Youngjae's eyes stay on me, they still look so uncertain. So I lean in to kiss Youngjae on the lips, just to reassure him but I feel his hands at my chest as he pushes me away.

Youngjae's face crumples, I can see the guilt and conflict written all over his face. He tells me to chase after Ersa, that I should try and explain to her, he looks overwhelmed by it all. He's concerned about this all and I am too, but me chasing after her will do nothing. It will solve nothing, I'm still going to be leaving the church. At the sound of those words Youngjae's shoulders slump, I reach for his hand and pull him closer and I tell him that I would rather not waste time making excuses with Ersa and that I would rather just be with him here.

His eyes search mine, before he cups my face and he pulls me closer into a kiss. His kisses serve as a comfort for me, I pull my arms around his shoulders to hug him closer and tighter. I had just got caught like this, but instead of panicking I continued to kiss my lover whose hands slide back into my pants. He kisses me and strokes my dick, our closeness right, he didn't know what a real comfort he was for me.

Half an hour later I lay in bed in the younger's arms, my head resting on his pale soft shoulders. Youngjae strokes through my hair with one hand, whilst his other hand holds mine. On his wrist are marks, marks that I had left after briefly losing control. His scent and his taste had worked as a haze and I had gotten lost in it and like our first time together I briefly lost control.

My young lover however was not as scared as he should have been, not realising the gravity of the situation I'm sure he mistook it for kink. As he groaned through the pain he continued to thrust into me, at some point he yelled out in pain and bought me out of my haze.There was a brief pause before we continued on, and now we lie here in the dark together.

"Aren't you scared?" he asks concerned. I want to answer honestly and speak the truth, but instead I don't, I rub the younger's back reassuringly. I tell him I'm fine with a smile on my face and hope in some way it can actually be true and it won't be a lie I had never been so uncertain in my life.

The next day I decide to move quickly and meet with the archbishop, he's stunned to see me this early in the morning. I'm a bundle of nerves however I have to push through and confess to him. The archbishop was a good man, very open minded as far as Catholicism was concerned. Even in his late seventies he held newer attitudes and views towards religion and the world. 

Despite my young age he had watched me and mentored me and saw me grow as a priest. He had helped me become a priest, when in search of a new priest for the church he had advocated me and trusted me. I hated letting him down like this, however I had to do this and I had to be completely honest despite the consequences.

I'm a bundle of nerves but eventually I do it, I tell him that I would no longer be a priest and explained that I had been thinking about it for so long and am set on the decision. Needless to say he's taken, when he asks why I am leaving, I explain that my heart hasn't been in my job as it should be. He doesn't seem to believe me completely and asks what else I'm hiding, unlike anyone I knew he was someone who could read me very well.

So I very reluctantly admit the truth, about Youngjae and Ersa seeing me last night. Though I am met with disapproval, its not because of the aspect of me falling for another man. He already knew, he knew that I was like that and he never judged me. I had been so determined to become a priest, I had the best intentions and so he had helped me.

However seeing me like this, and my lack of passion for the job and my feelings for Youngjae complicate things. The archbishop allows me to leave, he is assures me he will find a man to replace me soon. He will send a priest from another church in the interim of finding a permanent priest,he is so understanding of me and the situation that it completely unnerves me. I feel ashamed, but he doesn't lecture me to feel bad, instead he asks me to take of myself and for now to keep a low profile.

When I return to the church and Daewon. He's there working hard s usual, he was definitely the person who kept the church running behind the scenes. He loved the church and took such care of it, I worried a lot about telling him the truth. However he doesn't judge me either, instead like the big brother I had grown to see him as, he hugs me. He tells me that he understands and that I shouldn't feel ashamed. I thank him and head off, my head is completely fuzzy and confused trying to plan my next move.

As I pack up, I make sure to empty the freezer downstairs in the basement. I empty and clean the fridge and make effort to get rid of the small packages. I needed these but I had to work my will power in the midst of finding myself a permanent place to stay. No one can discover this part of me, so I dump what I can in my sink and clean up after. I clean the whole apartment wiping away traces of the other secret that I had sheltered that long. I go through the house wiping the surfaces, making sure to leave the place the way I found it. 

As I finish packing my books which take up more room than any of my other belongings, i receive a call from my beloved one. He rarely did it,but Youngjae was the first to instigate contact. He calls me to check up on me, he is on break during his school day and wanted to make sure I was around. Cute. Its cute that he is worried, despite my attempts to reassure him others, Youngjae seemed to be worried about me. 

Part of me is ecstatic that hes even worried, for him to worry means he cared and I craved it, him caring for me. "Within the hour I'll be heading off to my new home, but first i have to wait for my ride", he asks who from and I inform him its from the friend who is allowing me to stay over. Speaking honestly I only had one friend outside of the church circle and fortunately he had let me stay with him. 

I reassure Youngjae that I'm fine, but explains for a few days while I sort things out I won't see him for a while. He seems kind of disappointed which honestly warms my heart, but he slowly understands that I will be busy trying to set myself up. "I'll have to keep my busy till we next meet" Youngjae pouts through the phone,I chuckle fondly ans tell him that can't wait to see him and that seems to mollify him a little. I make it imperative to get myself sorted out, to find a job and live independently.

However in the meantime Jackson allows me stay but after a month I must get a job and pay my way. He picks me up from the church right on time in his sleek sports car, dressed up to the nines but still practically for his job. He is friendly and inviting and so his gorgeous feline looking girlfriend Jia who doesn't seem to even be uncomfortable at the stranger being in her apartment. "Any friend of Jackson's is a friend of mine",she says with a bright smile on her face and I can sense that its genuine. My first night they put a lot of effort into making sure i am comfortable and accommodated. I am thankful for it and feel relief that my leap out into the world out of the church isn't so cold.

My first night there is spent getting to know the pair, or rather the two cops scoop information from me. Watching he and Jia makes me envious, I have to work hard to get that to be someone Youngjae can rely on. The next day I spend on my job search determined to find a job and get on my feet, but as I rush around Seoul looking for anything I can't shake the feeling that something or someone is following me.


	10. Progress

" A firm belief in the reliability, truth or ability of someone or something". That was the definition of trust, I had looked it up online just for reference. I had to make sure whether or not I really had it. I pressed a button on my phone, and openly asked the question because I really wasn't sure. 

Asking Yien would have only meant I received the Spanish Inquisition in return, he was far too nosy and knew how to pull out things from me that I didn't want to say. I didn't want to vocalise my uncertainty, because to be honest everything felt uncertain. "Not able to be relied on; not known on definite", I knew that's how I felt.

Even though Park Jinyoung had come through with his promises, he had found the young boy and saved him from the clutches of a crime lord. It was intense, Jinyoung was still mad that this dangerous person was still lurking around. He never elaborated on what kind of man this JB person was, he only said he was dangerous and warned me to no longer visit the mansion, advice I reluctantly followed.

However I couldn't honestly say that I trusted Park Jinyoung, I still felt shaky on that. I didn't feel like he was open with me. Apart from being a gorgeous former priest from Jinhae, I knew nothing of him. Suddenly his humour, intelligence and looks were not enough, well they were on a day to day basis. Whenever I saw his beautiful face my heart fluttered, he could always easily make me laugh and also taught me a lot. We were getting closer, but it was at an annoying snails pace.

"I like this mole" I hear Jinyoung's voice muffled. Laying down on my bed and simply in a tank top and pair of plain navy blue boxers, I can feel the breathe of my lover on the inner side of my thighs. I smile bemused and watch the ceiling still aware of how close Jinyoung is to my erogenous zone, especially as he blows on my inner thigh. "Its cute, Choi Youngjae, you have many moles" he observes, "I never took much notice" I reply honestly. Truthfully I never had, but Jinyoung seemed quite interested in the small things.

"Does he like it?" Jinyoung asks suddenly. I don't know what he means until he further elaborates, "that other guy..." he is unable to muffle his jealousy. So I sit up briefly and watch him, I reach over to stroke through his raven locks. "Does it matter if he does?".

I hadn't ended things with Jaebum, I was still seeing him and I was being open about it. I wasn't sleeping with him but that was my prerogative, I could sleep with him and Jinyoung because I was not exclusive to anyone. Jinyoung doesn't protest or say much else, instead he kisses the inside of my thighs.

Goosebumps prick up as he gets closer and closer to my cock, I watch on with baited breath as he delivers slow and delicate kisses. Professional tease Jinyoung moves closer as he moves close enough, he reaches over to my crotch as he rubs and caresses until there's a situation in my pants that I can no longer avoid. Teased and massaged, my cock receives tender loving care as Jinyoung slips his hand under the waist band of my boxers. 

A moan escapes my lips indicating how pleasurable I was finding this all. Jinyoung begins to pump my length in his fist, completely silent giving absolutely nothing away. My lips curl up excited at the prospect of where this is all leading. We had only slept together a few times at this point, saying I wanted Jinyoung would be understatement, well at least in this moment it felt like I needed him. I needed to fuck him senseless, but I knew he enjoyed foreplay so I would let him do this. 

"The flowers, the flowers, yes, yes, they have bloomed.The flowers, the flowers, yes, yes, they have bloomed"

My phone rings out breaking the silence of the room, Jinyoung pauses "Aren't you going to answer?" he asks with curious eyes. Hearing the familiar ringtone which I set, I grimace. Knowing who it is, I really don't want to bother myself and what Jinyoung is doing for me right now is more important. Well my nether region is telling me that nothing else could be more important. "Voicemail was created for times like this" I tell my lover before leaning down to kiss him gently on his rounded lips.

I make sure to make it worth it, biting onto his sweet lips the way he likes. I didn't want him to ask questions about the call, so I kiss him passionately. My hands grip his arms and pull him closer, whilst slipping my tongue past his lips and into his mouth. I was being more forward than usual, but I needed to keep it up and eventually my phones stops ringing. I guess he's given up, I shortly think before returning to the heavy petting. 

After a while Jinyoung pulls away and heads back to the foreplay, back down in between my legs. Jinyoung peeks up at me from between my thighs, past his fluffy black hair I see wrinkles form at the corner of his eyes. "If I told you I was jealous, would you tell me his name at least?", he asks suddenly leaning his chin on my stomach. He ignores the obvious hard on poking his stomach and watches and waits for me to speak.

"Is he good looking?" asks his unable to hide the envy, his eyes search mine. "Tall and handsome, well built and out of my league", I answer, pulling absolutely no punches back. There was no use in lying to him, plus admittedly I enjoyed swing him looking so jealous. He pouts his lips and flutters his lashes prettily, "at least gimme a letter from his name, I'm dying of curiousity!" he pleads. 

"A..." I relent and give out the most vague letter, but it doesn't seem to satisfy Jinyoung. "A??" he scrunches his face dissatisfied, "Hey I already know everything, so why are you hiding. Its written all over your face that you like me" he instantaneously breaks out into song. His voice milky, smooth and sweet to my ears. "What was that?" I tease his impromptu singing. He chuckles in response and Jinyoung climbs up onto me, he leans his head on my shoulders and wraps his arms around my waist, my hard on still begging for his attention. Why had he done this?

"The flowers, the flowers, yes, yes, they have bloomed.The flowers, the flowers, yes, yes, they have bloomed"

Shit. My ringtone plays out again, he's being persistent. I really didn't need this right now,I was too preoccupied with my desire to nut, in something or someone. "Youngjaeah, answer. I already know about your other lover!", Jinyoung comments with a scowl laced with bitterness and jealousy. I roll my eyes at him, the ringtone persists so I lean over to answer call. "Yes hyung" I answer blandly with mono tone, but Jinyoung watches me close with suspicious eyes. "Yayyy dongsaeng you answered!" my older brother over reacts. " Yeah yeah, what do you want?"I ask impatiently.

Jinyoung seemingly relaxes leaning back onto my chest stomach, he must have assumed that I wouldn't speak to his competition like this. He watches on as I try and hurry on this conversation, his hands back to stroking my cock. "WOOW my little brother is becoming a chic Seoul City man, how cool!" he teases. I sigh losing patience, "call me in a year brother" I abruptly end my call hanging up and switching off the phone completely. 

"Wasn't that rude?" Jinyoung mutters disapprovingly, I simply shrug and lean down to kiss him. Jinyoung receives the kiss, but as I pull away the look on his face, it still reads of disapproval. " Don't you talk to your family anymore?" Jinyoung asks the question I had been hoping to avoid. "Talk to their sinner of a son? No. Until I am cured then we don't speak" I spit the words coldly. I sulk not wanting to talk about it and thankfully Jinyoung doesn't prod or question further. 

Despite my attempts to buck my erect member onto the elder, he shows no reaction and stays still. I note in the back of my head that I wouldn't be getting to get any tonight, Jinyoung was in a cuddly mood not that I minded much." I don't know, that song was stuck in my head today. They kept playing it at work", his hand now travels slowly under my tank top and upwards to my bare flesh.

Jinyoung had a new job, he was no longer serving the lord, instead he was serving customers at a restaurant nearby. He liked the work and it kept him busy, and now he was able to pay his way which seemed to relieve him. He didn't like to put people out and rely on them, and so he had spent a week solidly looking for jobs, which meant we didn't get to see each other for a while.

"Youngjae-ah, are you my boyfriend?" he ask breaking our comfortable silence, the question cuts through the air and boomerangs down to my throat. I am struck and unable to speak, I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I was watching my words. Despite my awkward demeanour and extended pause Jinyoung chuckles, his hiccup.

"Calm your heart down Mr. Choi! Saying no shouldn't mean you go into cardiac failure", Jinyoung teases my current heart rate. He sits up and straddles me, he watches me and smiles humorously pretending to pump at my chest. Unable to resist I laugh and push the elder away playfully, "get off me loser!". Jinyoung smiles and stays over me straddling me, he squeezes me between his thighs causing a sharp pain in my sides.

I groan slightly in pain and Jinyoung promptly climbs off of me and is by my side. " Youngjae-ah, are you okay?" he hovers over me, he looms completely perturbed. Through my pain I smile to reassure him, "Hyung I'm fine", despite his small frame Jinyoung had a might of strength that he seemed to forget. "Sorry, I got carried away" he apologises and strokes my sides, I feel sore and know its going to leave a pretty big bruise tomorrow.

Here we go again, that look. Its the look that he gets every now and then, we weren't particularly rough playing together, but every now and then I would suffer a bruise. Nothing life risking, but he would always get that guilty look on his face, he pouts like a guilty puppy. It was like he was afraid he was going to break me, like I was something fragile he needed to take care of. I reach sit up and lean to peck Jinyoung on lips, his lips pucker in response. 

"Hyung tell me a story" I say as I pull away, Jinyoung raises his eyebrow suspiciously but I make sure to stroke his face. "Make it good" I jest and smile encouragingly. I really wanted to move the conversation on and plus I didn't want Jinyoung to fall asleep with a guilty conscience. I lie down onto the bed and pat next to me, Jinyoung smiles and lies down next to me, he pillows my arm and wraps his arms around my waist pulling me closer. "Okay then start" I say while wrapping my arms around his body, I rub soft circles into his back.

"What story? " he hums into my chest, his hands softly stroking my back. "What story?" he repeats once again, after a few more seconds thinking over, Jinyoung starts telling his story. "Did you know that I spent my 20th birthday abroad?, it was in a village somewhere in Gabarone", he speaks softly surprising me completely. " Wow" I think to myself, he had been to Botswana, again looms the feeling I really knew nothing about him. 

I listen intently as he describes a two year missionary service, which was more eventful than helping the ailing in the impoverished nation. "Have you ever met a witch doctor Youngjae?" Jinyoung asks rhetorically with a chuckle, "no hyung, now that you mention it" I tease him. "Trust me you probably won't want to, or maybe you would he was good looking now that I recall". 

Jinyoung regails a story of conflict between the village's local witch doctor and himself, his anecdotes are full of humorous twists and turns and has me laughing out loud. He has so many that he goes on late into the night, till eventually neither of has enough energy to stay awake and I am pretty sure I fall asleep midway through his story telling.

When I wake the next morning, wiping the sleep from my eyes I see that my bed is empty, all traces of Park Jinyoung had disappeared. Disappointed I sigh, he fit so well in my arms and moulded to me, he had left feeling temporarily empty right now. I try to shake off my sleepiness and start up my day. I decide to take a shower force myself out of bed, but first I have to take care of the hard on that the elder had left me with. I let the water wash down over me, its cool and the cruel slap I needed to wake me up and I make the promise that the next I see Jinyoung I would have sex with him.

I wouldn't be teased by him any longer, so I make the mental note to seduce the elder. For now I work out the kink, before eventually really start up and get dressed, today was a day off from work and school for me and I was going to spend it completely lazing about. 

Midway into my morning of leisure I receive a call from Jaebum, "wow! You're awake at this time?" he teases. I smile getting the warm feeling in my stomach which I normally did when speaking to him, "are you busy?" he casually queries. "Would you consider this Bleach marathon being busy?", I quip.  
"I'll pick you up in twenty minutes",he says very coolly and hangs up giving me no chance to accept or decline. I chuckle to myself and get up to go ahead, I get dressed and ready for whatever Jaebum has planned for us.

Half an hour later surprisingly we were shopping, in a nearby popular clothing boutique. It was far out if my price range but while flicking through clothing Jaebum barely blinks at the price tags."Did you com into some money? hyung these clothes cost an arm and a leg", I whisper shout my complaint to the elder. "I happen to have arm and two legs in my wallet" Jaebum quips before he turns to filing through and picking a few outfits, he pulls put the clothes and hands them over to me.

Jaebum seems in fairly good spirits, the last few time we had met he had seemed a little bit shaky, but today he was back to being the bulldozer I had met." Get dressed Doll Youngjae" he orders me nonchalantly, but I'm not comfortable with it. "Why hyung?" I ask, I don't want him to buy me anything, did he think he was a sugar daddy or something?

"Cause I want to see your cute little ass in tight pants", Jaebum announces in the room full of somewhat taken aback shoppers. Embarrassed I lightly push Jaebum, but he reaches for my arm and pulls me closer, his hand slides to my ass. " Maybe one day Youngjae will you let me in?" he playfully inquires giving me a squeeze publicly without shame. A blush creeps up my neck slowly, I push Jaebum away and head into the changing rooms to escape the judging eyes of the other shoppers.

Spinning around slowly I pose for Jaebum, despite my embarrassment I would play along with this and not show I was fazed. I knew what Jaebum was up to, he enjoyed trying to make me squirm and show his control. Here he was, the cool elder watching as the shy younger models for his benefit, he must feel good right now. Playing along, I twirl around and act out a mini fashion show. "Are you enjoying this Choi Youngjae?", Jaebum teases me, I carefully approach him as he is sat on a sofa opposite the dressing room. His eyes don't leave me his eyes seem to eat me up, I can't quite tell what he's thinking but I get the feeling its good.

"Are you enjoying this Im Jaebum?" I counter teasing him, "holy fuck, when will you let me show you true enjoyment?" he hotly breathes, his eyes full of lust. Despite hinting at his growing desire to sleep with me, I had never gave into his many several attempts. I didn't want to make things more complicated, normally I do not jump into bed with strangers, well apart from Park Jinyoung. I usually dated for a while, I would meet with a person and we would get to know each other slowly and work our way to sex.

I was holding out on Jaebum admittedly, partly due to my normal waiting period, also because of my situation with Jinyoung. I wasn't quite sure if I was the type who could sleep with two people at the same time, I was normally monogamous but here I was casually dating two gorgeous guys way out of my league. Even though I was very attracted to Jaebum a part of me wanted him to wait, I wanted him to be less cocky and expecting. If we slept together, I would make sure to catch him off guard.

"Come out with me tonight" Jaebum comments, he reaches for my hand and pulls me closer. "Instead of watching anime marathons and fapping over hentai, come out with me. In that outfit" Jaebum watches me closely waiting for my response and I get the feeling he's not really going to give up. "Fapping sounds good though" I jest much to Jaebum's amusement, "I could assist you with that" he counters with a mischievous and toothy grin. "Just come with your hyung, we'll drink and dance and I'll introduce you to friends" he says reaching over to stroke my face.

How could I say no? Even though I had told Jinyoung I would avoid the Mansion, its not like I promised him or anything. Not that I was desperate to party tonight, the offer of meeting Jaebum's friends was too intriguing to pass up. What kind of people did he hang out with? Were they tall fit, handsome and as cool as he was. I would have bought Yien with, knowing that a room full of dominant tops would be the heaven he had always wished for. However Yien was out of town back in Mokpo, seeing one of his old sugar daddies.

Yien seemed to having fun back in our home town, his parents were back in the United States so for him the trip was more about old friends and flames. Despite his denial it was also his way of avoiding the shitty love triangle he seems caught up in. "By the way, your hot adopted brother keeps asking about you",Yien informs me through a quick call. Yien had always been sweet on Jinwoon, but growing up Jinwoon had always been the apple of everyone's eyes. He was a self made business man, tall, handsome and a genuinely good guy, right now to my parents he was the anti me.

The anti sinner, so warm and kind man who had not turned his back on me and continued to reach out to me. However I was still struggling, I was bitter that he was the only one and so I was continuing my avoidance of him. "Whatever" I mutter skipping past the topic, "you should come back, you would be surprised to see how much things have changed, Yien states mysteriously. It had been nearly a year since I had been back home, the experience had been draining and to be honest I didn't have the desire to return back.

"Get back soon hyung", I tell Yien before abruptly ending, I didn't want to ruin my mood for tonight. I focus on getting ready and dressed, as I do I receive a call from one of my many lovers. By many I mean two and by lovers I mean the person I have actually slept with, Park Jinyoung. "Hello pretty lips!" Jinyoung fondly greets me, a smile creeps its way onto my lips at the sound of his voice.It was the first time talking to him today, I was trying not to be to intense and cling onto him. Busy with Jaebum I didn't have the opportunity to falter and call him while he was occupied with work today.

"Have you been busy today?" he asks, we have a brief catch up and I expectantly wait for him to ask me meet with him. However I am left disappointed as it doesn't happen, despite my plans with Jaebum I probably would have cancelled it all just to see him. I was owed a fucking nut, "can I see you tonight?", I ask desperate to see the elder. "Ah... I'm sorry Youngjae, I would love to see your cute little face. But I'm helping out Jackson hyung tonight and suddenly jealousy takes me over. "Oh fine, have a good night then. I have to go", I pettily hang up.

Fuelled by jealousy I head off out to meet Jaebum, he picks me up outside of the apartment. He steps out of the back of a flashy black sports car, as soon as I see him I feel completely under dressed. He was dressed in a smart black dress up shirt, a cool leather jacket with spikes and some figure hugging skinny jeans. He finishes off his look with black suede pumps, he looks breath taking. In comparison I looked average, clothed in a pair of skinny blue jeans a beige sweater which is large fits on me baggily. I finish the look off with tatty black trainers.

Jaebum peeks at me through his raven bangs, I blush happy to be the object of his desire. He grins and reaches for my hand, "come one Youngjae, the night is still young" he pulls me closer. He turns and pushes me onto the side of car, he quickly presses his body onto mine. Larger and stronger than me his weight does not allow me much movement, so I don't even bother squirming. I feel heat of the car as Jaebum continues to push himself on me, cupping my face he leans in to kiss me. He's a little bit more straightforward than he usually was, but the bitter taste of liquor indicates as to why.

Maybe he had been predrinking before the party and was a little bit drunk. With his inhibitions lost he seems a little rough in the way he was touching me, he slips his tongue in my mouth. He's so fervent in it all, his lips crushing mine, he really allows me no time to breathe. I try and push him away but he keeps his grip on me and man handles me a little. Eventually he pulls away from me, I gather what I can to my lungs and frustrated I smack his chest. However the sexy unapologetic grin on Jaebum's face leaves me annoyed only briefly.

"Life's for living, tonight Choi Youngjae; we'll gain life" Jaebum says with certainty in his eyes. He reaches for my hand and pulls me into the back seat of his car, in the front is a petit and buxom blonde girl. "This is my friend Lee Minyoung, Minyoung this is Youngjae" Jaebum casually introduces us. Minyoung who is sat at the turns to back seat and carefully scans me over before smiling brightly. "Wow, he's cute! A little out of your league Jaebumie". A blush creeps on my face from the sudden approval, "just a little?" counters playfully to which Minyoung laughs before turning to start up the car and drive us away.

After a short car journey it becomes apparent that Jaebum and Minyoung are quite close, in fact they lived together. They were old friends who had met in America and had stuck close to one another, there seemed to be more than just friendship between the two. I knew Jaebum was open as far as sexuality, whether man or woman Jaebum was attracted without prejudice. I wasn't too concerned though, with his hands firmly and possessively at my thighs, it didn't seem that Jaebum was interested in anyone but I in that moment. 

Through the duration of the night Jaebum and I remain close to one another, he introduces me to friend after friend which seems go be all the attendees of the club. He does his diligence and makes sure I am socialised with several of his friends. Unlike my expectations Jaebum's friends are nit cold and chic like him, not all of them. Most of them are pretty young looking wild ones who seem hyper and excited, some I suspect to be more than just drunk.

The vibe downstairs is almost a little chaotic, like all of Seoul is invited or something. There's barely any room for movement, especially as the dancing gets wilder and more hectic. I get the feeling its not just Jaebum's friends on something, but it seems like ever is infected. Its not long before Jaebum pulls me up into one of the mansion's bedrooms. I had never been up the golden and red staircase or ever imagined that I would ever need to be, but the wild party downstairs was losing its spark on me.

So I follow the elder, admittedly I was a little more willing to follow him with the few drinks inside of me, loose of my inhibitions I follow Jaebum to the second floor and that it entailed. Jaebum pulls me into the room, its a grandiose bedroom, the walls are pretty plum colour that warms up the room. The decor is delicate and expensive, furniture that looks plucked from across the globe. With pieces of art even from across the world, from japan, the middle east, what looks like the mericas and Europe.

The owner of the building was known for beung wealthy and well travelled so the decor did nit surprise me. He was also quite smart as he marketed the bedrooms towards the legend of it all, it looked like a vampires lair. In the middle of the room is a kingsized bed, with its blush burgundy and red bed, duvet and pillow covers. It looks very sensual, as if it was calling for two people or more to mess around on.

"Who invites all those people?", Jaebum comments with a grin on his face, he leads me into the bedroom closing the door behind him. "It was getting too hot down there, you were starting to doze off my pretty", he pulls me by my waist and pushes me onto the bed behind me. Surprised at the force of which I had been dominated by, I bounce a little as the spring react to me. "I'll make you mine tonight Choi Youngjae, there's no escaping it tonight", he says with a somewhat detached look on his face. A chill travels down my spine, what does he mean by mine?

Something seems really off about his choice of words, and suddenly I feel my stomach churn a litrle. I could trust Jaebum couldn't I? He had never given me any reason not to. However without reassurances invitation Jaebum leans in to kiss me, he cups my face and crushes his lips on mine. Quick moving climbing up onto my lap, Jaebum straddles me trapping me in between his thighs, even though I had tried though he tastes. Instead of the give and take I was used to between the two of us, right now it felt like Jaebum was greedily taking all that he could.

"I'm not going anywhere, slow down", I'm desperate to plead to the out of control elder. However his tongue is forced in my mouth, I don't get the chance to. He seems so lost in his lust, he doesn't feel like he normally did and he doesn't smell as sweet. It was strange, he even tasted different from earlier, he was a little different more savoury than bitter before. I stop and hope he'll notice that he's powering this all, that i'm not even participating. 

He doesn't, in fact I make it easier for him to ravage me. He pins me down to the bed, and pulls away from my lips. Finally I draw air to my burning lungs,I pant catching my breathe but the elder barely takes notice. He kisses me down my manically not forgetting to leave small bite marks. I yelp out, it seemed the only person who was any good at biting was Jinyoung. Shit, why was in my head right now. Why was I in the middle of foreplay with one potential lover, thinking about my only lover.

Park Jinyoung, why were you here? Why am I thinking about your teasing and tantalising foreplay? About how he would let me breathe, let me participate, I had never been pinned down like this before. Jaebum holds my arms down in a vice like grip as he grinds into me, it feels like he's lost all sense of control. "Hyung" I try to call out in a strained voice, but nothing, I get no response, its like he's in a haze, he desperately licks and bites at my bare midriff. 

Swallowing down my dread, I resign myself to the thought I would be fucked, without my own particaption. It wasn't rape if I liked him right? No, I still felt swells of pleasure in my stomach, so maybe it was because this wasn't going the way I wanted. Suddenly and thankfully the door opens, in the corner of my eye I catch a glimpse of straightfaced and unfazed Lee Junho. "Jaebum" he calls out simply and just like that Jaebum snaps his head up. "What?" the elder on top of me snaps at his friend, however he has no reaction at all. He is unfazed by the situation he walked into, my state of undress, he is deadpan and asks to talk Jaebum.

"It can't wait" he complains trying to state the importance of the situation. Jaebum sighs heavily and he looks down me briefly then, he looks reluctant to leave me. He unwillingly gets up off of me, and my body relaxes, but qriests and sides are sore. I frown and watch as Jaebum stands up and wipes his sweaty brow. "Right now?" Jaebum questions the elder, Junho silently nods his head, the intense look in eyes it worries even me. Jaebum flaps his shirt fanning himsef down, "fine" he mutters frustrated. He turns his attention back to me, a sweet smile covers his face. " Youngjaeah, you'll stay for hyung right?".

Before I can reply Jaebum leans down and delivers the softest bit of affection he has shown me all night. He kisses me on my forehead, before turning to leave and follow Junho out of the room. As soon the door closes I am left alone in silence, trying to figure out what the hell just happened. I inspect the bite marks left across my body, I was going to be covered in bruises tomorrow. Shit! Fuckity fuck! What had I gotten myself into? Would I be able to continue with this submissive sex toy role when he returned?

"Oooh you're cute!" I jump startled at the mysterious female voice in my ear. I gasp and turn to see at my side a short, curvy, scantily dressed and big haired blonde with large anime eyes. The stealthy stranger grins widely and giggles,"are you a pump? They don't make pumps as cute as they make you!". "Pump? Whats a pump?" I don't get the chance to even to fully question when suddenly the strange woman, who seems drunk, faded, loopy, crazy or all of the above wraps her arms around my neck.

She hums loudly, "Fuck! You smell so cute patootie!" she exclaims sniffing at my neck. Surprised and confused I try and push her away, but her grip is strong. Don't get away patootie, I like you so much!" within seconds I am pushed back down onto the bed and yet another person has climbed on top of me. Despite her small frame she over powers me, with her big bossom in my face she whispers in my ear she continues to rave about smell and taste. 

The stranger continues the invasion of my personal space, she licks and not long after sucks at the raw skin on my neck. "You're so tasty patootie" she says giggling before she grips at my neck and takes a bite. I yell out at the top of my lungs, I squrim under her strong hold but the the petite stranger keeps her hold on me. The pain feels overwhelming, I only ever let Jinyoung bite me but this was different and seemed overwhelming going through my whole body.

I yell out and try and push her away but her grip is strong, its almost inhuman even. I hear an animalistic growling as she holds me down and continues to bite. I yell again until my throat feels raw, slowly it feels like any energy I had is being drained out of me. It feels like a few minutes have passed and my fight out of her grip becomes non existent, I have to much self hatred for being dominated like this again. Ths night was becoming really regretgul for me.

 

Through my hazy state, I hear a bang on the door. Following that are loud and aggressive shouts, "GET DOWN", I hear but the stranger stays on top of me. As she pull away with blood dripping down her face she looks manic and crazy. I peak back in the corner of my eye, I spot a group of what look like police officers dressed in their matching swat like uniforms, they are covered in what looks like bulletproof material and holding guns. Launching off of me and not heeding my warning, she leaps up at the cops like a wild animal. However the cops are quick moving, its not long before one of the big burly guys reaches over and grabs her and she quickly held down over the bed. 

The cops are taken aback by her struggle and it takes three of them to hold her down and keep her still. Moving quickly ahead one of the main cops takes out what looks like a syringe and I squint to see her injected with something which takes its effect in second and immobilises her. "Wow, she's a tough one" the burly guys remark as they climb off the petit stranger. " Get her out of here" one of the cops instructs, and following his instructions they take my bloodied attacker out. I feel at my painfully sore neck, "Youngjaeah, you're here" I hear a voice that I recognise.

Looking up I spot Jackson, Jackson Wang, my Park Jinyoung's room mate. I forgot he was a cop, but here he was dressed in the whole get up, "looks like we came just in time" he sayd with a friendly grin. Wasn't he supposed to be spending time with time with Jinyoung, I had come here out of jealous yet... It was an excuse? Jackson's eyes fill up with concern as he tugs at my stained bloody shirt. "Youngjaeah, we need to fix you up", Jackson says sternly with a look that doesn't give me much choice to argue against it.

Jackson forces me to go to the hospital and get stitched up, I'm given a few stitches much to my dismay. How was I going to hide this, a plaster on my neck keeps it in view. I might have to stick to turtle neck and make wiser decisions in the future, while in the hospital Jackson stays by my side. Like an older brother is by my side and lets me grip his arm as I get the stitches and once I am done he lectures me on visiting the club. I assure him that in the future I will avoid the club, a statement which brings him more joy than it should. We were strangers to each other after all.

While signing out for the day, I receive a text from Jaebum. 

I had to go. Get home safetly, J.

I pout sourly,he probably had no idea what shit he had left me to deal with. Admittedly I'm annoyed and would probably duck his calls for now . On our way out of the hospital Jackson continues to lecture me, he looks concerned and explains that there is a drug that is replicating the symptoms of being a vampire."Did I hear you right? Vampire?" I. Ask the eldrer baffled by his statement. 

"That girl is a harmless addict in comparison to others, it could have been much worse" Jackson carefully explains. Suddenly I feel a pang of guilt for not heeding Jinyoung's words. Curiousity gets to me and I ask about his supposed plans with Jinyoung. The thought of Jinyoung lying to me was still itching at me, but Jackson reveals Jinyoung is at home with Jia his girlfriend. "They were both helping me with a plan for this raid. 

"Idiot, I'm a fucking idiot" I groan, I had misunderstood Jinyoung and childishly rushed off to sleep with the person I wasn't ready to do that with. I panic and ask if Jackson could avoid telling Jinyoung about me being there, but the look on Jackson's face tells me thats too late. "Sorry dude, I gave that away over the headset earlier"  
Shit! I panic, Jinyoung would be pissed with me right now. "If you come with me and talk now, then its easier to apologise", Jackson suggests and I know hes right but I don't want to see Jinyoung mad at me ever. 

Half an hour later Jackson and I arrive at his and Jia's apartment. His girlfriend is gorgeous, breathtaking even, a sexy feline looking woman. She is friendly and happy, just watching her and Jackson interact, I realise there's no way Jinyoung could hold a candle to Jia. At least not in Jackson's eyes, he looked at her like she was a walking ray of sunshine. Idiot. I'm such a freaking idiot, seeing them together makes me feel like my jealousy was for absolutely nothing. 

After a few minutes of putting it off, eventually Jinyoung and I alone together in his bedroom and he is furious. Before I can speak he's already ranting "do you think I am overreacting?", I try to interject and apologise. "Do you think that I am some joker?! that what? That I was overreacting?" he complains. I try to close the gap between the two of us, and to apologise, but he steps away. "I don't want to put restrictions on you. I'm not your dad, but for fucksakes Youngjae look at you!!!", he looks less angry and now his eyes of concern.

His eyes glued on my wound, "hyung I'm sorry", I try to apologise but it doesn't seem to do much. Jinyoung still has that look in his eyes, the look he had last night, the puppy look. He feels responsible for this, so I close the space between us and reach for his face. "Hyung, I'm sorry", but Jinyoung pulls away from me, "despite my efforts to you're not opening up to me", Jinyoung says surprising me. "I'm trying to win your trust but its like you're waiting for me to fail", I open my mouth to deny it, but fail.

Was I waiting for him to fail? "I want this to work, I want to be with you Youngjae" those words make me feel a little weak at the knees. "Its gonna be a little hard to do that if you're mangled up", a grin unwittingly makes it way to my face. I knew he was serious, so without saying a word I wrap my arms around his shoulders. Jinyoung stays still and allows me to hold him, I feel his chin rest on the crook of my shoulder. I admit that I am struggling, I don't want to let him in and completely trust him and end up hurt. 

Jinyoung's hands slide down to my waist pulling me closer, although a little tender from earlier I press myself onto him. "I know I messed up. Telling you to leave through the window, I have never regretted anything more in my life". I feel at pang as the memory passes through my head, "I pushed you away, but I am not going to again. I won't be that weak again". How could he be so sure I wonder, the question had never been able to leave me.

"I won't leave you Choi Youngjae, not unless you want me to", I wrap my arms around his shoulders and pull him into me. I didn't. I knew I didn't, I didn't ever want him to leave me, but that kind of thinking scared me more than anything. I was scared to want him, cause I could lose him. "I will wait for you, I will earn that trust" Jinyoung whispers in my ear soothingly. He hugs me and I rest my sore neck in the crook of his head, as he strokes my hair I relax a little but not completely, but for now it felt like progress.


	11. Drainers

Jinyoung's POV 

I was trying to keep a low profile, as the young priest suddenly leaves the church for mysterious reasons I needed to. I didn't do much in my day, I had my set schedule which I rarely strayed from. I would wake up wake up early in the morning for work, I had managed to get a job as a waiter at a nearby restaurant owned by a Thai American foreigner Nichkhun Horvejkul and his beautiful wife Nina.

Nichkhun hyung was a tall handsome, bright and warm looking man, when he smiled he bought comfort. He was a self-made man who was making a fortune from his global cuisines restaurant, it was hugely popular in Seoul with two different locations. The food and the service was top notch and I could definitely understand its popularity. I had fortunately been able to get a job after Nichkhun had seen my desperate circumstances.

In fact he had somehow managed to wrangle my whole story from me, he felt it was important to know his staff properly and had seen through my cliff notes story version. Luckily he seemed to understand my circumstances and did not judge, if anything he just had a curiosity which I aimed to satisfy. So for my six hour shift, I juggled serving customers, cleaning tables, food preparation and story time with my docile boss.

Once I was finished with my shift at work I would head off home, I had not moved too far from the church so I was trying to avoid being spotted by members of the church. I suspect that Ersa had probably revealed what she had seen between Youngjae and I, she had been so shocked and mortified that I would not be surprised if she had.

I had not contacted Daewon or anyone affiliated to the church, I was still feeling too much guilt to even do that. I know that I had done the right thing, but the way things went down it hadn't been the way I had planned. I knew that the bishop had found a new and capable priest to replace me, and so in a way I was relieved that my departure hadn't meant too much of a disruption to the church. However my attempts to avoid my past are ceased during a walk back home. 

Whilst walking back to Jackson's place, I felt as if I was being followed, in fact I had being having that feeling for a while now. It had me feeling quite concerned, not for myself because obviously I could handle myself, but for Youngjae it had me perturbed. I had just hoped it was just me overreacting and being concerned about this JB guy, but every now and then I could hear footsteps following me. Whoever was following me was quick and stealthy enough to never get caught by me, it was starting to really freaking frustrate me.

After a long day at work, I had popped in the nearest supermarket to buy groceries. I had planned to prepare a delicious meal for Youngjae, he had a day off from work and school and so I would cook a meal with a recipe from Nichkhun hyung. I was doing my best to make sure that any experience Youngjae had with me from now on was good for him, because even though I was no longer a priest Youngjae hadn't committed to me.

I knew that he was still seeing the mystery guy, even after his attack at the mansion, he has been talked round by the other. It was annoying, cause never in my wildest dreams would I put the younger in that sort of position of danger. However in the competition for Youngjae's heart I felt like I was winning, but more and more he was seeing me. It translated to me as I was doing something right, I was getting more of Youngjae than the other. Youngjae was starting to let his guard down, to let me in more, and I felt like maybe in due time I could let him in.

 

As I walk back home and plan my romantic night with the younger, I am approached by a familiar person. "Father Jinyoung" they call out, I freeze feeling a discomfort at being addressed in that way. It had been a while and I had gotten used to simply being Park Jinyoung. Stood in front of me are two familiar faces, with Kunpimook is his friend Jimin. Both of their school uniform the pair awkwardly stand to watch me wordlessly, they must have just come off of school...

Kunpimook looks different weeks later, his face has filled out and he no longer looks so thin. His skin is tan again and his hair is now a jet black styled upwards, his uniform is styled uniquely with cute and interesting accessories. He looks much healthier like he had before he ran away from home and seeing him he quells any of the worries that I had for him since last seeing him.

Jimin a petit and fuller figured girl, with big round eyes, long black hair and bangs stands silently by Kunpimook's side holding his hand. She looks much the same I had seen her last time. She was a cute girl and like Kunpimook she has similar accessories on her uniform. In fact it looked like they were very adorable young couple, with how well they seemed to coordinate with each other.

"Kunpimook, Jimin. Hi?" surprised to see them I greet the young couple politely. ““We were just on our way home, and happened to see you, hello father Jinyoung" Jimin politely explains, whilst Kunpimook stands still and feel his intense glare. A small chill travel down my spine in response and wonder if his strange glare is due to words from his mother. "It seems that you're back at school, are you doing well?" I ask him, previously he had struggled at that school. 

It had been part of the reason he had been overwhelmed and ran away, I wondered if it wise to return to the old school again but he seemed quite alright. "He’s doing fine, some of the kids are still douche bags but it doesn't matter. He still had me" Jimin confidently confirms. Kunpimook is silent, in fact he looks pretty upset like he was about to break down into tears. I was concerned.

 

He said you were the one who saved him, thank you fathernim", Jimin politely thanks me. "Ahhh No problem, as long as you doing well", I continue to watch Kunpimook who is languishing in some sort of intense emotion. "Should you guys be out this late?” I ask genuinely curious and concerned, wouldn't their parents be concerned. "Kunpimook's mother is at work tonight, and my parents know that we're out already" Jimin informs me, seeing as Kunpimook is still silent.

"Are you okay?" l ask becoming increasingly more concerned about the younger. Jimin looks up to Kunpimook, she reaches for his hand and gives it a tight squeeze. "I'll uh...get us some drinks for home, you guys can...talk", Jimin says awkwardly excusing herself and heading back into the supermarket. Kunpimook slowly starts to tremble, his eyebrows knit in, and he sniffles and wipes freshly fallen tears. I watch him unsure what to do, would he be startled if I tried to make a move, so I don't. 

Concerned by the younger, I stay back and watch Kunpimook in the middle of some sort of internal conflict. Without warning the younger moves forward and wraps his arms around me pulling me into. Kunpimook pulls me close and starts to sob, “hyung, I'm sorry" he apologises profusely through his tears. I'm not quite sure what he meant, "thank you so much for saving you me".

I'm taken aback by the force of which he is hugging me, I drop my shopping to the floor and immediately wrap my arms around the younger. "Its okay" I do my best to comfort him, patting him on the back but the younger continues to cry. I wrack my brain desperate for an explanation, as the younger sobs on my shoulder. Completely confused by the sudden breakdown I stay silent and comfort the younger until he is finally quiet, calm and no longer crying.   
"Ugh, how embarrassing, here I am spotting all over you and your clothes", the younger whines.

The younger quickly pulls away and apologises, "I just meant to... Thank you, this is a little outrageous isn’t it?” I watch as Kunpimook blush of what I assume is embarrassment creeps on his face, but I wasn't one to judge. I was used to comforting the inconsolable in my line of work, this really felt like it was nothing. He didn't look to be in the best condition at the moment, "Kunpimook, are you alright". I grip his shoulder and ask how he's feeling, because with all of that had happened I wondered if anyone had actually asked that question with the intention of listening to a bite sized guilt free answer.

For those who had made life unbearable enough for the younger to run away like them, for those who weren't brave enough to reach out a hand to help him. They would need him to be okay just because to sooth any kind of lingering guilt. Kunpimook surely would feel wronged, no one would take blame or care enough to know how he felt. I understood his feelings all too well.

"Can I be myself?" he asks me, it’s a very vague statement and I watch him confused. "My mother, she told me about how she caught you and that man", Kunpimook reveals quite sheepishly. Frozen, I watch the younger in shock, had Ersa told everyone about this all. My mind goes spinning at the thought of being subject of the church rumour mill, and such a huge scandal. "She was really shocked" the younger admits.

"Daewon talked to my mother, he asked for her to not tell anyone else about it, “Kunpimook reveals much to my relief. "He told her that it would be better for the church, if this didn't become a big scandal", thankfully, he explains that his mother had begrudgingly agreed. "She was very shocked, and now even more so she's worried about me", he reveals in a fit of anger she warned him not fall into "such behaviour" and suddenly I understand him.

I couldn't I say that I knew what Kunpimook's sexuality was, he was still young and things could change. It seemed like maybe there was something going on between he and Jimin, it could be romantic or platonic. However I knew he wasn't straight, his relationship with that boy on the internet wasn't the only reason, but even as I served mass I often saw his gaze for a certain choir boy.

Sexuality wasn't black and white, and I am sure it was becoming more apparent to Kunpimook as he grew. Him being different to his other peers, must already be difficult, but his mother's attitudes towards who he was must make things unbearable for him. Wanting to please his family, stay faithful with his religion but also needing to be true to himself. The younger must be feeling overwhelmed with all his life’s conflicts right now.

"My mother is so old fashioned" Kunpimook awkwardly explains, "She doesn't think that... A person can be born that way". He tells me that doesn't agree with his mother's views towards me and he understood, "he must be a good man, the person you're with" Kunpimook states. A fond grin spreads across my face as I think of the boy whom I am soon to see. “Hyung?" Kunpimook says revealing the truth, I return my attention to Kunpimook and apologise.

"Ahhh, Kunpimook. It was good to see you, but hyung has to love you and leave you", although he looks disappointed he nods his head understanding. "I wish we could have talked a little longer", I knew Kunpimook had somethings he needed to get off his chest. He asks for my phone number and pleads with me, "I can't talk to just anyone. You're the only one who understands me", he promises that he won't tell his mother but that he would like for me to be a confidant.

I know it would be wise to reject his offer and that I should encourage the younger to speak to his mother. However realistically that was easier said than done, I understood people struggle to talk to their loved ones the most. I decide to agree, warning him that my life is busy. "Things are hectic especially as of recently", I can't always see him when he needs me. With a wide grin across his face, he agrees to my conditions and thanks me for my help and he rushes off to meet with Jimin who he admits is playing his beard.

Feeling the surprise wear off later, I rush off to the apartment concerned that Youngjae is already waiting for me. Jia and Jackson are out at work so I worry that he's waiting outside and so once alone I put a little bit more power in my stride and reach the apartment in no time but it was futile. Youngjae had already beat me there and was in fact waiting for me in the living room. However he wasn't alone and he was less focused on the waiting for me and was glued to the sofa. His attention was fixed to football match in front of him.

With him in the living room was Jackson who was by his side, he had changed from his all black work attire and was in a grey cotton tracksuit. Youngjae on the other hand looked cuter, he had a pair skinny jeans that high light his lovely thighs, whilst he wore a large baggy red jumper. He looks adorable, and I just wanna pick him up and hug him close, but he barely notices my presence as his eyes are glued on the football match on the TV screen

Jia meanwhile stood in the kitchen, unlike her normal jeans, tank top and leather jacket femme fetale look. Instead she looked softer and homelier in a pink print flower dress just below his thighs. They all look like a comfortable family picture, "HELLO everyone, kind man and woman who have taken me in cute boy who isn't my boyfriend", I say with pout. Jia giggles turning her attention to Jackson and Youngjae, "awww I think Jinyoungie is feeling a little left out" she teases.

It earns a high pitched and unsympathetic laugh from Jackson, "Youngjae why are you dating such a whiner?" he pokes fun while draping his arms over Youngjae. I pettily retaliate by flipping him the bird, and turning my attention to packing up the groceries I bought. With Jia cooking I won't need them today especially as she invites Youngjae and me to join which Jackson accepts on Youngjae's behalf.

Youngjae gets up and walks over to me, he smiles fondly and my heart flutters at the sight of his face. "Pretty boy hyung, you're here!" he greets me properly giving me a kiss on the lips, it’s a soft and welcoming kiss which he lingers in slightly. Shit. Choi Youngjae how do you still do this to me? I could never get sick of him I think to myself, before wrapping my arms around his shoulders back. He pulls from the kiss and he watches me and giggles sweetly, "Did you miss me hyung?" he asks me with a knowing smirk on his face.

"No, in fact. I don't want to see your face", I rib the younger before kissing him down his neck. We stay in this position for a few minutes as we catch up, “did you study well pretty lips?" I ask and stroke his face concerned. He looked a little bit tired, he had been studying so hard. "I'm going to fail, but let’s not discuss that right now", so I do as he says and hug him close, I feel his body heat and we stay still. Youngjae is all mine, until Jackson calls for Youngjae claiming that half time down done

Jackson allowed me to bring Youngjae over to the apartment and he seemingly liked the younger, they had develop some weird kind of bromance, as both enjoyed watching sports. It was surprising that Youngjae liked sports like he did, I knew he played football but I didn't think he was that obsessed.

The pair much like today would sit and watch international football, both supporting the same underdog team. Even though the team lost royally they showed a lot of support and playfulness. Arms around each other as they chanted and cheered for their team, it was definitely a sight to see. Jia would even tease Jackson about his new formed friendship with the younger, teasing that they seemed closer than friends something that Jackson would playfully agree to partly because he was comfortable with his sexuality, but mostly to strike my jealous nerve.

The four of us had become really comfortable and were good terms, it wasn't awkward anymore and Jackson was allowing me to stay longer to save up for money for an apartment. I was grateful and doing my best to save up using my own earned money and get out of his hair, in the meantime when Youngjae and I were free we would spend time together. So once the football match is done and we eaten the dinner that Jia had made, I escort Youngjae home. 

"This is weird hyung" Youngjae remarks self-consciously. "Let me down!" he complains sat upon my back. Youngjae tries to squirm off of my back, the younger seemed painfully embarrassed to being carried like this. "I'm twenty too old for piggy back rides" he whines cutely but I keep my grip on him, I wanted to do something cliché and romantic. So I was piggy backing my man to the nearest bus stop.

"Hush up you!” I playfully tap the younger. “You have no problem being on top of me in other circumstances. Don't act shy!" Youngjae burst out laughing in response, he smacks my shoulder. "Hyung!" he whines bashfully, but his hands stick to my shoulders which he begins to rub soft circles into. "Youngjae, aren't you grateful to get a ride like this from oppa" I rib the younger. My remark earns me a thwack to the back of my head, "are you one of those pervs, who enjoys being called oppa by another dude?" Youngjae playfully poking fun at me. 

"Does it make you hard?” Youngjae continue his teasing but adds a little stimulation by slipping my hand down shirt to pinch my nipple. “It doesn't take much, as long as you do it", corny as it may sound it was pretty true, I could scarcely resist the charms of Choi Youngjae. "Hyung do you want to get frisky here, there's an alley nearby, is that why you're being chivalrous and carrying me?” Laughter escapes my throat, "public sex, Youngjae I didn't know that was tickled your fancy?" I counter.

"Hmmmn. It might have been alluring but then again, these streets are dangerous now you have those weird ass vampire addicts running around". I sigh deeply, not because I wanted to have public sex with the younger. It was taking longer to make these streets safe for Youngjae well not just for him but he was driving force in my mission to catch this ass hole. Just short of reaching the bus stop, I cease my footsteps and carefully drop the younger.

Youngjae slowly climbs down from my back, he leans over to peck my cheek. "You tired hyung?" he pokes fun, a smug grin on his face. I reach for Youngjae's hand to pull him closer, "Be careful Youngjae", I seriously warn the younger, but judging by the grin on his face he doesn't take it seriously. "Oh come hyung, you can't take a little teasing?" says with a laugh. "I can't take the thought of you getting hurt. Again", words which receive a long drawn out groan in response.

"Not this again" Youngjae whines, pouts out to a sight which sets my heart aflutter. To him I probably felt overprotective, but after his attack at the mansion had me on edge. Youngjae is briefly silent before he reaches to cup my face, he pulls me in closer. "Awww poor baby, I scared you didn't I?" I roll my eyes at his condescending tone. “Hyung I will be careful, the only person I want biting me is you, okay?" he reassures me with a chuckle before leaning in to give me a sweet peck me on the lips.

I reach for the back of Youngjae's neck pulling him closer, I press my lips back onto his. Youngjae reacts immediately his hands at my waist, pulling me closer and the kiss deepens. Right there in that moment all feels right, I could get used to nights like this. Warm moments like this, I wanted cling to them forever, but unfortunately nothing last forever. Although a little voice in the back of head, the voice I needed to ignore thinks otherwise. I would never cross that line, not ever.

When at Youngjae's apartment which he affectionately nicknamed, "homo headquarters” things were a little bit tenser. Youngjae and I were working our through my favourite past time, foreplay. Today Youngjae was more willing to participate, usually he let me nibble and lick until we were both worked up enough for sex. I was enjoying this, both in a state of undress. Youngjae had me pinned down to the bed, he was focused on my neck delivering soft kisses, whilst his hand was past my waistband stroking my now hard member.

"Jinyoung hyung" Youngjae whispers in between delivering kisses, when suddenly we are interrupted by a loud bang. As I look up I spot Yien and his girlfriend Suji who were both in their underwear, "are we interrupting anything?” Yien questions but doesn't wait for an answer before flopping onto the bed with us. Youngjae sighs and removes his hand from my boxers and climbs off of my lap, I internally groan. "Oh hey, are we having an underwear party?" Suji jokes noting our undressed state. 

"Seems like it" Youngjae mutters a reply and flops onto the bed, I follow him and lean my head on his shoulders and his arms wrap around my waist. “We were thinking of getting pizzas, wanna order with us?" Yien asks casually but his gaze towards me was pretty intense. Yien still seemed a bit off with me recently, however it was strange to receive that same intense gaze from his girlfriend new girlfriend Suji who was stranger. 

Youngjae had told me that the pair had become close and that they had found a spark that they could not ignore and with the blessing of a gracious Mina were trying a relationship. I had hoped this relationship would have kept them busy, however when I was there the pair worked as cock blockers. Since his trip back to Mokpo Yien seemed to be determined to cease any sexual activity between his precious Youngjae and I. 

They had no boundaries, they had to have known what they were interrupting but did not care. Despite Youngjae's protests his hyung never listened, I knew Yien had some unresolved feelings for Youngjae. Even being a relationship of his own, Yien still showed a lot of jealousy and resentment towards me and acted very pettily. Surprisingly his girlfriend Suji joined in, more than Yien she seemed to dislike me and I wasn't sure why exactly that was.

Youngjae would never confront Yien, he knew that he couldn't say anything to change his elder's behaviour. I knew if he cut the elder off and didn't talk to him it would serve as a warning, but Youngjae would never do it. As much as he complained about his elder, I knew he was still very dependent on him for emotional support. So I never forced it, I couldn't try and mould Youngjae's life to suit my needs so for now I bit my tongue and enjoyed what I could get of him.

So I played along and did this underwear sleepover that Yien has pulled from his ass, I wouldn't hold back just because he was around. We watch an anime movie that Yien and Youngjae had been desperate to watch, Suji is in total silence for the rest of the night but I catch her glaring at me on and off. I shrug it off and stay close to Youngjae, I wouldn't give him up so easily, and with his hands gripping my thigh, it doesn't seem like he wants me to leave either. So I don't and eventually the movie ends and Youngjae speaks up asking for some privacy for him and me.

Yien is reluctant, I can tell there's something he wants to speak to Youngjae about but he would have to wait. I was going to be selfish and keep Youngjae to myself for now.

I hated nightmares. I rarely had dreams that I remembered, but there was one nightmare that would creep back and almost attack me. The reoccurring night terror played almost like a roll from a silent horror movie it plays. The picturesque view of cherry blossoms falling, the festivals had just ended and you had to go walking the streets at night alone, but you weren't alone for alone. 

You weren't meant to be alone for long, nor were you. The dream is detached from, despite seeing it all from a POV it doesn't feel like a memory that belongs to me. It had happened to someone else, and not me. It couldn't have happened to you, you were alive and happy. It surely couldn't be me...

"Hyung?" his anxious tone works as an anchor pulling you out of your dream. Even through hazy morning eyes you could still see his concerned eyes, his chocolate orbs erase the fear that was in your heart. Instead they replace it with a warmth, something you have felt ever since you first laid with him. 

Did the younger know how often he saved me? How often he saved my life? How he slowed down my erratic heartbeat, numbed the pain, how he erase the ills in my life and deafened me from the past I was so desperate to escape.

"You have another nightmare?" he questions, although he probably already knows the answer. I simply nod and bury my head into his warm and comforting chest. He sighs sounding concerned, "okay this is becoming more frequent, and is it something I did perhaps. I wonder" he playfully jokes.

I chuckle in response to reassure him otherwise, reaching to stroke his arm. "No. I don't know what it is. Who knows" I nonchalantly try and brush it off, but Youngjae doesn't back down. "So you can't tell what they're about? What kind of dream is it?” unable to give an answer that would cease follow up questions I shrug.

"A church member I worked with used to have dreams about pizza, everyone now and then" I bring it up hoping to distract the younger, "a pizza?" thankfully the abnormality of the story works to distract Youngjae. "Yeah it was weird. He would tell me in confession that he would dream of pizza companion. It would talk to him and everything", I further divulge doing my best to divert my lover's attention.

This strange anecdote greatly amuses the younger. "Hey, are you supposed to tell me about that. Aren't confessions sealed or something". Hmmmn, I wonder where they? To be fair I had never been given former priest protocol, but I had broken one of their more important rules during my time in service. "Oh yeah" Youngjae says with a sheepish chuckle as I state this point out, he strokes through my hair before fondly kissing my forehead. 

"Can we stay like this all day?" he quietly d to answer with forever but my cheesy line is cut with the sound of my phone ringing through. Despite my temptation to ignore it and not answer the phone, but the ringtone playing was assigned to the one the only Wang Jackson, which meant he needed my help. 

Youngjae sighs seemingly have understood the situation already, "at least we can fit in a quickie. In the shower?" he asks with a seductive grin. Irresistible. I couldn't say no, he looked so good. "Yes go ahead, oppa needs to answer the call, I’ll join you", I tease smacking his cute little ass before I reach over for my phone. "Freaking perv" Youngjae remarks before reaching for a towel on the bed post and heading into the shower. 

Later in the week while Youngjae is busy studying for an exam, so I plan for a lonely night reading my favourite novel, when I return home to cook my dinner for the night instead of catching the horny couple in a clinch, the house is empty. Jia wasn't in the house today, she had been in the house on and off as she has been slowly recovering from a sickness, something that both she and Jackson had been mysterious about it. 

From the signs I had caught I knew that it wasn't an ordinary disease, I instead got the feeling it was an addiction. Her behaviour reminded me of many of the addicts that I had dealt with, her extreme mood swings one minute she was happy to be around. We would go for coffee and chat about relationships and shallow personal things. Within hours she could flip and be quiet, cold and dismissive.

She would sometimes be anxious, at first I had assumed it was because of Jackson's dangerous line of work. However there were time times she was a bit restless, she would just clean and clean and try everything to be active like she was trying to distract herself. Some other days she would be lazy in a snuggy, she seemed depressed and lethargic. The signs seemed too familiar and having grown fond of her I was certainly worried about him.

I knew and I recognised the signs, she had to take off work when it got really bad for her. Jackson seemed to be the only person who could perk her up, I knew she loved him completely all by the way she watched him. She glowed whenever she was around him, I certainly felt some envy just watching them together. 

Today I decide to make a big meal, something delicious for Jackson and Jia. They both deserved it, after all they had done so much for me, and while I cook I get a call from Youngjae. "Hyung can you dress as me and take this test in my stead?” the younger complains about struggling to study.

"Hmmmn, I don’t know Youngjae, your pouty lips are one of a kind. They might be able to tell us apart", I tease. "We won't know unless you try, try for me baby”, my heart flutters at the sound of that word. Baby, it’s a boyfriend's nickname, it was my wishful thinking. "But then your thighs, no one will believe my skinny thighs. No no no cutie you must study", I tease and encourage the younger. 

Youngjae complains about his studies, so like an understanding prospective future boyfriend I listen and laugh at the cute younger vent. It was better for him to have called me than to call the mansion asshat. As he talks I can almost hear him pout through the phone, so I comfort him and cheer for him which wins a chuckle from my younger.

We talk for a few minutes and he seems to calm down which brings me relief and some make small and pointless conversation. As long as I could hear his voice I would be happy just taking to him about anything. However we are interrupted by a sharp and rapid knock at the door, it sounds urgent so I reluctantly end my call with Youngjae and go to answer the door.

To my surprise the gorgeous Bae Suji is at the doorway, her appearance immediately takes me aback. She normally went for a cool grungy look, but today it was past that, she looked dishevelled. Her hair is messy and slightly matted to her face. Makeup is caked up, her mascara is a little runny, and she looks like a hot mess. Judging from her black leather jacket and skinny jeans that she was wearing, it looked like she hadn't changed her clothes for a while. 

She wipes her face and stands up straight, "Jinyoung, you're here!” she says with charming a grin on her face. "It’s good to see you, aren't you going to let me in? she speaks fast and erratically. Her behaviour is concerning me, "What are you doing here? How did you know I live here?” Suzy pauses briefly peaking my suspicions, “we need to talk. And Youngjae said you lived round here?” she quickly explains to me. What is going on with her? I can't shake this feeling. 

It's odd because that doesn't seem like a thing Youngjae would do, but I accept what she says seeing as she's here. Suji stands impatiently asks me to let her in and so I do thinking she had something to speak on, probably her complicated relationship with Yien. Even though they had the blessing of Minha, the pair bickered often. Youngjae supposes that during their time together with Minha, that fallen foe Yien's charm, thankfully that charm has never worked on my Youngjae.

However knowing how friendly Yien, it probably inflamed Suji's jealousy. Last time I had seen the pair together they seemed to be doing well, but maybe the down swing had come around. Before I get the chance to escort Suji to the living room to sit and talk, she runs across the room and leaps at me. The look in her eyes is scary she looks to have lost it, I'm too slow to move and dodge so I receive a sweep at my face her foot grazing my face.

"YOU DID THIS TO ME!!!" Suji yells at me furiously whilst swinging fists towards me, I dodge and watch on with no time to be really confused. “You mother fucker!" she yells at the top of her lungs. I had always seen Suji as tough, she wasn't a soft wallflower but she never seemed to pick a fight without reason. I call for her to stop while dodging her quick moving and fierce attacks. It was strange but she moved quicker than any human being, the hairs on my neck stand up at this thought.

I haven't been a fight this strenuous in a while so my attempts to dodge are becoming harder to do, Suji manages to land a few blows and throws me across the living room area onto the coffee table. I don't have much time to recover as Suji raises her leg down to come and chop, I soon start to weaken in my resolve to not use my powers.

Suji is a skilled and quick moving fighter who is quite frankly kicking my has, however I can't use my powers as I don't want Suji to be suspicious or have me ask questions that I'm not comfortable with. I move as quickly as I can off of the table away from Suji still begging for her to stop, however crazy demented and angry she flips me over onto my back, her strength is scary.

Panting hard I watch Suji shocked and honestly scared as fuck as I see her anger filled eyes. There is a rage and storm filling my eyes as she wordlessly snaps my hand. Breaking the bone, the bone pokes through. As a forced reflex I yell out, not feeling agony but I have to keep going with this charade. “STOP!! STOP IT SUJI", I yell my complaints and try to push her off. I'm shocked to see her fangs bare and I realise what she is. 

My attempts to try to push her away but its fruitless, the fight continues and I could feel my arm slowly healing up, I have to finish this fight before she figures out what I am. I work less on defense and become to fight back, hitting Suji trying to think of a way to attack her and maybe knock her out. However Suji is strong and quick and her anger makes her unstoppable.

Losing this fight, I'm totally going to get creamed in this fight. Suji flips and body slams me over onto my front and she twists my arm around pulling it out of its socket in one foul move. I feel her foot on the back of my head as she pulls harder, "you did this to me!!" she finally shouts out in anger. I yell out in pain, at this point a person would have fainted but I can't my body forces me through the pain because my pain threshold is inhuman. 

Suddenly I feel the pressure off me as Suji removes her tight grip, "I'm going to kill you, FUCKING RAT!!” Suji continues to yell obscenities at me. "What the hell is going on?!", I turn to see that Jia has interrupted our messy wrangle, she rushes over and holds Suji back by gripping her arms. However Suji panics and tries to free herself, she manages and tries to run away using her abnormal speed. 

To my surprise Jia is surprisingly faster, Jia is so fast that in the blink of an eye she blocks Suji in. The next blink is her kicking Suji's leg with a mighty force and forcing her to the floor. She swiftly moves and pulls out from her pocket a needle and injects it into Suji's neck quickly. I sit up and force my arm into its socket and feel the sting as it starts healing. I hear a squelch as I sit in a puddle of blood.

Suji stops squirming and gasps looking up at the ceiling she freezes in place, her eyes wide open. I get up and walk over ignoring the pain, I watch on shocked as Jia holds on to Suji putting away the needle. After a minute of watching a frozen Suji, Jia seems to relax and turns to look at me waiting for an explanation. "Speak up". 

Panicked and unsure what to say, I still don't fully understand the situation myself. However Jia takes a seat down on the sofa and she sternly addresses me, "you have somethings to explain, so speak up". She lays bare the obvious facts my quick healing, the strength and speed in which we moved in. "I know what you are but I want to hear it from your lips", she speaks bluntly. I wonder how she could know, and think over the risks of revealing the truth briefly. I'm not sure myself how to tell her, what will she do what will happen to me and how will Jackson react he trusted me enough to live here?

"Confess father" she says watching me closely, the look in her eyes it scares me. I decide to reveal the truth, if anything it was so ludicrous that she would think I was bullshitting her. "I am a drainer" I say reluctantly making my confession, but she doesn't blink bewildered or shocked as I had expected. She doesn't look at all surprised, it’s as she had said she knew. She must have because her body language relaxes, but why is she so relaxed? How long has she known? The thoughts swirl in my head.

"The room is full of them isn't it?” I watch her confused and taken aback ."What do you mean?" I ask her completely concerned by him. "I've known what kind of person you have been for a while now", she reveals she is a drainer too. I'm shocked as she explains "Jackson had revealed this fact to me, he had known from early on who you were". Having been nosy on a visit to the church he had come across a stash of blood. "Being with me means that Jackson is no longer shocked by much".

I feel a pang in my chest, he had known all this time? Jackson had known and never made me feel like he knew or pushed it, he didn’t show fear being around me. He had treated me better than I felt that I deserved, I struggle to hold back some emotions, feeling guilt for having to lie to someone that who already knew. Jia comforts me and reassures me, "Jackson really respects you and cares for you and he didn't want you to feel uncomfortable. He told me that from the moment he met you he sensed that you were a good man". 

Jia explains that she has been a drainer for a nearly twenty years and was turned in her hometown in china by an uncle of hers. She speeds over the painful story and admits her current youthful look is due to years of abusing human blood. She recently went undercover to find JB the mystery criminal, but through that she relapsed into bad habits. Jackson pulled her out of the operation and right now she is working on sobriety.

Soon her attention turns back to Suji who is still frozen on her knees, she hasn't spoken but in her eyes I can see the life. Jia reveals that she has been injected by an experimental tranquilliser she designed for drainers, it stops all movement including the ability to blink or talk. Jia suspects Suji's strength is that of a newly made drainer, "someone like that shouldn't be let out...”

"She's very dangerous right now", she decides to take responsibility of the new drainer and force her through a withdrawal. "We need your room, for now could you stay with Youngjae and Yien to protect them". I agree, I apologise and ask if Suji should be her and Jackson's responsibility. "As cops we need to make sure she isn't t a danger to the general public", Jia doesn't wait for me to answer and instead thanks me for the food I made and gets up to call Jackson.

Fortunately Youngjae allows me to stay, when I make the excuse of being uncomfortable with the horny couple. He buys the excuse and he seems happy at the prospect of having an excuse to give up on his studying, instead we order some food in and watch a few movies in his room. Thankfully Yien is already asleep needing an early start, so today Youngjae and I are uninterrupted. He seems relaxed around me and was very affectionate and cuddled up close to me.

 

We both seemed to be on the same level, we were working in sync. Our feelings were matched and we click better, even though we weren't a couple. Thoughts of him still seeing the nameless guy really bugged me, even more so was the fact that Youngjae never slipped up and revealed anything about the guy. He left him as a mystery.

 

Even Yien knew nothing of this guy "granted I probably only discovered your existence because we bumped into each other" he comments the next morning as we speak over breakfast. "Youngjae is a low key person with relationships, he can keep a secret" something I knew well, he had kept our first night together a secret even from his best friend. Yien also doesn't resist the urge to question my suddenly living with them, he is suspicious and questions me. Had I been fired? Did I bang the police officer after all? "Did you bang his chick?"

 

It always felt like he was searching for the worst in me, but overall I was an open book to Yien. Of course I couldn't tell him I was a drainer or even about Suji being turned and her current forced withdrawal. I hadn't even told the most important person in my life Youngjae about it. How do I tell him all of that? He would never want me once he knew. So I avoid the thoughts, I never wanted that reality.

 

Later on I am called to Jackson's place, Jia had made some leeway with Suji. It had been a few days and honestly speaking, she looked awful. It was like she had been through a lot, although she was cleaned and dressed up in a cosy onesie the blood was drained from her beautiful face. 

 

"The withdrawals are always like this, she's strong and she'll make it through “Jia informs me. Jackson informs me that he and Jia have been with Suji most of the few days taking turns to take care of her and get her off of her dependency on blood. 

 

I knew just how painful it is, I can see that pain written across Suji's face. However the manic look she had in her eyes is replaced with her sane glint, when talking to me she looks apologetic. “Jinyoung... I was so crazy, I'm sorry", she tearfully apologises. I accept believing she had been taken over some rage and haze, I wondered.

 

Looking a little more level headed, she calmly answers my questions. When I ask about her who turned her she says she doesn't know a face. "It was at the mansion..." that fucking place, I feel a shiver down my spine thinking of Youngjae's close call.” I had a bit to drink and all that was going on with Yien and Minha was stressing me out", she explains that nights events.

 

"I didn't even want to think it all... I wanted to be distracted" she says choking back sobs as she retells the story. “He was tall, handsome and edgy, it felt like he had a control over me", she reveals that she hooked up with a guy. "Biting me, I thought it was just a kink... But he just lost control and..." As she describes in detail the stories of her turning, I can't help but compare it to my own experience. 

 

Most stories of turning were similar but no, this was almost identical to what I went through, but it can't be the same person. That person is dead and buried. Just thinking about the person leaves me feeling uneasy and uncomfortable, Jia shows her concern asking if I'm fine." You look a bit pale, are you okay?" she watches me closely. 

 

I falsely assure her that I'm fine, I wasn't. I didn't feel comfortable with the reel of memories playing through my head. Instead I decide to swerve the conversation back to Suji and how she is doing, "its not easy" she admits but she thanks Jackson and Jia for their help. The couple is nonchalant, with such kind hearts they would never want to make Suji feel indebted, just like they had done with me.

 

The pair was in the kitchen making dinner, both so comfortable with each other and they move almost in a pre-coordinated sequence, they are at ease with one another. Jia especially as Jackson tells a wild story of work and Jia watches him with both amusement and bemusement. Like she had heard stories similar but nonetheless she enjoyed them as long as they were told by her man.

 

Suji meanwhile fragile looking she looks like she's gone round the ringer mentally and I don't blame her, without her permission she became this addict who has to fight her natural urges. Withdrawal was a bitch, it was something that took great will power.

 

Unlike the stereotypical vampires you saw on television or read of in books, drainers had no real history behind them. They had just been a people who had quietly existed, they managed not to be detected. There was always few reckless ones, they were a minute minority of the community. Those dangerous drainers were taken care of, they were risk to our civilization as a whole. 

 

Drainers usually fell within three categories, there were the cold turkeys. They didn't feast on any blood, the temptation being too much or their political or religious views conflicted with any other lifestyle. These drainers were weak, as far as power and strength they were just above any normal human being but defenceless against other drainers.

 

The second kind of drainer is the more humane of the latter two, they consumed the blood of an animal. Usually they practiced humane ways of feeding from or killing these animal and had a small and unknown industry which thrived in selling to the mass of drainers. With a diet of blood they were pretty strong and depending on the will of the person in some cases they could match up to the strongest kind of drainer.

 

The strongest kind of drainer being those that take from humans, usually in today's society some of the pumps were more willing. Whether it be a lover into some sort of kink, a friend or family member who would provide blood for their loved one. However there was a more menacing kind of drainer.

 

Lastly the other kind of drainer is the most frightening type, they took blood without consent. They were cold blooded beings who would not blink when hurting a person and suck the blood from a person and even suck them dry, they are the type to go on a rampage. They are evil and the worst kind of drainers, they are also the strongest.

 

As Suji silently cries I recognise what she must be feeling, I went through it. Most drainers must feel like this, we may get the inhuman strength and speed, and also the closest thing to immortality but it takes its toll. We are essentially addicts and if we have to struggle that with daily and have a different lifestyle we didn't choose. I understand her anguish, this was traumatic and forced onto her, and I am sympathetic for her and angry at her creator.

 

"We need to catch this bastard" Jackson says through clenched teeth as he escorts me out later on, he explains that he knows this JB's work. A shiver goes down my spine as I realise how prolific this guy is, he's troublesome and if he isn't stopped more people could suffer like Suji. 

 

"I need your help" he explains that working with Jia on this isn't simply enough. "I think this guy... JB or someone affiliated had something to do with her attack, and these few attacks we've been dealing with in town". Jackson tenses up," we need to stop this guy quick", he brings up how I helped him during Kunpimook's case. "Work as my advisor, I'll pay you and lets help save Seoul of this asshole?" 

 

A face flashes before my face before I answer, Choi Youngjae. This was going to be a safe place for him to live, I needed to ensure of that. So I agree to help out a happy looking Jackson and head back to Youngjae's apartment.

 

Before I head into the apartment I overhear Yien and Youngjae talking, as a drainer my hearing was extraordinary. I could hear a lot, sometimes things from a mile away. I usually phased out most of what I heard like a white noise, but like most days I used my powers to check what I was walking into.

 

I could hear Youngjae and Yien discussing me staying over and Youngjae ignores Yien's suspicions. “Why is he suddenly moving himself in, are you even ready for this?” Yien sounding concerned he questions the younger. "He's not moving in, but if I can help my boyfriends, then I'll help him", my heart flutters at those words, words I had desired so much.

 

"Boyfriend? “Yien teases the slip up, "You've never called the priest that. Since when?” Youngjae stands by it, “he has given up a lot for me" he speaks softly. "Is that enough?" Yien questions without hesitation, is what I have given up the reason Youngjae is staying? Youngjae doesn't answer immediately and my heart sinks, had I pressured the younger to this extent?

 

Had my sacrifices strong armed him into his decision to be with me? A feeling of dread pulls up in my gut, I was suddenly having a lot of regrets. It feels like an age before Youngjae suddenly answers, a few minutes must have passed. "I want him and only him, because I might love him". Overjoyed a grin spreads to my face whilst a warm feeling replaces the dread in my gut, I was so happy, those words are so good to hear.

 

Yien seems not to react to that, he ushers the conversation to work and the closet case who would buy him free food. The pair are good together, they can move from a tense situation to talk about anything casual. Of course I was jealous of their relationship, could I ever be as important to Youngjae as Yien? Yien was probably the most important person in his life. I would work hard to become that person, he was my competition for Youngjae's heart and I had win.

 

Later on in Youngjae's bedroom, we lay down to talk after eating a dinner prepared by the younger. I was cool relaxed and happy. Unable to resist I ask Youngjae about it, about calling me his boyfriend. "You heard that?” I simply nod my head in reply and stroke through his hair. He seizes up surprised that I heard everything, his cheeks flush and he cutely covers his face. ,"Wow hyung, your hearing is ridiculously good", he deflects my question.

 

"Very cute. If you don't wanna answer it, then fair enough”, he asks if I'm uncomfortable with it, "being my boyfriend? “ I reassure him that it made me happy, I stroke through his hair and watch as he blushes. I readily admit that I had been nervous, he was the only one for me but I wasn't sure if that was the case with him.

 

Youngjae sheepishly smiles, he asks if he seeing "him" really made me that jealous. Youngjae still didn't give a name, I had asked who this guy was but Youngjae still wouldn't tell me. He says I really don't need to know now, I "I'll end things with him..." still omitting his name but I don't care about that. 

 

"It’s you that I want" I grin unable to hide my happiness at those words. He admits feeling badly towards the other, but he can't continue on the way things are. "I want to be with you, this is the least I should do" he says whilst stroking through my hair, I now had what I wanted. Now I had to find a criminal and protect the boy I love with my all.


	12. Friends

Kunpimook's POV

 

126 days had passed, and the marks had disappeared. As I take in my reflection of my floor length mirror, it was early morning and I had my first shower of the day. I look over my nude body still surprised to see the bite marks had gone, they had healed and I was no longer in that terrible dark and frightening place. It is surprising, that I was no longer there anymore. How had my attempt for freedom ended so badly? 

 

Months of torment from the people that I called peers had lead me towards seeking solace elsewhere, into the arms of Kim Yugyeom. Online he was my bright spot of the day, he was funny, charming and he understood me in ways that no one ever had or has to this day. He seemed just as lonely as I did, surrounded by so many people and yet he felt so alone. He knew what it was like not to be accepted and so for a while he was a secret confidant.

 

Until everything started to become unbearable, the hate campaign again me at school moving from school and filtering its way into my small social life. The few people I regarded as friends cut me off in order to survive and the main culprit and bully Shin Kyung Jin had upped his campaign. He had joined the dance class, bringing along some of his henchmen and goons to disrupt and ruin the only thing that I loved. 

 

They had invaded my life and made it so that I felt alone, my mother not wanting to be troubled would simply suggest that I try harder. I hated Kyung Jin and his crew of idiots, I hated the pathetic cowards who watched on silence at my torment. I hated my siblings for no longer being around, I hated my father who had run away from and his family for a younger woman. I hated my mother for ignoring me, for working so hard and for clinging to a religion that stifled me.

 

My hatred had lead me to childishly and without thought run away to Yugyeom, only to be caught on a trap. Had ended being involved in something dark and twisted, something I had soon gotten tired of and tried hard to escape from. However I had stayed feeling indebted to the people there, to Jaebum and Minyoung. However weeks had passed and neither has been in contact with me, despite my loyalty and not speaking out against them, it appeared that they hadnt cared to contact me and I had been dropped me.

 

After all I was just simply their pump, one of many so it was obvious that I was dispensable, it would be a lie if I said I wasn't partly disappointed. Minyoung had been like an older sister to me, I missed her openness, her fondness and warmth. Jaebum I was not surprised by, ever since he had tried to kiss me a months before he had avoided me. It hadn't felt like I was in control of myself at that point, even though I wanted to trust him it felt like he made me do things out of my own volition.

 

It all felt like a lifetime ago, that the person wasn't me seventeen year old student Kunpimook Buwakhul. No, I wasn't a blood bag for the scary vampires who came from god knows where passing through to god knows where. They were brief and passing moments, brief and scary, gross moments, they were there to leech off of the former me. I was just an ordinary student who would be running late if I did not get dressed. Not that I had the desire to rush to school, but I had to return to my normal schedule, back to ordinary life. Early weekday mornings, get showered, get get dressed, have breakfast wth your fussing mother and head off to the jungle that you call school. 

"Did you sleep well my dear?", my mouth cheerfully greets me, just like the weather outside my mother warm and bright. "Yes mother", I greet my mother and head to the kitchen counter to the breakfast my mother has directed me to. It felt surreal sometimes, the simple things. Waking up in my warm bed, eating the breakfast my mother made with my mother, taking the bus to school and being around all types people. "You need to work hard my dearest sweetheart, there are great colleges nearby that you can get into", my mother had been encouraging me to study nearby. 

 

My mother didn't care what I studied, so there would be no arguments over my desire to study dance. However my mother wanted me near home and near her, something I was thinking over. Did I want to stick around because despite the warmth and normalcy I was receiving from her, there was obviously something major that we weren't really getting to addressing. My mother was doing her best to avoid the topic and I did not want to ruin the current peace that we have shared over the last few months. I just nod my head like a good little son would and continue to eat the food my mother so kindly prepared for me. 

 

Today was going to be similar as those before, a boring school day with peers that I didn't particular like. On the way to school I bump into two of those peers, both which are particularly loathesome. School bullies Kang Yongguk, Shin Gunhee they corner me around the corner from the school building, its as if they had tracked me down. Yongguk is a gangly looking oaf, not much wit or intelligence, but he excels in vile behaviour and ignorance to foreigners. " Look who it is, Gun Hee it appears we've found the queer pad thai", he says with a grin standing behind me. Whilst his partner in crime the equally ugly, chubby brute Gunhee blocks the path in front of me.

 

Honestly I had done everything to avoid the pair since returning and had fortunately been able to avoid them and get on with my day to day. The school had cracked down on bullying since my return so the pair were somewhat restricted. However they had caught me off before reaching school and I could tell they were on bullshit, "give us money". Yup, I was right. It wasn't the first time we had danced this dance before, the incompetent pair had made a lot of money fleecing the queer kid. It was sickening and I was no longer doing that anymore, so gathering my courage and steadying my heartbeat, I decline.

 

Thwack, I receive several slaps from both my tormentors. "Come on fag, d'ya think cause you came back things have changed?" Gunhee says with a prod to my chest. "You're still queer foreign trash" Yongguk cruelly taunts. " Why would you want money from trash?" I retort full of disapproval, I don't quite know where all this courage is coming from I was clearly was outnumbered . "Because its easy money now shut your mouth ans open your wallet",Gunhee shamelessly replies. Normally I would have handed over the money to avoid this situation but I was a little fed up today. "Get a job, ask your parents, beg on the streets" I say hoping to slip away to the side but Yongguk and Gunhee keep me sandwiched between them. 

 

"Awww the sissy is getting brave. Isn't that cute?" Yongguk grabs my collar and throws up again the nearest wall. He slaps my face repeatedly, the look on his eyes was cold and disconnected. Almost like he was doing this but didn't know what the reason was, like he was just doing all this without a real purpose. "You run away with these queers and return thinking you're something special. You're nothing special. Because you are nothing and no one". Cruel words that I had heard time and time again, not to say everyone had treated me this way but it didn't hurt any less to hear those words. I was seen as trash and unworthy of living and it was times like this where I felt like maybe they were right.

 

Yongguk grips on Gunhee's shoulder telling him to stop, "Hey, is anyone there" they look around see no around."No, you're hearing things" Gunhee shrugs off his hand and grips my arm. It wouldn't matter if they were, no one would say anything if they saw anything. I was used to seeing them walk away ignoring what was going on in front of their eyes. No one dared mess with Gunhee and Yonguk, the school's toughest brutes and criminals. They had spent so long bullying and intimidating people without consequences, no one went against them. 

 

"Come on Kunpimook, give us money, we waited for you so nicely" Gunhee says continues to slap me repeatedly."HEY!!" I hear a loud voice cut through the air, "You trashy assholes stop it!!" Jimin pop around the corner. She wears a stern and threatening scowl, with phone in hand she approaches me. "Whose that? Ahhh your little girlfriend is here", Gunhee says with a knowing smirk whilst continuing to hold me by the collar. "What do you want bitch?", Yongguk spits at Jimin. However she doesn't back down "Get lost you jerks! Or else I'll send this video I took to the principle Geum" Gunhee scowls, letting go of my collar he watches Jimin irritation written cleanly across his face.

 

According to the school's new principle Mr. Geum an aged man, who was stern and seemingly fair. He had promised zero tolerance for bullying, he wasn't going to follow the laxed approach of the last head of school. After my return we had talked one on one, he assured me that he would ensure if was having issues that I should see him, but realistically I didn't know how far that would get me. School was like a prison, the hierarchy didn't appreciate snitches, if you went to authority with your problems it would have more repercussions from those at the top. 

 

"I'm sending this to Yerin too, she's at school already, do want to be met with a suspension?" Jimin bravely threatens. She had changed so much, in order to survive she had never been this open about her loyalty to me before my time at the mansion. However here she was, boldly defending me. "Whatever you loser", Gunhee backs away slightly but slaps me lightly,"we'll see you later fag" Yongguk gets his last words in and the pair head off. "Ugh, what jerks" Jimin comments still filming the pair, as I watch her closely I see her hands were still slightly shaking, she is scared but brave and loyal.

 

"Are you okay?", unlike before Jimin, she was no longer a spectator to my torment, she was loyal. She barely hung out with the clique of girls she once was with, the girls who didn't want to get on the bad side of Gunhee and Yongguk and their group of mindless followers. She had left them and was in a smaller social circle, she was loyal to them, to me, her best friend Yerin and her boyfriend Lee Kitae. As a four it felt like we were no easy targets, but every now and then Gunhee and Yonguk tried to cause issues. Fortunately I had loyal friends, Park Jimin was my rock and I was grateful. "Come on kid, we have home room an Yerin said she would only let us copy her notes in that lesson". She reaches for my hands and pulls me keeping me ahead. 

 

For the rest of the day we manage to avoid any physical altercations between our group of four and the school bullies. Thankfully the days goes smoothly, I catch up with my class and feel myself settle into a comfortable state. Life wouldn't be half bad if it continue like this, loyal friends and a loving mother, but honestly I feel unsettled. I am unsatisfied with this concept, staying under the radar is for my safety but it doesn't really make me happy.

 

The next day Yerin, Kitae, Jimin and I head out shopping, we went to the biggest mall in the area. Weekends with a group of friends, this was part of my assimilation back to civilian life. I had spent so much time trapped inside of condos watching television to dull the boredom of the day, one day bleeding into the other. Weekdays were the same as weekends, weekends mirroring the weekdays, it was never ending and boring. As pumps we weren't allowed much freedom, we rarely left the condo without Minyoung or Jaebum in order not to catch attention. 

 

I had the freedom to see my friends, to go to spend time with them outside of the jungle we called school. We were just normal teens strolling through the shops, laughing, joking and looking for any fun to be had. Along the way through the mall we see a few fellow students, unlike inside school there doesn't seem to be a tension or animosity. We politely greet those who are willing, and talk to others who stop to chat with us. As we walk and talk Jimin shows some possession of me, especially when we bump into girls from school whom are surprised to see our group.

 

Its the old group of friends Jimin had left, although they seemed to be on good terms there was a slight tension in the air. There was obviously something that was not being addressed or resolved by the former friends. If seemed to effect Jimin and have her clinging to me, her hand firmly gripping mine. Thy talk briefly as does Yerin but she doesn't seem quite as willing to put on a front of politeness and seems desperate to say something but is held back by Kitae from saying something. Kitae seemed very cool and affable on the outside, he was average looking. He wasn't idol gorgeous, nor was he ugly, he looked like the oppa next door and many girls seemed to like that in our school. Yerin obviously included.

 

Yerin was much like Jimin, she was opinionated, genuine but unlike Jimin she found it easier to wear her emotions on her sleeves. She didn't fear repercussions or the hierachy built up in the school, she had held back this long as a loyal friend to Jimin. If she went off on all the wrong doers in school her ties to Jimin would be used, and Jimin would be in turn affected. Yerin had known Jimin since their early days in primary school and kept bonded since then. Yerin was loyal to Jimin, and she had waited patiently for Jimin to detach herself from a toxic group of friends, now that she had I was sure she had a lot she wanted to get off her chest. However with Kitae intervening she doesn't get the chance, and Jimin's clique leaves with no incident to occur. 

 

Jimin breathes a sigh if relief and it seems that some time passes by before she is no longer trapped in her thoughts, she is able to converse and be the funny witty girl we all knew and moved. Yerin is able to relax and put her claws away, she switches from paying attention to her best friend and boyfriend. We got on well enough, but there was something about Yerin that set off my suspicions, it seemed she didn't have much trust me either. Jimin had tried to clear the air of suspicion in the air to help our group have synergy, but realistically it was probably going to take time for us to let our guards down and trust each other. For now we survived by being civil and didn't die of awkwardness with our amiable Kitae and Jimin around as buffers.

 

Hours into our mall visit we sit and eat ice cream parlour on the first floor, a warm breeze pools in as we enjoy our cool snack. It was really ending up to be a pleasant day, I enjoyed those kind of days, those were winning days. The conversation topic is the dreaded return to school, Kitae tells a rather entertaining account from his French class which has everyone at the table laughing. We're all in fairly good spirits, I had friends around me and this delicious mint chocolate chip bowl. I should be all good but suddenly I feel a familiar pang in my chest.

 

Gripped my a passing pain I drop my mini plastic spoon in the bowl of my favourite icecream, my mouth goes dry and I lose my appetite. " Kunpimook?" I hear Kitae's voice, I bear it but my gaze doesn't meet his. Instead my gaze is focusepast him and across to the mall pillar, semi hidden behind him is a familiar face. The person I hadn't seen in nearly 6 months, it had been so long to see him but it appeared that we were somewhat connected. Hid behind the pillar, his large body almost puts on level pegging with the pillar he was hiding behind. Honestly speaking when I had first met him I had believed he had been a troll from the internet, surely 16 year olds weren't that huge. Seeing him from afar he still looked huge, but I knew he was quick. However right now he wasn't moving, he was just stood there watching me.

 

"Earth to Mookie?", saves in front of my face she prods me giggling. Was my boyfriend boring you? You seemed to just zone out on us", Yerin says with a playful smile. "Am I that boring Kunpimook?", Kitae joins the teasing. However I don't laugh, I can't laugh not right now, there were so many emotions and memories stirring. My ex was right in front me but he wasn't saying a word or approaching me, I was feeling unnerved amongst other emotions. " Kunpimook, are you okay?" I hear the shift in Jimin's voice as she becomes suspicious. However instead of staying to reassure her, my body goed again my will and lifts me up off my seat.

 

"Sorry guys,I just remembered I have something to do", I pluck an excuse about having to do an errand for my mother. I rush away without looking back and chase after my now fleeing ex, I run out of the mall and out into the parking lot and I lose him. He seems to have disappeared into thin air which bothers me even more, why did he come there if he wasn't going to speak to me. I sigh as I'm about to head back into the mall ready with an apology for my friends a vibration in my pocket stops me. I quickly take my phone from my pocket and find a newly received message waiting for me,it was from him. From Kim Yugyeom, he uses the old number which he had used when we first got together, the number I called numerous times when he left and received no replies from. 

 

Later that night I sneak out from home, I head out of the house making sure not to stir my mother who was watching her Saturday night television. I only had about an hour to spare to go to meet Yugyeom, according to his text he apologised for skipping out but had something he needed to do. However with his text there was a time and place where we were supposed to meet and talk.I head off to the coffee shop he had arranged our meeting to be in, I was nervous as fuck but if we were going to speak it was time we ended things clearly. 

 

I make it to the coffee shop first, as I wait at the certain coffee shop i wait and recognise the waiter, he is playing with another guy. I watch him flirting with his coworker, it boils my blood as the other guy pins him down tickling him. The waiter an average looking guy, not very tall, not very handsome, and no real spark of charisma has a stunning and gorgeous pretty boy fawning over him. Jealousy boils, what did this guy have that just had such beautiful men falling over themselves for him? Was it the sex maybe? Could he be killer in the sack? To me he looked like an awkward and clumsy nerd, but maybe it veiled a lot of experience sexually. Something I really lacked.

 

Apart from Yugyeom and an awkward encounter with Minyoung, I was pretty inexperienced. Did Jinyoung hyung and this guy have a lot of experiences together? Was he great in bed? Is that how he had lured a faithful man of god out of the church, into his bed? It made me sick, cause I felt inferior, unskilled, ugly and worse yet, like a kid. "Kunpimook?" a female voice interrupts my train of thought, I look up to see Yerin dressed ad usual short skirts and ironic t-shirts. This time round she has an apron covering what would have probably been a very bold tee, I had forgotten that her and Jimin worked here. Was it going to be a good place to meet Yugyeom.

 

Yerin asks what I'm doing here, the look on her face. She's obviously very suspicious, she doesn't make effort to hide it with Jimin absent. " Ah... I was meeting someome" I say panicking slightly, "You were?" detective Baek questions my criminal self or so it felt like that. "Yeah, my old friwnd from....Thailand. But they couldn't make it.... So I'm leaving", plucking the excuse from my rear I hurry off leaving my untouched coffee, yet another waste of money. I decide that due to his lateness to duck out, not wanting to discuss things with Yerin.

 

When I get home I have to sneak back in, however my attempt fails very soon. At the front door my mother is waiting for me, arms crossed her facial expression is very stern, she doesn't look very happy. She's worried about me "how could you suddenly disappear like that?" detective despite my attempts to apologise, she's riled up. "Do you know that I was just about to call the police?", she thought i had run once again. My mother looks on the verge of tears and I apologise once again and sincerely, I didn't want to worry her but she wouldn't have approved of me meeting Yugyeom at all. She sighs deeply her shoulders relax a little, "where were you?" like Yerin she scarcely hides her suspicions.

 

"I was in the coffee shop", she calms down to hear Yerin was involved she warns me to not leave without word again and also to not be involved in a love triangle with best friends I reassure her I wont. However I would much prefer her think that was happening, I'm sure she'd prefer the scenarios where her hetero son was pursuing two girls over her homosexual son going on secret meetings with one guy. She wasn't in the head space to accept me and my sexuality, not right now. So I head off upstairs past my mother, timing was going to be key.

 

The next morning as I recount the story, withholding the true reason I was at the coffee shop. I sit with friends before home room and exaggerate the story, I manipulate the stories to be in a funny and witty way. Fortunately with friends it wins laughter, especially from Kitae who admits to finding the irony is amusing. "Player, player from the himalaya Kunpimook" teases me, cool and confident and unbothered by me involving his girlfriend. However Yerin has some complaints to being roped in, "I don't want anyone thinking we're in that way linked", she smarts. Kitae laughs in response," hey don't be mean" he says putting jis arm around Yerin's shoulder. She smiles and leans her head on his shoulders submitting to the other.

 

A pang of jealousy hits me, watching the pair who were so comfortable and worked so well. In the corner of my eye I see Jimin who has been pretty silent for a few minutes, something seems to have been bothering her but I can't figure out. I don't get the chance to ask her what as our teacher rushes in to start our home room, we are forced to stay pretty silent during the class. So I don't get to ask Jimin what's bothering her, especially when she runs away out of class mumbling an excuse of needing the toilet. Judging by Yerin's expression, I can tell she's suspicious. I make the decision to try and confront Jimin about it later, however I have to head off to class.

 

In class there is a struggle, I was still feeling uncomfortable at being back in a class full of people. I was still trying to feel comfortable with people surrounding me, the whispers, the stares and the looks, my paranoia made me so uncomfortable. In my third period maths class I do my best to pay attention, after all I wanted to do well and get into a good college and get the hell out of it. However my mind wanders as Mr. Shin's explanation sends me into a bore, my eyes wander around the class. I didn't seem to be the only bored person around, many of my class members were either whispering between themselves or doodling.

 

My straying gaze lands onto a familiar face and it looked like he was watching me, it was the gorgeous Park Joongki. He keeps his gaze firmly on mine, a sweet kind of smile tugs at his lips and suddenly I feel my heart fluttering a little. I blink back embarrassed and avert my gaze away, what the hell was this, why was I getting flustered? Unable to resist I look back up and notice Joongki still watching me, he is part of a group of quite popular clique in school. They were the elite, they weren't trouble makers but they had a cool aura that made them enviable to most students. If you were part of their clique then your social standing was pretty great.

 

Despite being part of that group of people, he was still under the radar but just looking at him I can sense something about him that no one seems to or at least they seem to ignore. Although he was swarmed by a small little fanbase of groupies around he has his pick of girls and he never had been seen to pay any attention let alone him be tied down to him. It had been this way before I had left and even now, I saw the way he watched other guys. I surly wondered why I was so obvious to people but he hadn't been, was being foreign a factor that helped me get caught or was there anything else. Maybe I should have tried to get myself in with his crowd and breezed through school without trouble.

 

Class ends eventually and fortunately manage to avoid watching Joongki and drawing attention to myself. I rush ahead and out of class and try to avoid the typical bullies and try to find Jimin. After all we have to talk, however both she and Yerin are both missing in action. So I eat my lunch in one of the classrooms quietly hidden from everyone, feeling the loneliness I had felt before my stint in the mansion. I had tried texting the three, but unfortunately I receive no messages and so I sit alone and feel a panic. Was I going to be alone? Despite a short one hour break, it draws out and feels a lot longer while being alone. Scrolling through my phone I spot several missed calls, from a person that I didn't really want to to talk to.

 

Later on in the day, I try to find a way to avoid going home and adding to extra curricula activities gets involved in a dance club. I feel free dancing and help a sunbae create a choreography piece when I hear a certain song that reminds me of my ex Kim Yugyeom. It was actually the song that had played the first time that we had met. He had looked so handsome, be was tall, broad and really handsome. He had sent my heart aflutter and made me laugh as he was so hectic and having fun dancing. He was so light on his feet despite his large stature, he loved dancing and his love for it was so infectious to me. 

 

It had been a long time since then, but the memories feel intense and real. A lot had happened between us, we had so many ups and downs. He had been someone i trusted until he left me with Minyoung and Jaebum people I no longer trusted. The list was getting pretty long, it felt people I cared about so much were abandoning me. I try not to sulk and just dance through it, I push myself until my body is wrecked so much that my brain doesn't have much time to catch up.

 

Later as I make my way back home I'm greeted at the gates by the newly elusive Park Jimin, still dressed in her school uniform, it seemed that she stayed after school. In hand she has a can of my favourite pop, she hands them over as she greets me meekly. " Hey" she simply says before she hands over the drink and hooks arms with me before leading me away. I follow Jimin concerned and waiting for her, there is a brief silence as I wait her for her to speak up. It seemed like she was struggling with something and I was concerned.

 

"It was Yugyeom you were going to meet right?" she quietly asks before taking. Sip of her drink. I honestly admit. To it, "are you getting back with him?" she stops and watches me. She questions me and my intentions with Yugyeom, "is he someone you still like her?", as she speaks she sounds jealous. I pause briefly, I knew what I was going to ask would be harsh but I question if she has misunderstood our relationship. "Perhaps, do you like me?", she falters looking a bit embarrassed. "No-no... Its not like that", she insists its just her caring for me. "Kim Yugyeom is trouble, I just don't want you to get hurt", as I watch her she seems genuinely concerned. " Is that why you avoided me all day?", she apologises and explains that she was afraid to bring up the subject of Yugyeom, "I didn't want to piss you off".

 

What a relief, my shoulders immediately release the tension and I reach over to pull Jimin into my arms. "Kunpimook... Please be careful", she pleads for me not to backslide to Yugyeom and endanger myself. I pat her back and agree, I know she was right, after what I had told her about him that I understand her caution. Nothing good would come out of messing with him, so I would reach for Jimin's arm and leading her out to escort her home. 

 

When I return home, I get right to studying, I needed more than dance skills to get into a good school. My mother arrives not long after to check up on me. Grades were highly important to both of us, she was going to ensure that I got into the right schools. My mother was working at home more and more, she was putting a lot of effort to be more hands on with me. Whilst she checks on me, she brings up the church and a Sunday school for young adults. " They seem to be happy and have lots of fun", my mother wants me to get more involved with the church and its activities.

 

"There's a new priest, he's really very good", my mother praises the new man of god. "Hopefully he's not a perv like the last one", I grimace at the ignorance of the comment but I don't speak up. I blank her briefly and focus on his word, "he's not so young and flitty, he's someone you should meet. I repress the urge to roll my eyes and excuse myself before heading off to my room. Without waiting for her approval I head off to my safe haven and suddenly turn on my speakers and music player. I want to listen to music and keep my mind distracted, however as I sit on the bed scrolling through the online comic of mine.   
I can't help but wonder what he was doing right now? What was he thinking about? Could he be thinking about me? Probably not but Jinyoung pops into my head and unlike my mother my thoughts of him are fond. I wanted to see him more, he did say we could meet to talk so i take him up on his offer. I had tried not to call him due to his busy schedule, but hopefully he could fit me in. 

 

The next day my missed calls racks up to 36 calls and 44 text messages, he wasn't giving up in his attempts to get in contact with me. So much so I decide to change my number, it was long over due and eventually contact the numbers that needed to be i'm contact with me. I didn't know why I had kept the number for so long, maybe part of me had been holding on to him. I was still conflicted about him, I knew I had told Jimin that I would stay away from him and I was trying but I was conflicted. I missed some of the fun and warm moments that we has shared, but I was still bitter with him not for standing me up the other day. I was still aware of the way he had treated me, I no longer wanted to be used and abused by him or anyone. I needed help and advice. 

 

Thankfully Jinyoung meets with me, but unlike with Yugyeom it was at a different coffee shop didn't want nosy Yerin to see and also we might bump into the mole boy.. He looked gorgeous as usual, he was ethereal, almost like he was sent from heaven He had a face that was like art, I had remembered being so obsessed with that face during my times in church. He had been part of the reasons that I had even visited church, milky white skin, beautiful symmetrical features and plump lips. Its difficult to focus on the conversation but I really do and try and focus, we were hear alone in the corner of a low key coffee shop. I wanted all of Jinyoung's precious attention, as we sit down to talk we catch up from our last separation.

 

Jinyoung he reveals that he has been working as a server at the world cuisine food, he reveals the owner is a Thai man himself. "Do you know who he is, his name is Nichkhun?" he questions, I shake my head to which Jinyoung smiles in response. "Sorry, is that a bit rude to assume?", he says seeming to read my expression for disapproval, but I was just nervous. " He could be a cousin, I don't know. I have so much", I joke trying to break the tension. Fortunately it wins a melodic giggle from him, my heart just flutters. " So, whats up with you?", Jinyoung questions as he takes a sip of my drink. Feeling comfortable I complain about school and dance practice but he reassures me playfully.

 

Later on the conversation gets back to him, I complain about him doing such menial tiring work, he jokes about the church paying less, but then thinks about maybe looking into a career choice later. "I want more for myself so I have a lot to think about" he says with a nod of the head, he's not defensive my words. I do my best to encourage him, "I know hyung is capable of so much more, he's so smart. He's the man who found me" as I say that a grin spreads across his beautiful face. He smiles as if he were thinking back to an old joke, my heart swells. What was he thinking of?

 

"School, how's things there?", he questions me and without much effort, just like that the floodgates open. My rant starts and my complaint flood in, I tell him about the sudden turn around in students, it feels like the school i have returned to is not the same. Like maybe I had overreacted and ran away for no reason. "You feel like they're being false, but couldn't they be genuinely apologetic?" Jinyoung genuinely questions. I scoff bitterly,"if they were truly sorry wouldn't I have received an apology?". When I pose that question Jinyoung briefly pauses, the corner of his lips tug up slightly as if he were amused. 

 

Jinyoung states that in his time the best apologies are those given through action, "if you are sorry about something don't pout to me about it and say the words. Use your actions". I understood what he meant but their actions felt shallow and forced, these people had taunted me or watched on as spectators and I felt bitter still. "Listen, it may not be comfortable for you right now and these people may not feel like friends to you, but it wouldn't hurt to take the leap" Jinyoung leans forward over the table his face close to mine my heart flutters wildly as he speaks."If you are rejected then oh well, you can feel vindicated because you ran away from something wrong", he calmly offers.

 

His face was close yet not close enough, I could see his beautiful eyes shimmer, he had the longest lashes I had ever seen. Full of sympathies and understanding Jinyoung continues to encourage me," but if they embrace you them then you have gained friends". I frown stubbornly but Jinyoung questions me, "how long are you planning to pout and hold this freaking grudge or do you want to move on like an adult?" I scrunch my nose stubbornly not speaking. Jinyoung chuckles in response. "I don't know if i can. Make friends" i admit sheepishly.

 

It had been so long since I had been the outgoing boy I used to be, i was now this self conscious wreck, Jimin had only befriended me of pity and Yerin and Kitae came part of the package. Jinyoung smiles and tells me that as embarrassing it is, "being yourself is always the best". He explains that he had lived a lie all this time and tried to make people happy but he also realised the people that matter, "they accepted me from the beginning". Curiosity gets the better of me and I ask him about his friends, I was dying to know more about him in all honesty. I listen as he says he used to have a big groups of friends back in high school but they fell and kept out of contact, he admits right now he has three friends he genuine could count. 

 

Each which know him well and have never judged him, they have asked nothing of him but to be himself. I feel a pang in my chest, its jealousy but not because of his accepting friends. Unable to resist I ask him a nagging question about Youngjae, he's taken aback by me knowing his name. I reveal that he works at the coffee shop with Yerin and that I recognised him, "he looked pretty friendly with some other guy... Yerin said his name was Yien or something". Jinyoung stays frozen briefly and although the part of me feels shitty for doing this, for acting all innocent when in actuality I was trying to cause trouble for he and his lover, the jealous part of me was hoping my scheme was working.

 

However a smile spreads across his face, despite this there is a hint of sadness in expression. Shit. I begin to worry about what I had done, I didn't want to upset him. "That's his best friend, they have nearly 6 years of history", he openly reveals. His eyes don't match his smile, "Six years of love, caring and respect, I know I'm the one he wants but its hard not to be jealous of Yien". My heart sinks at his confidence in his boyfriend, he smiles sheepishly. "Ahhh how embarassing I am revealing this, I couldn't help it, to me you feel like a friend". Zoned. Zoned. Friend zoned, I had just been friend zoned. I wanted a Kunpimook sized hole to open up next to me and to swallow me whole, instead I smile through the pain. Would I be able to win Jinyoung or was he so into this guy?

 

When I get home I rush to my bedroom, still on a high from spending so much time with the object of my desire. However its bitter sweet as I obsess about the gorgeous Park Jinyoung and his average boyfriend, how did they meet? How bold was this guy to seduce the priest? To me he looked like a brazen player and didn't deserve to be with Jinyoung. I sigh frustrated by the thought and try I ignore the burning feeling of envy building in the pit of my stomach. Its so hard to get my thoughts to calm down and be clear, but fail. Thoughts of Jinyoung, ojr conversation, my school mates, my past, Yugyeom and I am overwhelmed by a flood of emotions. I cry. I had tried so hard to be strong but i was weak, pathetic and unloved. I sigh stressed and try to think of anything else, I didn't need to be unnecessarily stressed.

 

The next day before home room Jimin and I sit to catch up, the conversation turns to me and my plans from last night. "Not much" I casually reply "I met up with Jinyoung hyung, we had coffee and talked a lot it was nice" I whisper quietly I didn't want anyone to hear cause it was none of their business. News of my meeting is something that Jimin doesn't react well to, she looks a bit suspicious, she had been like this last time when we had bumped into him. She asks me what we talked about, "nothing much, we just caught up, he gave me some advice". The expression on her face isn't great, she looks obviously bothered. 

 

"Kunpimook if you need to talk about anything you know I'm here", of course I knew but sometimes there were things she couldn't under. "Why bother an older guy that you obviously have a crush on instead of talking to your best friend" I try to deny it, that I liked him but Jimin doesn't seem to buy it.Could she just be bothered that I had been talking to Jinyoung or was this something else? She seemed a little too bothered, so I ask if she is my best friend, recently it felt like we weren't just that but were actually a couple. Jimin was clinging. There is a brief pause from Jimin before she answers back, "what do you mean? Get over yourself Kunpimook" she retorts before turning to the front of class. I wasn't completely convinced, but I don't get to question her as our home room teacher finally arrives.

 

An hour later I am in PE and fortunately I get to sit out of all the action and watch all the football action take place on the school's field. I sit on the bleachers bored out of my skull without my phone and separated from Jimin, Yerin and Kitae, I was pretty lonely. Out of boredom I watch the game in front of me, on team is Yongguk, Gunhee and some of their goons, whilst the other is a group is lead by the school's most popular student the pretty boy Yang Hongseok. He was not only the number one student at school, but he was tall, affable and gorgeous. He played sports well and was a natural born leader so he lead his team in a way that meant they were not intimidated by the school's bullies. With this their game was fair, competitive and had the attention of the coach and most spectators.

 

Blending into the back I sit quietly and watch on, I must be into it cause I don't even notice someone had joined me and was quietly sat by my side till they finally speak up. "You're full of surprises Kunpimook, I never knew sports were your thing", I jump startled to hear a voice that wasn't exactly familiar to me. When I turn, I see sat right next to me, very close, so close that our arms are touching is Joongki. Did I scare you?" he greets me with a warm and lopsided grin, just like that I feel a couple of butterflies. He was really quite beautiful up close, his dark hair contrasted to his pale milky skin, he had small bags under his eyes and paleish pink and plump lips. He didn't look the ordinary pretty boys act school, it was like he was the prince of darkness.

 

"Honestly speaking I don't know much about you, plus I never got much of a chance before you left. I watch him perplexed, what did he captain populars side kick want to know about me? "You were gone for a while", he casually brings up, "it was rumoured you were at the mansion and you were a prostitute" he bluntly reveals. I grimace at the thought, not that I had been subjected to it but I had certainly witnessed such goings on. Joongki reveals that everyone spread those rumours and he expresses a distaste, "after driving a person away, they continue their cruelty, they're sick". What the hell was this, was he angry on my behalf? Why, we weren't even friends. "Anyway I'm glad you're okay" he expresses watching me briefly looking me right in the eye not wavering. My heart thuds, from nerves, it was nerves right?

 

"Things aren't going to be like before. You're not alone", he looks serious, was he reaching out as a friend or guilty party? "Anyway..." Joongki starts to excuse himself, but I stop him by the arm as he sidles away. "Yes?", he watches me expectantly and I thank him and invite him to join Jimin, Yerin and I later on to the mall. My heart was beating out its chest, I was taking the leap like Jinyoung had suggested but this could end up badly. A wide grin spreads across his face, "sure, after school right?" relieved I nod my head to confirm. He accepts saying he needs to get some new piercings, "I'll see you later" he smiles and sidles away. I think to what Jinyoung had said and hope that Joongki could be someone who understood me and didn't judge me. 

 

Later on the way out of school to meet up with Jimin by the gate, I was in a rush to get home and be prepared. I spot Jimin at the gate, I spot Jimin who looks to be involved ina verbal altercation with former friends. Jimin is face to face with Go Eunji the leader of this small group, she was a pale, petit, slim and plain girl, however she walked around with her nose turned up to the ceiling. The pair talk whilst a few friends stand behind Eunji, none speaking and looking incredibly uncomfortable. "Come on Jimin, are you really gonna keep doing this, hanging around with him", Jimin stands patiently she doesn't reply. "He doesn't like you like that, he cant. He's a weird queer and you shouldn't be suffering like this", yes people think that like don't they? The group of friends don't speak out either, everyone is quiet to the ignorance apart from Jimin.

 

"How about you stop?", Jimin yells disapprovingly she holds an unwavering stance. As loyal as ever she defends me, "Kunpimook is smart, talented and kind" to which Eunji scoffs at causing her friends to laugh and a few passer by. The little altercation gains some spectarors, probably hoping for a girl fight and some gossip for later on." You must really like this loser", Eunji says with a smirk of superiority. Not missing a beat Jimin replies, "Kunpimook has more to offer this world than your ugly selves". "Ugly?!" those words don't settle well with the vain Eunji who leaps forward with a raised hang to slap Jimin. However its not Jimin's face she makes contact with, but the chest of Mr. popular Yang Hongseok's chest. He had stepped in the way of Jimin, to block the impact, he doesn't flinch obviously despite the noise the contact had made.

 

"Yang Hongseok?" Eunji simply says looking horrified to have hit the school's hottest property and the object of her desires. Hongseok briefly turns to Jimin who looked a bit shaken up, he checks up on her and receives a meek replyl just what the hell was he doing? "Just what do you think you're doing Go Eunji?", Hongseok sternly questions the horrified looking perpetrator. " I -...I..." Eunji trembles with nerves unable to find her words, "I guess you didn't get the memo, so I'll repeat the message for you", he turns to address the group that had surrounded watching them all sternly and unwavering. " Things will change here", his gaze finds me and keeps himself glued to me. He admits that he had not been part of my hate campaign but had been passive,"Kunpimook. I'm sincerely sorry for that" he openly apologises to me. 

 

The group surrounding us quietly watches, Eunji looks on disbelief as Hongseok continued to speak. "I was too nonchalant last time, this time I wont stand back", the look in his eyes in genuine, is this what Joongki meant by saying things were no longer to be the same. "If you want to be a gangster then quit this school" he says addressing Eunji and her group of friends who seem quite interested in a spot on the ground their eyes are glued to instead of the student lecturing them, they must feel embarrassed. "Here at this school, we're not ignorant. Understand? " Eunji reluctantly throws her pride away and begrudgingly apologises to both Jimin and I. It was surprising, but they had no choice if they didn't want to social pariahs they couldn't go against Hongseok. Jimin pridefully doesn't accept the apology and grabs my arm and drags me out the school building.

 

An hour later I was in my bedroom, as I get ready for the afternoon my mother checks on me. She opos her head through the crack of the opened door, "you going somewhere?". She takes note of my outfit, unlike my tracksuit I usually wore when staying home, I had on a pair on skinny jeans, a blue checkered shirt and leather jacket to complete the look. It was pretty obvious that I was going out, apart from my black jordans my look was complete for outside activity. So I inform her I will be meeting friends, to which warns me not to be out too late. She walks towards me and sternly warns me not to slack off in studying and I assure her that i am doing well, and asks when i returned I would study.Stood behind me strokes my hair fondly with a smile on her face,she tells me her relief for returning to school.

"Your teachers say that you're doing well" she gives my shoulder a light squeeze." Have you had any issues with any-", before. She can finish her question I interject and reassure her casually thay everything was fine. I notice her scrutinise me through the mirror reflection but before she can speak up, i receive another call. It was from an unknown number, I had given my new number to a handful of people those are rhe only ones I wanted to call me. So I decline the call, but that rubs my mother wrong way,suspicious disapproves she asks who it was. "Is it that boy?", thats what she called Yugyeom, she never called him by his name despite knowing it.

 

"My son you have been doing so well, you can't afford to slip back to that kind of person", months had passed and I had been doing so well. I had developed a deep breath tactic, I would use it in instances like this but for some reason today. I snap, "what kind of person? A trouble maker or a person who likes men?" I ask my mouth visibly annoyed with her I wasn't making any effort to hide that. She pauses briefly looking pretty annoyed too, "I know you are not that kind of boy", she tries her passive under the rug tactic but I don't let it die. "No, I'm not a trouble maker" I reply, she briefly pauses waiting for me to continue. I tell her that I don't have plans to run away, but I'm also tired of having to lie, lying to her, to friends to myself. 

 

"I was born like this. Despite your denials, I was and I can't be any other way", my mother looks ready to interject with disapproval but I continue. " I'm not a bad person am i?" I question my mother only to receive whiplash from the change in direction of our conversation. "Have you been seeing Park Jinyoung? is that why you're like this?" my mother ignorantly assumes. I lose my patience. "Yes. I have been seeing hyung" my mother takes a deep breath. She tries to calmly talk to me but i can tell that she is bothered. " Kunpimook sometimes older men like younger people because they are easily manipulated" I grimace at how I felt she was trying to paint my trusted elder

 

"STOP!" I warn my mother. "Jinyoung hyung is not like that! He is already with someone", my mother's reaction is that of plain disapproval. Just like Jimin had showed me, I would no longer sit by and watch as ignorance was flung at people I cared for "He is working and paying his way, hes with one person and faithful" even though admitting it hurts, I would defend the elder. Its a shame that he wasn't faithful to the one person he needed to be", she childishly mutters. Frustrated by mother pettiness, I walk past her and head to the door but feel a grip on my arm. I turn to see my mother pulling me back, the look on her face, she looks concerned. I sigh feel a pang of guilt for making her feel this way, but sticking to my guns I stare her down.

 

"For someone who claims to follow the word of god you don't treat the man who found your son well, the man who risked his life". This seems to work as intended cause unlike before when talking of Jinyoung she does not look disapproving. She listens as I keep speaking,"Cause despite what I have told you, the people i was involved with were dangerous but he risked his life. His life isn't less worthy because he is a sinner in your eyes". My mother is briefly quiet, as if she were taking in the weight of my words. "You're right, the divorced woman talking down on the man who saved her son", she apologises for her behaviour.

 

"Mum, I know you don't get it and you might never do, but its who I am" I try to explain my sexuality to my mother."You can't be anyone else?" My mother asks, I know its genuine question. "This is going to be a difficult life for you my precious son" her eyes brim with tears, her voice shaken with worry. Suddenly I realise its not just her religion and the bible she has based her judgements on. Admittedly it wouldn't be easy but, "I need to breathe comfortably, I can't do that while lying about myself. I don't want to use a friend like Jimin and Yerin" I try to explain. We hadn't been talking too long but already my mother looked drained, her shoulders slump in defeat but she reaches out and hugs.

 

In my mother's always warm embrace I feel safe, as she strokes through my hair and pats my back. I relax in her arms and briefly we stay like this, she tells me she won't understand it... "Not now but maybe one day", but she will always love me. After a tearful embrace my mother excuses herself first and I take a few minutes to gather myself. After a while it hits me that I had just come out to my mother, knowing that leaves me feeling lighter with a weight off of my shoulders.

 

As I make my way out to the mall I receive a call from the unknown number, I reluctantly answer it and regret it. It turns out to be Joongki, to my surprise he has number. He apologises explaining that has to stay behind and help his parents cover a shift at their shop but he can't meet with him. Its disappointing, I am is disappointed. Even when the call is done I feel the disappointment linger,I wonder why did I really want him as a friend that bad. Was it just his friendship I wanted, after all even if I found the zombie look like cute, there was no way he felt anything similar for me. No, the best thing I could aim for was friendship, plus it was Jinyoung I wanted right? 

 

That night I meet with Jimin as intended, its just the two of us due to Kitae and Yerin deciding to bail out on a last minute date. Jimin and I don't spend much time at the mall, but as we do our normal rounds window shopping. I reveal my coming out story to her and thankfully her reaction is good, "wow thats brave of you" she comments. "It just came out of nowhere"I explain my loss of temper and following emotional verbal diarrhea. "It must have been hard for your mother" Jimin sympathises. I had to agree, I knew it would be hard for her, but the truth need to come and our tension needed to be addressed. "Congratulations Kunpimook, you have a lot of courage" Jimin both compliments and teases me. "Let's celebrate my congratulations", I suggest to which Jimin perks up to. "Oooh how?" 

 

It was nothing spectacular but I decide to take my best friend her to eat wherever to the Thai restaurant where Jinyoung said he worked. I had been hoping to see him, but as we sit and wait for our food to be made, there is no sign of the gorgeous employee. Instead we meet the beautiful owner Nichkhun who Jinyoung had earlier referred to. Jimin explains that I too was from Thailand and the pair of converse in Thai, admittedly it was great to speak my mother tongue. I often spoke in Korean with my mother and my friends and at school. Nichkhun is overjoyed to meet another country man in me and without hesitation begins to addresses as as if I was a younger sibling, he like a little is immediately very affectionate to Jimin and I. She too eats it all up, she grins from ear to ear finding the attention of the elder something hard to resist.

 

As Jimin and I leave the restaurant, bellies full and mood up, Jimin teases me playfully. "I haven't seen you look that comfortable ever... Plus he's cute, maybe you could pursue him"Jimin playfully nudges me. I grin amused and inform her that he is a happily married man, "what a shame, a beautiful man like him getting swept up before I could meet Jimin", she jokes. I laugh and the pair of us try and figure what kind of wife he has,"wouldn't she match his style, laid back californian babe?" I suggest but Jimin disapproves. " No no no, wouldn't they need balance? She must be a spunky loud mouth who wears the pants?" she suggests.

 

We go back and back and forth like this as we make our way home, I knew more than anyone I was truly comfortable with Park Jimin. Arms hooked with mine she leans her head on my shoulder, "ah what a relief, I was worried that your mood would be really stinky earlier"she calmly comments. "I know you've had a hard time, especially today" she carefully approaches the topic. "It was a big day. But it feels like there's something more. Something that you're keeping to yourself". She doesn't push further instead after a cpuole of minutes of comfortable silence I speak up. Sheepishly I admit to not feeling desirable, "after all the ones i want. They don't seem interested". 

 

"Are you talking about the priest?" Jimin questions me. "He's not a priest but yes... He doesn't seem to see me in the way I want", I gloomily admit this truth. "Not that I can blame him, I must have something wrong with me", self deprecating, I admit. "Or you could be nearly a decade younger than him and like most adults he doesn't date teenage boys", Jimin teases me with a playful nudge. "The age difference isn't that big" I retort, but I know she's partly right, to Jinyoung I must look like a toddler but what about people my own age? "Perhaps do you're talking about Park Joongki?", surprised that she knew that I turn to see Jimin who grins. As expected Jimin knew me well, I complain about bim not making it earlier. "Well it could be that he's straight. Or he was actually busy", despite the excuses I make, at the pit of my stomach it feels like much more. 

 

Jimim and I share a vulnerable moment, she opens up and admits she knows what its like to feel undesired by the one you like. "But you know what my mother says" she pauses briefly looking unsure but eventually resumes. "She says even if Kunpimook doesn't like you in that way, although he's crazy to" she makes herself transparent and vulnerable in that moment. I had suspected she felt more for me, but it made nervous hearing this confirming."You're still Park Jimin, you have more to offer the world than being liked by him", I feel a pang of guilt despite my cards being on the table I had neglected her feelings. However Jimin wasn't trying to guilt trip me or make me feel bad, she was just being the honest friend that I had become so fond of.

 

"Mookie. You have a lot to offer the world than being liked, you are a smart, funny and talented dancer" I blush flattered at such compliments, it was nice to know that someone say me in that light."You can succeed", Jimin says with supportive smile a firm squeeze of my arm. I smile grateful for her words of encouragement, they don't erase all my doubts but they make me feel so much better, I need it and I needed Jimin in my life. She had been the only person who had ever stuck by my side regardless, I reach for her shoulder and pull her in close to me into my arms. 

 

Jimin relaxes into my arms and wraps her arms around my waist, she squeezes tightly. We're not in the embrace long when I feel my shoulders harshly tugged back and away from Jimin, I turn to face the culprit. I'm surprised to see the face I hadn't seen up close in a long while, it was off looking Yugyeom. Surprised I watch him and ask what the hell he was doing here and what he wanted from me, "I've been calling you, but it keeps saying you're disconnected. I've emailed you-", I try to stay calm. He looked really angry and he seemed to be in one of his moods.

 

When meeting Yugyeom, he had been such a kind, playful and affable guy. With him I could trust the truth to, he was my shelter from all of what I had run from, and he was fun and someone I really loved. However a few weeks before he suddenly disappeared, he had become hard to be around, he was irritable, jealous, possessive and more violent.He was acting strange, scary and he wasn't the boy I had fallen for. He had suddenly left and we had no contact since then not till the week before after the mall. Something wasn't right with Yugyeom and I knew it would be best to stay away from him, that he wasn't like before. Back in the present he stood in front of me, in a some skinny jeans that fitted tightly to his thighs, with that he wore converses and a bag black hoodie. He looked lowkey, unlike his normal flashy style.

 

Yugyeom admits that he had lost his patience and finally tracked me down. "You're healthy, what a relief",he says with a bright smile, he outstretched his arms reaching for my shoulders pulls into a hug. Cold, he really felt quiet cold, not just his body but there was something else that made me feel so uncomfortable. "I really missed my baby" he whispers in my ear, I frown disapproving and push him at his chest away, I didn't want this."Baby why are you being like this?", he asks looking genuinely confused, like he had no idea why i was being like this. Like he hadn't lead me into the dangerous lifestyle at the mansion and he had left the mansion without a word. He left me alone to be hurt like that and now he has left he wants to show his face? 

 

"Yugyeom, I don't want to see you again", his face contorts in pain, as if he had been dealt a blow. I obviously still cared the younger, just by watching his hurt reaction, I felt a swell of guilt, but I could not back down any longer. "Why Kunpimook? Are you satisfied lying to yourself, are you going to be straight boy cause mummy said?" he says with a scoff. I sigh and try to ignore him turning to Jimin who had been quiet all this time, I reach for her arm to lead her away. However Jimin speaks up, "what Kunpimook does, its none of your business". Yugyeom suddenly snaps and eyes filled with anger, he zones in on Jimin and in a blink of an eye he reaches for Jimin's. He grabs her by the neck and lifts her off of the floor choking her.

 

"Stop it Yugyeom", Jimin looks gripped by fear, she fights for his breath and he tries to to wiggle out his grip but surprisingly fails. Then suddenly it hits me, I realise what he was, my heart races out of fear cause he really was a danger. I try to push Yugyeom and plead for him to stop, but despite my protests Yugyeom looks mad and uncontrolled. "Please. Yugyeom don't!!" I smack into his back but he holds onto Jimin who is now turning paler and paler. "Kunpimook. You need to get rid of her, and other people like her, they won't let you be who you ar-" mid sentence I see Jimin suddenly falling to the floor.

 

Jimin gasps desperate for air, I rush to her side and check up on her she trie to catch her breath. When I look up to look at Yugyeom, he was struggling to move, his wrist is being held by Jinyoung hyung. Surprisingly my heart flutters at this sight, what was he doing here and how was he able to keep Yugyeom controlled in his grip. "Who the fuck are you?", Yugyeom complains, he looks in pain and Jinyoung holds his hands. Jinyoung keeps his strong stance and holds the younger he looked so strong, brave and cool he frowns disapproving. He warns Yugyeom to leave. "Or what, what will you do if I don't leave?" he tries to confront the elder. "I know a lot of police officers, maybe they could come round here to see you", there is a tense face off until Yugyeom relents and finally leaves. To my relief, Jinyoung decides to escort both of us home, we drop off a traumatised Jimin who I apologise to profusely but she hugs more close and reassures me that she's fine.

"Don't go back to him Kunpimook, he is very dangerous", Jimin warns me, the vision of Yugyeom's uncontrolled range and choking my best friend. It flashed through my head, it was shocking to me, that it had happened, but I was definitely done with Yugyeom. "Don't worry. I won't" I reassure her and pat her on the back and home her until she pulls away and thanks both Jinyoung and I for walking back with her. She especially thanks Jinyoung who had been saved the both of us, he warmly smiles and pats her on the head affectionately. " Are you sure you don't want to report it to the police?" Jimin shakes her head she watches me and I feel a pang guilt. Was she holding back because of me?

 

"Anyway, good night both of you"she says before heading inside of her home, leaving me alone with Jinyoung. I walk with Jinyoung hyung to my house, he insisted on escorting me home. Surprised by his strength and him being my here, Jinyoung explains that he was heading from work on the way home and spotted the tense situation. He asks about the situation earlier, "no boys should be grabbing women up like that so easily". I talk and reveal my problems with Yugyeom and he listens, "hes not like he used to be". Jinyoung tells me to be more careful and to call me in case of emergency.My heart flutters, call him? Even though he stated it would only be for an emergency, I am excited at this little opening. I thank him and unable to resist and hug him close, he gives me a tight reassuring hug. I feel him pat my back sigh relieved, feeling safe in his arms.

 

"Hyung" I ask suddenly, "oh yes?" he replies, I feel his breath tickling down my neck. "You're...strong" I mention, I was slightly suspicious how he had managed to immobilise Yugyeom like that. "Am I?" he asks nonchalantly, he chuckles and jokes that he had been at the gym recently. He didn't feel comfortable enough to reveal what I suspected about him and I let it go, I would let him come clean in his own time and so I let it go. As we get close to my house I get more desperate to find any kind of excuse to stay with him longer. Especially when Jinyoung expresses that he won't leave until he sees me enter the house. I try to take advantage of this and talk to him, however its obvious that his patience was quickly waning.

 

Jinyoung's attention is stolen when he receives a call, his face lights up just looking at the caller ID. I catch a glimpse at a picture of the mall boy, it looked like a candid pick that Jinyoung took. I try to veil my jealousy with a smile and let the elder take a call, my jealousy flares up watching the older coo to his lover. "I'm gonna be a little late, something came up", I grimace at the thought of being a bothersome thing that had chewed up his time. Jinyoung promises his lover that he would be on his way, his sounded so happy and excited. This late at night it seems pretty obvious what the pair will be up to tonight.

 

Once he has hung up Jinyoung reaches for my shoulder pushing me towards my house,he ushers me to head home. I reluctantly allow him to do so but last minute at rhe pathway of the house, I turn to Jinyoung quickly. My jealous mind forces me to blurt out a personal question, I ask if Jinyoung loves this him, if he loves Youngjae. Jinyoung chuckles in response and asks why I wanna know, I don't give an answer feeling embarassed. "Goodnight" I tell him before heading down the path. As I make my way home, I hear Jinyoung call my name. I whip around to the elder and try to control my excitement, what did he want?

 

Jinyoung clears his throat and speaks up, "life may seem unbearable now. what I have now, one day you'll have" he says with an encouraging smile that crushes me. I nod my head wordlessly turn away and head home, If I spoke I would have probably confessed my love to him or something stupid. So I rush ahead inside of the house, I didn't want to embarrass him or myself with this unrequited love. I rush straight up to my room, and lock the door behind me and stay in the dark. I stay up that night with a lot to think about and a lot of thoughts circling my mind and I can't sleep as well as I would like to. 

 

The next day despite my desire to stay in bed all day and avoid the world outside, my mother's threats to enter my room force me up and into the shower. Forty minutes later I am washed cleaned and begrudgingly head downstairs to have my breakfast. Earlier than expected I am greeted by judgmental expression, I had expected that expression from one of my peers concerning Hongseok's lecture yesterday. Worse yet, I grimace at the thought of what Jimin would be thinking now that the events of last have settled in her head. She was probably upset, at Yugyeom, my connection to him and my weakness when it came to her. I had checked my emails and had seen he had left a half hearted apology.

 

However the damage was done, he had done something reprehensible and horrible and I didn't want him in my life, I would tell Jimin this and hope she would forgive me. I hoped that she would be happy to know there were no longer any lingering feelings, from now on I would do my best to avoid situations like that again. "Kunpimook?" my mother snaps in front of my face bringing me out of my train of thought. She still wear her look of judgement, "what were you doing with Park Jinyoung". I pause panicked, had she seen us outside yesterday? I had thought she was in her room alone, but apparently not. Her expression shows disapproval when I confirm this, "what were you doing with him, i thought you were meeting with that man?" she spits disapproving.

 

I explain that we had bumped into each other, keeping put th altercation with Yugyeom, not wanting to explain all the complicated aspects I keep it brief. However my mother is suspicious, she asks if he was doing something untoward, the pause I leave before answering gets her her up and angry as she threatens to report Jinyoung. I tell her her the truth, even though I wished what she had said was half true cause then it would mean he desired me. "Mum, why are you being like this, I told you Jinyoung is a good man" I complain, I express my concern that it seemed like she had back tracked on our truce. Guilt flickers across her features sighs and apologises.

 

"I'm sorry Kunpimook, I was just so worried... When you left..." her voice trembles as she looks to close to tears."I was so worried about what those people did to you, i wondered if you could return to me the good boy that you once were". Understanding my mothers feelings, I go around the table and pull my mother into my embrace. "I realise how difficult it must be for you and... If Jinyoung is someone who you trust... Then i am inclined to trust.him, after all she did save my baby". This wouldn't be the last chapter of our mother son conflict, I knew she still hope that my sexuality was a phase, so I would have to be patient and give her time to understand. She kisses my cheek and strokes my face and doesn't free m of her grip until i have to rush to school.

 

On my way the way to school with Jimin, we sit on the back of the bus hidden from everyone discussing the events of lst night. She was dressed in her normal school uniform with the addition of a turtle neck, she admits Yugyeom's attack on her had left bruises on his neck. I was pissed and would never remember that I would forgive him, he had changed and was so full of rage, it actually sacred me. I was secretly worried that he would find me alone and attack me, he was not the once warm hearted and cheerful boy I had met, this Yugyeom was cold-blooded. I needed to be more careful in the future, I reach over to stroke Jimin through her hair and promise to do better for her in the future. "Aigoo, my hero!" she teases and leans into the side of my body. Jimin reassures me that she does not blame me for what had happened last night, "you're a victim too". I can't help but really wonder, was I victim or had i bought this on myself?

 

Jimin and I walk into the school building when suddenly I hear my name called out by familiar voice, when I turn around i see Joongki and Hongseok approaching Jimin and I, they were so good looking. "Good morning Kunpimook, Jimin" Hongseok gives a bright and friendly greeting. Jimin and I politely reply, I see Joongki in the corner of my eye. Laid back as usual he looks cool and smiles nonchalantly, meanwhile Hongseok is chipper and checks up on us both. He insists that if I had trouble with any other students, he assures me he's there if I need help. His words all seem genuine, I thank him also genuine because I appreciated it. I didn't what would happen in the future but it would be nice to have a friend like him in my corner. "Whoa Jimin, you look very cute again today", Hongseok compliments Jimin who blushes in response. He wraps his arm around her shoulders, "come on, lets make everyone jealous with our couple visuals" Hongseok ushers Jimin away before she can complain, leaving Joongki and I alone. 

 

"Aish really, he makes things obvious", Joongki mutters with a grin on his face. I suddenly become nervous when I realise it was just the beautiful Park Joongki and I alone. Well we were stood near the gates of the school, but there weren't many students nearby, "He's a good guy though" Joongki suddenly admits . He explains during my leave, Hongseok single handedly crushed all the school bullies he fought groups of them and became the big man on campus. "He has a no nonsense policy" Joongki says half joking but also sounding impressed, "he is one of the good guys" he adds. I had to agree, and suddenly the change in people's attitudes made sense, with the bullies crushed they probably weren't pressured to join in, hence. The generally easier time I was having at school since my return. 

 

"Wouldn't he make a good cop, depending the weak against life's bullies?" Joongki jokes. Last night flashes through my head, I ask if he thinks I'm weak. "I didn't say that" he calmly replies, but i wonder out loud maybe if I had been stronger then I could have defended myself and never had to leave in the first place and I could have defended Jimin last night. "Last Night? What happened last night?", he becomes concerned ."Is that why she's wearing a turtle neck near enough in summer?", I ignore his words and I reassure him its all fine, despite not being really sure myself. 

 

"Sorry...about last night" Joongki manoeuvres the change of topic, he apologises for cancelling on me last night he complains about helping his mother at her work. "My mother bless her soul is a ditz, I had to help clean up a pantry which had this huge leak" he goes further into detail. "Dude, I had to clean up this fizzy soda that coated the whole room, gross!" He complains with a lopsided grin. My heart flutters a little, more so when he asks how I spent my afternoon and he looks and watches me intently as I reveal my simple plans leaving out the Yugyeom confrontation. Gladly he doesn't catch on to my ommission and he comments on how amazing the food at Nichkhuns place is.

 

As we walk to class we're deep in discussion on some of our favourite meals and the general atmosphere of the place. Talk surprisingly moves onto from the aesthetic of the place to that of its owner. "He's good looking too, the owner", He casually comments much to my surprise, "is there something in the Thai water i wonder?. I blush, is he really flirting with me or am I getting my hopes high? A grin stays on his face, "you're cure when you blush" he teases. No, he was flirting or he was being a shithead and messing with me, I couldn't really tell, this didn't feel real. 

 

"I'll lay the cards on the table for you" Joongki says casually slinking hid arm around my shoulder. In the corridor I notice the eyes of other students on me, however Joongki continues. This time I feel the tickle of his breath on my neck as he whispers in my ears, " I'm not about to come out and wave my rainbow flag around. But... I like you", he pulls away briefly to watch my response. "Are you cool with that?" he checks, unable to resist I nod my head, of course I was more than okay with it. Joongki grins wider, his beautiful canines showing, "I want to see you this afternoon. After school at the coffee shop. Are you down?" My heart skips a beat, it takes me about a minute to process it, which he spends patiently walking with me he strolls by me ever so casually not pushing me for an answer. I agree it to it. Hell I have to do my best not to be too eager and ecstatic, I was happy.

 

"Good. Do well!" Joongki says fondly petting my hair and turning to head off to his home room class. I give it a minute to recover myself mentally, as I head off to home room i have to internally tell myself i was more than being liked, I had a lot to offer to the world. However admittedly it felt good, even if he wasn't Jinyoung, Joongki was still someone I liked, and he liked me. It was simple. Right?


	13. Married?

Youngjae's POV

The time ticks and it feels like the pressure is crushing me, I had stressed myself many days and nights. Days spent in the library with my set up of books, meanwhile at night with the support of my handsome boyfriend he has helped me. "Youngjae don't be like this. You can't give up" Jinyoung encourages me, he sits across the room in order to evade my tempted hands. He had stopped three attempts on my part to give up on studying and start up sex, he wouldn't give in to my attempts to seduce him. "Now answer my question sweet petal" he asks another question and helps me through and encourages me. Despite his busy schedule he was being like that, despite the awful boring questions he had to ask, I still felt fortunate that I had him to get through this with. "I believe in you Choi Youngjae!" 

 

The next day as I leave the exam hall I feel dread in the pit of my stomach, I had failed and wouldn't get my degree and have failed my parents and their hard earned money. I was a disappointment in more ways than one, I feel arms wrap up behind me around my waist. “Chin up sweetie" I hear a voice whisper in my ear, surprised recognising the voice and turn. Its Wooyoung hyung, as usual the elder was dressed to the nines. Extremely dapper in what looked pink designer suit, tailored to his slender body, paired with a light blue dress shirt. His look is tailed with impression brown crocodile leather shoes, and topped with quaffed hair from his forehead. For a coffee shop owner he was incredibly well dressed and what the heck was he doing here, he stuck out like a really sore thumb.

 

"Were you expecting it to be Yien?" Wooyoung pokes fun, with a wide grin spread across his handsome face. "I swear sometimes that boy is like your belt, always tied around you", he remarks with a grin showing his beautifully lined up teeth. "Hyung what are you doing here?" I ask confused but Wooyoung skips past my question as he greets me warmly but something about his grin hid something mischievous. "Hyung what are you doing here?" I repeat my question. He says he was here to visit one of his ladies, "she's a lecturer here, a cute little thing. Little in height but very curvaceous". I try and rack my brain to figure out who he could be talking about, but I can say I recall any lecturers who looked like that, maybe she wasn't in my department. 

 

"If my teachers were this hot back in my day I might have gone to school more often" he jokes, he wraps his arm around my shoulder. "Also Yien told me you had an exam today, what did he say? Oh yeah that you would be acting like a total loser ripping your hair out or poking your nose when you get stressed". I protest, I do not rip my hair out! "So you poke your nose then?" Wooyoung teases, before I can protest again, he offers to buy me meat. I raise my eyebrow as if to question the sudden kind offer, not that Wooyoung wasn't a good person, he had hired me and my awkward self. However he always stated that I was a concept he was selling, “awkward modest oppa who doesn't know he's cute, girls will eat that shit up!". Wooyoung was a businessman, a stingy business man who counted all his coins and frugal beyond belief. So this offer to buy me a meal was out of the ordinary, but the offer of meat sure enough was too tempting and intriguing for me to decline. 

 

Half an hour later the pair of us are sat in front of a sizzling grill, Wooyoung had as promised bought us both meat. I as the younger was in charge of preparing the food, not that I minded much, I was getting a free meal after all. It was slightly strange just being the two of us, we had only ate together a few times but that was in a group settings, usually at Christmas. I wasn't uncomfortable however, Wooyoung was so laid back and charming and reminded me somewhat a little of my older brothers combined. Outgoing and funny like Jinwoon, whilst being straight forward and sarcastic like Junhyuk. As we talk of my busy schedule weans, after a few minutes of complaining, about school and work but not complaining too hard cause he was my boss. 

 

Wooyoung changes the subject into something which we never talked about, "I hear you have a boyfriend". Suspicion pricks me at the sudden interest in my personal life, Wooyoung hyung although a good guy was also someone who was honestly too self-involved to care about the personal business of his staff. Not that I minded much, I wasn't a someone who shared of any information that wasn't necessary. Apart from Yien, no one in my life knew I was in a relationship, well at least I had thought so.

"Yien tells me you're dating someone, the pretty boy that comes in sometimes", he comments casually and waits as if he was waiting for me to fill him. I simply nod my head to confirm giving no real details, "life is good", and it was. I was busy as all heck but I was heading toward a path that I was happy with, I was doing well academically, as well as I could professionally and Jinyoung was a brilliant boyfriend.

 

"I hear he had an interesting past" he says with a smirk whist leaning over to take a piece of sizzling meat onto his plate. He blows on his chopsticks and then commences eating, he blows the food in his mouth quickly chewing the food. It looked delicious but it doesn't distract me from his question, he was never around the shop enough to have seen Jinyoung. And why was he so interested? "Have you been talking to Yien?” I ask suspiciously, but Wooyoung simply grins. “No. Actually word gets around when a priest quits his service to be with another man" I blush at the thought that Jinyoung and I were part of the rumours mills.

 

Fortunately Wooyoung doesn't dig further on that subject as he continues to eat, he even reaches over to fluff my hair playfully and feeding me. It was strange, I had never seen him this warm and friendly side of him but he continues on. Showing me more and more affection, and it suddenly starts to worry me, was he getting some weird ideas. "Hyung what are you doing, why are we here?" I ask losing my patience now that I was no longer starving. He chuckles amused, "I was wondering how long it would take you, your patience is more than I thought” he teases. "You're never like this, you're freaking me out" I explain much to his amusement. Do you know him, where was he from, what is this Jark Pinyoung’s history? “I don't bother to correct him and wonder why he is so freaking concerned about me? 

 

"Sometimes the we rush into things without really knowing the person we're with", I get a strange chill up my back at those words, what does he know that I don't. Be careful, before I can further question him, Wooyoung gets up on his feet and brushes his thighs, "it’s been good Youngjae" he tells me he has to go and meet his woman and leaves. Wooyoung leaves me with a bunch of questions left on my mind, he was being awfully mysterious for someone I had always thought of as an open book. Wooyoung was suspicious, but he was my boss and I didn't need to cross any lines and risk my job unnecessarily. 

 

Later that night in order to keep my mind off of my exams, I clean up the whole apartment. From top to bottom, from Yien's room to mine, I clean in hopes of distracting myself and am kind if disgusted with what I see. Even though we were still young men, there was a lot of gross stuff that we had let pass, meals in take out that we had left to rot without cleaning, dirty underwear left in different places. 

 

When I'm finished with cleaning, I head to the shower to clean the apartment off of me. As I let the water wash over me, I feel strong arms wrap around me, I jump startled half suspecting its Yien. When I turn I see my equally naked and now wet tired looking Jinyoung, "petal, hyung is here" he says stroking my face gently. I smile and hug the elder letting the water wash over us, his arms wrap around my waist pulling me closer to him. Jinyoung and I both tired catch up for the day, I was so comfortable with him.

 

We had ended up at Jinyoung's place after an invitation for football and food with Jackson and Jia, it felt like the pair were family. Older siblings who treated me so well, made me feel comfortable and sometimes it even felt that they were more on my side than on Jinyoung's. I was appreciative of their kindness towards to Jinyoung and I, they were seriously some of the warmest people in existence. As Jackson and Jinyoung prepare the food pre match, Jia lays comfortably on the sofa using my lap as a cushion for her head. We discuss home towns, Jia had a way of getting any information she wanted. I quietly open up to her and explain my issues with my family, she sincerely listens watching me intently as a mother would her child.

 

Jia was the voice of a caring elderly sister, she reaches up to stroke through my hair. "Be patient Youngjae, they will come back to you. You are their son", she says reassuringly, her warmth reminds of my mother. “In the meantime you have Jinyoung, Yien, Jackson and I" she says turning onto her side still using my lap ad her pillow. "She's right! Didn't approve of me being with noona" Jackson adds, as he brings over the home made fries and chicken on a tray. "They think she's too old for me" he says laying down the tray and taking a seat on the recliner nearby. "Too old?" I look down to Jia who giggles pretends to be shy covering her face. She didn't look that much older than Jackson, she was two or three years older at best I assumed. 

 

"You'd be surprised just how old this noona is “Jia teases, lifting her head up and sitting upright on the sofa next to me. "Wow, I'm really hungry!" Jia exclaims as she looks at the delicious food in front of her. I look up for Jinyoung and see him approach with a tray of drinks for all of us, we had half an hour before the game started, it would be enough to get ourselves fed. As my stomach grumbles I realise the need was becoming more apparent, Jinyoung places down his tray on the coffee table and reaches over to fluff my hair affectionately. ”Eat up petal, you've had a long day", he says warmly before delivering a kiss to my forehead, something that sets off Jackson "ewwww Jinyoung! I'm trying to eat!" "Then eat!" Jia counters shoving a drumstick stick into his open mouth, causing us to all laugh.

 

It was comfortable, I was comfortable with them all, best yet I was comfortable with Jinyoung, my Jinyoung. I smile and reach over to squeeze Jinyoung's shoulder, before turning my attention to the food. The night that follows is a chilled out and fun, definitely what I needed right now. My team may not have won, but I was fine to be consoled by older. His soft and comforting kiss, warm and strong body which I clung to, and his arms that wrapped around. Sometimes it felt like I belonged there, like I had been created just to fit in the empty space of his arms. But as happy as I was, something was bothering me, I couldn't say what though but it was really annoying me.

 

The next morning I wake up to find myself in an empty bed, where the body of my boyfriend should be is a note. I groan and rub the sleep out of my eyes before picking the note up and reading it.

 

"Morning my dearest Choi Youngjae, well at least I hope its morning, you have work at midday. I hope you work hard today, but don't push yourself too hard"  
I grin at the irony, he was busy nowadays working at the restaurant and now he was helping Jackson with his case. Yet he was thinking of me and my health, how lucky was I?  
"Keep up some energy for hyung, so he can do the things he likes. Love Jinyoung"

 

My face starts to ache due to how hard I was smiling, not only at the promise of sex tonight, but the "love". Knowing that Jinyoung returned that kind of feeling, it was something I had never imagined possible that first night we met. That was nearly a year ago, it was funny how time had passed and how much had happened since then. I yawn and stretch out not quite ready for the day, but I had no choice but to get up and head out for the day.

 

Before I head out of the apartment, I find Jia in the kitchen, she forces me to sit down and to eat with her. She worries about me she notices my behaviour from last night, "You were still you... But a little different", she says kind of vaguely. "You seemed a little distracted" she comments and asks if I was curious about something. "Jinyoung hyung has been really busy recently", that wasn't my concern, but I figured this would seem a reasonable excuse. Jia tells me that Jinyoung has been working hard, "there have been up to 5 unsolved murders which have a similar link and it’s believed to be linked to the JB".

 

I had become aware of this through the news, but Jinyoung never really went to detail how he was involved and what he was doing. I assumed it was some cop rule to keep the case under wraps, I didn't argue against it because the thought of these sudden killings scared me somewhat. "Jinyoung is working hard to make sure that this world is safe enough for you to walk on Choi Youngjae, trust in him. He may not be here right now but he'll always be here for you", the elder does her best to assure me.

 

Before heading to work I go home to get showered and changed. However as I rush past the kitchen to my room, I walk in to Yien and a random guy on the kitchen counter, both were buck naked in the middle of what looked like a passionate fuck session. There is a brief pause and look at me as Yien greets me, and introduces me to the man behind him, a big tall razor faced guy with a bad boy look. I politely greet the naked stranger and excuse myself into my room, it wasn't the first time I had walked in on Yien and any sex partner but it didn't make less comfortable to see. 

 

There had been a sudden cut in communication between Yien and Suji, more so on Suji's part. She had been ignoring his calls and instead of moping about it, Yien was fucking anything that walked. He wasn't like me, he didn't spend months trying to figure out what went wrong, let alone discuss it with me. He was dealing with it the best way he knew how, so I wouldn't interrupt until I saw this getting dangerous. For now I excuse myself and get dressed before leaving for work, the two still going at it this time in the bedroom by the time I exit to get to work.

 

Today like most, the buyer of my lunch the day before, Wooyoung is not at work. It was just Yerin, another employee Segi and I manning the coffee shop today. Later on in the day there is a lull of customers which leaves the employees to keep themselves busy. Yerin uses this opportunity to complain about her boyfriend Kitae being too busy with school and after school activities as well as helping his family's business. 

 

Although it’s selfish of her to feel this way she admits that she does, "Is it bad that I want to spend time with him? Where neither of us is tired and we both in a good mood, no school, work or family obligations in the way?” Her words resonate with me so much so that I make some plans with Jinyoung, he had called me during my brief break to tell me that he was busy tonight but thankfully he had a day off and I would make the most of it.

 

When I get back home Yien is not home, he didn't have school for a while so recently he was either working or hanging out with his friends with benefits. I try to push down the little flutters of worry, Yien would settle down eventually, but he had never been this hurt before. Was his pride hurt about being left by Suji or was he just so hurt because he had fallen for her? 

 

"Settle down please hyung", I say with a sigh and flop down on my bed. I try calling Yien's phone and am met with his voicemail, "I'm too busy, call me later. If you're Youngjae then leave a message or give me your heart". I roll my eyes and leave a message, asking for him to get back with me. To at least send me a text telling me he's fine "don't make me too worried" I end the message.

 

Soon after I take a shower ready for my night's sleep and when I leave my ensuite bathroom I hear my phone beeping. My heart flutters with concern, Yien hadn't been gone long but why was I worried like this? I dive across and belly flop onto my bed, when I check my phone, I'm disappointed to find that it’s Jaebum.

 

"Tokyo is beautiful you would like it", attached to the text is a picture of a Tokyo skyline. I frown and put my phone down ignoring the text still feeling annoyed, Jaebum was treating what happened to me in the mansion as if it hadn't happened. He had rushed off to Tokyo on business and I hadn't seen him since, despite my attempts to confront his sudden disappearance he seemed to be doing his best to skip past the subject. So yes, I was annoyed, he hadn't given me an apology that felt genuine. 

 

Later I sit down to try and study, but my mind is so busy that I jump at the chance of having an excuse to avoid it. That excuse comes in the form of a phone call, I assume that it’s Jinyoung calling goodnight. However it turns out to be my brother, not Jinwoon but Junhyuk. "Hey punk! Now you want to answer your calls?” Junhyuk yells loudly. “What kind of bastard avoids the calls of his brothers like this?" unlike the sweet approach Jinwoon took, Junhyuk was a rougher speaker. I grew up on the receiving end of many a tongue lashings and few beatings. 

 

“Do I have to call you? The phone works both ways" he scolds me. I sigh and decide to apologise to him, admittedly I did miss him, Jinwoon, my sister Sooyoung her kids, and my parents. I missed them all so much, we talk briefly and catch up. "I met a girl, her name is Soojung. She's really pretty" Junhyuk sounds happy as he describes the pretty girl that was making his heart flutter. He also gives me the low down on Jinwoon and his relationship and a brief update on Sooyoung and family.

 

"We miss you Jae-ah", he pauses seriously and asks me to come back home when my school year ends, but I decline. I was still feeling hurt by the rejection I had received from my parents. I was no longer my parent's child, I had been disowned by my parents and they have not been in contact with me ever since my coming out. "Your feelings were hurt right?" my brothers sympathises sensing my mood. "Remember you have us kid. If our parents can't understand, you have your siblings and friends here” I knew that, but it was nice to hear from him. "I'm not ready yet" I admit genuinely, "don't keep us waiting Youngjae, we miss you" he says before the end of the call. I take deep sigh of relief despite trying to push them away, they were still my family. I close my eyes laying on bed and have one more thing added and swirling through my busy head.

 

Well this was just perfect, just bloody great. It’s not like I had put any effort to put this together, well I didn't put that much effort in I stole some muffins and iced teas from work, I had ordered chicken wraps for the main course and put it into a picnic basket for me and my boyfriend to dine one whilst we spent time together. Weeks had passed and I had no immediate exams and Wooyoung had been kind enough to help me get my shift covered. Jinyoung wasn't as busy either, he had a day off from both his jobs as waiter and part time detective. We were going to be able to spend time together. Awake. Preferably awake but unfortunately that wasn't what was happening.

 

These last few weeks had been busy for the two of us, not only was I juggling exams but work shifts were getting thrown my way and I couldn't say no I cause bills needed paying. Jinyoung had been busier than I juggling his job as a waiter and now helping Jackson find this seedy JB character, he was going all around Seoul knocking on doors looking for answers. It was hectic and I hadn't been able to really enjoy having him as my man, yes we kissed and fucked and stayed up in bed to talk, but as far as romance we were lacking.

 

So I had planned this picnic, it was a Sunday and we were both free, the weather was good and I wanted to make out in the park and make a brand new memory. However after stuffing his face, Jinyoung had taken his place in my arms, he rests his head on my lap as a pillow. Within minutes his beauty eyes closed, he hummed softly before falling asleep and softly snoring. “You’re lucky you're pretty you know that?" I whisper whilst tracing lines across his bushy eyebrows. Still like a statue Jinyoung doesn't stir from his slumber, "what are you dreaming about caterpillar hyung?" I question Jinyoung teasingly while stroking his furry brows.

"Could it be your lovely boyfriend of one month and three weeks and four days who planned a romantic picnic for you?” Jinyoung's expression changes slightly almost in response, his brows knit. He looks like he could be troubled, he whimpers and suddenly I'm really concerned. Especially when his face contorts into a pain expression, "This isn't right, you're not this person...” He mumbles under his breath, I wave my hand in front of his face to check if he was awake. No he doesn't move, apart from his breathing he was still as he was in sleep. He was sleep talking, this was not the first time had done it. Every now and then he would have these dreams, these nightmares which sounded less like he was reliving something.

 

”You can't do this..." he groans his expression still troubled, "can't do what?" I ask hoping in his dream state he could answer me. "NO DON'T!" Jinyoung shouts and suddenly jolts up sitting up but in the process smashes his forehead into mine. I yell out in pain and reach for my forehead, "Youngjae? Shit! Are you okay?!" he queries concerned reaching over to remove my hand from my forehead. I'm greeted with an apologetic looking Jinyoung, "sorry I didn't mean to -" he stops in his tracks and strokes my sore forehead.

"You were having a nightmare", I say but it comes out sounding like an accusation. "Oh its nothi-" I stare down Jinyoung as he readies to reassure me with a lie.   
Jinyoung grins he puts sparkle in his eyes to try and distract me but I reach for the back of his neck and lean my forehead onto his. "I don't like when my boyfriend lies to me, do you know that?" I whisper, I don't want to guilt him into opening up. I just want him to be honest, I was trying not to pry but this dream seemed important and the fact that he never wanted to share it with me it concerned me. 

 

Jinyoung reaches both his hands for the back of my neck and in the blink of an eye he uses the momentum of his body to flip me over and underneath him. "Youngjae... I don't want to talk about it. Please let's drop it" I pout in response, but Jinyoung doesn't back down his face looking serious. However in a blink of an eye he wears a grin on his face, his hand slips downwards under the band of my trousers into my boxers and to cock. "How about we find something to do other than talk. It’s been a few days since I last made you come Choi Youngjae" Jinyoung pulls me into his web of distraction. He spits on his palm before returning to my cock, he plants on my lips to ensure my cooperation. 

 

Fortunately we were in the secluded area of the park, far from anyone's watchful gaze. Plus right it was too late to worry about any eyes trained on me. Not when I this hard and this desperate to fuck him, I seek his lips and fervently kiss my boyfriend desperate for him. As he pumps my length in his fist I notice that he's being a bit hesitant, he's not matching me so I push him away. Despite attempts to linger I push Jinyoung off of me and roll away from underneath him. "Youngjae?" Jinyoung asks after me, when I turn I see him, he looks concerned.

 

"Tell me what happened... What is that you keep dreaming about", full of concern, I plead with my eyes. Jinyoung sighs I can hear the frustration in his voice, “Why do you want to know so freaking bad?" Jinyoung looked bothered and jittery, but I keep pushing, I reach for his hand and stroke it gently. "Hyung, it’s obviously bothering you, I just want to understand-" I'm cut off by Jinyoung who has lost his cool. "Why do you need to understand?” Jinyoung spits at me, he looks shaken and almost scared. 

 

He's hiding something but it seems like he's scared of revealing it, he had never snapped at me like that. One thing I knew about Jinyoung was he had the patience of a saint, he had never raised his tone. Even when he had ranted at me after my close call in the mansion, he never raised his voice at me. I knew I was right to be concerned, so I leap forward at him and wrap my arms around him and pull him into my embrace. Jinyoung's whole body slackens in my arms, he doesn't move but he begins to cry. 

 

Shocked, I had never expected this, Jinyoung had always been so cool and level headed and he rarely showed his vulnerability. It was different from simply admitting he was jealous, he could just laugh that off, and no this was unprecedented. I can hear his muffled sobs in my shoulders, I feel him grip at my shirt desperately. I patiently wait for him, stroking through his hair, I had stepped into something that I might not be able to handle, so I slowly prepare myself.

 

After a couple of minutes of crying he quietens down and slowly pulls away, I reach to stroke his face to wipe over any tears. I don't want to startle him so I silently wait for him to speak up, I knew he had something to share with me. Jinyoung smiles sadly before he stands up, he brushes dust off of his lap and he chuckles slightly before leaning down kiss my forehead ever so softly.

 

Frustrated and disappointed I watch him knowing he's backing down, Jinyoung leans down further to kiss my lips. "Youngjae. I'll always protect you", he says the look in his eyes its serious and intense. I don't know what he means and before I can question him, he reaches for my hands to pull me up. "Come on Youngjae, you have to study and I have a plan I need to put together", a defeated sigh escapes me. Our romantic date had ended, I had sabotaged my own chances of getting laid and now Jinyoung was locked up, this felt like two steps taken back.

 

"Maybe he was married? Yien playfully suggests the next morning in the kitchen when I explain the situation to him, I roll my eyes disapproving of his reply but Suji seems to find it quite hilarious. Suji and Yien had been reunited after a few weeks on break, their reunion was loud and arrogant but Yien seemed to be happy so I didn't mind. As for Suji she seemed a little different, softer and less intimidating. She still looked the same just a little less intense, her biker rock chick look was still there as far as clothes are concerned. Her make-up was not as thick, she had a bold red lipstick that made her lips pop out but overall her make-up was neutral.

 

Yien had been annoyed with the sudden cease in contact, but it hadn't taken her long to charm her way back into his affections. I didn't know exactly what she had done to win him round after leaving him so suddenly but Yien had taken her back. According to Yien she had some personal problems that she needed to work out, he claims that she went through something difficult and he seemed determined to support her. I wasn't quite sure though, something about her concerned me, I guess I was more protective of Yien than I thought. For now I would keep my reservations for myself, meanwhile it wouldn't hurt to talk to her and Yien about Jinyoung. 

 

"So his nightmare is him being married?" Yien continues on with his unamusing joke, I frown at the elder disapproving, Suji smirks amused at my response. "Well yeah. Being married to a woman, isn't that scary?" Yien jokes, he throws back his head as a high-pitched laugh escapes his mouth. Suji playfully pushes him amused, "asshole" she comments to which Yien uses as evidence for his case.

 

"See! The womb havers are so emotional, can't take a simple misogynistic joke", to which Suji fakes a har, before elbowing her older beaux. I clear my throat dramatically like a self-involved brat to gain the attention or the elders, “he was a priest, I doubt he would hide being married from me" to which Yien shrugs casually. "Can you take this seriously please, I know you don't like Jinyoung but... He's not doing great" I plead for his understanding but from Yien's expression he doesn't look to sympathetic to my feelings instead choosing to take a sip from his mug of tea.

 

"Hey don't be like that", Suji warns Yien who rolls his eyes and reluctantly puts down the cup. "Fine" Yien pauses to collect his calm but I can tell he isn't about to nicely address me, he steps up closer to me placing his hands over my shoulders to keep up me still in position. "I like Jinyoung, he has good humour and doesn't take my shit" a smile spreads across my face, I feel a bit of relief. Yien smiles watching me fondly before leaning in to kiss me gently on the lips, I try to pull away. I wasn't comfortable with this, his girlfriend was here but also I was committed to my boyfriend. However Yien grips my face tightly continuing press his lips on mine, I stay still and let the other do whatever he wants. 

 

When he pulls away he watches me and strokes my face, his eyes glued on me but I pull away and turn to Suji for a reaction. Unfortunately she simply looks amused, "you are impatient Choi Youngjae, you've barely known this guy a year and you spent most of that time separated". Yien reaches for my hand and turns me to face him, " you've barely been together long enough to be demanding him to open up like this". I know he's right, but I was impatient and I was worried "WAIT. Wait for him to tell you, and if you can't then break up with him", a feeling of dread settles in my stomach. That was the last thing I wanted to do, "I...I'm scared" I reveal my true feelings. 

 

"Because you're in love. I know" Yien says shows rare empathy, he squeezes my shoulder. “You’ve loved him a lot longer than you're willing to admit" Yien says reading me better than I could ever read myself. If ever I was in denial about something Yien was already five steps ahead of me, he knew me better than I ever could admit to myself." You're in love with this guy and you want him to sort out this problem so you can skip to the flowers and the rainbow, but it’s not going easy", he says earnestly. 

 

Yien reaches and pulls me into a firm hug, "don't self-sabotage kid, you're so good at It" he says patting himself before pulling away from my embrace. He turns to Suji "oppa did good Right?" Yien cutely questions receiving an approving wink from Suji. "Plus don't you have some things to get out of the way, like ending things with that other guy?” Suji comments to which Yien approves. 

 

My cheeks quickly flush up from embarrassment, Yien laughs amused before returning to casually eat his breakfast. "Maybe you could dump one of your boyfriends before you start worrying about the other" Yien teases. They were right, I hadn't even yet broken things off with Jaebum. It’s not that I had been putting things off, but more because I haven't been able to see him. According to a few brief calls, Jaebum had revealed he was in Tokyo doing business with his friend Junho. He explained it had been important and had been back in Seoul a few days, however he had been pretty unreachable these last few days. 

 

Later that day I head off to school, there were no more lectures. So I was making the most of my free time studying and with Suji and Yien back together, the apartment was no longer distraction free. When Yien wanted to play with me, Suji was unlike the normal jealous girlfriends who tried to stop him, no she liked to join. I couldn't concentrate at home, but the fifth floor of the university's library aka the silent zone was perfect for me to just sit down and focus on my work. I manage to make use of two hours, by gaining understanding of a question that was set to be on my next exam. I reward myself by getting a snack in the school cafeteria, on my way towards the food I pass a group friends excitedly discussing a recent night out at the mansion. 

Being the nosy fellow that I am, I eaves drop on a story about the mansion and one of the students close call while waiting in the food queue. The story teller a pretty average looking guy, none threatening, like any oppa next door, the look many people said I had. He reveals he had been there with a friend to support them and their attendance to a LGBT function, but there he saw a ridiculously hot girl"

"She was hot hotter than any girl he had ever met, "she was all over me" he explains but gains sceptical looks from friends. "I never knew that hot girls were easy, she lead me up the stairs to one of the bedrooms" he continues despite protests of disbelief from friends. "I thought the night would end well but this girl is some kind of perv, she was so rough and look" he yanks down his grey knitted sweater to flash large purple bruise on his shoulder. 

 

"This bite. She's crazy, if it hadn't been for some my friend who heard me screaming. I might have died" his friends ooh and ahhh in shock, after all he couldn't have caused that mark by himself. “I’ll never be back to that crazy place again", to the story teller and his friends that story was of a crazy girl with a strange kink but to me it felt like it was more. 

 

My stomach lurches at the thought of how well that story matches mine, the feeling gets worse when I see the bite mark in his neck again as the storyteller proudly flashes it to his friends. I quickly try and shake off the feeling of dread that had built up and head off back to study for a little while, though it’s harder to concentrate as images from the night of my attack flash through my head.

 

At the coffee shop after my somewhat lacklustre attempt to study, I go to work and spot Yerin sat with friends Jimin. The pair are huddled up together gossip hushed about Jimin and her feelings of hurt watching the boy she likes with another. My ears prick up at the gossip. She watches the object of her affection who looked was familiar, he was a tall, dark and pretty handsome kid with a cool individual style. With him another boy who was a little shorter, lean, pale and pretty casually dressed. They sit down for coffee and chatting and judging by their body language it looked like the young boys were flirting, were they on a date?

 

Yerin complains "first it was priest now it’s Joongki, he moves on so quickly". A flash of shock bolts through me as I realise where I recognise the boy from, I had seen him from the church, he was the boy Jinyoung had saved. “It might have been better when he was infatuated with the priest, at least then it was just a crush and it didn't hurt my feelings too much" Jimin mutters sadly before turning to serve a waiting customer. 

 

The younger had liked Jinyoung? He was a good looking kid, part of me feels relief at the thought that it was a one sided love and so I continue to listen. "Now all they do is meet for coffees nearby and talk, this Jinyoung guy is giving him advice or so Kunpimook says", Jinyoung had told me about this, but that was when I didn't know how good looking this kid was. I was a little uncomfortable with it now I knew he was meeting with a handsome boy.  
"It feels like he's slipping away, especially now that he's getting closer to Joongki.

Gorgeous happy go lucky Joongki," Jimin groans and leans into her sympathetic friend who strokes through her hair. "I really hate this, falling in love hurts" Jimin says with a pout. The two quietly speak and Yerin comforts her friend until Wooyoung comes and scolds the pair and orders them to work. He sends Yerin to the back and do stock take leaving Jimin and I to serve customers, however Jimin was looking a little too deflated to work. She looks across the shop enviously the young boys, I watch her concerned and sympathetic I squeeze her shoulder supportively.

 

As I walk home after my shift has ended I bump into a newly familiar face, Kunpimook approaches me greets me and introduces himself. He explains his relationships with Jinyoung, despite me knowing already he was nice enough to give good clarification. “He’s a very good hyung", Kunpimook says fondly, the smile on his face lingers a little bit longer than I am comfortable with. Then he asks how Jinyoung was doing I haven't been able to see him in a while it appears that he's been busy". Although the way he expresses seems casual but the look in his eyes show more.

 

As I tell him about Jinyoung's new busy schedule the younger surprisingly jumps startled, fear flashes across his face and he takes a brief look around before turning to me. “Oh sorry!” Kunpimook admits he's been a bit jumpy recently, "my ex had been troublesome recently and it was leaving my nerves frayed". I watch the younger a bit sympathetic for him, his fears seemed legitimate just by how he was still shaking. "I wish I had enough pocket money for getting hyung as my bodyguard", he jokes. “Hyung defended me against him. My ex Yugyeom is big for our age, he looks like he's in his thirties or something" he comments jokingly but his eyes still show fear.

 

"If hadn't been for hyung Jimin and I might have been toast, Jimin had been involved, had this happened recently? As open as Jimin was about her personal life, the young hadn't mentioned any altercation with Kunpimook's ex. " It would be useful to have hyung around, I'm not sure if my mother would be too happy though" being this open must be a trait of the younger kids nowadays because for a person he just met he was intrusting me with a lot. "She's becoming more open you know, she's no longer in denial as to who I am but still I receive those slights, no marriage, no grandchildren, no family of my own" he continues his verbal diarrhoea. As he speaks I feel some empathy towards him, his story mirror mine in some aspects. 

 

If I remember correctly Jinyoung had told me that the younger had ran away from his mother due to issues with his sexuality. Had their separation lead his mother to rethink her behaviour or at least advance in that direction? I wonder if my situation could be the same. Jinwoon and Junhyuk had always be there and support me, they knew for a long time who I was and never once judged me and always supported me.

 

It had taken my protective older sis Sooyoung some time to come round, her only worry was the stigma I would receive. Unfortunately my parents did not react well, they had judged me and openly condemned me when I had decided to come out, that reaction had hurt and so I had ran back to Seoul with my tail tucked between my legs. "You're not our son any longer" those words still rang in my head haunting and hurting me, but part of me still hoped for a reconciliation between us.

 

Kunpimook and I speak for a few minutes before the boy he was with before calls him out, he politely excuses himself. "It was nice speaking to you hyung" he says with a wave before running away to his mysterious friend. Eventually when I get home I rush to take a shower and half an hour later I head out to meet Jaebum, it was a cafe nearby. It was the cafe we had had our first date, it partly felt fitting for what I was about to do. Although we had been in contact since the incident at the mansion, recently he had been pretty quiet with his updates. 

 

Today was the first time we had had contact in a week, part of me, a big part was still mad with Jaebum. So I don't allow myself to be charmed, I knew he was trying to charm me, the way he greets me is warm. He looked gorgeous as usual, he wore his hair from face showing more of his handsome face, my heart still flutters. He was wearing a white smart dress shirt and some tailored black work trousers with some black loafers. Even though the look was pretty simple, he somehow pulled it off in a manner that not many could. Jaebum was sat waiting with my favourite coffees and muffin, "why are you so goddamned cute Choi Youngjae?" his eyes form crescent shapes paired along his toothy grin.

 

"Hello hyung" I plainly greet Jaebum, he shifts slightly at my reaction before grinning wider. "Ahhh, I'm sensing some lingering resentment. Is this still about the mansion biter or did you just miss me?” he says reaching over to stroke my hand and then strokes my face. "Jae-ah, hyung was wrong. Please forgive me", I pull away from his touch. Whether or not he was apologetic, I wasn't quite sure but the skinship wasn't something I wanted to perpetuate, I had something I had to do and I would do it. "Youngjae. Why are you being like this? I couldn't foresee that chick coming in to bite you like that, I had business to take care of" Jaebum excuses himself indignantly. 

 

"I'm not here because of that hyung" I speak up suddenly, words that seem to intrigue Jaebum. "I can't do this with you anymore. See you anymore" I jump into it without pause. "What do you mean?" Jaebum accuses slightly, "Youngjae are breaking up with me, we're not even dating?" he questions me, his tone sounding surly. "I know I was wrong to leave alone in that place, but that shouldn't scare you off. I'm not going to hurt you" as he speaks he sounds confused and slightly desperate. I feel a pang of guilt, from the beginning I had used him as a companion whom could take my mind from Jinyoung, someone I had thought was good company and was attracted to but never saw a future with. 

 

"It’s not because of what happened. It’s..." I struggle, there was no easy way to do this, but the least I could do was tell him was tell him the truth. "I have a boyfriend" I reveal surprising Jaebum, he silent and offers no reply instead he looks like a cold statue. "I'm sorry, it only happened recently. But... He's a good guy, and I like him" I explain as honestly as I can. Jaebum's jaw tenses the way he did when he was pushing down his frustrations. "I don't want to keep leading you on. So I thought we should meet face to face..."

 

"So you could relieve your conscience how sweet if you!" Jaebum spits bitterly. I watch as a dark cloud looms over me, he was closing me off and there was nothing I could say. I know he was annoyed and there was nothing I could say to make things better, he felt wronged and anything I said now would only be self-serving. So for now, aware that I had ended things I excuse myself, "sorry hyung" I say one last time. However I receive no response, taking that as a sign I head off, with flutters of guilt and regret in my gut. 

 

I felt bad, I felt pretty shitty if I was being honest, and I hadn’t wanted to hurt his feelings like this. As I head on off home I get a call from Jinyoung asking me to meet him at Jackson's place, so like a good little puppy I run off to my owner.

When I reach Jackson and Jia's apartment Jinyoung warmly greets me with a long and lingering kiss, he grabs me by the neck and pulls me inside. Jackson and Jia were both at work leaving us alone in their apartment, however we both head over straight to Jinyoung's bedroom. It had been a while since we had been there since Jinyoung had been staying at my place as of lately. 

 

Jinyoung was definitely being more a bit more affectionate since our unsuccessful picnic date, he lets me lie on my lap. I see stroke through my hair and see the bite on his arm, "Hyung what happened?" I point to his bite. "Ahhh this?" Jinyoung nonchalantly acknowledges the mark. "We went to this club around the corner, there were some overly excited druggies one got a bit too up close and personal" he continues on casually.

 

"Don't worry Petal, it hardly broke my skin" Jinyoung reassures, but an uncomfortable feeling settles in my stomach. "If you're worried how about giving a massage, my shoulders are feeling really stiff" he says with a playful wink. Jinyoung sits up and I sit behind him and wrap my legs around his waist, he leans himself onto and murmurs in pleasure as I massage his shoulders.

 

"Won't you fuck me tonight Youngjae?" Jinyoung flirts his hands squeezing my thighs. "De-stress oppa" he says with an uncontrolled laugh. I unwrap my legs from His waist and I push him down on the bed. I lie on top of him, Jinyoung continues to laugh wildly. “Oh god do you know how much you're turning oppa on", I smile and reach underneath him my hand under the band of his boxers reaching to stroke his cock. I keep going till I hear him loudly moan,” I missed your all day long petal. I wanted you inside me, he says breathily as I kiss him down his neck.

 

His hands slide up behind him to my thighs then down towards my crotch. Slowly getting hard I buck my hips into Jinyoung's hand, with my free hand I slip two fingers into his mouth for him to suck on. He licks and sucks turning me on further I grind onto the elder, "Jinyoung" I breathe his name into his neck. I delivery one last kiss before pulling away and lean up, I pull down his boxers and deliver one foul smack on his toned ass. Jinyoung moans in reply, I spank him a few more times and receive a positive response. Leaning down peck his red cheek before, using my hand to spread his cheeks. He puckers up as per usual, I use his spit to lube up his entrance before slowly pushing my finger inside of him. 

 

Jinyoung groans excitedly he giggles in response, "Oh Youngjae, I wanted you inside of me". I see Jinyoung watching me sideways excitedly, I push the finger in and out beginning to pump it inside his tight hole, pulling down his boxers further. I spit down on his hole continuing the movement and continuing finger him. I slip another finger inside of him which he receives well his back arches into my finger trying to hit the spot of his. 

 

"Turn over hyung" I instruct the elder after climbing off of him. Jinyoung excitedly flips over onto his backs, legs wide open proudly displaying his man hood. "Beautiful, no get up...I have something I need help with" I nod my head down to my evident hard on. "Well of course I need to help a boyfriend in need" Jinyoung says whilst pulling me closer by the waistband of my boxers. He delivers a soft and lingering kiss to my lips, whilst his hand slides down past the waistband inside my boxer. 

With my cock in his hand and he lightly jerks him. I moan inside of Jinyoung's kiss, he suddenly pulls away bends down to meet my cock. I squeeze my eyes shut as lips wrapped around my erection. I was feeling so hot, I instinctively lift my hips up to meet the elder’s bobbing head, forcing my cock in deeper. Jinyoung's hands grab my hips and hold them down to keep me from bucking. "SHIT" I say with a moan of pleasure, I involuntarily buck again but Jinyoung holds me down. I was so desperate to feel more of his mouth around me. It felt instantly good.

Jinyoung slowly pulls way and back and strokes my length, he kneels up briefly and cups my face with his free hand. "Let hyung breathe, please petal?" he teases me kissing me again, this time he separates my lips with his and slips his tongue inside of my mouth. I thrust into his hands, he squeezes a few times, leave me desperate to feel how tight he would be around me. He kisses me me passionately, whilst my hands slide down to his ass, I spread his cheeks apart and tease the elder’s entrance. 

Jinyoung moans pulling from the kiss as I push two of his digits inside. “You're opening me up? How sweet!" Jinyoung says breathily in my ears, his hand leaves my face and goes to spread himself for me as continue to shove my fingers in to the knuckle. ‘Oh my G-fuck", Jinyoung avoids blasphemy even in this situation, his legs tremble. “Okay petal, oppa is going to need you to skip to the happy ending please", the impatient elder asks. I chuckle and remove my fingers from his entrance and give him a harsh slap on the rear, to which he moans in response.

I push Jinyoung onto his back and soon after climb on top of him, the elder groans responding to my weight. Whether it was a joke or he was serious I didn't much care, I was far too horny right now. I lay of the elder who spreads his legs wide on both sides of my body, I feel his hard on poke me in the stomach before I start searching for Jinyoung’s opening. I spit on my hand more time for lube and very slowly penetrate my very beautiful boyfriend, Jinyoung lays still carefully focused on my face. “You are so tight hyung,” I whisper, Jinyoung squeezes his eyes shut again, and groans loudly before rolling his hips up to me.

"Good, that’s so good" the older encourage as I roll my hips and thrust into his tightness. I lean into kiss the elder whilst continuing the motion, rolling my hips into him. Jinyoung kisses me heatedly, his hands cupping my face pulling me close into the kiss. I spread his knees apart and thrust deeper inside of. Jinyoung moans wraps his legs around my hips to pull me closer. 

“Youngjae fuck hyung, just like that,” the elder begs, I knew he was close and I was so too. So I continue, through moans I roll my hips and sink deeper into the elder. “Holy SHIT" he responds through gritted teeth, down his face his hair is matted to his beautiful face. My thighs were beginning to give in, it felt like burning and slowly I was starting to give out, so using the last bit of energy I had shift weight to the other side and thrust harder and faster. 

There's a brief silence, only the smacking of our flesh can be heard, I keep going my eyes glued to the jewels I often mistook for eyes. As I dip further into him I feel a sudden tightening around my cock, which sends me over the edge. I bury my head in the crook his neck and loudly grunt as I come hard into my lover, I roll my hips forward one last time before eventually flopping on top of a half conscious Jinyoung. 

"Heavy! “Jinyoung groans as he pushes me off of him to his side, I weakly smack the elder. "C'mere petal" the elder weakly waves for my to take place on his shoulder, I'm only too happy to oblige and lean my head on his shoulder happy and satisfied. 

Later that night the pair of us lie down covered in sweat, we were pretty gross was coming off a high. Sweaty and hot but Jinyoung and I were still unable to untangle ourselves, I didn't want to not be in his arms. “That was fun!" he says with a laugh, his hand playing with a strand of my hair. "I talked to him" I take opportunity seeing as we were in this calm space. I leave out his name, "you did?" Jinyoung questions sounding excitedly. Yes I replied. "He wasn't exactly over the moon. But. At least it’s out there", Jinyoung smiles and kisses my forehead softly with chuckles.

 

"Now you're all mine petal", he says stroking my abdomen. A smile creeps onto my face at the sound of my nickname, he could always somehow charm me. "Can I make you mine forever?" I hear him whisper in my ear. "If you tell me what your nightmares are about" I counter. "Hmmmn. Nice try" he says with a light shove...” I lie still feel a little dejected but I don't push further. "One day Youngjae... I just need a bit more time, can you give me that time?" he quietly requests, he doesn't sound quite sure. I sigh and poke at him teasing,” I waited 8 months for you, so this won't be new. I guess I can do it" Jinyoung chuckles in response. "Thank you Youngjae" Jinyoung wraps his arms and pulls me into his warm and comforting embrace which I comfortably lay in.


	14. Killer

Youngjae's POV

The next morning I head to work, Jinyoung had left so early for work leaving me a sweet text to start off my day. "Remember, I love you and you're mine. Eat well and don't work too hard", I grin amused. “Mine" and "love you", it was real, we were really real, and we had come so far since that morning and the window. I sigh content with direction things were going and start my day off. I take the sheets off of his bed to change the sheets, I would be at home studying today so I wouldn't be able to see Jinyoung today. I clean up his bed and apply fresh sheets and clean up around his room, he was stressed with work and I wanted him to return to a nice clean room and good thoughts about his patient and loving boyfriend who he would open up to soon. Or at least that was my hope, I would keep waiting.

Borrowing one of Jinyoung's cute outfits I head off to work, I take the short walk from the bus to work when on the way I bump into what feels like a brick wall. When I look up and see that it was actually a human and he was familiar to me, it was the student from before. It had been many months since I had last seen him, he was still very well dressed in a pair of skinny jeans a cute dress shirt and leather jacket. He was handsome and he approaches me with no introduction and questions my relationship with Jaebum. " How do you know him?" the elder asks sort of looming over me, "what's your relationship with hyung?", another question which confuses me briefly he seems to be a person bubbling with anger big in size he looms over me.

My heart races a little out of fear but as he insists on getting to know the truth about the relationship between Jaebum and I am surprised. I wonder maybe the younger might like Jaebum or maybe if they had been together recently. Our relationship was casual so from what I understood, I knew Jaebum was sleeping with other people, I was sleeping with Jinyoung so I never complained instead of being hypocrital. I manage to muster up the courage and ask why he is so interested, but he seems to lose his nerve and rushes away leaving me bemused. Maybe I was wrong. It was simply a one-sided love by a jealous kid. 

As I make my way to the shop I run into Kunpimook and a friend, the friend from before. They quickly greet me but there seems to be something wrong with their moods that has me concerned. Joongki speaks up first and asks who I had just been talking to. Though slightly suspicious I reply that I had no idea, he was a student I had seen in the coffee shop on and off and he was asking about an ex of mine. Kunpimook perks up and becomes curious about the ex, I casually reveal that he was someone I had been seeing casually, and I don't know why I was sharing this information. Maybe part of me was sacred if the younger misunderstood it would be passed onto Jinyoung and complicated things. 

"Your ex, was he called Im Jaebum?" Kunpimook asks, the question slightly surprising me. I didn't know how he knew that but I answer yes and Joongki who looked suspicious too asks how he knew. "He was a hyung that I... Knew from the mansion" Kunpimook reveals, a shiver crawls its way down my spine at the thought of the mansion. I grimace remembering not only my awful experience there but also the story from the university's cafeteria. I warn the pair to be careful about going to the mansion, I knew younger kids enjoyed sneaking into clubs. 

"Don't worry hyung, that place is part of a past I want to forget", the look on his face seems to back his words. I squeeze his shoulder and ask where the pair are heading off to. "We have exams so we're going to Kunpimook place to study" he says with a mischievous grin, he reaches for the blushing boy's hand. "We'll be heading off" Joongki says before pulling away his companion away. I grin watching the pair, it seemed that Kunpimook liked the boy so I felt no concerns as far as any issues coming up with Jinyoung.

When I finally start up my shift with Yien, I find that he's extra clingy today. Suji is away for a few days and he was trying to do more with "this whole monogamous thing" so he has to stay away from temptation. He asks if I can keep him company, "I won't t try to bone you". I cackle in response "well I'll try to try not to "he jokes. Sensing that he might really need me, he was really lonely so I decide to join him with the promise he would help me fit in at least one hour to study which he obliges me. We chat for a while in the lull of business and I tell him of my plans with Jinyoung to go to Busan in a few weeks. 

"Ahhhh a couple trip? If you're by yourself away from people maybe fathernim will feel vulnerable and open up to you" Yien sees right through me. "You think that you're so slick", Yien he teases, "have you thought maybe about taking Jinyoung to meet your family?' Yien casually suggests. I dismiss it, my parents hardly want to meet me, there's no way they want to see me with my ex priest boyfriend. Yien shrugs it off, "it would be nice to seeing your family". I don't reply, I don't reveal just how much I would love to see them. I was in a happy place I didn't need to mess that up right now with sad thoughts.

Yien had an extra two hour left on his shift so he tells me to go ahead home and set up for our night. "Get some lube Jae ah, hyung will take care of you" he jokes much to the horror of an older couple sat in front of us. Yien throws back his head to cackle amused by the situation, but feeling somewhat I rush away embarrassed from my shameless hyung. With high spirits I decide to head out to get a pizza, I did not want to waste money on a cab and seeing as the shop was close by. I would walk to the pizza place "Happy Pizza" despite being a cheesy name, Yien and I both really liked, it was specific for the night.

It was so dark outside already so I walk around cautiously, I text Jinyoung to check up on him but I don't get the immediate reply I was used to. I shake off the feeling and make my way to my destination, I decide to use a few short cuts and skip through a few alleyways. As I walk down a pretty empty street, I am stopped in my tracks by the sound of a milk curdling scream. It feels like the blood freezes in my veins and immediately I'm really scared. I rarely ever felt like this genuinely scared. Another scream rips through the air, it was that of a woman, if I thought I was afraid then I couldn't imagine how scared the person whose scream that belonged to must be feeling. The woman sounded so scared.

Despite my better judgement I walk towards to the source of the scream, my heart was racing out of control. I approach the alley nearby taking out my phone ready to call for an emergency, I carefully sneak up behind a dumpster at the end of the alleyway. I peek to the side and see dark slender figure was looming over a body of a young woman on the floor. Before I can get up to protest, I feel an extra weight on me and a hand covering over my mouth to stop me from speaking. The movement is swift and takes more than a few moments to catch up, I was being kept quiet by a stranger. In the corner of my eye I see a face I recognise, Wooyoung places a finger to his lips on his to signal my silence.

Wooyoung with a strength I did not know he possessed holds me down, "are you sure you want to see this?" Wooyoung whispers his question. It’s so hushed that part of me wonders how I heard it, "this could change everything you know" he whispers. My heart thumps in my rib cage, I was scared but I felt that I had to know. If it was life changing and Wooyoung knew about it, I had to know, so when Wooyoung asks if I want to see it I nod my head. Wooyoung slackens his grip on me and allows me to lean over once again and watch was going on. 

The slender man was crouched down next to two people, one looked unconscious and was moving whilst he seemed to be holding down another, a woman. Was this guy some sort of gangster? It didn't feel that way, no it was more sinister than that. As I peek closer I slowly recognise the woman, however she was so covered in blood that I couldn't completely pin point her. What the hell had I stumbled on? I wonder watching as the menacing figure stays silent and crouched next to the woman. Next to her the man who was unconscious leaves me more and more concerned, he seemed a little too still for my liking.

"This isn't painful, we both know that", the male voice comments, the voice was eerily familiar. Eyes glued on the scene in front of me I watch it play out, "don't do this, please just take my money ahjussi" the woman begs. She slowly tries to sit up but her attacker holds her down, "I can't let you go, you and I both know that". Panicked I get up to my feet but Wooyoung holds me still covering my mouth, “don't do it" Wooyoung whispers. Despite my attempts to try and struggle out of his iron grip, keeping me still and unable to do anything but watch on, why was he doing this?

"Why?" the girl begs tearfully, "you know why?" the familiar voice replies, it was void of any warmth and full of contempt, it sent chills down my spine.” I have to do this", the man replies, did he mean those words or was he trying to reason with me? I really should be calling the cops right now, but here I was being held down powerless. I berate myself wishing I could do something, I was stuck to the ground and being held down my boss's iron grip. I watch as the man presses his knee onto the girl’s chest, she squirms but he holds her place. He reaches for the base of her head and the other at her neck, struggle as she might the girl cannot escape her fate. I close my eyes shut but even across the alley I hear it, the snapping of bone.

It’s all over in seconds, when I open my eyes I see the woman who was now lifeless, her neck evidently snapped. This was sick, grotesque, stomach churning, and wrong, I watch on as the killer watches the bodies below him. I still hadn't seen his face and I wasn't sure if I wanted to or not, a sick part of me was curious. Suddenly I feel Wooyoung's hands loosen from around me, before I can say anything he turns my head back to the scene I had semi witnessed. "We'll meet again" he whispers, when I turn back to his direction Wooyoung was no longer there behind me. I turn back to the scene in front of me, I am left frozen in shock as reality hits me. “I had just witnessed the murder of a young woman, I had been weak and like a coward watched on. I was still watching as this guy head bent down loomed over two bodied.

There were two dead bodies, I had witnessed the murder of one, and I could end up being the third. But something doesn't let me turn and run as I should, instead I walk from behind the dumpster and approach the killer. "JB?" I call out, finally discovering my voice. The person appears to freeze in his spot, "JB?" I repeat again despite my better judgement and stay waiting for an answer from a killer. The person is still for a little while before they slowly turn around, delivering the foulest slap to my face, figuratively. He stares right at me, his familiar warm eyes were cold and scary, and he didn't look like the same Park Jinyoung I knew. 

"No" I say in instant denial taking several steps back, this couldn't be real. This had to be some messed up dream, I'd had way too many pringles before sleeping and now I was having this strange dream. A dream where my boyfriend with sheer strength breaks the neck and kills an innocent woman, "no no no" I repeat in denial. “Youngjae...”Jinyoung watches me with pleading eyes, it would be easy to relent to those but he had blood on his hands. He had been caught literally red handed, but part of me was failing to believe what my eyes were seeing. "I can explain" he says, his tone seemingly sincere, but how could he ever explain this in a way that made sense?

"You're...you're a killer" I accuse, the words scrape off my tongue. I didn't know if it was wise of me to be throwing my accusation to a person who I had just witnessed commit a murder, but he was my boyfriend. Jinyoung opens his mouth in reply but quickly snaps it shut, looking down at the ground he seemed ashamed, but how could he choose to be ashamed now. With these people's blood on his hands, he had just killed a woman, you just killed them, and I just watched you end a person's lift". Except I hadn't, I had been too chicken shit to see it all, but it was hard to deny that Jinyoung was a killer. “You killed her!!" I shout baffled as the words leave my mouth.

When I look behind him to his victims, the one he had just killed, the owner of the blood curdling scream she was also the biter from the mansion. She was the drug addict that had mistaken my neck for a burger, the woman who had scared me out of my wits. She looked dishevelled, covered in blood and dirt, her once cute appearance was no longer evident. "Youngjae...What are you doing here, Jinyoung suddenly pipes up after what feels like forever of his silence. The question catches me off guard, what kind of question is that? Why was I getting questioned by a killer?

"No. You don't get to ask me what the fuck I was doing, not when you literally have blood one your hands Jinyoung!!" I spit out in disgust. Jinyoung doesn't hide his stricken reaction, worse yet my heart betrays me as I feel a pang of guilt for the elder. "Youngjae...she was dangerous" Jinyoung lamely tries to excuse himself. SHIT. Just like that my attention goes back to the two dead bodies, primarily the biter. "You killed her! She wasn't even moving, you killed a defenceless person hyung!" the last part really messes with my conscious. I had just watched on in silence, I was almost as guilty as he was. 

"Youngjae let me explain this!" Jinyoung pleads with me once again, he takes a step forward but I match it with a step back. "How can you explain this?!!" I snap, he had ruined everything, he killed people how had the priest I fell for strayed this far into darkness? "I was trying to protect you Youngjae", I gag at the words as it all falls into place. "What? Jackson told you she bit me, and you thought had to retaliate this way?" I refuse to hide my disgust, I felt sick to my stomach. This was disgusting, "and him, this guy" I point to the lifeless male next to the biter, "was he just in the wrong place? Just collateral?” My stomach lurches at the sight of the male's body, he looked pretty young around my age, good looking and well-dressed Unlike the biter he had ripped clothed at his necks with a large gruesome bite mark at his neck he looked worse off out of the two. 

He looked like he had suffered a lot, I snap upset and slap Jinyoung harshly controlled by anger. "You ended two lives, you don't get an excuse! You're a killer!!" I shout at my lover still in disbelief. Jinyoung's eyes widen suddenly, as if he were just taking in the full severity of the situation. "Why would you do this?!" I ask desperately, shocked this was all happening, it wasn't sinking in. "Call Jackson", he says suddenly confusing me, "call Jackson... I need to be arrested" Jinyoung offers before getting on his knees. "What?" I ask him surprised, he was offering himself to the cops? He had given up trying to explain it seems. “A killer deserves to be incarcerated" he says simply.

"Just know... That there's much more to this" he says before keeping quiet and not continuing on. I watch him briefly conflicted, I could understand why he was suddenly being so cooperative. Does he think that I'll decide against calling cops because he was boyfriend? Does he think my feelings for him would cloud my judgement? I step back aware that he was watching me, and take out my phone. I shake as search through his contacts and quickly call Jackson directly. After a few rings which were spent tensely faced off with Jinyoung, finally Jackson answers my call. "Hyung... You need to come here now. Please, it’s an emergency", my voice shakes. However Jinyoung stayed still, unmoving showing no visible reaction to me.

An hour later I am in the interview room at a local police station, I had arrived after Jackson and a few officers had arrived on the crime scene. Jinyoung had been taken away with no struggle or complaints, he hadn't tried to run away and he had ceased his attempts to explain himself. We had waited five minutes with Jinyoung alone after painful silence, I tried not to hold myself together, I was in agony emotionally, and nothing felt real. Eventually I made it to the police station and was sat with the chief inspector of the police station Kim Minus. He calmly sits across from me and listens and records everything, he seems seriously to note everything down. Once it is done he thanks me, "I'm sure this was tough for you to do, but I'm glad you did. We need to keep our criminals off the street. 

The elder reaches to give my shoulder a short and supportive squeeze as he leads me out, "we will call you when we need you further, but for now take care of yourself" Minus explains before handing me over into the care of Jackson. Much like myself the elder looked pretty shell shocked, like maybe he really didn't know what Jinyoung had been up to. On the drive to my home Jackson asks if I'm okay, however right now I didn't know how to answer that question. So I ask about Jinyoung, I had been curious about what would be happening to him, Jackson reveals that Jinyoung is currently being held in a cell and tells me not to worry. Jackson doesn't address the topic much, I don't know if he's trying to be sensitive to me or if he's just as confused as me but we are in silence all the way to my place.

As I get out the elder reassures me that everything will be okay, "Youngjae, we'll figure this out" his words do nothing to comfort me. However I thank him and head off up to my apartment, the apartment was dark and empty and too scary for me. Plus my head was all jumbled up with so many thoughts, I need time to get things in order. Right now I could barely explain the situation to myself, it was shocking for me too. I was surprised that even Jackson had been fooled, Jinyoung had done well with keeping secrets.

Working on autopilot, I grab a bag and quickly pack it with a few outfits and the basic necessities and head on out. I was running away I take a cab and find myself at the nearest bus station, I buy a ticket and after an hour wait I board the bus. On the bus I decide to cut off my phone completely, I switch it off as it will make running away that much easier. I didn't want to talk to anyone, I didn't want to see anyone, I had done way too much of that. So I close my eyes and try to get some shut eye, however it’s a lot easier said than done, there was no way I was sleeping right now.

When I arrive to my destination hours later, it’s in the early hours of the morning, a couple of hours before dawn. I take another cab and I rush over to the only person I could trust right now. It was early in the morning and normally I would never disturb anyone at this hour but today was different. As I stood knocking at his apartment door, I was trying desperately to still hold it together and not burst my dam of emotions. I hear yelling and complaining from the other side of the door but a voice approaching getting closer, it was him. As he opens the door his mouth gapes wide open, "Youngjae?" my brother asks concerned. Suddenly unable to cope with everything, no longer able to hold it all in any longer, I drop to the floor in tears. Jinwoon immediately crouches down and pulls me into a comforting hug.

Click. Click. Click. The clicking suddenly gets louder as I am lifted from a hazy cloud of sleep. When I open my eyes I find the smiling face of my eldest brother and in hand he his phone directed me with blinding flash. “Whoa, these pictures are coming out quite nicely", Jinwoon continues to take pictures and the clicking continues, I groan in protest but he continues to snap. "This feels like a dream, seeing my favourite person. As your biggest fan I have to document this" Jinwoon coos whilst pinching my cheek. I groan and sit up to cover my face, "hyung don't be like this". Jinwoon puts away his phone and I breathe a sigh of relief, taking in my surroundings, I was in a spacious spare bedroom with barely any furniture, a bed a wardrobe and a dressing table. 

I had spent many nights in this room before, despite it being an allocated room for both my brother and I to stay in, it never quite felt like home until Jinwoon was here. The elder quietly watches me fondly before suddenly reaching for my arm pulling me into his arms for a firm hugging. "Little brother. You're here", he sounds truly happy so I wrap my arms around him and lean my head on his shoulders. "Awww this is cute" I hear familiar voice comment, looking past Jinwoon I see Kim Yubin, dressed in what looked like one of Jinwoon's smart dress shirts. She was beautiful, tanned sexy, "way out of my league, right?" Jinwoon comments watching his girlfriend.

Last time I had been back home they were starting to pursue things, former school friends Yubin had been concerned about my damaged brother his feelings for his ex. Fortunately that wasn't the case any longer, they looked comfortable around each other. "Noona you're here" I greet her politely, "you're finally awake, your brother and I were starting to think you were in a coma. Jinwoon strokes through my hair with an amused grin on my face, "you slept for nearly 15 hours, you must have been so tired my precious brother" I quietly nod my head. I had been emotionally drained and overwhelmed. So much had happened that I wasn't able to completely process, it was all way out of my comfort zone and so I had run to the safest least complicated place I knew. 

Home with was parents was still too uncomfortable for me, but I knew no matter what Jinwoon would allow me to stay for however long I needed. "Let’s get you fed" Yubin says signalling for us to follow her, Jinwoon stands up and reaches for my hand to pull me up to eat.

After dinner I take a shower and try and sort some of my thoughts, I wouldn't be here for long. I had one last exam within the next two weeks, plus the police would be in contact with me and so I would have to return maybe to give an eye witness statement in court. The thought sends shivers down my spine, the thought of it all made me cringe so I push the awful memories to the back of my head. I switch on my phone and find it flooded with missed calls and text messages, from Jinyoung, Yien, Jackson, Wooyoung and even Jaebum. I scroll to my contact list and make the one and only call I was ready to make right now, it doesn't take long for my call to get an answer back. 

"Youngjae where are you?" I hear Yien's concerned voice, "why haven't you been answering your phone?", before I can reply he interjects. "Are you okay?” he sounds more worried than I had ever heard him sound. "No. I'm back home...with hyung" I briefly explain. "With Jinwoon?" his tone sounds a little less shaken. "Youngjae what the heck is going on?" not ready to answer that question, "I can't answer that right now, but I'll be back later. Don't worry about me" I say hanging up the phone. "You think he'll listen?" Jinwoon questions while stood by the door, with two mugs in his hands. He smiles and quietly approaches me before handing over one of the mugs over to me. 

"Can I ask what happened?" Jinwoon carefully approaches me, unlike Junhyuk he was an expert at the careful approach. “Not that having you isn't great, in fact it's a dream come true. But it’s very sudden" Jinwoon sits down next to me and carefully hands me my tea. He was always like this, when everything felt too harsh for me, he was who I needed when I needed mollycoddling. However instead of taking the opportunity to be completely honest with my understanding brother, I only have tell him half the truth. I had missed everyone, I wanted to see them and the stress of Seoul had gotten to me. I had kept out the part about running from my killer ex-boyfriend who was probably still incarcerated for his gruesome crimes. I couldn't explain it to him because in all honesty I couldn't explain it to myself.

It’s okay if I stay a couple of days right?” I ask my brother know what his answer would be. "Of course!” he excitedly responds, "heck you could quit Seoul and come and live here with your big brother. We could have Hyukie come and live with us too, the three Choi Boys right?" he playfully suggests with a chuckle. Surprisingly I smile, realising I missed my brother more than I had been willing to admit. "Hyukie is going to come round tomorrow, he wants to see you. Truthfully speaking he's mad you came to me first" casually comments before taking a sip of his tea, I see the corner of his lips tug up at my obvious fear.

"Shit", Junhyuk could be more sensitive than he let on, he didn't like feeling left out, I didn't want him to be upset with me but his brand of big brother is a bit more intrusive and impatient than Jinwoon. “Oh calm down, if he hits you Sooyoung noona will put him in a headlock and the parents might not want to see that", he sneaks in the last part. It was all well and good seeing my older siblings who were understanding but seeing my parents, I wasn't ready to try that again. "Let’s pretend you have a choice, because realistically, you know. Noona will make go with her bare hands", he was right, if Sooyoung wanted me to go I was doubtful I could face off with her, she was very scary.

So reluctantly I go to my childhood home, Jinwoon with the help of a petty Junhyuk drags me in a head lock to an awkward meeting with parents. I sensed it would be awkward and I was right on the money. The warm childhood home I had grown up in looked the same, it was a bungalow with three bedrooms, a bathroom and a half, a kitchen and dining room. The walls were a warm light yellow all over like sunshine, the dining room and kitchen were linked together and no longer separated. The furniture was pretty old fashioned and homely made for comfort, there were splashes of new technologies across the house, the flat screen my brothers had bought for my father. The carpet cleaner I had bought for my mother who worked so hard to upkeep the state of cleanliness of the house.

My mother who was dressed in her usual comfortable and smart wear, her hair curled and pinned up line a 20's pin up doll. She had grown up with youthful looks, however today she looked a little bit more run down and tired, and she was worrying me. She makes tea her habit when she was nervous, she and Jinwoon catch up whilst in the kitchen. Meanwhile Junhyuk literally drags me into the living room area with Sooyoung, and we join our father who was sat mindlessly flicking through channels. He greets us all briefly and returns to flicking through the channels. I sit next to Sooyoung who was sat legs crossed comfortably stroking through my hair, she had made her husband stay at home to take care of the kids and was here just to see me her little brother. She affectionately strokes my hair whilst listening to the conversation going on between Junhyuk and our father, about cars, such a manly topic. I think with a roll of the eyes.

Sports were my thing, unfortunately cars were not so I couldn't add much to this conversation, plus I knew my parents were doing their best to avoid directly addressing me. So I turn my attention to my mother and Jinwoon in the kitchen and eavesdrop on their conversation. My mother beams at her eldest son as he gives her an update on his relationship with Yubin, my mother seems satisfied although I knew deep down she prefer Yubin for my brother and so she was pleased with this development. I feel jealous, at the affection she was showing the charming elder but I bite my tongue and stay pretty silence, if I kept quiet, by the time I leave things wouldn't be too bad. "Are you for real?" my mother excitedly questions as my brother reveals his plans on setting up a meeting with Yubin's father in order to ask for her hand in marriage. My mother giddily discusses wedding rings with Jinwoon while I watch on.

Sooyoung physically snatches my attentions away, she turn my head in her direction and starts to catch with me. My concerned sister asks how school is, "how is the big city? We heard it was busy no wonder you wanted a break" Remembering the excuse I had used on Jinwoon, I half lie and exaggerate just how tired I was. Jinwoon backs me up by telling the whole family of how long I had slept yesterday, "studies must be hard" my mother meekly offers as she hands over a tray teas she prepared to Jinwoon to serve. “Yes, I have few more exams soon, but after that I'll have my official break", I try to reassure my mother, she had always worried for my health before, I wondered if it was still the same. I don't get to further talk to her as she turns her attention to the oven and the delicious food she was cooking.

Junhyuk roughly nudges me before asking how Yien is doing, "last time he was here, and he made a splash" Sooyoung comments fondly. "I heard he was having some dating problems" Junhyuk jokes seeming aware of Yien's problems from months ago. My mother butts in the conversation “according to the gossip he came back on his break last time because two women were fighting over him" I tense up even more, uncomfortably and suddenly I realise where this was all heading towards. "How can a queer boy suffer from ladies problems?" my father mutters his ignorance. I roll my eyes disapproving, although my mother warns my father to watch his words she sounds stern but she doesn't look like she really she really disagreed. 

"Well it's true. Didn't Yien declare that he liked men, now a few years later he's dating women?" my father doesn't back down. My mother doesn't react only turning back to the food, Jinwoon, Sooyoung and Junhyuk were all silent, even if they disagreed, we never grew up to talk back to our parents. "Sexuality isn't that easy" I try to argue, it appeared that I would be alone in my defence, my older siblings were not stepping in on my behalf. "Well how does it make sense to like men one minute and the next you're ping ponging between two women?” my father speaks louder, getting more and more confident in his ignorance.

"Maybe Yien knew the heartbreak he was putting his parents through with his lifestyle" my mother adds, how good they were working as a team. "It’s not a lifestyle”, I retort getting really annoyed with the situation. Junhyuk and Sooyoung look tense while Jinwoon finally tries to intervene, "mother, father, you said you would try!” My father stays stubborn and he was indignant "we have tried all our lives, to raise good children!!" he shouts finally snapping and losing my attention. "This isn't right Youngjae, this isn't what we taught you, the bible is-" my mother approaches and trying to plead with me. I get up ready to leave, if I don't I would only say something I would not be able to take back.

"It’s been great being back home", I lie pulling from Sooyoung and Junhyuk's grips, I didn't want them to try and stop me. "Great seeing your faces" I semi lie, "but I have to head off out, I have plans” I lie once more. I take in one look at my father, stubborn he returns to channel surfing. I ignore my mother and Jinwoon's pleas for me to stay, "I'll see you later hyung". I kiss Sooyoung on her forehead and hug Junhyuk before making my way out of the house, the house we had shared so many good memories in together. I didn't want to add sad memories, so I skip out and walk through my old neighbourhood towards Jinwoon's place. 

As I walk up the road side every now and then I hear a car drive by, a few people I recognised. Mostly people I had grown up with, a beep of the car was used to gain my attention as they waved casually. I am walking alone for a little while when I notice an expensive looking car slowly parking ahead down the road, it didn't get in the way of other drivers but wasn't supposed to be there. As I walk up the road, I spot a familiar person leaving the car, it had been so long since I had last seen him. It was three years but it felt like forever, I watch on warily as he approaches.

A couple of minutes pass and Kim Hanbin and I eventually close in the space between us. "Youngjae, it’s been a while" he warmly greets me. Shit, he was just as beautiful as he had been in the past, his black was down across his face his bangs had grown just shy of his eyebrows. His beautiful brown eyes pierce through me, yet he still looked so trustworthy and sweet. He looked a bit more mature dressed in a smart tailored grey pin stripped trousers, paired with a white dress shirt and a grey hoodie as well as some black alligator loafers. It was strange but I try to be polite and reply when addressed. “You’re a married man” I state rather than question. “Yes, it’s fine. Not too bad", he casually answer but there is an awkward pause.

During that time I can't help but take in how good he looked, he looked really good, no he looked better. The years had been good to him, he was thickening up becoming more muscular, his features were manlier but he was still so pretty. My heart flutters wildly, not as strongly as it once did but still enough for me to know these flutters would never disappear. How frustrating would it be if I felt like this forever, I had fallen in love since him so long ago, should I be feeling like this? Hanbin reveals he heard about my new boyfriend, in response to my confusion he tells a story of Yien getting drunk and revealing my relationship with this new guy. I can't bring myself to explain why we weren't a relationship, how could I tell my ex about my killer boyfriend?

"Have you been back long?" Hanbin ushers the conversation away from the awkward subject, he was less clueless than before it seemed. He asks where I had been, I honestly answered that I had been at my parents, he states his admiration for being brave enough to. I bitterly admit I had never wanted to hide or leave through the window, which I had to be me even to my parents. "It’s not working out so well", I admit deflated. Hanbin expresses his envy, "that you can be that brave" he begins to sound more serious than before. "What you said all those years ago about the type of person I was. You were right", looking at his expression I see a pain that he was still holding, I felt somewhat responsible. 

Hanbin watches me briefly without saying a word and it looks like he wants to say something, like he’s building up the courage to say it. However as a car passes by he backs down and loses his courage, "it was good to see you again Choi Youngjae" he excuses himself for work. “Be less of a stranger", he says mustering up one last kind smile before rushing off to his car and driving away. I guess I had lied to even myself as far as what I had felt for him and could feel for him now, but still I don't feel the pain I once felt. I sigh wondering just how fickle my heart was, and berating myself for thinking about Jinyoung and how jealous he might have been witnessing the scene. I shouldn't think about him right now or ever.

Before I head to Jinwoon's apartment, I head to the local convenience store nearby. The store was owned by the Kim family, working tonight was Kim Dongwoo a former high school bully of mine. I do my best to avoid him but minutes inside the shop he spots me looking over drinks. He confidently approaches me "oh my eyes deceive me?" he loudly announces, "I thought you would be in big old Seoul, but you graced little old Mokpo with your presence city" he sarcastically comments. "Still the joy and pleasure it seems Dongwoo", he chortles in response. "What are you doing here fag? I thought you left so you could be perverse freely in the accepting Seoul"

Fed up I ignore him, I had done it so well in high school, I reach over to grab a few beers and pay ignoring the ignorant bully. Dongwoo doesn't touch the money as I try to hand it over, "I don't want to touch your money fag". Thwack! Out of nowhere I see and hear a foul blow delivered to the back of Dongwoo's head from his disapproving and stern money. "Yahh stop being bothersome!!" she says before quickly ringing through my purchase. "You have achieved nothing to be throwing your weight around playing boss, go out back and clean up you idiot" she scolds. Embrace Dongwoo stubbornly storms out claiming he needs a break, meanwhile his mother sighs. "Why couldn't I have a son like you instead of sucking your parent’s money like my useless son you're off out and independent? Even if you're a homosexual you're still a good boy". I was surprised I thought ignorance rooted itself from parents but his mother was warm. 

"It’s good to see your face again" she says with a fond smile. "Thanks Mrs Shim", I say my goodbye before heading out. As I make my way out the shop, I walk past Dongwoo smoking outside. I ignore it, as I walk past him towards him on the gravel ignoring the barrage of verbal abuse that follows me. I do my best to ignore him, but as I make my way to the kerbside I am shocked to feel myself suddenly push forward, when I fall hitting the pebbles the pain is sharp on my palms and knees which take most of the impact from the call. I turn to look behind me to see the culprit, stood above me was Dongwoo wide eyed and frustrated. "You think you're better than me don't you fag?" he spits at me, his tone is loud angry his eyes bulge from his eyes.

Frustrated I push down my words and try to ignore his vitriol, I and pick up my bag ready to get up aware there was no one around to help. However I receive another shove back down and land on my butt and he reaches for my collar pulls me up off my feet. "I asked you fag, do you think you're better than me?" he furiously spits at me, he looks furious. His eyes control to bulge and he looks out of control, I had never seen him like this, he seemed so erratic. I begin to wonder if he was he on drugs, what the hell this was. He was lifting me up off the ground with ease. He wasn't much bigger than I and it was shocking he could hold me out as if I were a bag of groceries. I try to free myself from his grip, "let me go!" I plead, but he doesn't listen punching me hard in the gut and dropping me to the floor before dealing me a painful kick in my abdomen. 

The pebbles scrape at the exposed skin on my palm, I keel over in agony, "you pussy! You disgusting piece of shit, you think because my stupid mother likes you that you're special" he shouts. "You're nothing but a piece of shit and will never be anything" he yells. I receive a few more kicks to my abdomen and as I do a face I wasn't expecting flashes through my head, "I'll protect you" I hear Jinyoung's comforting voice echo. He had said this so many times, part of me wishes he could be here and use his strength to snap the neck of this thug. However guilt hits me, guilt overwhelms me, and despite being the victim wasn't I awful wishing my killer boyfriend to kill my bully? I brace myself for another painful blow when suddenly I hear a strain in Dongwoo's voice, "let me go you bitch" he growls.

When I look up I spot a familiar face, I am more than surprised to see him there. It’s Jang Wooyoung. What the hell was he doing all the way here in Mokpo? Last time I had seen him he had held me down and forced me to watch my boyfriend kill someone. It had been such a shocking event that I had completely forgot his involvement in it all. "Let go of me punk, you don't want to get hurt defending this hyung", I plead with him. However Wooyoung doesn't listen, shocked I watch on as he moves so quick that my eyes hardly catch his strike into the abdomen of Dongwoo. It’s strong and sends him stumbling much to my surprise, Dongwoo had seemed so strong, but maybe I was that weak. "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?! Miss Shim shouts out stood at the doorway.

"Are you making trouble you brat?!!" she berates Dongwoo, "get back in here before I give you a hiding!" Dongwoo grimaces disapproving. Wooyoung grins amused and walks over to my side, he reaches out his arm to help me up but my attention is focused on Dongwoo. He mutters under his breath before giving Wooyoung one vengeful look before heading back to the shop. “Are you boys alright?" Mrs Shim asks concerned, "Choi Youngjae, are you okay?" Wooyoung directs the question to me, he waits seeming less concerned and more intrigued. I slowly get up with his help and reassure Miss Shim that I would live. 

Satisfied with my answer she excuses herself and returning to her shop, and with that she leaves me alone with Wooyoung. "What are you doing here?" I ask the elder only to have the question turned onto me "what are YOU doing here?" I am stumped unable to answer, a lot had happened and I had questions to ask the elder. "Okay kid let’s get me fed and we'll talk. You're buying!" Wooyoung cheerfully says, before reaching for my wrist and he pulling me ahead down the road. His grip is tight and I struggle to free myself and have no choice but to follow him.

Half an hour later we are at the nearest fast food restaurant, it was a burger place which was popular in the neighbourhood. Wooyoung looks out of place from the casually dressed customers, his designer clothes and expensive jewellery made him stick out like a sore thumb. Without me asking, elder gives me an update on things back home in Seoul. He reveals that business is good, "my pretty boys and girls bring everyone to the yard" he jokes while chewing. "Speaking of employees, they're a little worried about you especially Tuan Yien" he continues to speaking while eating, showing not enough manners to cover his mouth." Although the concept is good, the ladies can't get enough of the cute brooding oppa" he adds with a chuckle.

Losing my patience, I ask the elder once more what he was doing here. "Would you believe it if I said it was coincidence?" he nonchalantly offers, I shake my head in response. Wooyoung wipes his mouth with a napkin thoroughly, his expression seems serious. "You took it all harder than I thought, I didn't know you would call the cops on your own boyfriend. You really are an honest kid aren't you?” he sounds both amused and disappointed. “I didn't know that you would suddenly disappear like that before I could explain everything", I watch him quiet and suspicious of the older. “You’re very impatient when it comes to people and explanations", he says poking my forehead back. 

"There's a lot you don't know Youngjae, and you could have stayed blissfully ignorant had you not met Park Jinyoung", what was it, what was it I knew that he didn't. He knew that Jinyoung was going to do what he did in the alleyway, he didn't bat an eye lash at it, that wasn't very normal. "Youngjae do know what a drainers is?" Wooyoung suddenly asks, it feels like a left field question so I shake my head in reply, I honestly had no clue. “Have you watched Buffy before?" the elder asks another odd question. "Or Angel, there were a few in Charmed... Right?” I have no freaking idea what the elder was talking about? "Hmmmn those are old, Youngjae what do Twilight and The Vampire Prosecutor have in common?” impatient and frustrated I tell the elder I don't know. "Please hyung, if you know something please say it clearly" I beg the elder, who shows no reaction. 

"Youngjae, you're here-" I turn to see a panting Jinwoon, "I've been looking for you everywhere!” Fuck, this is what I didn't need right now, I wanted answers from my Wooyoung but with my brother around I doubted I would get them. Wooyoung does politely greets my older brother, he introduces himself as my boss in Seoul with the excuse of having business in Mokpo. As usual Jinwoon is friendly and warm and the pair talk about the beauty of my hometown, however after sometime Wooyoung excuses himself, feigning the need for sleep as he has an early start the next day. He declines the offer of a ride home and heads off ahead of us, meanwhile my concerned brother takes me to his home, losing my answers from Wooyoung I begrudgingly follow my elder brother.

At his apartment Jinwoon is concerned by my early leave from the family home and he fixes me a plate of food. He genuinely apologises for not being there to defend me against our parents, and even more for taking me there in the first place. "You must have been hurt a lot little brother" he explains and I watch him aware he felt guilt.” I really thought they would try, I'm sorry as you big brother I should have known better" I reassure him that I understand he had the best of intentions. "It’s hard for this hyung not to worry, after all you return back home all of a sudden", he admits he is suspicious by sudden return.

"Of course I'm happy to see you, but I know there is more to this than stress at school", Jinwoon watches me his concerned gaze not wavering. There is brief moment where I do not answer, how could explain what was really happening. "Is this about Park Jinyoung?" he asks suddenly, I tremble conflicted between telling him the truth and getting everything off of my chest or keeping it to myself and not dragging my brother into all of this, it was messy and I hadn't figured it out for myself yet so how could I explain it. "We're having problems... So I came here to not be so stressed", I tell my half lie, fortunately he seems to believe me and gives my shoulder a supportive squeeze.

The next day in the after with Jinwoon and Yubin out to work, in the comfort of the spare bedroom, I make use of the laptop Jinwoon lets me use. Having no clear answers but only clues from Wooyoung, I decide to research and make use of google search. Remembering the most drainer. Was Jinyoung a drainer, he had bitten me, first time nearly lost control, had he been the JB to character who had been travelling across Seoul, how had he been able to keep that secret from me. Using the key words drainer and vampire I find very few searches, there were myths and stories. It all seemed super natural, stories told by people who were, however some of seemed to be drug induced ramblings.

Was I supposed to believe that there were people out there who sucked people's blood to stay alive longer? They had super speed, strength, hearing, sights, they were super humans, and should I believe this? I sigh defeated, this was all so confusing, was I to believe that Park Jinyoung was a drainer? He had strength that didn't match his looks, but a lot of people did. He had great hearing and sight, but so did Yien, was he also a drainer? My head really hurts so much with all these thoughts whizzing around, I was stuck between disbelief and a desperation to believe what I was reading.

I don't know how long I'm like this, lost in my thoughts but the jolt I receive as I am startled by the knock at the door. The knocking is loud and patterned in a melody, I don't know who it could be. I get up and approach the house door, when I open the door I am greeted by a dapper looking Wooyoung. “Ahhh I found you" he greets me warmly "I don't have much time left", he says mysteriously whilst reaching for my shoulder and pulling me into hug. His arms wrap around my shoulders, I freeze surprised, we had never been this close before. "Sorry Youngjae" Wooyoung quietly. Apologises feel a prick and suddenly I'm hazy and lost.

I groan as a bright light shines through my sleep like haze, why was I in a sleep like haze. The last thing I remember was seeing Wooyoung hyung and that sharp pain in my side, I suddenly sit up to cheek my side but can't get up the way I would like. I try to wipe the haze from my slumber but struggle with the use of my hands, so I have to blink my sleep away and adjust to the dimming light. Awake, I look at surroundings and become aware that I was in a different place. It looked was in a hotel room, looking down at myself I was strapped with rope down to a leather recliner. My seat was faced away from most of the room, all I could see right now was the Seoul skyline, I knew it was Seoul, the building, looked so familiar. How did I get here?

What was I doing here in Seoul, strapped in this chair, it what looked to be different clothes. "Ah you're awake" I hear a familiar voice call, my chair is swiftly turned on a swivel revealing in the large hotel suite were Joongki, Yerin, Mina. I'm taken aback, "do we even need him to be tied up like this, and isn’t oppa doing too much?" Mina questions.

"Hyung doesn't seem to trust us enough, does he think we would struggle with a human?" Joongki comments, playfully pinching my cheek. "Look at him, he doesn't seem to be to be much of a challenge" he carefully comments, he says with a cockiness that doesn't make me feel comfortable. I watch them all confused, what was the sweet unassuming Yerin doing in a place like this, and this kid Joongki and Minha. I thought Minha had disappeared soon after Suji and Yien had got together, why was she back and how was she involved in all of this? I was so confused. 

Minha warmly smiles at me, she looked different months later, her black hair was a platinum blonde and in a bob, her make up is tame, and her clothes were styled were more elegant and bright. The look made her seem more stylish and more graceful than before, it was complete makeover. "We'll just get you a bit more comfortable “she undoes quickly undoes the rope tied around me and unwraps me. "You must be so confused right now as to what you were doing here", she says almost reading my mind, "just wait a little while Youngjae". 

"Oppa are you okay?" Yerin finally pipes up, the younger was dressed up more than her usual casual attire she had on a shimmering brown mini dress. Her hair was laid down onto her shoulders, her makeup was a lot stronger, and she looked a lot older than usual. Was she okay? What was she doing here, had she been forced here I ask all those questions which seems to amuse all of them. "See, I told you he was a sweet oppa" Yerin who seemed amused addresses the two others. "Oppa don't worry about me", Yerin says with a reassuring smile. She was comfortable with the other two, what was this? Why was I here? Where had Wooyoung gone? "Wooyoung hyung, did he bring me here?" I ask the three confused, "Bingo!" Joongki excitedly replies.

"Where was he? Why did he bring me here, why is he being so mysterious and talking about drainers" I outwardly complain. Joongki smirks amused and takes a seat, meanwhile Minha squats down to check up on me. "Are you hungry?" I was starving and thirsty, but I wanted some answers. “Wooyoung oppa is doing business, he'll be here by the time we get you fed", she answers my question very slowly and carefully. "Drainers are a kind of creatures that is created through a painful process, they survive and live on the blood of humans, but unlike vampires we are not immortal" she explains.

We? I look to Joongki, Yerin and Minha, were they saying that they were actually people who were super natural? “I will probably age normally, seeing as I don't drink blood anymore. Wooyoung oppa had helped me to go through with my withdrawals and be somewhat human". Drink blood, withdrawals, drainers, humans, my brain fails to catch up to the things that are being said.” I hear you reported Jinyoung oppa, you made a mistake Youngjae", Yerin quietly scolds me. What was this, first Wooyoung, now her, was I going to be blamed for doing the right thing? It felt unfair and unjust.

"Han Kisum wasn't a drainer for long but she was definitely dangerous", Minha quietly explains. "We had tried to track her down and take care of her, but she's a slippery one" Joongki casually comments. Han Kisum, that name sounded familiar, "Jinyoung did what we needed to do sooner or later. She would have killed more people than the one she had that night". I'm frozen with shock, I look to Minha "but I thought -". Minha strokes my hair fondly she seemed sympathetic, "you thought Jinyoung had killed both those people?" she says finishing off my thought. "I'm sure you must have shocked, if anything Jinyoung shouldn't have been involved in such a thing, it should have been managed by le protezioni". Minha explains slowly and carefully. Explains the 300 year history of Italian group which could often be translated into the protectors. The organisation was made a few dozen strong drainers who were based across the world there probably a handful per continent. They were strong creatures who were in charge of ridding the world of l' egoista assassini; the selfish killers. 

Selfish killers were trainers who kill and become serial killers uncontrolled by power and bloodlust, they are a danger to the human race. They turn and make new hungry untrained drainers and the cycle of death continues. "The deaths in Seoul have fluctuated despite our attempts to kill them all some slip through the cracks for example Kisum", Minha continues with her explanation. "She had to be stopped. She was a danger”, Joongki interjects. He explains however she wasn't the root of the problem. . JB was the root of this all, he had to be found and captured, but that was difficult as he was so elusive. After taking all this information and answer the questions I had in my mind, I have a new one, what did this all have to do with me. . "Jinyoung oppa is amazing, he had caught that wild little one before us" Yerin explains he had forsaken the IP, "but we could make use of them all, so just sit pretty and we'll make use of you" the younger pats my face.. 

According to the hotel's clock half an hour passes, like Minha had promised, I am fed a burger from the room service and by the time I'm finished eating Wooyoung hyung arrives. The elder was changed into a different suit, and was look fresh and clean as usual. He smiles charmingly in my direction, "oh good the young ones were taking care of you", very casually he apologises for bringing me against my will. “Hyung became a little impatient, but for now everything will move quickly and we can get you home", he says with a fond smile. Despite be drugged, kidnapped and being help here, nothing anyone had done had scared, even their revelation as drainers, why wasn't I scared? Wooyoung pulls out a phone from his pocket and dials, while he waits for the person on the other end he ruffles through my hair. "Youngjae I hope you don't mind, hyung will use your phone" he points his ear. I recognise the phone to be mine and I wonder why he needed it, "Ah! Park Jinyoung! Is that you? It’s so nice to speak to you!" my heart skips a beat. How he was in contact with Jinyoung, wasn't he supposed to be in jail? Had he been let out? Had he escaped?

"Youngjae? Ah he's here, he wants to see you", had Jinyoung been worried about me? I hadn't thought much from his perspective, I bad been scared to do so. "Come to Seoul Prestige, call me when you get here and I'll lead you here" what did he want from Jinyoung, to join with the LIP? "Bring no cops or I'll slit his throat" Wooyoung says before abruptly ending the call. A chill makes its way down my spine in reaction to the threat made to my life, Wooyoung seems quiet proudly of herself. "Was I cool? Charismatic?" he asks with a chuckle, but the other disapproving. "You took it far hyung!" Joongki says giving a light squeeze of the shoulder. "No matter what, we’ll never hurt you kid”, I’m half comforted and half annoyed that the younger was talking down to me. "Whatever I needed some flair and to bring him over ASAP. Youngjae don't worry, we want his help so we won't hurt that pretty little face of yours" Wooyoung pinches my cheek once more 

As we wait listen in to a frank conversation between Joongki and Yerin, Joongki states his feelings for Kunpimook were genuine. " I like him I don't know if I am willing to give up the closest thing to immortality for him, plus we only started but I like him" he explains that drainers who drink blood of humans live longer, I am 43 years old. Can't you tell? He teases. I'm shocked as the drainers give me their real natural ages, Yerin reveals that she is 25 years old, meanwhile Wooyoung was close to celebrating his 88th birthday and Minha reveals she was 34. It was shocking, none of them looked close to their actual ages. Was blood that affective in slowing the ageing process? I wondered how old Park Jinyoung was. He looked in his early twenties but something told me he was much older.

A familiar ring tone sends the room into silence, we all watch on tensely as Wooyoung receives a call. Looking somewhat relieved the elder excuses himself leaving me alone with the three drainers, there is brief silence before: Minha starts to complain about being in Seoul missing Rome. She promises that once she found JB she would return, Italian food, Italian men and women and Italian fashion. Joongki and Yerin don't hide their boredom as Minha describes one of the mansions one of her lovers owned. However it’s hard for me to really focus with he thought that he was in the building that my boyfriend was in the building. After some passing time Wooyoung finally re-enters with him trailing was a worried looking Jinyoung who rushes to my side. "Youngjae are you okay?" he instinctively pulls me into his arms, "I don't move I just let him hug me.”See? As promised, not a scratch on him" Wooyoung explains. Jinyoung reaches for my arm to pull me up, come on Youngjae lets go" the older instructs. Reluctantly I follow him and as we reach the door Wooyoung calls for Jinyoung who stops in his tracks. Wooyoung warns him to keep his word and Jinyoung wordlessly agrees with a nod of the head 

Later on once Jinyoung and I get to Jackson's silent apartment, Jinyoung apologises. "I have wanted to protect you from all of this bullshit, I didn't want to concern you", the older looks genuinely distressed. "You must have been so startled", I watch Jinyoung still on edge but as he leans in to kiss me and despite knowing he had snapped a woman's head off I kiss him back. I was messed up, he cups my face and kisses harder and deeper, his grip on me tight. I fall into him reciprocating, eventually. Pulls from the kiss briefly watching me, he cups my face watching me with concerned eyes. "God I missed you” he says pulling me into a hug, his embrace felt warm, it felt like where I belonged. I sigh, no longer able to hold any resentment towards him. After a while of being like this, being close with him like this, Jinyoung leads me to the bedroom we had shared so many times. I knew I should be scared of him now that I knew who he was, but I wasn't, I knew he would never hurt me, so I follow him. 

As we lie in bed, wrapped up by his quilt we talk, Jinyoung does most of the talking and I listen on in silence. Jinyoung briefly hesitates looking slightly conflicted before he starts telling his story, "I was 20 when it happened, when he turned me, my ex". He pause again briefly but continues ". We dated through high school for five years on and off but I wasn't out yet the future priest, we had decided to just be together no strings attached", this is something he had never told me about. He had always been vague about his past in Jinhae. “He was acting strangely around that time, he even invited me to the blossoms festival which wasn't his thing but he invited me anyway", the look in his eyes, it was like he was reliving it all, and I knew we were drifting into some painful territory. "I came late at night, work had been busy because of the festival but eventually I made it. The date thought it was romantic", a brief smile flashes across his face but his eyes looked so sad. "I was alone with him, but we had met like that before. We were sneaking around so late night trysts weren't out of the ordinary", who was this guy? Was he Jinyoung's first love, I feel a prick of jealousy. 

"The mood was strange sweet and romantic, but it was nice so I played with him “my heart thumps out of his chest listening to his story. "Let’s runaway to Sao Paulo he said, I laughed it off but he was serious. He told me to leave our lives and parents behinds but I think he's being crazy" now it was as if he was back in the past reliving the conversation. "He reached for my arm forcefully. If I was a woman would you come with me!!" he raises his voice to mimic the emotion of his ex. "If I was the church, he was mad.” Full of rage, the Jae that I loved was no longer in his eyes. He flew into a rage and gripped me down, you're mine Jinyoung, no one else's" those words send a shiver down my spine. "He said, I tried to free myself but I was so weak, he threw me again the wall, it hurt a disorientated me “Jinyoung’s contain fear as he relives it all. "He gripped me to the wall and pulled down my trousers, he had moved so quickly. You're mine Jinyoung he kept repeating, I told him to stop" his voice shakes as he describes his ordeal. "He wasn't like that, but then he covered my mouth and pinned me down he felt like the greatest weight that pinned me down. He.... He... Raped me" The words sear through me, he had tried to hide and suppress it and soon I under stood why. 

”I couldn't fight him off, but I wasn't weak. Despite all he did, when I told him I would never want him, he was angered. I was distraught at what had happened but I wasn't weak and I wouldn't be forced into loving him, even if he raped me a million times I wasn't his”. I hug Jinyoung close the tears flow his voice is shaky, I tell him he doesn't have to continue but he does, he had let me in and letting see him completely. “He was mad, I hadn't submitted to him, he was possessed and so he continued his attack. He pinned me down continued... This time round he bit into me, he bit and clamped down" the image flashes through my head, was this why Jinyoung had reacted so angrily after my attack? It must have reminded him of his own trauma, I watch him again feeling a pang of guilt." It was unlike any pain I had experienced, immobilised I watched as someone I had trusted and loved attacked me again. I didn't understand the full extent of what he was doing, in fact I had simply resigned myself to death. My heart sinks, he must have felt so alone and scared.

"However I woke up the next morning, shockingly I had been able to survive, and I was healed. No physical signs of the attack the night before, Jae was no longer there". Jinyoung sniffles and wipes his face before continuing with the story. "Seoul Ong a hyung of mine, he was a drainer. He had saved me and turned me into a drainer, he seemed shaken by what had happened" the story he tells me slowly answers so many questions I had had. "He apologised, and told me that he had not foreseen what would happen. Jae himself was a drainer a newly made and unstable drainer, weeks ago what had happened to me had happened to Jae" that explained the man's strength. "He was just repeating something that was wrong, he apologised. He's dead. He had to die, the IP would never let him survive so it was better as his maker to rid him. I was shocked but part of me was no upset, how could I be. I had been raped and attacked and nearly killed, I detested him". I did too, I was glad that trash like him was no longer roaming this earth to hurt Jinyoung.

" On Seoul Ong’s advice he tells me travel around to world, I tried well to do as he taught me, while being a drainer who would never lose control and be like Jae" the tears were still flowing. "When in Rome I met Kim Kibum, he was part of the LIP. He introduced me and I briefly was part of their European squad" so that’s how Wooyoung and Jinyoung knew each other? " I am not innocent, I have done things I regret, but since meeting you I've tried so hard not to live a regretful life" Jinyoung says his eyes glued on mine, his words don't seem false, that or I was so desperate to believe them.."I'm sorry Youngjae, I'm so sorry" Jinyoung's voice wobbles he bursts into tears and I wrap my arms around him pulling him into my embrace. As the weight of his story rests on my mind I join him, sad, heartbroken for him I cry. This was Park Jinyoung he was a damaged man, but I couldn't and wouldn't leave his side, no. I loved him I loved the pieces of the man he was.


	15. Mine

Jaebum's POV

 

The ride was smooth it always was when being driven by the Rolls Royce. The expensive luxury caras just that, luxurious. It was black shiny and long on the outside, the inside interior was white leather seats, spacious enough for the driver in the front, and for Junho and I in the back. The second man in charge of operations was sat across from me, dressed in his usual tailored and shady navy blue suit and golden tie. He was dapper, and meticulous without a hair out of place on his hair, he liked to keep things in order, and that included me. "No more loose behaviour" he sternly warns me, "I know you enjoy partying, drinking, eating and fucking, but things are becoming stuffy again". According to the police source we had on our payroll, the police were starting to get more clues as to who JB was and even what his criminal empire was made up of.

 

"Keep a low profile"Junho continues. " That dumb bitch had been running around Seoul recklessly pushing down anything that got in her way" Han Kisum had gone on a rampage giving i to her thirst. Her behaviour had left behind many dead bodies and that was becoming a concern to the police who were more vigilant, Kisum had left a trail of havoc and it had been linked to the mansion. Junho wasn't happy because now the cops were asking questions, "don't go to the mansion. I'll handle all the business there. I don't need that Chinese cop seeing you ever" he continues his warning. "Awwww hyung you care" I tease the elder, " I care cause that roach Jackson Wang could end our empire. Unlike his colleagues, he is bright and determined. Don't treat him as if he were easy" . 

 

Nodding my head I accept it, I knew he was right Jackson Wang was the bane of my existence. If I was going to be taken down, I felt certain that Jackson Wang would be involved. We had never met, but some how our fates were intertwined, I hoped that would never come to reality but I felt uneasy. Junho continues his update and reveals that even though we had received our shipment of drugs come in, Jo Kwon had been captured in Nigeria by the authorities. "I don't know what the fuck that idiot has gotten himself into", Junho bitterly mutters. Despite the hard work both put into our empire, Junho and Kwon did not get along, their personalities clashed. Kwon's free spirit attitude irked the strict and stern Junho.

 

"We need to keep a tight ship can't get distracted" says as the car pull up the gravelly path leading to our final destination. Junho tenses up as he the car gets closer and closer to the mansion. He clears his throat before running through a few issues we were dealing with in our chinese drugs section. "Dan Dan is having a few troubles with the authorities, it seems one of their crooks in uniforms wants a cut of the profit", I instruct him to send Song Qian, she formerly worked for the chinese divisions but decided to get a personal life that involved a husband and kids. However in circumstances like this, we used her old loyalties to keep our business in Beijing in order, she was dependable. 

 

Once I was done with business I headed inside the elusive Hwang Mansion, tucked in a hidden part of Seoul. The huge mansion was not flashy, it was scary and gothic on the outside, pained in a dark brown with ivy grown across. It was a creepy and uninviting aesthetic, but on the inside it was like any normal spacious mansion. Modern and worked in favour of efficiency, with splashes of modern art and furniture. It was definitely nice to look at, and easy to relax in for those who were familiar with.Tonight I had been invited to have dinner with the engaged couple, the always gorgeous and sexy Fei and the equally sexy and handsome Chansung. They were especially affectionate to the point of public indecency. No worried though, i was used to this side of them.

 

We sit around the large oak dining table that takes up half of the dining room's size and was enough foe the large feast they had prepared. Over dinner Chansung discusses our visit to Tokyo he enquires on my meeting with Lee Changmin, I reveal that we had transported over some girls through the rouse of it being a large and exciting party. I think back to the mundane journey with Junho in which we had shamelessly travelled with 12 scared young girls who we had dressed up in party dresses and pretended were part of an idol group's entourage.

"The amount of things pretty hallyu boys can get away with" Fei comments before taking a sip of her wine. Chansung commends me for my plan and it's success, "now we had an escort system set up in Tokyo and Changmin with the help of his trusted people we will start our foot print in Japan". I relax realising he was in this kind of mood, the night would pass without incident.

 

We drink and get merry after our meal, I sit next to Chansung on his plush and comfortable sofa,whilst Fei sits alone on her recliner nursing a glass of win. Chansung sits comfortably next to me, he reaches to stroke my face fondly, "Im Jaebum, you have been so useful to me. Not just business wise but the pleasure you bring me". The elder's eyes are full of lust, his hand drops to my thigh, "It has been so long that the three of us had been here like this", he leans begins to kiss me down my neck. Fei grins watching the pair,she watches on, it always began this way. Chansung would do all the foreplay and his fiancee would come in when she felt like it, the dynamic strange, but I never argued. I enjoyed the depravity of it all.

 

Hours later in the middle of the night the moonlight glowing on the bed, Fei lays her head on my chest whilst Chansung has his arms wrapped around her waist. I am silent in the phone flicking through pictures I had of him, of Choi Youngjae, it felt almost like I missed him and I hated that thought. I unhook myself from the pair and quietly make my way out of the bedroom and head to kitchen and its large fridge. The fridge was bountiful with good, drinks and for when I got thirsty and I knew that Chansung hyung always had a bottle of blood waiting for me. I open the fridge and find a cold blood bag, before I can reach I feel arms wrap around my waist. 

 

Looking down I see small slender arms around my waist, "I missed you. Do you know that?" I hear her quietly reveal. Fei did her best to never cross the line with me, we usually worked in a professional capacity, she was a great worker and made my job easier. Sometimes even I forgot just how connected we were, it wasn't until Chansung was back in town and called for me to join them that our connection was revisited. I turn to her and look down at the petit elder, she was gorgeous, her body was toned and sexy. She wraps her arms around my neck my arms find themselves around her slender waist, "I think he knew it. That I missed you" she says nodding in the direction of Chansung.

 

It was a complicated relationship that we had, we worked as part of a criminal empire and had to be cold and impersonal most of the time. However there were moments like this where Fei wasn't just a foot soldier and madame to the empire we had built, but she was my lover, I was hers and his. They desired me in different ways, admittedly Fei desired me more than I desired her. "He knows how much I missed you, how I missed these broad shoulders" her hands slide up my arms to my shoulders. "How much I missed this jaw line of yours", he stands on the tip of her toes to slowly kiss me down my jawline. My hands automatically pull her close by her waist. "I want you for myself, why can you be mine JB". I cringe at that name, the name she had given me to elude the cops and remain elusive. It wad still a damaging name and reputation, I didn't like it. 

 

"Noona wants you, why do you only come when hyung calls" she asks with a pout. She knew why, our arrangement was complicated enough, Fei wanted me as her play thing when Chansung was in Tokyo, but Chansung would never allow that, he loved Fei and would never allow her to be alone with me. Right now what we were doing was risky, "my lovable fiancee is knocked out. I made sure of it", I was quite sure what she meant but she kisses me. Soft tender lips separate my lips, cups my face pulls me closer. I lift her up and put her on the counter, pull from kiss spread legs, I move her underwear aside and play with her folds. "Remember the first time we did this, she says breathily. "We had been arguing over who would get control leading the divisions" she loved going down memory lane and reliving it.

 

"You looked so mad and uncontrolled, you hadn't had your blood you were so cranky" I remove my hand from between her legs and grab her face . "You slapped me" I slap her, HARDER! I slap her face again continuing to grip her face and keep her still.. "You called me a bitch and told me I was yours, that you owned me",the fear from her face flashes across my mind. "You slapped me again", i slap her harshly causing her to moan. "You gripped my shoulders", I lift her up off of the counter and slam her onto the floor. Climbing on top of her I turn her around and pin her down, pulling out my cock and shove my cock inside of her. Rough and without waiting for to get used to my size or struggle, she moans out in pleasure unlike the first time. I pin her down leaning on her and strangle hold on her continuing to thrust into her. She gasps for air but moans excitedly just as she had the first time we had fucked. "Fuck yes!" Fei responds positively as I sink into her, harder and faster.

 

My assault on her did not scare her, instead it turned her on. It was surprisingly her kink, Fei enjoyed rough and unforgiving sex and it seemed I was the only one who could tap into the uncontrolled psyche that she so desired. As I thrust into her a face that is not her own flashes through my head, a voice that protests echoes in my head beginning me but I continue. In fact I thrust harder at the thought of him, she moans and grips onto my arm as I continue my rough treatment and fulfil the fantasy of the elder.

 

"I bet you think I'm strange" she comments as we clean up in the shower half an.. hour later. Chansung was still asleep in his room in a peaceful coma like sleep, like Fei had guessed he hadn't overheard our session and was unaware of our clean up. Water washes over her long hair down her face and bruised neck, shoulders and arms which she rubs soap into. I don't comment and simply scrub myself, "what kind of woman enjoys such harsh treatment, after all what you had started was wrong... But why did it feel so right?". "No one knows your mind but yourself noona" i reply after a brief silence, she wraps her arms around me. 

 

"Sometimes it feels like maybe you're the only messed up person who can understand me", I don't reply even though I understood her. Together we could be a pair that reaped havoc, but I lived a comfortable life off of the payroll of her fiancee and she loved Chansung way too much to leave him. "But it seems you understand a lot of people too. Minyoung is very fond of you" she says with hint of jealousy and bitter in her voice. I kiss her cheek and reveal that I don't know anyone well. 

 

"People are elusive. When you think you know them they stab you in the back trample on you and run away" the bitterness I had been feeling creeps its way into our conversation . "Oh? Did something happen?" I pique the elder's interest. I don't answer still feeling a sense of bitterness whenever I thought about it all. "Minyoung did mention a new little play thing you had. She said he seemed like a good boy... If I'm not mistaken good boys are originally your favourites" she says with a knowing smirk. Fei knew too much about me, sometimes it made me uncomfortable and I think she sensed it. Fei leans up to kiss my cheek before excusing herself and leaving me alone in the shower.

 

I make my way out of the mansion avoiding the loving couple, I decline a ride offer from Fei. I'm sure she would have taken advantage of the ride, not that I would have minded much, but right now I didn't feel like, my sexual appetite wasn't like it normally was. Thirsty I head off to the pump and check on everything there, I decide to take the bus but I'm surprised to see a familiar face at the back of the bus.

Last time I had seen him he had very calmly ceased our short lived relationship, had a boyfriend. He looked pretty good dressed in a patterned blue dress shirt and a grey cardigan, as long as a fitted ankle cut jeans, a paired with ankle loafers. He had dyed his too, instead of the platinum blonde he had he was sporting a dark black which was styled up from his face. 

 

Shit. He wasn't supposed to look this good, I spin around panicked wondering if he had seen me. My stomach was filled with butterflies, no matter how I tried to deny it to myself, I guess that I was still fond of Choi Youngjae. However our last meeting hadn't ended so well, sure I had overreacted. After all we weren't a couple, he had always made it clear he was single and wanted to stay that way. I never minded this after all I was free and without obligation, i could and would sleep with whoever and Youngjae had no room to complain. I could boink whoever whenever and I wouldn't be pestered by an annoyed partner, it was the most ideal set up for me. 

 

This was supposed to be a benefit to me, I would toy with Youngjae and have him and once I did then I could toss him away or keep him. However things didn't go as I had planned, the rug had been from underneath my feet, I knew he was still having issues with an ex but he seemed to talk less and less about him, so I thought he was over it. "Jaebum hyung?", frozen briefly I take it in, the voice sounded pretty close. It seemed Youngjae had spotted me, so I straighten my self as best as I could, I was looking a bit worse for wear considering my wild night at the Hwang mansion. 

However I try to collect my cool and my demeanour and turn to face the younger feigning surprise. "Ah, Youngjae you're here?" I greet him with my best charming smile. "Didn't you see me when you came in?", the younger innocently questions me. "No. If i did I would have approached you" I day covering for myself and bolstering my pride, I didn't want to look pathetic around him. "Oh. I had thought that maybe you were still mad at me and ignoring me. After last time" he says with an awkward chuckle. "Oh that, hyung was tired and overreacted". 

 

Unable to resist I reach over to stroke through his hair, a habit of mine, I enjoyed showing the younger affection and seeing him get flustered. However this time he does, he looks a little awkward, "ahhh. Hyung have you just got back from last night?" looking over my slightly dishevelled appearance knowing me too well. 

 

"Yeah. This particular couple was tiring", Youngjae doesn't bat an eyelid, my attempt to shock the younger was fruitless. Damn Yien, had he not been around a freak and exposed Youngjae to it I could have won a shocked reaction. Disappointed his reaction is more amused than jealous, he wasn't jealous cause he had a man.

 

"Ah. Hyung, I have to go... School unfortunately, but it was good to see you", Youngjae warmly bids his farewell. I reach over to Youngjae's hand to stop him in his track, " yes hyung?" his innocent eyes watch me. "We're cool by the way. Friends right?" I surprise Youngjae and myself, I knew I didn't want to be his friend but I was clinging on. A bright smile spreads across his face, "yeah hyung, that sounds great" he quickly excuses himself having to rush off of the bus. I sigh reluctantly letting the younger go watching on as he exits the bus, but something in me was determined to get him back by any means necessary. 

 

When I reach the new pump area, I get showered and cleaned, we had changed location within the last couple weeks after Kunpimook's escape. We wouldn't get him back because that could lead the cops to be more determined to track us down. Instead Minyoung had been out to find new pumps, she would look for the young and vulnerable who were on the outskirts of society. I made sure that she was careful and to not get caught by the cops she complains about Jackson wang, the other night she had been innocently out to party and dance and recruit.

 

Fresh out of the shower, we catch up on our nights before as we often did. Minyoung tells the story of her night spent at the mansion and her run in with the bothersome Wang Jackson. " Buzz kill was there" she complains, "he was there with a cutie". Minyoung admits that she was quite taken back to see him, "he came over and warned the pretty little boy that I was with away" she complains ."He was old enough and legal but even still Jackson has a some grudge against me, he probably still blames me for that bitch Youngji's death", she says sourly playing with the bedsheets.

 

The face of Heo Youngji flashes through my head briefly, the young attractive woman had been a drifter that had stayed at one of our pumps with us. During her time with I had found out through a source in the police station that she was a cop who was under cover collecting evidence, its shocking that if she was she didn't do a good enough job. The cops have not been able to get anything concrete on me, they barely know I am. There had seen Minyoung and Youngji together only a few times, but never got anything on her either.

"Honestly I don't know where Youngji went" Minyoung complains, I knew she didn't.  
"I thought she was cute and fun", Minyoung continues, as she speaks Youngji's pretty face flashes in my mind once more. Blood stained, she had fought to the bitter end for her life, but she was a danger to this empire. I had to take care of her and make sure that we were protected, we were an organisation that prospered by working in the shadows. We had to remain elusive and she was a real threat to that, I had my eye on her and knew she was a nuisance to us. I did what I had to do, Minyoung would understand but I never told her. The less she knew she less she would be further implicated. I kiss her forehead and tell her to take care of herself, "ahhh you care",she teases. 

 

"The other guy with that Wang cop was gorgeous, totally our type", I wondered what she thought was my type, I had wasn't very picky. "Maybe if I see him alone I can work my magic and get his name and bring him here". Minyoung was a very persuasive and personable person, thats how she was able to convince the many of the pumps we had around. She had convinced Kunpimook to stay with us despite his boyfriend leaving, she had won his trust and manipulated his feelings of weakness towards his mother. She was indispensable to our organisation, so I needed her to tread lightly and keep her out of harms way.

 

"Don't worry. I am a sly fox, I never get caught", she says before excusing herself and heading out with a group of pumps, she was taking them to a nearby fair. She was paying for a fun day for the kids, she would take them to have fun and be merry and help them feel comfortable enough to stay with her. Minyoung was their friend who helped them with a place and they helped her with one simple favour, a favour we in turn facilitated a business we made a lot of money from. I decide to take advantage of the empty space and head off to sleep, no matter what situation and what was going on in my life and the stress of work, sleep was always easy for me. 

 

I don't know how long I was asleep for, but when I open my eyes its dark outside, and next to me was a butt naked Minyoung leaning on my chest. I could have kept going and slept to the next morning, but something pulled me out of my sleep briefly. A feeling on fear sent my heart jolts me up from my bed, Kim Yugyeom stood above me sending my heart racing, but suddenly he's not there, he disappears before my eyes leaving me to figure out if I was imaging things. The younger I had met two years ago, was once a very cute shy kid. A good boy that had been dragged to the the mansion, with a cute attractive young lady who had the attention of many of the club goers. Watching on it became evident that the younger was less than interested in his young friend, his attention flitted from man to man. I could tell what he was. And what he wanted that night.

 

When i approached him his eyes lit up looking over me, over my body, it was clear that he liked what he saw. I greeted younger and quickly took him from the dance floor, impatiently I kissed the younger on the way up the stairs. I liked the look of him, he was tall big and built, and honestly speaking I enjoyed breaking in virgins. He was easily seduced, and Impressionable, he was someone who would do whatever I asked when and how I wanted. Over time he would come when I called and I often used him whenever I needed an itch to scratch. He had even discovered my identity as a drainer, unafraid the younger offered to be my pump. For months he stayed by my side and was obedient but like most teenagers his mind changed. His heart changed he ran away back home from his friends and family, leaving behind his cute little boyfriend Kunpimook. 

 

Kim Yugyeom was a concern to me, still, he was unlike any others who had left, he wasn't normal kid. Feeling burnt by me, he was dangerous, smart and spiteful not to mention strong, I was relieved that he had left and never made a return. With Kunpimook gone he had no reason to return, but why did I have a bad feeling in my gut. It takes me a while to finally fall back asleep, instead of thinking of the threat the younger caused to me, I listen to the breathing of my bedroom buddy. She was definitely comforting to me.

 

The next morning I meet up with my right hand man at the nearest coffee shop, for some reason the elder wanted to meet face to face for this update. I had a feeling I knew why, so I would sit through this charade for now and listen to him. "Wang Jackson was there again, he's been hanging around a lot recently" he complains. Junho reveals the person accompanying Jackson was what surprised him though, "That girl you turned. Bae Suji? She was there", surprised I watch Junho as he ponders that maybe due to her experience with me that Jackson was using her to identify me. " That sly bastard" he mutters under his breath.

 

"Our mole seem to think that Wang is hot on our case, be careful", Junho suggests that we should move some things around. "I got leases on new spaces seeing as the current ones are getting to an end. Lets keep ourselves hard to track", I nod my head in agreement, anything to put some space between our empire and the cops who seek to end it. There is a brief silence before Junho clears his throat, "how's Hwang Chansung?" he questions. I internally grin, this what he had wanted to see me for. I knew Junho loved Chansung it was pathetic but I sympathethised. Not enough to not stop fucking his love. However he was loyal and would stay around the man he loved. "Fine, he seems in good spirits" I briefly update him, a smile of relief creeps up on his face, even if he couldn't have him Junho would be happy if Chansung was. The dedication he had was interesting. 

 

Later that night against the advice of Junho, I head to the mansion, I do my best to stay incognito. On my way out of the mansion I spot an agitated Jackson questioning a club goer they speculate the identity of the elusive JB. I smirk amused and listen into the brief conversation, through my eavesdropping I find that the person is actually a Jang Hyemi. The journalist was cute little thing, petit, slender, pretty with wide enquiring eyes and a short brown pixie cut, I could understand why she was so popular. Jackson seems charmed when speaking to the excitable young woman as she promises to write a piece on the elusive figure JB. Hyemi politely asks for his cooperation ,Jackson is excited believing the coverage could lead to witnesses coming in. Jackson expresses his appreciation before he excuses himself to enter the club.

 

Jang Hyemi does not follow after him, instead she turns and heads to a car parked on side of a road nearby. Seeing her as I problem, I decide to carefully follow her. Working quickly I steal a car and follow the new trouble maker, although my ears were sharp, I could not hear anything she said in her car. I follow her as she drives into a suburbian neighbourhood, it was peaceful and quiet. I keep my space between us and hidden, as she passes friends and neighbours, sneak into her small little villa. Her security is grest and top of the line, but fortunately I keep my eye open and follow her inside. Once inside of her house, I do not keep my guard down and keep myself hidden and wait for her to shower and get dressed.

 

She gets ready for bed and lies in bed dressed in a comfortable night dress, she makes a call with her boyfriend excitedly pedalling the story. She was sure with her big name the story would help her become an even bigger, she was fame hungry but veiled it in the need to take down a villain. I listen in to her call and wait for her to relax and sleep. When it is finally silent and dark in her room, I carefully sneak inside of her room and climb on top of her sleeping and still body and pin her down. After a few seconds I felt her body tense up, "I will get you when you least accept it. I know you, if i could find you like this Jang Hyemi imagine how easy it will be to find you" 

 

She gasps so I cover her mouth and eyes to make it traumatic, I wanted to scare her as much as possible. Although she tries to struggle underneath me, she was too petit and weak and her attempts to bite me felt like small nips. "Don't look into things you can handle, write your idol scandals or i will ruin you", I whisper nudging her legs apart with my knees. I wasn't going to do anything, but just the mere suggestion would heighten her fear and thats what I need, I needed her to be scared. " I'll be seeing you" I deliver a kiss to her forehead and climb off of the trembling woman. I hear whimpering and decide to make my way out. It had to be done, I was defending my empire with pre-emptive moves, if she was fearful of the ghost JB she would avoid talking about him and the less I was discussed the harder it was to track me down or catch me.

 

Outside of the condo which housed our pumps, Yugyeom was sat casually waiting. Seeing the younger I blink to check if I was seeing things, but I was not, there he stood looking dishevelled, dirty and covered in blood. I tell him to come with me in order to avoid him gaining attention, I force the younger to shower and clean whatever trouble he had been off of himself. Once cleaned and dressed we talk, the younger reveals that Kunpimook was still avoiding him he asks what happened. "How did he escape?",I shrug casually he was linked to the cops so he was someone we didn't want back. Yugyeom frowns disapproving, "now he's back home playing straight", his words are bitter. 

 

After a few minutes of his jealous complaints, I tell the younger that I was not interested. As I usher Yugyeom out of the condo, I warn him not to misbehave any longer because the trouble he makes leaves consequences he could get caught. "Whose fault I'm like this?" the younger bitterly ask, "don't be a victim" I tell the younger, showing clearly that I was no sympathetic. " You left Kunpimook here alone, can you blame him for not wanting you anymore?" I ask wanting to stump the younger. "I was to come back, I couldn't control my thirst, if I didn't i would have killed him" he desperately reasons. 

 

"Its not my problem" I cruelly cut of the conflicted younger. "Now leave and remember I know way too much about you, if you mess up i will bring you down with me" I threaten. Yugyeom smirks in response as if he found my genuine threat amusing, but without another word he leaves the younger was still a problem for me that I was tempted to simply rid myself of right here right now. But I would wait till he acted of line before punishing him.  
The next morning I go out to a local cafe that I enjoyed going to, it had good food and was never too busy. I was there to meet the recently freed Jokwon, despite a harrowing week being held by Nigerian authorities he still looked well put together. Kwon reveals that he had been able sneak out of detention, "politicians are so corrupt, money makes them so easy" he quickly skips over the story of his escape. Instead he is only too happy to brag about the lovely weather, the welcoming people, the amazing parties and the African prince. 

 

Admittedly I was quite jealous, but despite his fun time abroad, he was hard working, he put work first. The elder was flamboyant one of a few people that genuinely made me laugh, he was lively and it was infectious, even for the cold hearted me. Over a delicious and large meal, we talk and suddenly he reveals what he had heard on the rumour mill. "LP is looking to stop an out of hand killer on the loose in Asia" I groan internally at his words, LP were a assassin squad of strong drainers. "We don't need them on our case, I'm sure Channies boyfie has told you to lay low", "now I'm telling you, we need to lay low. Kwon was rarely serious so I sit up and take notice, "they don't support our kind of practices lets not call attention to ourselves" he warns. Appreciative I thank him, I pay for his meal and head on out.

 

Stressed and overwhelmed at the thought of all the people who were on my case, so many people wanted to take me down and right now it was feeling like too much. Without thinking I head to a place any place, my body takes me to the person i want to see the most. I stand across from the Coffee Bean, hidden away. When I get there and see Yien and Youngjae leave work hand in hand, not far behind I quietly follow the pair. They head to the bus stop, I continue to follow on, hidden in my hoodie, watching them they're so touchy and close. Yien loved Youngjae it was so easy to see, he was someone I did not like Youngjae being around.

 

Youngjae waits with the elder briefly at the bus stop and they chatter excitedly about the approaching end of their school year. Youngjae leaves earlier excusing himself, "going to see your man? Ugh how sick?" Yien teases. I perk up unable to resist I follow the younger, I wanted to see this mystery man I had been left in favour for. Keeping myself hidden I quietly trail Youngjae. One the way he turns suddenly but fortunately I hide and climb up a dumpster onto a roof, from above I track the younger, outside of a world cuisine restaurant, does his boyfriend work here? 

 

After a few minutes of waiting outside, it starts to rain, I stay still, my curiosity getting the best of me. I see Youngjae at the front and rush out of the restaurant with a man in hand, both had their hoodies up. I could tell it was Youngjae from his height, build and the fact he was wearing a red hoodie. His lover wore a grey hoodie, he was taller but a little more slight. They rush down the road hand in hand trying not to get too hit by the hard rainfall. They stop suddenly when they find safety of alleyway, nearby on another roof I watch from above.

 

Youngjae stands closely next to his lover whose face I had yet to see, they are live and excitable chatting. Youngjae was bright and shining unlike I had ever seen him, he is glowing his eyes shining as he watches his lover. I was overcome with jealousy looking the back of the hooded man's head, what was so amazing about him? Why had I lost to him? I continue to torture myself watching my former lover as Youngjae leans in to kiss him. He grips the arm of the slender man, gripping his arms he holds the guy still and leans in to kiss him. It was interesting to Youngjae being the one to instigate affection to his lover whose arms slide around my waist pulling him closer.

 

Youngjae cups his hooded lover and pushes him over to the wall behind him, he leans onto him and kisses him firmly. I try to take peek at the hooded man, he is hidden by his hood and Youngjae's passionate kisses. The kiss progresses deeper as Youngjae suddenly pulls down the hood of his lover and I makes his way down her face and neck. As Youngjae sends a flurry of kisses down of his spine, I finally get a view of his lover and am left stricken. 

 

It had been so long since I had seen that face, for a person who was supposed to be dead he looked pretty good. He closes his large eyes wrinkles forming, he bites his plump lips in response to Youngjae's touch. It would almost be amusing if it wasn't so sickening, how could these two have met and be together like this? It made no sense, Park Jinyoung was supposed to be dead and in the ground.

 

However here he was eyes closed face flushed with a red, being dominated by the younger. It looked like time had frozen, he still looked so beautiful and devilishly angelic. It was strange watching him right now, but part of me always believed he was alive despite what Seulong told me. For my own sanity I had tried to believe him, to move on and never think about him. He was meant to be part of the past, he had ruined my life in the past and I put him behind. 

 

However he was, he pushes Youngjae to the wall and leans in to kiss the younger on his lips. I'm conflicted, the shock from seeing an old lover with the ache of jealousy watching the one I had grown so fond of. I had fantasised so much about Youngjae, about getting further than the heavy petting, I had wanted to badly to fuck him. But as I watch him grip through my ex's raven black hair, he controls all of this and he probably has no idea. Any small moves he makes dictate the direction and pace, he cups Jinyoung's face pulling him closer. I had been here before, I had lost the control and submit to Youngjae and the desire to please him.

 

Jinyoung moans through the breathy kiss, his hand slipping down the waistband of her trousers. Despite my jealousy I stay watching on as Jinyoung expertly and slowly wanks off the younger, Youngjae pulls away from the kiss and cups Jinyoung's face before whispering reservations which wins a chuckle from Jinyoung. "We can't leave, not until I make you come" he whispers displaying that seductive charm.

 

"Holy shit" Youngjae mutters giving in, he grins and whispers back. "If we're going to do this then we shouldn't hold back, suck my cock. Please" how sweet, how sweetly he could make that request. Its enough that Jinyoung submits to his knees in front of his lover, Youngjae watches as the elder whips out his cock.

 

He had changed, Park Jinyoung was braver and fearless. Years ago he would have hidden behind the large closet door, but now he proudly leaned in to suck his lover's cock. How had he been so lucky? How did Park Jinyoung manage to seduce my Youngjae, the Youngjae whom I had worked my charms on in hopes of seducing. It had been my initial goal, I had wanted to fuck senseless but of course I enjoyed the chase. Unfortunately I hadn't got to the fun part. Suddenly the rain slowly lets up, going from a large down pour to a drizzle and disappearing fully, but the two lovers below me were so caught in each other.   
Jinyoung was enjoying the length of Youngjae's cock. He licked the length while stroking, Youngjae watches on with baited breath.

Jinyoung bobs his head taking the length of Youngjae's cock all the way down his throat. Youngjae moans out loud, no longer holding back, the glorious sound that I had hoped that I would one day illicit. The younger grips through Jinyoung's raven black locks, his hips bucking into the inviting mouth. I had been on the receiving end of his blow job before, usually it was in the secrecy behind a locked door. But here he was, he could get caught by anyone this alleyway wasn't a popular route but people still used it. However the pair didn't care, Youngjae was too busy enjoying his cock being sucked. By my ex. 

 

Caught up in the sight of it all, I watch and leave the lovers uninterrupted, until finally the good priests makes his lover come. They both excitedly chatter and kiss and are so lost and caught up in their passionate clinch they don't notice the approaching passerby. A short stocky man who looked to be in his forties in the very least, the man wearing a mask of disapproval rushes to them with a bat in hand. "You disgusting bastards! What the hell do you think you're doing?!!!", the man shouts startling the pair. Youngjae quickly tries to hide his modesty, he puts himself back in his trousers and zips on. "Come on Youngjae" Jinyoung says with a grin on his face, he decides to grab the younger's hand and pull him away from the angry man.

 

In reality Jinyoung could probably handle that man with ease, but it appears he was keeping that from his boyfriend. Instead they run away from the man with bat in hand, I wait till the pair around the corner, and so I drop down to the alleyway below and in one fowl swoop, I grab the man stop him in his track. The elder turns my way ready to swing in defence, but I block the impact with my wrist, although there's a break but I keep going. I cover the fearful elders mouth, ready to end him. It would be funny if it wasn't completely pathetic, here I was defending my exes. 

 

Soon after I head over to pump, I rush over to clean up the blood, there was a lot of blood and some flesh that I need to clean up. Minyoung who was on the bedroom waiting for me, she watches some drama on her laptop and doesn't initially address me. There is a brief silence until the younger expresses her concern to me, but i reassure her that I'm fine. I tell her we're moving out tomorrow and to get the kids ready for the move, she groans in response.

 

" We're moving again?" she complains that it was getting harder to convince the youngers. Annoyed I snap and tell she can stay and face Jackson and his suspicious journalist or move with me. I was frustrated, Minyoung seeing that backs down. She breathes deeply before getting up to reach and pull me into a hug, " sorry oppa" she pulls me into her embrace. I hug her back gripping at her clothes, "I will do it, I will do whatever you tell me to do" she whispers genuinely. 

 

Wrapping my arms around her waist, I hug her back and we stay like that, "I'll get us something to drink" she says pulling away. I accept her offer and she quickly leaves me alone. She stops in the living room to chat to the pumps, she reveals the news of the move. The younger's reaction isn't well, but I knew that Minyoung could charm them down, she needed them around too.

 

Sleep doesn't escape me normally, but that night its hard, my ex was with my ex. How had they met, how long, what was their relationship like I wondered. Last time I had seen Jinyoung he had been lying on the ground covered in dirt and blood. I had been told that he had died by my hands, yet another lie told by my hyung. It irked me knowing he had been lurking around, well rather than being sure I had suspected he might have lived. However right now i knew, that scumbag had lived, he had survived.

 

What confused me was that Youngjae had said his ex was married, was Jinyoung the married ex? Had Jinyoung got married and kept up his lie? He had pathetically kept lying to himself, but now he was happy and out? Happy and out with my Youngjae. Yes. Youngjae belonged to me, he was mine. I couldn't and wouldn't stand for this, why had I stopped the man earlier i didn't know. Maybe for Youngjae, or for Jinyoung my first love.


	16. Control

Yugyeom's POV

Could I ever get away with saying that my life had been troubled? On the outside it would be hard to say that, you could question it after all, I was the son of a wealthy couple, wealth that spanned generations on both sides. I would be the future recipient of that money one day.

I had grown up spoilt, I could eat what I wanted, but also I had the healthy foods that were not available to other, luxurious meals cooked by foreign chefs. I was also very well dressed, designer clothes since I left the womb, my mother prided herself in how well I dressed. I was the only child of Lee Junghwa and Kim Minhyuk would always be well dressed, I had to represent her and my family correctly. She was vain and looks, appearance and social standing is all that happened. Like most the wealthy I had grown up around, my mother however had more aspirations and greed for wealth. 

We had to be the richest, the smartest and the best looking. She liked what it looked like on the outside, but never paid much consideration to the happiness of her small family. She neglected her easily distracted father, but unlike the wife of a man who was cheating, she did not turn her attention to me and ensuring my happiness. Never did she put in effort to bond with her child, I saw the nanny more than I did my mother who often went swanning around for social events. I had grown up bitter and resentful.

Barely with parents around me, I grew up with the household staff. I didn't have parents who could explain to me the facts of life and guide me down the right path, I had to figure out my own feelings and emotions. I even had to manoeuvre myself through the journey of discovering my sexuality, not that if I had an attentive parent I would have done with them, but I needed the emotional support during that. I had been so alone and had to leave the house to find those,love and support.

So I didn't leave my house because I came from a troubled household, no I left because I need love and support. However I went to the wrong place for that,I was just used.

I take in a deep breath and look out at the Seoul skyline, our expensive private school building was so close to the city so I could fortunately slip out of class and sit on the roof. No teachers bothered with me, I was smart and way ahead of other students and my father was a large donator to the school. 

The weather was good today, too good to be sat cooped up in class, the skies were a bright blue with a few passing clouds. The breeze was amazing, days like this were very few and far between, I would selfishly enjoy them. However my peaceful moment of isolation is quickly ended, with the loud entrance of a familiar face. The rooftop door bursts open banging onto the wall, the beautiful tall and slender Kim Gyuri stalks over to me. She looked great, she always looked great, with a modelesque frame over 184cm she was taller than most people at school, her slim and somewhat flat body free of curves. 

Her face was striking, her small close together crescents, her nose was straight and idea, a beautiful cheek bone structure and pouty lips. "Here he is Kim Yugyeom, the private school delinquent", she jest me, she sits next to be and nudges casually. "Aren't you also a delinquent?" I counter, she was here with me after all.

"If you actually paid attention you would know lessons ceased for break...i am on my break, you're a delinquent" she teases me. " I guess I'm a delinquent" I give in and decide to lay back down on the tarmac and look up to the sky again. Gyuri lies down next to me and hooks her arm with mine, whilst she leans her head on arm comfortably. 

"You're the school's best looking, most intelligent, and talented boy... How come you're so reclusive?" she knew the answer to this. Yes, despite my best intentions I was popular with the other students, I was high achieving in school grades, and some what good looking or so they said. My family background and status lead me to be popular, even as I purposely ignored most of the student body, it somehow attracted them to me. 

Kim Yugyeom was the elusive chaebol's son who had disappeared for a year after partying, doing drugs and have lots of sex, I was the school's own version of a rock star. I had boys envy from the assumption that I had done nothing but fuck sexy grown up women,and I had girls desperate to be with me, for status. None of it felt genuine, that's probably why I had easily ran away to the mansion.

Well no that wasn't exactly the truth, I ran away for the promise of good sex, initially. That first night I had gone to the mansion with Gyuri, she was trying her best to show that she understood me. Despite her obvious feelings for, feelings she had never once hid in our ten years of knowing each other she still supported me. 

After my dramatic coming out which involved me getting drunk and shouting throughout my house that I was a boy who liked to kiss boys, and look at them. Gyuri had to accept the truth when the next day I didn't brush it off as a drunken event, instead I told her firmly that I was gay, and to my surprise she accepted this. Reluctantly so, it took her a while before eventually she openly supported me. She had invited me out for a night to a club that she had heard would fit my "styles" and so she took me to the mansion.

It was a wild night that evening, my excited eyes readily took everything in. Gyuri was more confident and comfortable in the space, she drags me onto the floor, knowing how much I loved dancing, I joined her. After a while I was able to loosen up and was able to show my flair, dancing excitedly it had been one of the best days of my life. I was free and around people who were like me, I wasn't a stranger or a minority, I was at home. 

That night I fell for the first time, its difficult to say if what I had experienced was indeed love, up till now I haven't figured that one out. The fact that he was still alive despite all that he had done to me, the person he had turned me into, the scary person whom Kunpimook seemed to fear and avoid. I had not always been like that, I had been made like that, by sex and by Jaebum hyung and sometimes those felt like one in the same. He had been my introduction to sex, that first night at the mansion he had sought me out. The tall, handsome and striking then stranger had felt magnetic, he was so cool sexy and mysterious and like a moth to a flame I ran towards it. 

Jaebum was so much more experienced, such a passion and effective lover, who changed me. I had imagined my first time so many times, it would be with thr person I loved, we would both be virgins who awkwardly discovered and loved each other's bodies. However with Jaebum everything was exciting, fast I faced, erratic, sweaty, sensual and mind blowing. Unlike the soft romantic sex I had dreamt of, it was passionate, exciting and rough. Being with man, it was so different and rough and something that took me sometime but eventually I enjoyed it. 

That night ended in euphoria for me, I had experienced a pleasure that I didn't want to let go, for a long time. The high of sex was a drug I would soon become addicted to, until one day it was taken from me. With Jaebum hyung in Shanghai doing some mysterious criminal business, I was left alone to my devices. Unable to leave the place we stayed freely, I find myself seeking solace on the internet, that was where I found love.

Kunpimook was an internet companion, he had suffered so much at the hand of his school bullies. I had grown fond of him, i wanted to protect him, to love him. He was the love I had seeked before getting clouded by sex and getting involved in this cult. He was bright, warm, kind, funny made me laugh more than anyone else. He was special to me, someone who I had to have, someone who had imprinted themselves on my heart. 

However things happened that left me unable to cope, I couldn't be a drainer and be around him, I was more dangerous to him. I had promised to protect him, so I left him until I could be strong enough, however before I could get it done, before I could be the person that he needed me to be, Kunpimook left, he ran back home. 

 

I take a deep breath and try and heave the stress of of my shoulders, I was starting to feel quite anxious. Plans were running through my head, how could I get him back? "Whats troubling you?" Gyuri's voices breaks through my thought bubble. "Are you thinking about him?" she sounds jealous, "Don't think about him, think about me" Gyuri demands. I chuckle amused in response, she still got jealous despite knowing how I felt. I unhook Gyuri's arm and slowly get up before dusting myself off, "this place this place is boring". Taking one last look at the Seoul Skyline, I turn to head off away to the rooftop door, although I knew I could jump the four storeys down.

"You should make more effort", Gyuri wanted me to be more immersed in school life. She wantwd me to socialise and have good school memories and be normal, "where are you going you? can't leave!" Gyuri complains. "Its a break and I can do whatever the hell i want" I dismiss her and run down the roof top stairs, she chases after me but I run skipping stairs and get down quickly. 

Gyuri's voice soon fades away, I head to the fence and I swiftly grip at the fence. I swing and swivel above and jump off to the other side I rush away ignoring Gyuri's voice again and I rush to the road side to hail down a cab. I was hungry, and thirsty, but I knew a place close by that could solve only one of these issues. So I hope into the taxi and head on off to my next destination.

 

The ramyun was piping hot, spicy and completely delicious, so delicious that I often had several bowls much to the pleasure of the restaurant owners. The restaurant was an old fashioned noodle bar which made extravagant and delicious foods, I enjoyed coming here often when time permitted. 

Admittedly food wasn't the only thing that bought me here, no I often came here to watch the owner and his wife. I eat as I watch them tell a loud extravagant story to the whole restaurant, they were an old enviable couple who often let me be when I skipped classes. I enjoyed watching them interact, it was like watching your grandparents and I needed them at times like this, when I was feeling a little empty.

Recently I had been voyeuristic, I felt safe looking from the outside in. Stood on a rooftop across from his school I stand and watch my precious Kunpimook, he had PE class at this time and was on the outdoor basketball game. I burn inside as I watch on trying to control myself, I watch on as he is targeted by a group on an opposing team. They prey on him and try to seclude, Kunpimook does his best to do dodge. I have to steel myself and stop from jumping down and ripping one of those assholes throats. They had cause him so much pain, taunting him and leading him to runaway.

They had tried to mess with his self esteem and dimmed a light in him, I had seen how much he had been hurt and I hated them. I watch on as Kunpimook ignores the taunts he receives and continues to play being an important part of the game, he passes and shoots. He celebrates with a taller, bright and sparkly eyed pretty boy, surprisingly it seemed that their friendship was earnest. Kunpimook grins as the friend fondly fluffs his hair and pushes him away.

 

Kunpimook is quick moving back into the game and he manages to intercept the ball and with the help and support of the pretty boy he shoots and scores from the sidelines. He celebrates with his friends, I grimace at the sight of the sidelines, it was that short little beard of his. I should have ripped her throat out, but Kunpimook wouldn't have pleased if I gone through with it he was far to fond of her. If only he had met me and hadn't kept ignoring me, then it wouldn't have happened I wouldn't have lost my cool. 

Why is was he hanging out with her? she had sat back and watched as he had been ridiculed and hated on. She was not loyal, Kunpimook needed people who wouldn't literally watch on from the sidelines, why was he showing her affection? Jealous I bite my tongue, I can't run up in there and swoop him up even though that's all I wanted to do. I needed to control myself, but who was that guy, the mysterious guy who was stronger, stronger than i anticipated. I didn't like him, he was a fixture in Kunpimook's life that I didn't like.

Patience, I needed to have it and wait. I couldn't force everything into action, I wanted him to love me again and I had hurt him so I had a lot of work to do. I Sigh briefly content I could just watch him like that, for hours he was beautiful. So I do, I watch Kunpimook go through his day, as he does he finishes his day after what looked like a boring math class that he was trying not to sleep in.

I knew how much he hated maths, he would complain when we played simple games that involved counting up. "Calculators were invented for a reason" he would say, often sending me into laughter. I loved him, and love him for who he was, for admitting he struggled with simple adding and subtraction, he was an honest and open book with me. 

Once the school day is done, Kunpimook leaves with a new group of friends, they had recently formed up and apart from the beard, I knew nothing of them. His friendship circle had grown and it looked like he was happy and content. My blood boils as one of the new additions to the clique, a guy tall and good looking slings his arm around Kunpimook and watches him fondly. 

The group animatedly talk about some history presentation and their nerves. The guy encourages him and kisses him on the cheek, however nothing bad happens no one protests apart from Jimin who teases the pair. Worse yet is Kunpimook is complicit he looks both flustered and excited and is about to lean in to kiss the other but he freezes fear in his eyes he looks at me. I turn quickly but I hear his midget cheerleader ask if he was okay. "Oh, It was nothing" he continues walking with his friends. He looked so comfortable, I wondered if he really thought of me as no one?

No longer able to watch my object's desire being fawned over, I rush off and head to the place I called home. As I arrive into the large spacious expensive Kim Mansion, which was situated in wealthy gated neighbourhood. The theme of the house had many whites and golds, a lot of marble and wood, the furniture was expensive, stylish and plush. 

It was a home designer's goal, and the pride of my mothers 21 years of hard work and taste. As I make my way through the large marble white foyer towards the royal like stair case my pathway is blocked by Woo Hyelim. My father's young pert current wife, "your school called again" she greets me with a stern face. I roll my eyes and try to manoeuvre around her but the slightly elder is so determined. 

Hyelim reveals hasn't told her father, probably an attempt to win my favour, she had kicked my mother out if her own house and position as wife. Not that I cared much, my mother is a self involved pig, she kept her appearance to the end of her marriage pretending everything was all well and good. My father replaced her when nature took its course on her, he got the peppy upbeat new toy who he wore as arm candy but hardly did anything else with. 

To the outside world he was a macho man who got any woman he wanted but in reality he was a pill popping asshole. My father couldn't get his functions up without the little blue pill so the pair often slept in different rooms their marriage loveless. I'm sure Hyerim was taken care of and paying an pre marriage debts paid off. I didn't hate her in all honesty, in fact I felt the opposite. 

For some reason she had taken a liking to me despite my attempts to push her away she seemed to be the only one in my life who actually cared. I pat her fondly on the head and promise to study, "you have to eat first" she demands. " Don't worry noona", tell her i will be ordering a pizza, she teeters of excited to get her purse.

Once upstairs I head up to my bedroom, it showed no real personality and instead looked like a five star suite from a hotel. The house owners had left it this basic and I had never felt the need to do anything else more. Once inside of my suite I am greeted with the sight of a nude, my neighbour Park Hara perfectly she posed on her knees, her legs wide, everything showing.

Despite her her position I show no reaction, she does nothing for me, I wasn't her market although she was desperate to sell herself to me. Its pathetic I openly criticise her but she's determined, "come on Yuggie. Aren't you even a little tempted?"

Hara unike Gyuri was more open and straight forward with her intentions. We didn't go to the same school so she took advantages of nights like this, trying to seduce, despite knowing she still tried. "You're missing a little something that I find important", I try to dismiss. I ignore her and head to the bathroom to wash my face however she follows me,"I could always be flexible and strap you on" she retorts. 

Disapproving I push her forehead and hand her over a dressing gown, "I meant a brain you dummy" she grins in response and does not dress up as I had hoped. I ignore her and head to my shower and get quickly cleaned up, I notice Hara casually sitting legs crossed on the sink watching me, watching me shower it wasn't the first time. 

"Are you staying in and actually eating that pizza or are you sneaking out to do all that creepy night stalking you do?" I switch on the shower to ready the heat. In the meantime I strip down, not feeling feeling conscious of the eyes watching me. I shrug i wasn't quite sure at this moment, Kunpimook was home studying more often with his college entrance exams coming up he was becoming more intense. So I didn't fancy sitting in a tree outside his house watching him reject my calls and texts, and I definitely didn't want to see him do it in favour of kissing that little goth jerk.

Realistically I should probably stay home and study myself but I could never sit still comfortable, I was far too uncomfortable feeling the need to do something. Hara asks me out for the night, "I want you on my arm tonight for our study class, I wanna see the blood drain from that bitch Sora's face when she sees you with me". I roll my eyes at the thought Hara's relationship with Sora as frenemies, their families were close and so often forced interactions between the two. They were pretty girls who were always competing in all aspects, Hara won in popularity, Sora won in intelligence and all that was left over was their romance.

Hara had a bad record in comparison to her enemy's clean slate. The pair were both competitors in that field and unfortunately I was the prize in both their eyes, despite Hara knowing my preference she still wanted me. Partly because I know she loved me but also because she wanted to defeat Sora, I was her trophy. I had obliged her in order to shut her up, but the act was becoming tiring. "Awwww come on" Hara groans hooking her arm into mine, "I don't want to go to that bitch's study session alone! Come with me, I'll buy you coffee" Coffee? I wasn't coffee obsessed but the coffee shop had an interesting view, I was hopeful that he was here tonight, it had been a while since I saw him.

Hara pulls me into the coffee shop a with a victorious grin, she leads me into the coffee shop and towards the study group of a dozen. Ignoring the envious stares, in the corner of my eye I check the front counter and feel a victory of my own. This visit wasn't fruitless, he was here and tonight wouldn't be so boring for me. Hara carefully leads me directly over to Park Sora, they greet each other with air kisses. 

On the outside they seemed like good friends but its easy to see the look in their eyes shows something close to hate. "Yuggie, you're here!", Sora excitedly greets me, she hooks arms with me her eyes filled with adoration, unlike Hara she really refused to believe that she could not have me. "Yuggie. You're here how great", I can feel the burning gaze of Hara in the back of my head. I excuse myself to get drinks for Hara and I, "awww my baby! You're so sweet!" She coos taking her seat ignoring the sour expression of Sora, or maybe she's revelling in it.

Amused by the pair, I head off to the counter to get served, bored he drums down onto the counter but he suddenly straightens up spotting me approach. He recognises me instantly "oh, you're here?" he greets me just about managing a smile.

"Ahhh yes. About last time, I'm sorry" I smile charming him. There is a brief pause as he blinks bewildered, he was cute in a way, i had to admit, he chuckles brightly."No problem!" he reassures me with a warm smile, "anyway what can I get for you today customer?". I give him my order as sweetly as possible and watch him as he takes the order, even if he were cute overall he was an average looking guy un his twenties and wouldn't really especially pop out. 

However he seemed to be a key an important player, I try to casually as possible ask his name and how long he had worked here. I work my conversational skills, I was putting a lot of effort into seeming casual. I note his intriguing accent and he reveals he was from Mokpo and was a student there only being here a couple of years. He easily hands over that information so drop in the fact I had seen him around with Kunpimook recently. 

I was dead curious of their relationship, but I didn't want him to know just how much. I casually bring up Kunpimook, "we met at the mansion" I tell a half truth. Youngjae seizes up a little at the sound of the place, "ugh that place" he says with a grimace. I reassure him that I had escaped eventually, but I was a little guilty I left before he did. I had been through a lot and selfishly left my best friend.

Youngjae seems to sympathethise "I'm sorry to hear about that, that place is not pleasant", he says. I ask if he has been, he explains that he hasn't been in a while. He used to go with friends but he is uncomfortable with the place, "there are bad things going on there". What does he mean by that? Does he know what was really going in the mansion, what was really happening or had he just had a bad experience? I asked if he went alone but he reveals it was with a friend, but before I can press further Sora calls out for me. So reluctantly I pay for the food and thank Youngjae before heading out.

During the study session I don't pay much attention. I knew most of these things well, during my time as a pump I had lots of free time which I spent reading and writing and skimming the internet. I grimace thinking of that time, I genuinelyhated that time as a recluse. I tune out the study group and sit and watch Youngjae in the corner of my eye as he interacts with another employee.

They seem friendly tactile pulling faces exchanging stories, the other guy tells a funny story of a sexual experience with melted chocolate. They speak hushed but I am still able to hear the details carefully, due to the hilarity of the story they laugh wildly catching the attention of a disapproving Sora. Hara rolls her eyes but focuses back in studying, she hated studying but she wanted to be better than her frenemy. 

Youngjae soon makes his way out and it seems that his shift is over. He heads out before his friend, desperate to see more of him I stand up and follow him out excusing myself not waiting for an answer. As I make my way out I see him the guy who had saved Kunpimook's beard, if I wasn't mistaken his name was Park Jinyoung. I had seen the pair together together several times and it made me suspicious. 

In a rage and anger I had attacked Youngjae but was scared off by two girls not wanting to be caught, he fell down the stairs as a consequence but he was not hurt. I still wondered about their relationship, so I follow them to an apartment, the same apartment i had followed Youngjae before. I surmise that this was Youngjae’s place, what was his relationship with Jinyoung, did he know that Kunpimook liked his boyfriend and that they met? It made me mad

Carefully I sneak into Youngjae's apartment, I do my best to not be heard and watch and listen to the the two interact. They head to the bedroom, from the next room I listen as Youngjae complains about his school. Jinyoung seems to reassure the younger, they laugh and joke between themselves until that dies down and eventually Ihear moaning and groaning. Soon enough it all becomes quiet, when I peak through the crack of the foor I sneak a peak and watch Jinyoung and Youngjae. 

Watching Youngjae I felt indifferent I didn't have the desire to hurt him but Jinyoung i felt a fire. He had gotten in my way and continued to do so. The silence is broken when suddenly I hear a rattling of the front door keys open, suddenly Jinyoung sits up and looks around I quickly duck to keep out of sight.

A pair of people come rushing through the apartment, the pretty boy who was with Youngjae at the coffee shop chases after a slim and pretty girl. I was hidden behind one of the sofas and praying to god they headed to the wouldn't notice me. I hear a brief back and forth between the pretty boy and Jinyoung, it was hard to tell whether they were friends or not, they were so catty. Eventually both enter their respective rooms, I allow a little bit of time pass before sneaking out. Tired and unable to find anything to do, I head to my house, I should probably get a bit of sleep.

When I finally arrive home, my attempt to sneak to my room is fruitless. My father catches me a few steps from my room, it was rare when I got to see my father, he was either at work or I was out all night. How long had it been since I had last seen him? He looked older, a few more creases on his pronounced forehead, and his hair was slowly getting whiter by what felt like the minute. I struggled to feel sympathy for the man and the stresses he had in his life, not when he cared so little for me. 

He only had me around to keep an heir to his fortune, there was no love or affection and I had come to accept it. " Answer your mothers calls" he sternly instructs, instead of being concerned about my return at a late hour, my father wanted to let me know my mother had set up a dinner with her tomorrow. He tells me to answer her calls as he does not like being bothered by her, I would be sad if I expected more from him. However I don't so I simply apologise and make my way into the room

The next day is a weekend, I spend it at home for most of the day lazily relaxing. I had no intention of doing anything or getting anything achieved and just like that the whole day passes by quickly. So quickly that unfortunately I have to get dressed and ready, unfortunately if I didn't go tonight she would start visiting me and bugging me, so I oblige my selfish bitch of a mother. I take the car that my mother sends over, she continues with her show of extravagance, I could have taken a taxi over, that would have been easier.

Dinner with mother and her new boyfriend is expensive and unnecessary, she enjoyed the show of it. We went to a popular restaurant which would ensure many eyes would be watching as Lee Junghwa was spending time with her son. She had never made any hands on effort like the mothers I had seen with school mates, even though they were rich, they showed great affection to their sons. However my mother didn't give a shit about me, no she seemed desperate to get me to know the "young gold digger". 

Despite being with a new man my mother still clung to my father and her past, she sourly and coldly hurls many a insults to my father. I didn't really give too shits about that, but when it came to planning my life, it boiled my blood. She expresses her hopes for her only son, for my education in a top class university, to take over my family's business and to get married. 

Those all sound like normal aspirations mothers have for their kids, but when, tells me to work well with Sora. My mother encourages me to pursue Sora,with her family is in the same business and she wouldn't mind a merger. I grimace throughout the whole dinner, and don't bother hiding my lack of interest for her or her current toy boy, he meant nothing, neither did my mother.

Once the excruciating dinner is done, I rush to the person I really needed. The moments where I felt full of hate, I wanted to see Kunpimook find him, take him talk to him. Fortunately on the way to his house I find him alone, walking home. It was an opportunity that I had barely had in a while. When I carefully approach him in the middle of the street he seizes up, he had a bag of what looked like groceries. Had he been shopping, he didn't look particularly dressed up, with a white tank top that showed off his skinny toned arms with skinny jeans and what looked like slippers. He looked so very adorable, I take a deep sigh feelings a bit better.

Kunpimook watches me silently, he looks a bit wary but he's not scared as before. "I had a really hard day" I admit him, "I feel cold and its hard" I say what comes off the top of my head, I was always like this with Kunpimook. Fortunately I am able to get a reaction he seemed sympathetic, as I explain what had happened with my mother today he patiently listens. "I want you to be happy" Kunpimook admits, "you make me happy" I reach for his arm desperate to hold him, but he tries to pull away. "Please Kunpimook, I will protect you" I keep a strong grip on his arm and lean in to kiss him, surely he would know how I felt and remember our chemistry if l kiss him, he always enjoyed kissing me . 

Unfortunately before I can get close to him I feel Kunpimook pulled away from me, we are interrupted by the goth boy from Kunpimook's school. My blood boils immediately, "aren't you the guy who choked Jimin?" he steps in front of Kunpimook protectively. "Do you feel like a man? Hitting a girl?" he mocks me, the grin on his face, I wanna punch it off of his face. I try to swing and hit him in his smug face but he ducks and kicks me down. Frustrated I quickly get from the floor and try and attack him but Kunpimook shields him. "Stop this!"The look in his eyes, the progress I had just made was wiped away. I sigh frustrated groan feeling defeated, before heading off wordlessly. 

I head off to a park nearby, I was stressed and upset my head throbs,I realise that my wild behaviour was because I was suffering from thirst. I had not been managing it well, as much as I hated to admit it, the thirst was controlling me. I stay on the park bench still trying to get my bearings. My vision was blurry and starts to blot, when an unfavourable memory flashed through my head. It was almost a year ago, I was upstairs of a pump condo, I was alone in a room with a pump Jaebum and Minyoung supposedly trusted.

The gross and larger elder held me down on the bed and before I could try and force him off of me, i could feel him draining. Despite my attempts for him to stop and press my warning buzzer he holds my hands and continues further until my vision blurs. I was weak, breathing becomes shallow and suddenly it gets dark I knew I had died, I had to have died. 

However I didn't and It was shocking, "wake up" I hear a familiar voice call, I blink and find next to me Minha. She had turned me, it turned out that she was an undercover cop or something. Of course Jaebum and Minyoung disapproved as she had killed the pump in order to save my life. While Jaebum explained to me what had happened and the addict i would become, Minha was there she seemed to care. She had turned me into this creature so I thought she would take responsibility for me but she left me soon after without a word. She looked different, her hair was short and blonde and her fashion was expensive. She looked good for someone who had abandoned me.

"You look like shit" she comments. She easily lifts me up and carries me and drives me to a nearby pump. We sit in na corner booth in the dark and have a drink, the place looks familiar but I don't really give it much thought. I ask what she was doing. She explains that she is town in business and wanted to see me. "Makers love their made", she says with a grin, her words send shiver down my spine. " Its been so long we have seen each other. I've finally found you", she was looking at me? What the heck, she insists that Jaebum and Minyoung disappeared with me despite her desire to keep him.

"You were mine, I wanted you to stay by my side" although she seems serious I find it hard to believe her. I shrug her off, I was nobody's and I was sick of being owned. I only left with Jaebum and Minyoung to stay closer to Kunpimook I lie but eventually I had to leave because my urges were not yet in control. I was meant to return to him but he had left before I could. She listens with a sympathetic ear "are your urges out of control now?" she asks. I didn't know, I just knew that no matter how shaky my urges got, I would never kill Kunpimook, I wouldn't hurt what was mine.

The next morning after a whole night spent at the pump and quenching my thirst, I wake up feeling a little bitter. Minha was no longer there but something told me she had stayed long enough to see me sleep, even with that affection it was hard to believe that she really looked for me. I had never known where Kunpimook lived even when he came to the mansion, so when I returned to mansion to get Kunpimook back I suffered weeks to track him back. Eventually I did, because he was worth he effort and the bother, because I love and needed to check if he was fine. I found him and. I was desperate to get back.

So first thing I do once I have a bit more blood inside of me, is head off to find Kunpimook. From the rooftops I track him down a couple of streets away from his house, he was freshly dressed, in a pair of ankle high jeans and ad and a loose pink shirt and slippers. He was not alone, he was with Park Jinyoung and they were both drinking iced teas and caught up in conversation. 

Jinyoung discusses studying for a police exams, as he describes his stress, I note the way Kunpimook watches him. Its is very different from the way he watched the kisser from his school, It was how he once watched me. That look was mine, It belonged to me, because he belonged to me. I knew that could defeat the goth jerk, but Jinyoung seemed stronger. I would need to take him down, but something told me that I wasn't strong enough. I knew I had an ally who would share my interest. 

I head off to the last location off to the person who I knew could help me, chances are he had moved.I didn't fancy the hustle and bustle of the mansion so I would find his place. I had been able to track down one of the pumps, I had followed them to a condo in Seoul. Fortunately I find him still there, I sneak in without much of a bother. I realise there was still an operation working in the apartment, the pumps were in a shared room still sleeping Minyoung was cuddled up to one of the new recruits. 

 

Had they been out late? Usually when Minyoung and her pumps partied long into the night they slept into the day. I watch Minyoung briefly, she was a great manipulator foresight had allowed me to see that but back in the day she was like a mother and sister I really needed. She was also apparently an addict too, her face was stained with the blood of one of her recruits.

Jaebum was in the next room, the curtains were close the room was dark. Jaebum lay sprayed widely on a king sized bed, he snores lightly and had his mouth wide open, he was definitely asleep so I carefully kneel down on the bed. I lightly drop down next to him wrapping my arms around his familiar body. He slowly stirs and mumurs awake and turns to me, he is immediately defensive in position, he seemed shocked. I lean in to peck him gently on his lips and hug him close. Leaning my head onto his shoulder, he strokes through my hair. "You usually just watch me. What's different today?" he asks with a fondness. "I missed you of course" to which he chuckles in response. 

"We have someone we need to take down hyung" I state. "Why would i wanna help the runaway who run from me?" he teases me. "Because you want what he has", JB shifts a little showing his interest, "Who he has" he asks. "I need him dead" Jaebum seizes up surprised with those words, had I changed to him I wondered. "Who are you talking about Yuggie?" the elder softly asks, there's a brief pause before I finally answer.

"Jinyoung. Park Jinyoung", there is a silence in which he doesn't reply he just simply hums and then eventually whispers. "Hyung stayed up and needs a little sleep, we'll talk tomorrow" he says while affectionately patting my back. I don't argue i don't want to push him, he was an ally that I needed and Jaebum was a person who disliked being pushed. So I lean my head back on the head of my former lover. He had bought me and Kunpimook together, maybe he could bring us back together.


	17. Bite

Jinyoung’s POV

The train passes nearby shaking the apartment and surely the building next to it, however the walls were sound proof so the tremble was the only thing that gave away the passing of the train. Located in the backstreets of Tokyo was an apartment complex, although murky looking on the outside the inside was a different story. Each apartment had four rooms each which included the bathroom, two bedrooms and a living room, dining Area. The floors were wooded and the wallpapers were very tasteful. Each apartment was furnished with comfortable and cool furniture, the top two floors were special however as they worked as a safe house.

Today Jia and I were on the top floor talking to former Korean prostitute Hani, she had been Tokyo just over a month. She tells us the harrowing tale of being forced into prostitution to support her family, her desperate actions had led her into a dangerous situation. She had been kidnapped by the dangerous and elusive JB and his organisation. "Dozens of girls were brought over, the operation they have its already in play", I get shivers down my spine at the thought of all those missing girls.

"There were a few waves that came in, right now they are about fifty girls there", Jia sighs disapproving of it all, she mutters disparaging insults about JB, not that I blamed her. "Its a tight operation they have guards there too, I barely escaped with help", Hani still looked quite scared and haunted by her experience, I felt protective of her. "Who helped you?" Jia asks carefully, she was a great example for me, she was someone who could wring out the truth from a person with her gentile and kind nature.

"Takuya Tomo, he works there as a guard. His dad is the head guard" Hani explains that whilst his father is comfortable with the operation that took place. Takuya was feeling conflicted, he worked to provide for his school education but he doesn't seem to morally agree and helped Hani escape.

Hani is fortunately very open and helpful when she reveals that most of the guards on the team were drainers, including Takuya's father and they were dangerous. "They change locations all the time. They rarely stay in one place longer than a week, it was like this in Seoul too", the last bit information was little disconcerting it just made this search for JB that much harder.

Later that night after our talk with Hani in which she expressed her desire to go abroad to start a new life, she was running away as fast as she could finding Seoul no longer safe. So with the help of Jia who uses her contacts she gets that set up, smuggling wasn’t right but realistically Hani was someone JB might target. We needed to make sure she was safe and that meant helping smuggle her out of the country, needless to say our night is busy and its not until very late that we head to the hotel our group was staying in.

Jia and I make our way to the grand suite, in the luxurious room we meet with Wooyoung and discuss what he had found on his travels too. Wooyoung reveals there were new pumps popping up around time, more crimes in Tokyo similar to Seoul. "It appears there is a familiar phenomenon is happening here in Tokyo" Wooyoung wonders out loud. " Either the same person is to blame or more doubtful there is copy cat. We all surmise with the help of Hani's testimony that this was definitely JB's doing. So making the plan for the next day we plan some more information searching, Jia offers to find out from her police contacts and they break for the day.

It was tiring going from pillar to post trying to find new information around town. The drainer community in Tokyo was surprisingly quiet, they seemed to keep to themselves. It was hard to find a willing witness, Hani was the person to open to us three days in and it seemer she only trusted us due to our Korean connection. People wouldn't open up to the foreigners and break the rules set up by the Le Protezioni, they were all very scared.

Wooyoung had used deceitful means to regain my allegiance, he hadn't exactly threatened Youngjae's life and if he did I wouldn't believe him. Le Protezioni were protectors not only did they bring order within the drainer community, but they served to protect humans. Wooyoung had tugged at my heart strings and need to protect Youngjae and the people around me, with the help of the Le Protezioni I could achieve that. He had bought me along to Tokyo after hearing news of more drainers popping up, Jia had invited herself along wanting to help as well as find some more information on JB.

There had been whispers that he had been in Tokyo, Jia had people to talk to and she would report to Jackson as far the criminal aspects were concerned. Jackson was also now reporting to a higher authority than Minjun, it was all becoming top secret, Korea couldn't afford to cause a stir. To the authorities it had become apparent that these deaths weren't just terrible murders and people were becoming unstirred.

Although things had quietened down in Seoul, le Protezioni and a few of the stronger drainers including myself had banded together and had taken care of the emerging group of dangerous drainers. The responsibile and second strongest of the le Protezioni Minha had been in left in charge of the vampires that had been left over, Yerin and Joongki were all keeping Seoul safe, all fond of Youngjae each was making sure to keep tabs on my boyfriend while I was away.

"Tokyo is huge so we won't be able to pin point where these drainers are attacking from, but if anything goes down tonight at least we'll have somewhere to start from", Wooyoung instructs. Wooyoung and I had a long history, he was the eccentric leader of the European branch of Le Protezioni.

Back when we had met he was simply a senior member, a casanova there to pick up his latest squeeze. However somehow he had managed to sniff out my identity as drainer the second I stepped of the plane, he said it was my behaviour that gave me away, I was never quite sure what he meant by that.

He approached me later that day to talk, it turned out that he had tracked me down during my time spent there. He had seen me defend a woman who was being attacked by dangerous drainer, in a fit of anger and fresh off my ordeal with Jaebum, I snapped and killed the man. Wooyoung who had been spying on me had seen this and expressed his interest in me.

"Sometimes a ruthless hand can save the world" he set a proposal to me in which we would kill monsters like Im Jaebum. I took him up on the offer still bitter and resentful and we travelled across Europe to where there was influx of out of control drainers and we took them down.

We worked well together but the work to me was soulless, I had spent so much time convincing myself that I was a victim and I was killing these drainers to help other victims, when in reality I had unresolved feelings of hatred and was just feeding an uncontrolled monster of anger.

As I head downstairs to my suite Wooyoung goes with me, he had a booty call and was heading out. We were sharing the same lift so a brief conversation occurs, "you look good now adays, you let yourself age little, it suits you" the elder teases. "Does your boyfriend know how old you are? You look incredible for a man approaching his midlife? Wooyoung jokes with a satisified grin. With great timing the lift stops to my floor and the doors open, "Have a a good night hyung" I excuse myself and head to my room.

"Ah Skype sex, nice!"I hear him shout out before the lift doors ding and close. I sigh, as smart as that man was, he was really annoying. I take out my room card and swipe before entering the safety of my room, it wasn't a suite but it was a comfortable hotel room with comfortable bed, a shower and a brilliant view of Tokyo's skyline. I would make the most of the lavish hotel room and free wifi provided by Wooyoung, was pennies to him, he had accumulated a lot of money over his many years and had no issue spending it.

Once I make myself comfortable on my plush soft bed, I switch on the laptop and set up skype and call the one who i missed so much. After a few rings which I patiently wait for, I am rewarded with my milky faced beau. He glows the small screen at me, my heart pangs with longing, I reach over to stroke the screen as an automatic reflex causing the younger to laugh.

"Hey old man thats not how it works", he teases with a chuckle, I laugh along. My true age had been the one thing that Youngjae had easily digested, in fact the younger enjoyed teasing me and making jokes revolving around that. "Ahjussi, are you sure you're warm. I hear people in their middle ages are more to get sick", he says before throwing his head back to let out a laugh. Teasing was nothing, not if it made him laugh. As long as his eyes were no longer filled with fear, then he could make fun of this middle aged man.

How close I had been to losing him never left my mind, I had been so close to losing him. The look of fear he had weeks ago, when he had caught me ending the life of Han Kisum. I knew what it had looked like, I had looked like a cold detached killer. Youngjae had looked so frightened, the blood drained from his face pale replacing the fondness I had grown used to. I was convinced that I had let him go, and had let him go, instead of trying to explain all to the younger I let him come to his own conclusion. I had worked so hard to hide that part of myself to Youngjae, I had pretty much gone cold turkey and outside of the case I tried to not acknowledge the existence of the drainer community or lifestyle.

"So have you made any progress today?" Youngjae asks, showing an interest in this trip and all that it involves. His curiousity had meant many nights we would stay up and discuss different aspects of the drainer lifestyle, they varied from do you feel anything when you're exposed to the sun? To serious and sometimes unanswerable questions, what did if feel to have this addiction? What was the difference between killing a drainer and a human? Youngjae was understandably curious but he was doing his best to show no judgement to me and my regretful past, thankfully he decided that he would support me and had trust in me. One question I was fond of was when he asks when I would return to him.

"In a couple days, why? Do you miss oppa?" I tease the younger who awkwardly laughs. "Yeah old man. I might just end up taking Yien and Suji on their offer of a threesome" he teases, causing me to feel a twinge of jealousy. "You would never do it. You're scared of vagina", I counter sending my sweet boyfriend into a fit of laughter. The screen shakes briefly as he laughs and I just sit and simply watch, I wanted him laughing and happy like this always."I'd probably take my chances with noona than hyung", the younger finally adds while wiping tears from his face, words that bring me relief.

Yien would always be someone I was wary of, he loved Youngjae equally if not more than I did. He had the years of history built in his favour, he still knew Youngjae more than the younger even knew himself. More than I could ever know him, he knew what buttons to press and how to wring the truth from him, and find a solution. Thankfully it seemed that Youngjae hadn't revealed all of the truth to Yien, I'm sure if Suji was willing to reveal her own story then he would eventually find out about my own identity as a drainer.

However for now Yien was in the dark, Youngjae was only showing him what he felt necessary. He had bluffed off his sudden disappearance and trip to Mokpo as an overreaction to a lover's quarrel, he made up a story in which he believed that I was unfaithful. Something Yien could readily believe, needless to say I had been given a stern warning from the protective elder and we had been able to move on and forward.

"So... Are they different over there?" by they he meant drainers, Youngjae was still in his stage of fascination so I was doing my best to humour him. "No. They speak Japanese here and they eat sashimi" I jest much to Youngjae's amusement. Although we were sharing warm moments I was happy to lead the conversation from the complicated and murky drainer business, so I bring up his exams. He had one more before he was free for the summer and I knew he was beyond stressed "how do you my petal?” Youngjae immediately groans very cutely in response, "aish hyung come back and save me from this hell!”

Being the best and most ever supportive boyfriend, I offer to stay up with Youngjae for a few hours testing him, I would much rather be with him. Holding him, kissing him, talking to him about fun things. It feels like we never ever got to do anything fun, for a whole year our relationship has been full of angst. We had these good moments, I knew we could make the long haul as far relationships were concerned. We had a jumped over our latest obstacle and I was sure we could make it over the next ones that get in our way in the future.

Fun. As I lay down to sleep, my call with Youngjae ended. I think over ways that we could have fun, extraordinary surprises for my extraordinary boyfriend. My romantic and fun side had been stifled after all this time, I had never found anyone worth the effort. However there was no questioning how worth he was to me, I decide to step on my pride and consult with Yien. For now I had to focus on the task at hand.

Unfortunately the task doesn't get any easier the next day, there is still a wall up from the local drainers. JB worked his criminal empire so well that it was almost impossible to track, even traces of Hwang Chansung were only present in legitimate businesses. No one was willing to talk until an ex girlfriend of Wooyoung speaks up.

Mimi was well aware of our search for JB and the pumps he had bought into Tokyo recently, so she offers to help. She knew of a new pump owned by foreigners which was operating in a club in the city, and owned by Korean foreigners. Mimi gives us the address Wooyoung suggests that we go in as customers later that night.

Needing a little bit more back up, Wooyoung flies over Minha to join and come out and help us. The four of us Jia, Minha, Wooyoung and I head to the club that Mimi had led us too. The club was a little seedy, not too packed with only a certwin type of clientele, the clientele who has lots of money. Wooyoung's obvious wealth and fortune which he flaunts allows us all entry as part of his entourage.

We head to the corner of the club as playing the part of rich foreign drainers here for a good time. We hire champagne and a small group of girls, looking around we see just how seedy the club was. There was an open display of alcohol, drugs and the usage of pumps, it was hard to watch as some of the girls looked uncomfortable and definitely under durress.

As I chat to one of the girls assigned to our table who seemed to be fresh out of high school, she was so young and scared. Just how the hell did she get in this situation, I was so worried I watch her feeling overly protective of the young girl already. "She's cute right?" I hear a familiar voice whisper in my ear, arms are wrapped around of my waist surprising me. When I turn I see a familiar face that I wasn't expecting it, Minyoung smile and greets me.

"Park Jinyoung, it’s been a while hasn't it?" She hooks her arm with mine and clings to me, "I didn't know this was your type of place. Do you drink?" she says nodding to the table of blood bags. I half lie and tell her although I don't drink, I was here with friends to party. "It’s my pre-engagement party" Wooyoung intervenes and makes up some lie about his family forcefully setting him up soon.

Wooyoung also asks if Minyoung would be willing to join our table and celebrate with us, offer that she readily accepts. I know what he was doing, he knew she was some how close to JB or at least knew his identity and he would try to get her drunk and take advantage of a loose tongue.

Minyoung stays by side through out the night, she seems to know more than she lets on so I let her believe that I am interested in her. As well as flirting heavily with me Minyoung is busy dancing, partying, mixing alcohol, blood and drugs all at such a rushed pace that its hard to get any questions answered no matter how small or big they are. Its not very long till the petit and buxom blonde passes out in the corner having pushed her body too far it seems. Wooyoung and the others filter throughout the club to get information from others while still under the pretence of party goers, whilst I stay with an unconscious Minyoung.

Needing the get some information from her, I decide to take an unconscious to the hotel, once she woke up I would be straight up and get the answers that I needed from her. She lays peacefully asleep on my back and with the help of Jia who causes a scene in the club I am able to sneak her out. I carry her through the back streets as a short cut towards the street Wooyoung had parked his car, however as I make my way in the dark alleys, a scream grabs my attention.

I pause briefly before walking in the direction that the scream seemed to come from, when I hear another yell of a male voice that sounds way too familiar. My heart starts racing a little bit more, I look around and spot a dumpster near by to hide Minyoung behind, I was going to have to fight and wouldn't be able to do it with her on my back. "I'll be back" I promise the unconscious younger, I stroke through her hesitaant about leaving her but I hear another yell so I rush to the source.

Around the corner from the dumpster the torture scene I was expecting turns out to be a kidnap scene, a group of the crooked guards I had seen inside the club sharply dressed and uniformed in blue surround Wooyoung. The group turns to me as if they were expectantly waiting, some even smiling menacingly whilst looming over Wooyoung who was on his knees.

The elder was absolutely frozen in his spot not moving an inch and I quickly see an injection in his arm are responsible. They looked similar to the ones Jia had used on Suji before, I assumed these worked in the same way so when I see one of the guards with a gun directed my way. I speed away before I can get hit and carefully hide away trying to assess the situation.

From what I see there are six or seven people, it would be hard but I could take them. Fuck, just what had Wooyoung gotten himself into? Last time I saw him he was mingling with guests inside of the club, everything seemed to going well. I don't get much time to think of what could have happened when I feel a harsh kick at the back of my legs, when I turn to see the culprit I'm surprised to Minyoung lunge at me. She looked dangerous so I quickly roll away, however he attacks don't cease, she quick and her attacks are pretty quick. So I do my best to block her attacks until a couple of the guards come around to join her, I decide to up my attacks land a few punches on some of the guards briefly incapacitating them.

Four on one begins to get a little difficult so I decide to keep on the attack and on my first opportunity, I would duck out to an alleyway to briefly gather myself and call for help. I swing and kick Minyoung at rhe side of the head against the wall, as she falls I hear a crack of bone and her goons go to her side immediately concerned. I don't get to worry how brutal my attack was as a fresh new waves of crooks rushes towards me,I decide to rush away and hope that Minyoung was the drainer I thought she was a would heal. 

The dark alleys aren't exactly ideal for running in but they were definitely ideal for hiding in, they veil me as I listen out for the goons and think up a plan. "Jinyoung" I hear my name called out hushed, suddenly I look across to another alley and see it was Minha. She was also hiding and she looks like she had been in a fight. Her hair is unkempted, clothes ripped, t looks like she had been involved in a fight, her expression was that of frustration. "It’s a set up" Minha whisper shouts across to me, apparently word had gotten around that the le Protezioni asking questions.

"It was probably that bitch Mimi" the younger theorises who could have been involved in the set up. It wasn't clear how we got in this situation, either way we're in a sticky situation I think to myself, and we were outnumbered. "Is Woo okay?" I nod my head to quietly confirm hoping we wouldn't give ourselves away, "how many people are they?” I was sure so I shrug, there seemed to be more coming out of the wood works to attack so we should be ready to put the work in to fight. Minha nods her head in response, "we don't have long to figure out a plan-", Minha cuts herself off as she leaps up above me to attack an approaching drainer.

More come and we are left to fight them, we partner up to attack and snap the necks off anyones who were unnaturally persistent. It could be easily guessed that those were the drainers that Hani had informed us would be here, a team we worked well and quickly and the small group is taken down.

We don't get much time to relax as a group of three come at we fight harder and harder, eventually we knock those down removing heads. We keep going and head to Wooyoung, however a crowd of drainer with them is freshly healed and annoyed looking Minyoung. The younger looked pretty vengeful for my attack on her earlier and she instructs her growing group of goons to attack us.

A group this size would be nearly impossible for the two of us to handle. Wooyoung is still frozen and in a very dangerous position, feeling a responsibility towards him I decide to defend him whilst protecting the elder. I would put my life on the line to protect him and fortunately it seemed Minha felt the way and was helping me out.

The pair of us stand in front of him to protect him and fight, however it doesn't taken long before the volume of attackers from all cylinders becomes overwhelming. I am finally captured and held down my several drainers, they me no wiggle room to try and pull off a reversal or escape. I look to my side and see Minha was also being held down by a couple of drainers, despite her struggles it was futile and neither of could escape our fate.

Minyoung sternly interrupts us “cut the bullshit and asks where we are from, what we want and don't fucking lie to Me", one of the reaches for my arm and and begins to try and snap it out of its socket. It a tactic to get to me to speak, Minha tells me not to speak, I don't plan on it. I wouldn't give away information that could end up harming other people, so If we die then we die. Minyoung slaps my face annoyed with our obvious defiance her complaints seem to insinuate that Wooyoung had answered similarly.

"Alright if you won't talk, then snap their necks" Minyoung instructs her goons, however before her orders can be carried out people start to fall down suddenly. They fall down like domineoes, onto their knees frozen in position, our attackers let go of Minha and I qnd fall down. "The cavalry is here!", I turn to see Jia and two different people approach with her. All have two guns strapped, they continue to shoot down.

Some of Minyoung's drainers sensing the shift in the fight decide to pack their losses and call it quit escaping the alleys. They run leaving Minyoung alone who looks a little bit more concerned, she slowly backs away. "Fine. It seems I won't get my answer, you won't either get some from me either" she says before running away from this almost fatal scene.

Later on at the hotel we regroup after our close call we were all a little shaken, had it not been for Jia and some back up she had in Tokyo we would have died. Wooyoung the leader of our group is disappointed our line of questioning is cold. "They're on to us" he looks frustrated at this notion, and I understood him. If JB knew we were onto him, he would become much harder to track and we had scraped such little Intel to get to this point. With a cold trail what would we be able to do to catch our criminal? "Let’s go back and regroup. We'll need to abe under the radar for a little while, JB's arm reaches further than we can imagine" he was right, JB's organisation was dangerous to us now.

They had seen our faces and essentially us and our loved ones could become targets, we needed to be careful. "Plus the kids say it’s getting more dangerous in Seoul" so we rest not for long and make our leave in the morning slightly broken and defeated. As the leader being caught off like that Wooyoung made a little quieter, I knew he had to be irritated by that close so leave him alone to his thoughts. He had a lot to think about and in all honesty so did I.

I spend the night thinking about ways of protecting myself and Youngjae, I had shown myself to a dangerous enemy. I would have to be careful of where I went, to make sure that I wasn't tracked down and that I bought no harm to Youngjae. In the morning we head off on the first flight back to Seoul, but instead of heading to Youngjae's place like I had planned. I spend the extra day that I had been given to set myself up. I head to the only person I knew could help me out with my request, i didn't know how welcome I would be however.

"Jinyoung, it has been a while. Hasn't it?" bishop greets me fondly. I had dropped by his house without warning but he had still welcomed me with open arms and allowed me to use up some of his precious time. His home was much like bungalow I had stayed at before in my timr as a priest, it was humble and warm. "I had become worried about you, i didn't know how to check up on you", he seemed wuite genuine but Bishop Hwang was never one to lie. "What do I owe this visit?" the elder asks lightheartly, the sparkle in his eye and the warmth from him was still felt.

The bishop had been a family friend and was set up as the of my parent's estate, when they died they left most of their fortune to me but it was to be managed by the elder. For a long time I had not dipped into those savings and hadn't needed to gain his permission, however today things were a little different, I needed his help. "Of course I will help you" I feel relieved, I knew he would say yes but even still it’s nice to hear it. "For a house? For you and the young boy?" he questions no judgement in his voice at all, he sounded like an uncle who was genuinely interested in me.

However he didn't need to be involved in what was going on now, I simply tell him I wanted a nice house and I needed to find somewhere safe. "Safe?" my choice of words piques his interest, although he seems more interested than concerned right now. "Things are becoming uncomfortable for me, I need the money my parents left me, is that possible?" I try and shift his attention from digging more. He's briefly silent before nodding his head, "yes I can get the money transferred over you later".

Grateful to the elder I thank him and excuse myself to leave, after all I was "busy" and honestly still uncomfortable to be so close to such a holy space and person. "Don't concern me so much so visit more often" the bishop says as he escorts me out. "Bring the boy if you want" he says warmly, although I appreciated his warm invitation I didn't think I was comfortable with doing that yet. I still had some unresolved feelings with the church and I didn't think Youngjae would be up for it either. So I simply thank the elder once more, say my goodbyes and head off.

My afternoon is spent with a realtor driving around the outskirts of Yongsan looking for a new place for me to move, I had a lofty budget and so I would be spending it well. The realtor is a peppy young and attractive woman, who seems very passionate about her job as well as finding me a house.

Her eyes sparkle as she shows me around the third of seven houses we was to show me and it’s not long before I fall for the place. It was a two story home on the outskirts of town, with a front and back yard, the front working as a driveway covered in pebbles. Most importantly the house had brick walls surrounding it and a gate which was the only place for exit and entry.

The security wasn't perfect but it was definitely something I could work with, the exterior aesthetic was very gothic looking. The house was black and brick outside it’s covered with trimmed and maintained ivy and is finished off with purple door. Inside it was completely different, it’s a beautiful two bedroom house with a warm colour pallet. Beiges, Yellow and splashes of of orange across the walls to the cool furnitures, some soft plush and leather and chairs.

After more an inspection of the place I decide to go with my gut feeling, satisfied with what I had seen, I make the relevant moves forward. I seal the deal with the realtor signing the paper work and fortunately I am able to throw enough cash at the realtor to get the keys.

Mid afternoon Jackson and I head off to a local tech store, full of technology and gadgets which would come in useful for the house. Jackson fresh off of work comes with me and as we look around and shop for cameras Minyoung becomes the topic of discussion. He explains the reason for his disdain towards Minyoung, although he wasn't sure what he role was with her he knew she had been around his ex girlfriend Youngji. Before she had passed, Youngji had worked along side Jackson and was a rookie cop just like him, to prove herself she took up a job as an undercover cop.

Jackson explained that Youngji had worked under cover as a pump, she had been pretty successful in explaining the operations of his business. She was also close to giving new information on where JB was based and who he was, she had revealed that he was someone we knew. However she was not able to reveal her findings, she had brutally murdered before she could. It was said that JB had been the culprit but cops had never found out who was individually responsible and after that JB became even harder to track

After the death of his first love Jackson became obsessed with tracking down the elusive criminal JB. He had been obsessed with finding the crook and that obsession to do it alone nearly killed him. Luckily Jia was someone who came into his life and saved him from such a fate, she worked just as hard to pull him out of his loneliness and helped him on his search for JB. However it was obvious that Jackson still held a lot of hurt inside and I sympathise towards him. "We'll catch him" Jackson promises once again, he wasn't going to let our failure in Tokyo stop us in our tracks.

After the tech shopping spree, I head off to homo headquarters to meet with Youngjae. His welcome is warm and cute, with sweet kisses and hugs and all that I had missed about him during our short separation were being given to me so generously. He leads me to my bedroom and we relax together in his bedroom, he was fresh, clean and so we hang out. As we catch up I can tell that Youngjae was curious, I try not to reveal too much. Youngjae is very curious though, so I only reveal a few facts, those being that we met a few drainers under JB and it will would be difficult to track him.

"Don't worry hyung, you'll find him" he kindly reassures me delivering a sweet kiss to my cheek. Youngjae smiles ruffling through my hair and he pulls me close into his arms and tells me an annecdote from work. The story is that of an elderly couple who had seen Kunpimook and Jimin together, they had assumed and they were a couple and were shocked to find out instead that Joongki was Kunpimook's boyfriend. "When the kids kissed they looked so shocked" he tells his anecdote cutely, "It was so funny, the ahjumma's jaw dropped". But the ahjussi seemed to funny, it was funny right hyung? He asks before kissing my forehead.

It was, it was a cute little story. I listen to Youngjae as he catches me up on what had happened to him during our separation. He mindlessly strokes through my hair, with my head leant on his chest I enjoy the smell of my freshly showered beau. Once the catch up session is done there is a brief but comfortable silence, I break it and ask what he was thinking about. "Change me" his words throw me briefly off of a loop, I ask what he means.

"Bite me and change me into a drainer" I cringe almost regretting that I asked the question This seemee to come out of nowhere and it confused me, not too long ago this all frightened him, now he wanted to become a blood sucker?

Confused by his request I ask the younger the reasoning behind it. "I love you and i want to be with you forever..." my heart flutters in response, it always did when Youngjae openly expressed his commitment to me. " But... It'll be hard when I'm 80 and dead and you're still frozen in time" he mutters sounding quiet sulky, it would be quite cute in any other situation but right now it worried me. I tell him that I wasn't drinking blood so I wouldn't be frozen, but this doesn't seem to satisfy or quell his worries. "It'll easier for you to out live me..." he was right, with my regenerative powers it was much harder for me to be killed, but it all came with a lofty price.

"if you change me then we can be on a level playing field" the younger argues, but I still wasn't comfortable with it. No, I sternly answer that I wouldn't do it, despite by Youngjae's protests and pleas I stick to it. " Being a drainer isn't easy and I don't want that for you" he didn't seem to be taking in how difficult the addiction would be. "What about what I want?" he sulkily responds. "This is for you Youngjae" I reach for his hands and try to talk some sense into him "You will outlive your friends and family and be unable to see them" I notice a rolling of the eyes, he seemed to have rhe romantic notion in mind. " My family and I are no longer close you know that and hyung" he replies causing me to roll my eyes, he was on the verge of a reconciliation with his parents. Plus he had his siblings support, he couldn't throw it away.

The normally mature and deep thinking younger was acting unlike himself, it wasn't rational and he hadn't considered the realities so I try to explain it to him. "You could lose it and attack them" the first few months of being a drainer are hell and without a strong willpower could end fatally. "You'll teach me the same way you were taught to control by your hyung" even after being taught by Seul Ong wasn't enough, I had so many relapses in my time. I put my foot down and deny the younger and his sudden request, he would thank me in the future. "Please just think about it" he tugs at my arm pleadingly. Not wanting to discuss it further I lie and pretend to agree, I wouldn't change my mind. Satisfied with my answer Youngjae changes the topic of discussion and we talk into the night.

The next morning I wake up before Youngjae and head to the kitchen to make him something to eat, as I do I get approached by Suji. It had been a while since I had seen the younger, but looking at her she looked healthier and seemed to be managing her thirst, if she could maybe Youngjae could too. I shake my head trying to shake the brief lapse of judgment from my head and turn my attention to Suji. Her expression doesn't exactly read as warm, she looks a little bit annoyed. She asks me what happened in Tokyo, she had seemingly heard through Minha and was disapproving of it "I hear you're a tagged man, you're someone who could bring danger to the people you're with". Although it probably wasn't as serious as she was making it out, I could understand why she was so on edge, JB had caused her so much pain and she didn't want that for loved one.

"Don't worry" I try to reassure her that I'm being more careful, I inform her that had found a new place and would staying there more . Suji asks if it would be safe for Youngjae, I explain the location of the house was not only secluded but that I had also beefef up the security too. "I know its not your fault but you and I both know how dangerous JB is-" Suji says softening. I understood her concern so I squeeze her shoulder and try to reassure her that I was being careful. " Hyung, whats going on?"Youngjae stood outside his bedroom watches me concerned, it looked like he had heard our concerned. I do my best to reassure him everything is fine, "I'll be out of here by today so no one will come to trouble you"

Youngjae doesn't react as I had hoped, by trusting me and looking relieved, he still looks wound up. "Plus I'll be here in case something does" Suji adds which I'm grateful for. "Hyung what about you?" Youngjae asks concerned but reassure him that I would be fine, and if we were to meet up then I would bring him to my place and we would have to be extra careful. Youngjae is silent briefly before wordlessly turning away and making his way back into his room.

I patiently wait for the younger to leave the shower and get dressed, as he does he fumbles with simple items. The worry on his face so easy to read, I stand up wrap my arms around his waist leaning my chin onto his shoulder. I knew he was concerned about me, but I wanted him to be sure that my actions wouldn't affect him. "I could never forgive myself if you were hurt because of me, please trust me", Youngjae's body relaxes in my arms, he sighs and strokes my arm around his waist. "I know hyung" he quietly replies and turns to deliver a kiss to my lips, its a sweet and lingering kiss that gives me goosebumps. Our sweet moment is interrupted on my end when I receive a call, the ringtone which given away who the caller was forces me to answer

"Get your butt here kid" Wooyoung simply puts he instructs me on where we would meet up. Just like that I have to rip myself from Youngjae, I have business to take care of us. When we meet up later up at Wooyoung's coffee shop, we sit in the back in his office. Minha was busy so it was just, Jia, Yerin, Joongki and I gathered for a post Tokyo meeting. Wooyoung repeats his intention for us to not be discouraged by our failures and to now focus on keeping Seoul free of dangerous drainers. The number had suddenly grown, it was as if there had been a purposeful attempt make our job more difficult. " Be on your guard, this is an attack" as Wooyoung speaks I can't help but be reminded of Paris 1998.

Back then when I was part of the Le Protezioni, we had to travel due a crisis that was erupting. There were out of control drainers who were being created and encouraged by a rogue drainer called Anastasia Cross to cause havoc and kill without prejudice. Anastacia was a smart intelligent vivacious drainer, she was well spoken, confident and outspoken. She believed in her own superiority as an intelligent, strong being who had a wild dream. She wanted to build up an army of drainers, her hatred had lead her to lash out at humans, she wanted humans to feel the pain she had once felt. Despite his attempts to help her and get through to her, Wooyoung was unable to stop her maniacal plan. Anastasia was just as gifted at being elusive as JB was, however eventually she became emotional and overestimated herself and he what she was capable of. Anastacia started to believe her own hype and power.

"JB will get cocky" Wooyoung states this as if it were facts, "he already had, sending that girl Minyoung she is obviously an important pawn of his". Jia seems to agree with this despite her own time undercover which she spent with Minyoung, Jia had never seen JB up close. "If we get to her and break her down then we get to him" Jia says seemingly intense and determined. "All it takes is a Paulo" Wooyoung mutters suddenly catching attention of the room.

Paulo Costa was a drainer and had been Anastasia's right hand man, he was a loyal and kind friend. An old and wise drainer who had been by Anastasia's side, he had agreed with her sentiments of publicising drainers. We needed to be part of society, drainers were affected humans who lived underground due to fear of backlash. If humans knew there were entities stronger and faster than them with the power to stop the aging process with blood.

There would be mass fear and panic, we would become enemies to society and tracked down for testing. Like he Kasama massacre we would tracked for their own selfish purposes. The masscacre had been blamed on political disputes by two opposing tribes within the area, a story that had been signed off after a lofty donation to the government. In reality it had been an outbreak of drainers, it was a mutation created and caused by a group of American scientists.

We were lab rats to these people, needless to say they ran and hid away cutting themselves off from their actions leaving the Le Protezioni to clean up their mess. We spent three weeks in the scorching Zambian heat, tracking down each and every drainer that had been created. It had been a blood bath with to many innocents killed, we had to stay a week to monitor the area. I hated having to do it, to kill so many innocent people but it had to be done to protect others.

Later on that day I head off to my new house, I had the keys and bishop has transferred the money over. It was officially purchased and in my name, the place that belonged to Park Jinyoung. I liked this place, we would have some good times here, Youngjae and I would share many precious dreams. I was still quite concerned about his desire to be turned but flattered, he wanted to be with me. For a long time, we could spend years getting old grey together.

My desire to protect him grew stronger, I wanted to protect our future. Still paranoid I work the day to buffer up the security of the house, the brick wall and fences were sturdy, so it was left to me to set up a camera system. Fortunately I had learnt how to set such a system up over the years, so that keeps me busy for a while. It would be nearly impossible to penetrate for a human and still pretty hard for a drainer. Our lack of preparation in Tokyo had bit us in the ass, I wouldn't let more than my ass get bit again.

With my house preparation done I head off to the coffee shop to pick up Youngjae, I was excited for him to see my place. As he gets his belongings from the back I talk to Yerin, who reveals that she would be with me on patrol tonight and she mumbles her distate at missing out a night out with her boyfriend. "We haven't been able to see each other for a while now", outside of school a lot of her time was taken up with patrols. "He must hate his girlfriend, now I have to spend less time with him in order to keep him out of danger" she says with a pout.

"You get to be with your boyfriend, doesn't it feel unfair?" she cutely complains. I chuckle and lean over to her and fluff her hair fondly. "Ignore her hyung, she's been complaining all day. If you want your boyfriend to understand then tell him the whole truth", Youngjae says joining us with his bag in hand. "I can't do that! What teenage boy wants to date a blood sucking freak?!" Yerin says with a groan. I squeeze Yerin's shoulders supportively and tell her we'll see her later.

A little while later Youngjae and head off in my brand new car which I had purchased, the journey to my new place is brief but during it Youngjae is relieved. The younger seems quite amazed to discover my supposed wealth. "Wow all this time I thought you a sweet working class boy, you trying to make sure I wasn't a gold digger hyung?"he teases me, “yes you passed the test I counter”.

In all honesty I never disclosed my wealth because I rarely thought about it nor did I ever really need it until now. I pet Youngjae throughout the drive, I knew he didn't care much about this revelation of wealth, he had loyally dated me before and that wasn't changing anytime soon. During the ride I explain to the younger that things didn't go as planned in Tokyo, but I reassure him that I would keep him safe."What are you talking about hyung, I'm the dangerous Choi Youngjae, No one will mess with me!" he jokes playfully, l was hopeful he was right.

The house tour is short and favourable, once its done we decide to stay in Youngjae's favourite room, he loved the spa like bathroom. Both of us sat in the large bath tub which comfortablly fits the pair of us eating pizza we had ordered. I had picked it up a couple of roads away, we had wine and were drinking merrily. We were so relaxed, comfortable and talking, we discuss taking a trip in the distant future.

"What about America? Its large, fun, so many places to go!", Youngjae suggests. I nod my head and agree, whatever he wanted we would do, Youngjae gets on his knees and leans over to me."Would you let me fuck you tonight, that's what i want too" he replies whispering in my ear seductively.. I strokes his face, "whatever you want from me, you can get" I kiss him on the lips, deeply. Youngjae pulls away slowly, he watches briefly wordlessly. I smile at how my heart still flutters, I reach to stroke his face gently.

"How about turning me?" I freeze with discomfort, Youngjae's hand slides down my waist band into my boxers. He strokes my length in his fist," hyung.." he whispers seductively before kissing me down my neck. "No Youngjae. I won't bite you"I try to argue. He was precious, didn't he know he was perfect as he was. Youngjae doesn't protest instead he spits on his palm and returns to my cock. I know what he's doing, he's not listening and trying to distract me. If he fucks me he thinks he can change my mind, and that confidence was warranted in my eyes. He knew what kind of effect he had on me, "Youngjae gimme your day off tomorrow. Be mine for the day" I say through breathy moans, Youngjae nods his head and agrees with it and we preceed to christen the spa bathroom and master bedroom.

 

It was pitch black in the centre of Yongsang, Yerin and I guard the area. It was a small area but we could cover it well if we used speed and listened carefully. As we do our patrol Yerin nudged me, "Speak up oppa, i will listen" she says with a knowing smile. " You obviously have an issue" she prods further, it looked like she had read my mood and because the patrol was pretty boring, she was willing to listen to me. I open up to hee admit that Youngjae wanted me to turn him, "wow" she says before briefly pausing. "Your boyfriend is dedicated" she finally speaks up, not hiding her jealousy.

"You should do it. If he wants it, oblige him" she nonchalantly encourages me. However I disagree, "he hasn't thought of what he is getting himself into, he only sees the good". Yerin nods quietly seeming to understand me. "What he saw that night with Han Kisum, I had scared him", Youngjae doesn't realise that he will become that monster. "Welp has twilight really affected our generation this much. Edward oppa lets be together forever" she says sarcastically with a bitter chuckle. I laugh sadly at how our lifestyle was made to for entertainment purposes. I ask Yerin how I was to let Youngjae down in a way he would get it, "oh I don't just slap some sense into him" he jokes. I laugh amused and nudge her playfully. We are interrupted by the screaming of a male, working to cover each other we head towards the shouting, it could a trap so we had to be prepared.

Yerin and I carefully approach the area, we find around a corner in alleyway couple of drainers were attacking a young male. The drainers were small wild looking female drainers who were both dressed in bloodied party dresses and were frenzied in their feeding off of the young boy. Yerin and I leap into action, moving quickly we pull them off of the young man and fight them. There is a brief struggle due to their intense strength due to their overuse on blood. They seemed determined to finish and drain their victim dry, but I wouldn't let that happen. I up the ante and quickly move to snap the head off of one of the victims, I also help Yerin with her slippery drainer.

Once our fight is done we try to tend to the injured victim, the bitten is young a teen he cries for his mother, he looks near death. He cries, "I'm going to die aren't i?" he asks tearfully and desperate. I look to Yerin, his pulse is weak and the ambulance won't get here on time.There was another way to save him but I was reluctant to do it, it had me morally conflicted. " Please... Help me" before I can even think about it, Yerin swoops down and bites into his wrist, I knew what she was doing. I didn't agree so i turn away and let her continue the transfer until the boy is unconscious. When she gets up to wipe her face, her hoodie was covered in blood, she had gotten herself into a mess. "I couldn't let him die" Yerin explains looking conflicted, I tell her he would be her responsibility. I would work alone she would have to take him to the safe house. "You really won't be able to see your boyfriend from now on" I say coldly, something I knew I shouldn't have."Yes I know", Yerin says looking a bit regretful but she bends down to pick up Chanhyuk and takes him away before the ambulance can reach the scene.

Throughout the whole night I work alone and fortunately there are no more drainer attacks. I feel satisfied with my work and head off to my home to my sweet boyfriend who I missed. When I get home I am greeted by my fresh faced looking boyfriend, he had woke up an hour ago and had been waiting for me. Youngjae was dressed nothing but his boxers and my favourite shirt. His welcome is warm and wipes away all the thoughts I had, I'm grateful because I needed it right now. It was him that I needed to see, so I wrap my arms around him. Youngjae leans his chin on the crook of my shoulder stroking through my hair, "So... What do we do today?" he asks.

Today was our day for fun, Youngjae and I would have pure and unadulterated fun, no angst, no arguments and nothing deep. We would be together and have lighthearted fun without the interruption of others, with the advice of Yien I take Youngjae to a theme park near the outskirts of town. Yien had informed me that Youngjae enjoyed childish and fun activities, he thought too much and worked too hard At a place like this Youngjae would be more likely to be excited and have fun. The theme park was large expansive, full of fun rides and activities and full of bright and engaging colours. We had fun, we went on many rides, we participated in many games and the day passes by so quickly.Youngjae is happy and excitable, he smiles and has a glow about him that I was so happy to see, competitive he plays the ring toss and wins me a teddy bear.

As we walk in the large crowd I begin to feel a drop in my stomach, I worry feeling like there was someone suspicious around. I look around and see no on suspicious and the moment passes as Youngjae leads me away holding my hand wanting. We work up an appetite so we head to a hot dog stand nearby, we order a large hot dog and lots of fries for us to share. Houston, the place that I had a good memories. more food. As he heartily eats a hot dog I tease the younger with suggestive jokes, his cheeks flush in response. I keep going finding myself addicted to the sound of his laughter, it was my goal to make him laugh as much as possible today and in our shared future.

Later on our way to the house, we pop in pick up some food from the restaurant Nichkhun greets us. While I'm there Nichkhun is kind enough to sort out a few hour shifts through the week and works around my schedule. "You guys seem in good spirits" he casually notes, we reveal our plans for the day. "Wow as expected Park Jinyoung! Very romantic!" he teases me with a playful nudge. "Youngjae you have a good boyfriend here" Nichkhun teases making Youngjae smile somewhat proudly in my direction. "No seriously, he brings so many customers around, but he breaks hearts rejecting them", he reveals.

"I'm in a happy relationship. He says. Yet they still come Cause he's so charming", a grin spreads across his face, I would have to remember to buy Nichkhun a good whiskey to thank him for this. "Take care of him will ya?" he asks cutely whilst pinching Youngjae's cheeks. Youngjae giggles finding the elder charming, he was so handsome it looked like the younger was falling for him. I jealousy reach and hook my arms with Youngjae possesively much to Nichkhun's amusement. I keep Youngjae in my clutches until our food is delivered and we make our way out, together.

Later we are alone with pillows to cushion ourselves in the spa bath. We sit down to eat and relax, neither really needing to talk much. The food and the company was good, the day had been pretty good and I could only hope we would have many days like this. Youngjae playfully pretends to swim in the tub, doing a front stroke, I smile watching for him briefly before eventually reaching for his hand."Do you know what today is Youngjae?", the younger shrugs making a joke about it being Thursday. It was Thursday but it was also a special day it was our anniversary, "we met today a year ago". Youngjae gasps embarrassed and apologetic for forgetting this fact but I pat his shoulder understanding that he had been busy.

"Its okay, you know now and thats all that matters", Youngjae sulks briefly at the memory slip. I laugh as he berates himself. I take a jewellery box from a bag and try to hand it over, surprised Youngjae tries to decline but i open it. It was a silver charm bracelet, nothing special but I knew he would like it so I reach out for his arm. Though he tries to squirm out of my grip arguing that he didn't deserve anything, but I keep my hand on his grip. " Youngjae take it or you'll hurt my feelings" he suddenly stops moving and lets me put on the bracelet. I watch Youngjae's reaction, he looks touched and excited.

As we lie down to sleep after our fun and busy day, full of good memories, I lay feeling content. Youngjae wraps his arm around my waist pulling me close, he leans his chin on my shoulder. "I always want it to be like this", I hum in agreement, Youngjae's hands rubbing up and down my stomach. "Hyung... Have you ever thought of turning me??" he quietly asks. I reveal that I had, but I would never do it, I had no intentions to turn to him. "I will protect you and I will age with you" I stroke Youngjae's arm hoping he was really listening. " I day that you die Youngjae, until then I won't bite you, I turn repeating this to make sure he understood how serious I was. I cup his face and pull him into a kiss, fortunately he doesn't argue back, he seems to accept it. He kisses me back and leans his head on my shoulder. I stroke through his hair. "Okay hyung" he thankfully relents, I meant it, we would die together.


	18. Selfish

Yien's POV

"Right there" Suji breathes hotly into my ears, her chin digs into my shoulder, while her slender legs ate wrapped around my waist pulling me close. "Fuck me" she encourages me gripping tightly at my length as I thrust into her. Suji pulls herself up onto the edge and leaning on the wall, I grip at her thighs and thrust harder and harder into him. Suji was a great lover, she was always present, and her mind and body were one and focused giving me pleasure. When Minha had suggested she join us for a threesome, I had thought it was an awful suggestion. However things didn't turn out awkwardly as I thought they would, in fact with Suji it felt more comfortable than I had ever felt before

Over the last few months Bae Suji had become my fun companion, the sex buddy who I couldn't get out my system. I cared for her a lot, she had snuck her way into my affections without much effort. She was fun to be around never afraid to do anything spontaneously, but on the flip side she could be vulnerable around me too. It worked both ways too, with her I could be myself, not just the wild thoughtless Tuan Yien, but also I could speak genuinely.

Bae Suji was the second best person in my life, she eased my loneliness with fun. Bored of sitting around the house Suji had suggested to me that we head out for the night, liking the talent that worked there she took me to the Thai restaurant where Jinyoung works. He wasn't here tonight so we just chilled in the back and talked as we waited for the food that we had ordered. It was strange recently we when we were out it seemed we only went to chilled environment something worried me. She seemed to be avoiding all our local haunts, like The Mansion, The Cross, The Spade and so many other places we usually went to let our hair down. Ever since her return to me after our break she had changed a lot of her habits, but it seemed that in order to distract me she seemed more willing to be adventurous. With sex, she was open with me.

So here we were in the toilet of this establishment fucking, I was inside of her warm tight and welcoming self. I continue to thrust inside her harder and faster my hands gripping her breasts rutting harder and harder. Suji grips hard my t-shirt, despite how hard I was trying, I was receiving no vocal reaction. Harder and harder I thrust into her pinning her down onto wall of the toilet. Suji made me worker harder to force a reaction, I wouldn't be satisfied unless I at least got a squeak from her. I didn't have much time, if she didn't come I sure as heck would, so I needed to up the ante. So I keep going and pull the tricks I knew she liked me to us, to position myself the way she liked and eventually I'm gifted with a loud gasp before tightening around me. I spank her ass relieved and keep thrusting until I come inside the condom that I had bought.

On the way out of the restaurant, Nichkhun the good looking owner reaches for my arm to stop me. I turn back to Nichkhun a little startled, "maybe next time you could try fucking somewhere much less public?" he suggests. From behind me Suji sheepishly apologises, "and maybe next time we'll invite you too" I say before delivering a small kiss on his cheek. Unfazed Nichkhun laughs it off and ruffles through my hair, "you're not my type kids", he says before heading back inside for business."Psssh I'm everyone's type bae” I shout out after him but I have admit that the elder was indeed cool. “We’ll crack him one day say" I joke to Suji semi joking, "Fighting!" Suji says jokes as we head off home.

After dropping Suji off home I head back to my apartment, Suji was strangely staying at Jackson's space. She was now staying there now that Jinyoung had his own place, it had felt like a random move. It was strange that a couple like Jackson and Jia were letting her, I know they were doing Jinyoung a favour until he moved but why suddenly were they letting Suji stay with them. Suji claimed that due to some issues with rent at her old apartment she needed a cheaper place and Jia had offered the space. The explanation made sense but something in me didn't believe it, I felt like something was up.

According to Suji she knew Jia and Jackson through Jinyoung and they had gotten along well, she confessed that Jia especially was a good influence in her life. Part of me suspected that the younger was interested in the older woman, not that I blamed her. Meng Jia was an attractive, sexy woman, if she wanted I'm sure she could have Suji. However I wasn't jealous, I could never be jealous when it came to Suji. She was more loyal than I was, she was someone who had more to worry about, and I had admitted that I had a wandering eye when we met. Fortunately she was confident enough to trust me and with that it felt like I was under less pressure.

When I get home I'm relieved to see Youngjae, more ideally he was alone in the kitchen cooking. Jinyoung wasn't on his hip, he was all alone and free. My best friend of six years had been a lot more dependent on his boyfriend recently, it was actually quite gross to watch. I rarely even got to see him now that his beau had a house of his own. The house and car that came with that seemed to come out of nowhere, all this time I had thought of Jinyoung as some pauper who was slowly working his way from the bottom. Youngjae was ahead of him and out of his league and admittedly I was hopeful he would realise that and end things with him. I still foolishly hoped that maybe one day he would end things with Park Jinyoung, the thorn in my side.

Youngjae accepts my proposal for a late night in, we eat, drink, and watch our favourite movies and just chill. It had been a while since we had done this just the two of us, to me it felt like Youngjae was becoming more distant. I was feeling slip away in front of my eyes and there was nothing I could do about it. I was seeing slowly Jinyoung was working his magic and was getting in between us. However I wasn't going to lose my grip on Youngjae, all these years had passed and I would never leave his side. So taking advantage of this night in I start reminiscing with him about our past school memories. I reveal the story of my brief romance with one of his fellow students, we had a causal relationship full of kissing and groping, I had left the boy love struck but I wasn't interested. "I told him I was into you" I reveal casually, leaning my top half on his lap. 

"Really?!!" Youngjae is shocked, after all I rarely kept secrets from the younger. “No wonder he was such a dick to me, He lead the Youngjae anti fan leaguee" he jokes off his past as a victim of bullying. "Not Kim Hanbin right?" I tease him, Youngjae sadly smiles in response. "He seemed happy last time I saw him" he quietly comments. Despite his attempts to minimise his feeling, his love story with Hanbin had been quite impactful. They weren't people who simply dated, no they loved each other, it wasn't just a first love but it could be THE love.

As much as I disliked Kim Hanbin, he was a wishy washy and spineless little daddy's boy. I could admit that he had really loved Youngjae, he was surely stuck between a rock and a hard place with his family and in his position I wasn't sure if I would have done any different as he. I knew Youngjae had loved him too, he had loved Hanbin so much that despite the pain he could see ahead coming in the future. He stuck by his man, Youngjae had been with closet cases before but non that affected Youngjae like Hanbin, he had years and years of memories linked to him.

Even now there were times I knew he was thinking about his first love, when we went out to eat meat I knew Youngjae must be thinking of Hanbin's large appetite for meat. If we were watching a movie, his habit of mixing popcorn and chocolate was a taste he acquired from Hanbin. I hated thinking about Hanbin, but in order to understand Youngjae he was an important figure, he had molded Youngjae and his habits of love. He had tested Youngjae so much, over and over and each time Youngjae stayed by him, once Youngjae was in love he was loyal to the core.

Something told me there was a sad ending coming for Youngjae and his beaux and despite this I knew that Youngjae would stick by Jinyoung. It had taken Youngjae years to repair himself after his first love, he had even dated other people but none who impacted him like Hanbin. Not till Jinyoung, now that the two were together and in love I was scared that Youngjae would become a broken man again. If he broke again I wondered if I could ever repair it, would he let me or would he retreat. Our ffirst week in Seoul the younger had been depressed, he was a zombie in the day, he was someone who was crying at night. I promised Youngjae that I would be there to put him back together and I did, I forced him to get a job, I forced him to have a social life instead of staying home to mope.

Youngjae and I lay on the sofa cuddled up, I lay between his legs and he wraps his legs around my waist. This was comfortable, despite being in our own relationships I was not willing to change our own to adapt to that. I loved the intimacy I had with him, despite his attempts to pull away I always got my way with him. He would give in and strokes through my hair, I could really get used to this kind of treatment. I closed my eyes feeling content, I wanted this moment to last forever, however there is brief interruption as my phone rings. “Hyung, aren't you going answer it?” I search shift a little and find my phone. I check the phone and see it was Suji calling me, I casually answer and lean my head on Youngjae's lap. The younger strokes through my hair whilst I take the call with my girlfriend, I honestly explain where I was and what I was doing.

Suji senses a change in tone and asks if was concerned, she asks if am okay. “It’s a little hard" I reply, she asks if it was because I was struggling with my feelings for Youngjae. Suji knew how I felt, I had never once even tried to hide it but even still she stayed with me and never felt bitter towards him. "Why do I love him, and why can't I stop?" I ask her openly she chuckles and sympathises with me. "Oppa, rest well, hug lots with him while you can" she instructs me, to Suji as long as I was happy then she would be, I was lucky to have her. Following her instructions I climb into Youngjae's bed and hug him close to me, taking his scent, feeling the heat of his body, I was so greedy for these feelings, my mind spins trying to figure out how I could steal it for myself. I would never let it go.

The next day Youngjae finishing off his work while at school, he had a little bit more left before the end of the year. I had been done on my course for the year so for now I was taking more courses. Joined by Jimin we take advantage of a customer lull and talk, the younger expresses her desire to study eEnglish. Jimin was studying wanting to become a translator in the future, our conversation works as a way to flex her skills. , I should work out more. Right? I'm short so if I work out and lose weight I'll get a boyfriend like Yerin has" she complains self consciously. "You're cute as is kid" I try to reassure, but people never listen though. My looks always gain me a roll of the eyes. Youngjae was like that, whenever I told him he was perfect, it was hard for him to believe that he was perfect. That I saw him that way, I wasn't as vain as people assumed that I was.

If I had been vain I would have never approached the lonely kid sat alone in the school cafeteria, but to me he was beautiful. The cute adorable puppy who had grown well, he wasn't an unrealistically handsome. He was real but never felt in reach for me, "oppa!" Jimin says waving her hand in front of my face snatching me out of my trance of thought. "Earth to oppa? Were you even listening?” she ask with a pout, "should I cut my hair into a bob?" I lean over and ruffle her hair. “You’re cute as is Jimin" she blushes and smiles pleased. "Oh how embarrassing, you're so greasy oppa!" she teases laughing slightly.

"Oh? What’s so funny?” I turn to see the source of that question. Yerin free of her work apron was dressed in what looked like a pale pink bondage skirt with a blouse and some cute flats to match with it. She looked different from the usual cute teenage girl, she looked a bit more grown up. Her appearance wasn't the only different thing, hooked to her arm is not her happy go lucky oafish boyfriend Kitae, instead it's a stranger. He wasn't someone I had seen before and to Jimin it looked like the young boy was also a stranger. Jimin watched the pair with a raised eyebrow looking perplexed.

Yerin cheerfully greets us both and introduces her new companion to us. He was a short and slender kid who looked high school age, well dressed in beige slacks, loafers and a mint jumper. Objectively speaking this kid was an upgrade from her ex, within in a few years he would be someone I would like to turn or at least ruin for one good night. "Where's Kitae?" Jimin asks abruptly, there is obviously a little bit animosity between the two. "What’s up with you, you're with kind and doting boyfriend for two years and you drop him so shamelessly" Jimin complains openly. While Chanhyuk stood still looking a little uncomfortable and confused, "If you don't know a situation fully then you shouldn't speak so recklessly" Yerin bites.

"You know what. I would love to know the full situation, while some of us have to watch as the people we love with others. Those others shamelessly and coldly move on" Jimin says bitterly. I slowly understand the situation, Jimin relates to Yerin's ex boyfriend Kitae, they had both been dumped unceremoniously. "Isn't this conversation and bit...? Can we just get the coffee", Chanhyuk speaks up sounding understandably peeved. "Coming right up" I say with a wink to the confused younger, hmmmn maybe he wasn't a man lover like I hoped. Shame I think with a shrug whilst taking the peeved teens' orders, whilst Jimin sulks.

Later on I head to get something to eat, I head to my new favourite restaurant. It was dinner time the restaurant was quite busy, though fortunately I am able to get a table for myself. Jinyoung was in today working, it was strange how did he have enough energy to work as a trainee cop and serve tables like this, why did he even bother if he was rich. He's just leaving as I wait for my order of food, he seemed a little bit distracted and desperate to leave was he meeting Youngjae I wondered? I did my best. To ignore the jealousy bubbling with me and that's a little easier later on the night. I sigh looking at everyone sat in couples, families and friends, all having fun, enjoying the food and conversation.

At a table nearby I spot the handsome Nichkhun talking to a group of excited ahjummas, he speaks to them what sounds like Thai. They're all excited, I don't know whether it's cause they're speaking to a fellow Thai speaker or if it’s cause he was handsome. Tall, lean and toned, despite his somewhat fairytale handsome looks, he fit my type. He looked like the type that could manage me, he wouldn't take my shit.

Nichkhun takes up the empty seat from me and converses with me. "No Bae Suji with you today?" he asks, I. Nod my head to confirm and reveal that she was out of time. "Ahhh yes a night without your partner, at least today we won't have any toilet sex in my establishment, he teases me whilst nudging my knee with his foot. I smirk and I watch him, my eyes eat him up, he was so beautiful and delicious, "Am I that handsome?” teases with a grin spread across his face.

"It’s quite sickening you know” I joke, watching him I prepare myself to flirt my ass off and be rejected. "I'm sure you hear that a lot" he says case the look in his eyes, it’s a positive response. "How's your wife?" I asks suddenly, he rarely ever talks about it, sometimes it was like he was bachelor. "She's in America visiting her parents" he casually replies. "Yes, she's having fun with old friends and family and in and out burger and I'm here taking care of business" he says with a false pout, he didn't seem too cut up. "You're doing a good job it seems" I continue my attempt to flirt. "Not good enough. My offer of a threesome is down to a twosome" he says with a knowing smirk. Hid mood seemed different today, he was giving me positive signals, and would Suji mind me borrowing you?” he asks seeming to give me the red light "No, and she won't have to know" I retort which wins the reaction I wanted from him.

An hour later meal down and eaten, Nichkhun was done with his shift we meet up in the back in his office. Sat on his office sofa, he straddles me. I am trapped between his large thick thighs, not that I minded at all. He bends down neck his arms leant on each side his head on the sofa, his face directly in front of mine without saying a word. He hadn't said much since leading me inside here and pushing me onto the sofa, before quickly rushing to straddle me. He wasn't saying anything or moving other than to shove me back down when I tried to make the first move.

Minutes pass by, his beautiful large trust worthy search mine, my heart races from excitement at the thought of where this was heading. "You're versatile, right?” he suddenly asks surprising me, "I give and I take, yes" I answer casually. I was more interested in doing more with my mouth than talking. "You're selfish, you want whatever feels warm, cause you're cold" he coldly criticises, what the hell was this? "Why all the questions?" I wonder, "Why does it matter whether or not I like to fuck or get fucked?" I ask the elder. Nichkhun smiles almost in reply, "what if I said I wanted you to fuck me?” He asks. "Then let’s do it" I answer casually without hesitation. “You’re very non-committal aren't you?" he teases. "I bet you maintain a decent service at with and with school with decent grades" what was with this? "Yes", I answer. Graphic designers didn't need to be scholastic genius. "Hmm true, what about Bae Suji?" Before he can continue I lean up to kiss him, I press my lips on his in hopes to shut him up and I do as he presses his lips on mine

Once we were done, the sex was slow and sensual as we discovered each other's bodies. Nichkhun was a fair lover, he didn't just work to get his nut, and he was more experienced than any married man I had been with. He is the first to leave and heads back to work, I'm left alone to get dressed at my own pace. There is brief and eerie silence, Why was I lonely? That thought briefly passes through my head before I push it away and I head to work. When I get home Youngjae isn't in his room, I text him and find he is at Jinyoung's place. Disappointed and jealous I sigh and head into Youngjae's shower, letting the water wash over me and I hear nothing. Nothing and no one because I was Alone, it always ended up like this. I was destined to become my mother's son.

Once I clean my night's debauchery off of me I towel down and I head back into Youngjae's room. I pick a shirt of his and a pair of boxers, they were loose fitting but they smelled like him. Just like Youngjae, I lay down in his unmade bed and cover myself with a nearby comfortable quilt which swallows me up. This wasn't my first time doing something like this, but I got the feeling there wasn't many opportunities I would get to be comfortable like this. In his space.

A phone call from Suji the next morning is what wakes me up, she reveals that she was on her way back. Oddly I didn't feel a twinge of guilt despite what happened the night before, I sit up slowly. And listen to her talk. "I was so bored. I never realised how boring my well-meaning parents are" she says with a chuckle. "I'll see you soon oppa", she greets before she ends the call. I sounded completely normal, I talked through the conversation like a man who was not being deceitful. My heart race was level, I would see Suji today and we would be the same as usual, I was a bad guy.

As I slowly gather my bearings, I hear hushed conversation coming from the rest of the apartment. I wonder if Jinyoung had returned with Jinyoung, there was more than one voice. I sneak to the door and open the crack a little and watch Jackson, Jia and Youngjae. I was surprised to see them and eavesdrop, "Lee Minyoung is our key, if we catch that bitch then we can catch that crook" Jackson mutters bitterly. Who was Lee Minyoung? Was it a criminal I wondered? "Its dangerous hyung, you guys need to be careful" Youngjae warns the elder. Jackson thanks the younger for his concern, much like Jinwoo the elder watches him as if the precious gem that he was.

Jia spots me in the corner of her eye, she smiles and greets me. Busted I walk inside the living room kitchen area and greet everyone, Jackson and Jia admit that they their house was being fumigated, they would be staying over. They were in my room seeing as Youngjae's was taken. "You slept a lot, I thought you might be dead" Jia jokes. "Sorry, hyung probably stumbled in drunk" Youngjae explains in my steed. He wraps his arms around my waist. "Did you drink a lot? He asks eyes full of concern, my heart warmed. I smile and stroke through his hair happy to see the younger, I thought you were at fathernim's place" I change the subject. "I was but now I'm back! Yay!" he says very cutely.

 

Later on Youngjae takes me out for ice-cream, despite how early it was we visit an ice-cream bar and treat ourselves. While there we discuss how dangerous some places in town had gotten, I heard rumours of a crazy vampire murder going around, but such things didn't exist so I didn't take them serious. “It’s not that hyung", Youngjae tries to warn me that due to a new drug floating around people were becoming dangerous and uncontrolled. I ask how he knows all this, "I've seen it, trust me its scary" he looks genuinely uncomfortable like he was reliving something he found unpleasant. He drives up my concern level as he evades my question of it involving Jinyoung, after all we had never experienced anything scary when out together.

Youngjae does his best to assure me that he's fine and happy, "don't worry hyungnim, Jinyoung is treating me well". Jinyoung probably was but honestly I wish he didn’t, I wish I could sweep in Youngjae and save him and keep him to myself. Conversation turns from the clubs to gossip from university and its authorities, our conversation is cut short when two little friends pop through. Kunpimook and his little boyfriend pass through, the greet us and head over to order themselves something to eat. Youngjae quietly whispered to me about Kunpimook being another reason not to visit the club, he explains that Kunpimook and his ex had been involved in some dangerous things at the mansion. "That place is not legit" he says in a hushed tone, keeping his eye on Kunpimook and hid flirty beaux.

"His approached me about me and Jaebum hyung. It was weird but Kunpimook explained they were both connected from the mansion" I sit up suddenly confused. Why had Jaebum suddenly crept his way into our conversation, as far as I knew he had ended things with the older? “Jaebum didn't seem to think much of it, they were people whose ppaths crossed in the past. Issues came up but they talked it through" Youngjae casually explains, as if it were normal that he knew this much. I ask how he would know and Youngjae pauses almost as if he realised his mistake, he hadn't meant to tell me all that and it slightly irked me cause we never had any secrets between us, not anymore." Okay, don’t tell Jinyoung hyung" Youngjae whispers hesitantly. A secret? They had secrets? Apparently we had secrets too, but what was more intriguing was that Youngjae was hiding something from his lover, how interesting.

"Recently hyung and I started talking again" he reveals that Jaebum had apologised for leaving him to be attacked, and they would meet as friends. He confesses that Jinyoung was jealous and even though they were just fiends, "I don't want Jinyoung to feel uncomfortable”. I knew how jealous Jinyoung could get, he was never one to hide that fact, but he was still someone who understood the truth. “But you remember Jaebum hyung, he's funny and witty" he speaks fondly of a person who I couldn't Stans. “Youngjae are you on crack, you remember that meeting that guy almost got you killed?" I protest, but Youngjae tries to hush me up.

"Oh god you sound like Jinyoung, it was one off!” I. Roll my eyes, Jaebum was really a smooth speaker it seemed. "He apologised and we haven't met at the mansion since", he tries and fails to reassure me. Wait? "It happened at the mansion?" the realisation hitting me, so that's why he was so determined for me to avoid the mansion. "Oh yeah. I only told you the vague details", when did he start doing that, being vague with me? "Look its fine, I'm avoiding that place and I won't put myself in any unnecessary danger" he reaches for my hand and keeps his eye contact firmly, he did that when he was being honest, and I knew it well. "Fine. Just be safe my Choi Youngjae" I warn him and lean over to pet his head. "Yes hyung" he replies cutely.

Our ice-cream date ends unfortunately and Youngjae heads off to meet with Jinyoung, it would be easy to manipulate the situation and blab to him. If I did Youngjae would be initially be mad but we never fought long or ever, I would be back in his life he would count it as another time his hyung messed up. Plus I doubt Jinyoung would end things because of that, he loved Youngjae and at this point it would take something extreme on his part to end things. So my plotting felt a bit useless and it would cause too much unnecessary fuss. Having nothing to do for the day I head off home but just stood in front the door searching for my key, I receive a text from my lover of the night before. "I want you now" it reads. With one word I reply, "Where?" I head off out down the stairs waiting for a text back which I get by the time we reach the bottom of the stairs. "Same place" the text simply reads, so I head out to get laid.

This time between Nichkhun and I, the sex was wild hot raw and rough, I preferred it when it was merciless. Nichkhun provides that but he a little bit more forgiving outside of the sex, between round one and two we get to talking. He asks a lot of questions which I freely answer, I tell him of my move from America to Korea. I breeze past my parents’ divorce, and even reveal how my mother had never moved on, if she wasn't focused on my father she was obsessed with her kids. I wish I could convince her to be happy but she's focused on setting her children up, right now setting up her daughter is priority to her happiness.

Christina Tuan wasn't giving up on me, she was still trying to set me up, which is damned near impossible the bisexual slut. "I won't settle down" I had always promised myself this, I didn't have anyone I was willing to do it with that was willing to stay with me in return. "Settling down isn't all that its cracked up to be, Nichkhun says with a chuckle, I guess for it got in the way of screwing around. "Look at my parents", I casually comment joining Nichkhun with his chuckling. “You have someone you want and can't have" suddenly breaks our light-hearted moment. "So you have everyone and everything, but isn't enough is it?" he questions me, seeing right through me. "What is this judgement I sense from you married man?" I joke feeling slightly uncomfortable with the topic turn. Nichkhun chortles in response "you're right, but that doesn't make me any less wrong does it?" he counters. “No. I suppose it doesn't" I concede.

An hour later I return home to find Suji was already in the living room waiting for me, she looked cute dressed in one of my shirts. I kiss her as she greets me, we briefly exchange pleasantries before I excuse myself to bath. The least I ccould do was wash another man off and out of me before spending my night with my girlfriend. When I return to join Suji she looks quieter, she had my phone in hand and looked quite upset at what was in front of her. My heart doesn't drop, I don't become panicked and worried, and I just wait and listen. "You couldn't wait could you? You had to makes that threesome a twosome!" she spits at me upset." I didn't think you would mind" I retort, speaking honestly I didn't.

Suji had assured me she wasn't the jealous type but I have to argue against that when Suji in a jealous rage, loses control. She jumps up from the sofa and leaps up throwing me onto the floor, the landing on wood is far from comfortable and would definitely bruise. However I don't have much time to show concern for myself, Suji was on top of me trapping me down. I am unable to move and push her over, she holds me down and trembles with anger. “I’ve changed, I am not the girl you met I could kill you" she had never threatened me before, the Suji in front of me felt differ but still the same. "You would never kill me", I reply briefly and watch her briefly, and if she was going to hurt me she would have done it long ago. So I patiently wait for her to speak, but she doesn't instead she breaks down in my arms in floods of tears. What was this?

Finally unable to keep holding it in Suji opens up, she really opens up in a way she had never before. She is no longer the strong fierce girl, or the open and somewhat vulnerable girl I had gotten to know. She was a broken person who had been put through the ringer, she tells the traumatic story of her turning, a concept I thought belonged in Buffy The Vampire Slayer. However it was fiction, it was real and for the most par she had to go through it all alone, and I couldn't really imagine how she had been able to do it as long as she had before someone intervened and helped. It was apparent that what happened to her, the turning and the rape that proceeded it had worn her out mentally and emotionally, it still haunted her and I had been so unaware.

Whilst Suji was sleeping, I was in the kitchen preparing something to eat and letting it all sink in, I didn't need this. Of course I cared about Suji and sympathised for her, but she really needed someone who could put a lot of time and care into helping her along this tough path. She needed someone who could fully support her and that wasn't me, I wasn't confident in my ability to be there for her, to support and protect her. I had to someone whose side I needed to be by, someone who I had always been protective of and I couldn't deviate from them now.

"Do you know that I'm hungrier nowadays" Suji confesses over our dinner, she reveals that eating stifled her thirst down. I watch her, the thought of her trauma flashing before my eyes. How could I put her back together when she was broken like this? This was way out of my comfort zone, I was meant to be a girl's biggest heartbreak, not the person to comfort that. "Now that you know I can eat more in front of you", Suji says scooping more rice from the cooker, she looked a little bit relieved, I don't know if it was because of the food or because she could be open with me. The keys for the front door turn and Suji turns her attention to see who comes in, to her surprise it wasn't Youngjae but Jia who had arrived. Using the spare key we'd leant her during her stay here she smiles and greets us both, "unnie?" she asks what the elder was doing here. Jia turns to me to signal for an answer, I turn to a perplexed looking Suji and answer.

"Jia can help you" I reveal that I had called the elder to pick her up whilst I slept. “Sorry I can't deal with this" Suji's eyes gloss over as she understands what I meant. She didn't look disappointed or hurt, it was as if she had mentally prepared herself in the likely case that I would not be able to support her. I didn't want to hurt her but I felt like I wasn't capable of helping her, why hadn't she chosen someone more mature? I let her leave with Jia, and as she does I finally feel something that has been evading me. Guilt, I actually guilty.

Feeling vulnerable I do something I rarely did ever, I call mother. She is excited about the call as she was usually the one who instigated calls, it was never the other way round because talking to my mother usually left me feeling stressed. However needing to hear her voice no matter how dizzying the conversation maybe I take the risk, we catch up and my mother is ecstatic to reveal that my sister was engaged. "When will you settle down" she starts her usual line of questioning and I reply as I always had, I had no intention of doing so. "Sow your oats and find the right one" my sweet mother advices. "Even if it’s a man I don't care", that wasn't true, she definitely wanted grandchildren but at least she was less vocal about it all."Don't spend your life pining over Choi Youngjae" she warns. "Don't be thoughtless like your father and push away those who have been loyal to you", I guess I must be my father's son. For the rest of the call I try to resist the urge to hang up, I had called after all and that would be rude, but I was tempted.

The next morning I am dealt a blow by the innocent and unaware Youngjae, he was so blissfully happy with Youngjae and it was irritating me. However I could deal with the irritation if he was going to be around, however the younger shatters that when he oh so casually reveals his plans to move out soon. "Our lease is ending and I spend most of my time at Jinyoung's place anyway" he casually comments. "What makes you think it will last?" I snap jealous and frustrated, why was he leaving like this? Why was I like this, why was I snapping when this was all inevitable? "What’s up with you hyung?" Youngjae asks concerned, as soon as his slender fingers touch my shoulders, bbreakdown in tears. I had reached my limit and couldn't keep inside anymore.

Youngjae comforts me, upset I cry and let it all out. No matter how ridiculous it sounded I tell him and surprisingly he doesn't seem like he didn't believe me. He hums understanding me and he doesn't judge me for what I had done to Suji. It all becomes to suddenly make sense when Youngjae reveals the truth, he already knew all this. He reveals about Jinyoung and his identity as a drainer, he reveals what he knows about drainer community. He also reveals that he knew about JB and what he had down to Suji. "He's truly evil" he complains about elusive he had been and how hard Jinyoung, Jackson and Jia had been working to find him. Youngjae also reveals the close call Jinyoung had in Tokyo and lastly their intentions to find and catch JB's right hand woman.

"Let’s take her down" I say, surprising Youngjae. He had said that JB was onto everyone in the search apart from a few people, so I suggest that I go and be used as bait. Youngjae tries to protest but I'm determined, if we got his right hand woman then we could get much closer to JB. It was a long shot, but it was all we could do for someone who was so elusive. “Let’s do it Youngjae, I need to do something for her", I plead with him desperate to do something, anything. Youngjae is briefly quiet before he agrees, "but we can't do this alone, we need help" he says before taking out his phone and making a call.

Once everything is set up I head put for a night out at the busy mansion, it had been a while but the club was packed and the music was thumping. The people were dancing, drinking and shamelessly showing their sexual moments and generally having what looked like a hood time. Joongki comes with me, he came as companion and my bodyguard, as he had not been seen by Minyoung would not be given away. On the outside to anyone would see us as a couple out for the night, but we were supposed to keep it casual. "Are you sure about this" Joongki wraps his arms around my waist as part of our act. "I'm certain" I reassure him looking deep in her eyes. We drink, dance and walk around the club, there was no pressure. "Just move at your own pace" Joongki advices me. He peeks over coolly and reveals that she was in the next room. Are you ready?"

Joongki reaches for my hand and leads me into the next room onto the dance floor, he dances wildly his arms around my neck. From the outside this looks natural or at least I hoped it was just for looks, my hand at his hip I dance and spin him around in hopes of seeing her. Joongki whispers, "short hair in a bob by the bar". I spot her there, she was wearing a small black bob, with a hugely made up face and a small bandage mini dress. She dances with a drink in hand looking around the club, maybe for a victim or someone to fuck. We dance on the floor for a few more minutes until I kiss Joongki’s cheek and pull away heading to the bar.

It doesn't take long for Minyoung and I to be quickly acquainted and quickly flirting and even speeding to kissing. She's a good kisser and it didn't take long for us to move things further on, if there was anything I was good at, it was seducing a woman. Half an hour later we head out of the mansion, I decline her offer to go upstairs and I manage to convince her to come home with me. "My friend will take us home", I assure her pointing to Joongki who reluctantly joins us. "Fine you're so hot that I will go to your little student apartment", she breathes hotly in my ear. "But you better fuck me hard" she says kissing me all the way to the car and on the drive home.

When we arrive at my apartment, I lift and carry my young lover straight to the bedroom. Minyoung excitedly giggles nipping slightly, biting just a little, at my neck I try not to get distracted by the pleasure. I needed to complete the plan and I was so close, so when I drop on the bed I breathe a sigh of relief. “Am I that heavy" she jokes, “yeah" I tease her in hopes of keeping her distracted? I climb on top of her, one leg each side of her body. I lean down and kiss her down her neck and she moans in response, when I pull away from her. "Hey what are you doing? Are you chickening out?" Minyoung says looking a bit concerned.

Giving her my most charming smile I try to keep my cool, "calm your tits down", I tease whilst opening the bed side table. My ears perk up at the sound of moaning, I look in the corner of my eyes to see Minyoung who was touching herself, her hand fondling her breasts. Trying to keep my cool, I smirk and take out a few and handcuffs which cause Minyoung's eyes to light up. "Ooh you like kink?" I. Nod my head, "it’s something I want to try" I ask if it would be okay to which she agrees without hesitation. I set it up the scene and taking her hands and legs to tie Minyoung to the bed post. I kiss her down her neck and chest trying to keep her distracted, she had to think I was seducing her for real.

Wow I won the jackpot, there aren't many freaks I meet often!" she jokes. “Are you a sexual deviant?" she asks the question frustrates me, I stand up and back away, and stand up just to watch her. Minyoung becomes suspicious with the time that passes. "Hey, what the hell is going on?" she tries to shake free herself from the bed post, her super strength shakes the bed. I take out my phone and call Jinyoung to come and quickly end the call, I ignore her louder and loud protests. "Do you know her?” I show Minyoung a picture of Suji she freezes briefly. "What the fuck is this? Who the fuck are you?!” she spits at me frustratingly. "A jerk, but a jerk who loves her", I genuinely reply "today this jerk is going to help take down the fucker who did this to her” I say leaning in closer to her.

Minyoung angrily tries to leap up at me, from the restraints but without hesitation, I reach for her shoulder and prick her shoulder suddenly I see stop and freeze up. Jinyoung rushes in and I pull away, I check my arm for the bite mark, it hadn't broke the skin so I would be fine. "Thank you Yien" Jinyoung pats my shoulder gratefully before he crouches down next to Minyoung. "She must have been turned recently, she's quite strong" he apologises for the risk level and thanks me again. Jackson enters the room he looks smug he pats me on the back, "Wow Casanova, if I knew you'd be this successful I would earlier he teases and pats me on the butt. Jinyoung watches Minyoung his expression looks serious. "You've caused enough trouble Minyoung, time to repent or pay", if Jinyoung looked serious then the look on Jackson's face was pretty lethal in comparison.

Youngjae hugs me "you're a better guy than you let on" he says patting me on the back. I can't help but believing his words, after all they were his. “You always embrace and love people despite their stories, if they are worth it you make time" was this true? "You made time for me" he says looking grateful that I had latched onto him and called it friendship. “Who said you were worth it" I tease the younger, feeling, uncomfortable with the compliments. "Isn't it obvious" he jest before leaning in to kiss my on my cheek, my flutters as it always did, I wondered if the feeling would ever change?

"Thank you" Jia, says as she leaved the room, she thanks me for my participation, she assures me they would put Minyoung to good use. She informs us that for now Minyoung will be at the safe house, Jia would be there to extract information from the drainer. "So you should stay with someone, being here isn't safe right now" Youngjae offers for me to come along to his love nest with Jinyoung but I decline. Jia decides that I should stay at her place and gives me no other options." Be safe hyung" You says before leaving, "I pull him my arms close and I hug him", I hug hum tightly because I was scared. This new world had opened up to both of us and it scared me, I was scared for Youngjae and I needed Youngjae to be safe.

Joongki the drainer I had thought was an ordinary kid casually escorts me to Jackson and Jia's apartment. He is very laid back and doesn't force conversation between the two of us, he is patient and answers all the questions I had to ask. When we arrive I startled I jump spotting Suji who was sat on the sofa watching television, I had somehow forgotten that she lived here but I was relieved to see her. She looks surprised to see me, I guess Jia hadn't warned her about me staying over.

Without any thoughts I rush over to her and hug her, I pull her close into my arms and fortunately she doesn't push me away. "I am so sorry", I apologise and she hugs me close not speakin, no reaction for once brings me relief. It’s not good, but that doesn't necessarily mean that it’s bad either, I knew I had room to get her back.


	19. Finally

Jaebum’s POV

The plane had just settled down and finally we were out of the dreaded turbulence. It had passed over and we were heading back to Seoul in a few more hours. The flight was from America, and wasn't my favourite flight admittedly. We were in first class, the seats were comfortable and the food and wine circulated. Kwon is on the next seat to me asleep, having run around New York checking on our newly started operations there. Kwon had worked hard, he had single handedly fought criminals who wanted to step on our turf, had kept them at bay. Admittedly he was indispensable, he was committed to growing this empire and protecting its vulnerability.Kwon made it so that I didn't work and he managed to set up strong allies who would manage the business and protect it while we were at home base.

I felt assured. I could work well and was able to check on pumps that I had set up with Minyoung only a year prior. We were doing well, I was confident and relieved and could return to Seoul focused and in my element. "Anything to drink sir?" a slender, blonde and attractive hostess who had introduced herself as Kim Sun Hye "anything to drink or eat? She asks with a bright smile and sparkling eyes. It had come around me for the third time within the hour, it was obvious she was using any excuse to come round my way.

"No thank you" I deliver sweetly with my best charming smile, blushes in response, "but, is there somewhere spacious and private. For us?" I ask with a suggestive raise of my brow. "f-for us?" she cutely stutters, "sorry sir. The toilet is the only place for true privacy" she adds. "Ladies first" I say reaching stealthily to stroke her firm bottom causing her to nervously giggle. "I'll meet you there" I say with a reassuring smile, she nods in response pushing her trolley forwards into the cubby area. Not long after she walks into the toilet ahead, she gives me an approving look paired with an exciting smile before entering the toilet.

Needless to say the somewhat boring flight from one continent to the other has its perks and Sun Hye and her perks keep distracted. When we touch down I feel myself refreshed and ready to conquer my city. "Aish, you're lucky you're close to immortal and that STDs won't take you out" Kwon remark referencing my visit to the mile high club. "Why? Are you jealous hyung?” I tease the elder as we enter taxi. "Sociopath isn't my type" he counters before laying back in the backseat and instructing the driver on where to go.

Amused I brush off his little slight and lay back in my seat, the driver starts off to our destination. A few minutes into the ride which is pretty quiet apart from humming of the driver to the radio, Kwon is silently catching some more sleep. Unable to resist the urge I take out my phone video call the person I have missed the most, after a few rings I'm ready to give up when he finally answers.

"Wow! Hyung, are you back?" I receive a warm greeting from the younger. I bite my lip to hold back the grin and try and stop the flutters. "Yes... I've been back a few days now", I lie whilst catching the bemused look of the driver through the rearview mirror. Whatever I needed to cling to some pride, I didn't exactly like having to make the first move like this, but it had been over the week since I had seen Youngjae's face, I had to make the first move if I wanted to see him. "How are you doing kid", I ask as casually as possible.

"I'm bored" he says with a cute pout, “I’m on break for a couple of months so I didn't wake up till midday" he says with a giggle. "Come out with hyung" I invite the younger. "I'll buy us something delicious to eat", it was the perfect time for lunch and I was hopeful that due to his limited resources the younger wouldn't pass up the offer. "Okay hyungnim, where should I meet you?" He answers brightly. I bite the inside of my mouth to hide my glee, I hold it together long enough to tell him I would pick him up. "Get cute for hyung and I'll see soon", I flirt before impatiently hanging up the phone. "Get cute for hyung", the driver teases causing Kwon to laugh amused. "Does it hurt to be this whipped?” Kwon teases eyes still closed. I ignore the pair and instruct the driver to drop me off nearby, it would be quicker on my feet.

Half an hour later Youngjae and I were at restaurant in a mall nearby, he looked adorable as always Youngjae the bright beacon. He was dressed as brightly in a pair of tight fitting red shorts and a stripped blue and white shirt. He wears a blue snapback, he looks amazing and I can barely rip my eyes away from him. Youngjae smirks watching me with his eyebrow raised, "do I have something on my face?" he questions bemused. "Just cuteness" I tease causing Youngjae to throw his head back and laugh. He coils his fingers in a cringing statement, "hyung, why are you suddenly being so weird?" the younger teases.

I reach over the table and fluff the Younger’s hair playfully, "stop teasing the buyer of your free meal" I pinch his nose and sit back down. "Oh by the way, thanks hyung, recently you’ve been good to me", he says with a smirk. "We don't get to see each other as often so we need to have good memories right?" I offer an excuse, when in reality the reason was I needed his fond memories for later. Once I got rid of Park Jinyoung, I would need to be someone he felt comfortable around, I was still trying to plan a way to rid his lover in a way that was believable. Would Youngjae believe a Dear John letter, or would that startle him?

"So, how are things between you and your new beaux?" I ask before taking a sip of the beer that I had ordered. I try to put the question forward as casually as I could, "oh... Erm, he's busy recently. But we're fine"Youngjae awkwardly answers before taking a sip of his own drink. I watch him and wonder, does he sound awkward like this because maybe he was lying and they weren't doing fine? Or because it’s me he's talking to this about? I had after all told the younger we were friends, friends can comfortably talk about relationships and we had gotten comfortable recently.

"Ahhh busy, you said he was waiter by day and cop by night right?” had he said that or had I given away more than I should? I mentally lament myself for my slip up, Youngjae pauses briefly looking a little perplexed before speaking up. "Yeah. Well recently he's been more focused on the cop side of things. He's trained hard and now he's a beat cop, he's working the streets. But he'll work his way up to detective", this was a new development. He had never showed any interest in being a cop back in Jinhae, had things changed over time, had Jinyoung been influenced by Jackson Wang? "Some stuff went down recently..." he says very vaguely, I wonder if he means the ambush in Tokyo, did Youngjae even know about that?

"Anyway hyung can do it. He's the kind of the person whose determined and work hard to protect people", I resist the urge to roll my eyes way in the back of my head. From man of the lord, he had become a man of the people protecting Seoul from the big bad men. I wonder how shocked he would be to find out that bad man was indeed his ex and first love.

Youngjae would know in due time, the thought was something I really quite relished so much so that I don't notice the waiter approach and serve the table. "Whoa. This smells amazing!” Youngjae's bright response pulls me from my vengeful trance. I look down to the table as it fills up with meals served by a young looking waiter, it looked delicious but I was hungry, not for food anyway. I quietly pick up my chopsticks while watching an excited Choi Youngjae, mouthwatering at the delicious meal in front of him.

I grin reaching over to fluff his hair affectionately once again, the more I did it the harder it was to resist. The simple bit of affection was a drug to me, the gateway drug and I wanted my fix of his lips, the lips he licks before digging his spoon into a bowl of rice. "Thank you hyung, I'll eat this well!", he announces cutely, I chuckle slightly and drink more of the younger in before digging in to the food in front of me.

The realisation of just how hungry I was hits me as I dig in to the food before me, I was hungry but nothing seemed to fill me up. However for the youngers benefit I slap a smile on my face, shoving large spoonfuls into my mouth. I wasn't satisfied and I knew that I wouldn't ever feel satisfied, not by food, or drink, sex or money. I knew that I would not be fully satisfied till I got back what belonged to me.

A couple of hours is all I am able to get from Youngjae, once our meal is done we take a walk through the shops nearby window shopping. I slink my arm around his shoulders casually, I do my best to resist going further and past that. “Hyung how have you being doing recently, you seem a bit tired recently" he says seemingly concerned, his arm rubs at the back of my back comforting me. "It always seems like hyung is tired. Not just physically...” He always did this. He could sit with me for a while and not even mention anything and then he would choose the most inopportune time to bring up his concerns.

"Have you been having issues again?" he watches me concerned, had I been having issues with my thirst? No. I had plenty to drink, now I don't know if the younger would particularly approve of the way I drunk. Did he approve of Park Jinyoung, did he even know? The former priest was an expert at keeping big secrets, after all he had kept all traces of relationship away from his friends or family. Not once had either had his home life collided with me, he had kept it that way for so many years. He had the gift of the gab, a warm and charming personality and warm inviting eyes. It had been hard to argue with or even to distrust, however time has lead me to change that belief.

"Ah... It’s nice to know that you care Youngjae", I tease. Youngjae reaches for my wrist to stop me in my tracks, "of course I care hyung". Shit, my heart betrays me by thumping hard in my chest, Youngjae watches me the look in his eyes full of sincerity. Why was he the only one who was sincere? He meant what he said and always said what he meant. Reaching for his narrow shoulders, I pull him towards me into an embrace, there is a brief pause from the younger till I feel his arms snake their way around my midriff.

"You don't have to buy me meals or clothes to get me to come. If you really need me I'll come", Youngjae seriously speaks, no shaking or stuttering in his voice or statement. He meant it, and that was it, the game was over for Park Jinyoung. As soon as I could I would make sure I really killed him. Choi Youngjae was mine and I doubted very much he would hand him over willingly. So I would take away his ability to choose, I would win back my Youngjae.

Eventually I pry myself from the younger's warm embrace, "it was good seeing you kid, hyung is going now" I say as nonchalant and coolly as I can and head off. "Hyung" the younger calls out for a few yards back where I head left him, I slowly turn to watch him curious for his response. "Take care of yourself!” he says with a bright smile, he was so adorable. "Also hyung, if you're going to hug me, at least wash the sex off you first!" he teases, I feel my cheeks burn up from embarrassment. He knew, he had probably known for a while, but he didn't seem to bothered about it, that really fucking bothered me.

Doing my best to recover and shield any signs of embarrassment from my face I simply play it off with a shrug and a sly grin, "hyung doesn't plan these things" winning me laughter from the younger. "See you later" I say with a casual wave before rushing away without waiting for a reply, as much as I would love to spend the whole day with the younger, I had received a concerning text in the middle of our meal, so I rush over to meet with Lee Junho. Something had happened and I was pissed.

"What do you mean Minyoung has disappeared?” I demand an answer from Junho. We were at a coffee shop near the mansion's land, our catch up had left me feeling completely baffled. "Disappeared, vanished as in she hasn't been seen in a few weeks", Junho delivers these words deadpan, his expression showing no concern. To him he had just simply relayed a fact, my right hand woman and most trusted person had disappeared and it had only taken three weeks and Kwon panicking at the news to inform me. "What the hell happened?!" I snap losing my temper, something would have had to happen for Minyoung to leave my side but Junho doesn't seem too concerned. I knew he didn't care much for Minyoung but this was ridiculous.

Junho shrugs unfazed, "She was playing around with some little boys the other day in the mansion", he recalls events still so devoid of emotion. "Instead of doing her job and looking after those blood bags, she left with one of them", a little disapproval slips through his tone. He was a soldier and professional, so he didn't look too kindly to the carefree Min. "I tried calling her but I didn't get a reply, so I bought Yuk Joohyun to look after your little gang of body bags".

No concern is shown on the elder's part, to him Minyoung was easily replaced and he had proven that by finding a replacement. He explains that he hadn't called me with the news because he didn't want to distract me from business, "if she ran away fine. If she didn't then that’s all on her, she can't afford to be so careless during a time like this". I hold back on my urge to punch the elder, as cold and callous as he seemed, he was the business man and he was right.

With wonder cop Jackson his army of cops and Le Protezioni on our asses, we couldn't afford to be careless. Right now I didn't know if Minyoung had left or if she had been arrested or even worse yet, she had fallen into the hands of the ruthless Le Protezioni. My inside man in the police force had not revealed anything about any of my people being involved, so I was left with two other options. I would much rather that Minyoung have ran away with some pretty little flower boy, but the likelihood of that wasn't great.

"You have another problem anyway. I heard from a source that the infamous JB had someone else on his trail", the journalist wanted revenge after my sneaking into her place. She has even written a startup piece talking about her experience. Shit, she was brazen. "Why hadn't you told me" I ask him feeling really irked. "Because you were busy with business and out of country and I had thought it would die down", but he reveals that now they've began this campaign recently. "Its nothing at the moment, you've probably frightened and killed too many for many to come forward". However he thinks this needs to be cut off at the source.

As I make my way out the coffee shop Yugyeom of approaches me, he seemed to see me. He greets me and soon starts a one sided catch up, he expresses excitement at having seen Kunpimook again a few times. "He seemed to have calmed down, we even talk nowadays but that boyfriend of his is suspicious" I raise my eyebrow intrigued."He seems like maybe he could be a drainer, his strength matches mine" the younger was fairly strong so I would be inclined to agree. However there were plenty of drainers in this town, that wasn't suspicious but I'm sure it was to the jealous Yugyeom. “I can't attack him or else Kunpimook would easily suspect me" he says with semi pout, I reach over and pinch his cheek fondly.

It seemed that recently the younger had dropped any ill feelings he had towards me, and was willing to side with me for my loyalty and help. "Once we're done taking out Park Jinyoung then we can work on this loser", he suggests nonchalant. “You're always the best at killing making it seem accidental" he compliments me. I tell the younger to leave me alone and stay under the radar."Speaking of under the radar have you seen Minyoung noona?” I frowns displeased. "I'm busy kid, go home and study or something" I shove him aside and go to hail a cab. Yugyeom chuckles kissing my cheek before running away giddily.

At a park near the police station, I wear a pair of sunglasses that I pinched from a shop nearby with hoodie. I do my best to keep myself well hidden, drinking a coffee to keep myself under the radar. Meeting with informant, a cop and a pervert who enjoyed being a pump and used my prostitutes free of charge. I request for him to put in a thorough search on Minyoung, I want him to find out if she is somehow involved with the cops. I also ask for the details on the journalist and ask if it had called attention to the real culprit that being me.

The mole assures me that the woman had seen nothing and none of the few people that had come had seen anything either."You did well to hide your identity", he explains that now she has a 24 hour bodyguard, she was a target so she had someone by her side. "Be careful a gruesome death might rile up the public, but it would also scare them wouldn't it" he coldly muses. I hand over a fast food brown paper bag which had no food but money. We didn't know who was watching so we hug and make it seem like a friendly exchange. "Work well hyung I pat his shoulder continuing his act", I let him leave first and take a brief back break.

Later on I track Jinyoung and sure enough where the mole had said he would be. He was dressed in the police uniform with an older looking guy, sitting in the car they watch over the streets and discuss JB despite the campaign no one was speaking."It’s really scary" the older man complains, "they will find him eventually he can run but not hide" Jinyoung states oh so confidently. "Wow how impressive the elder comments, you won't feel that way for long" the older cop states matter of a factly. "Sometimes it doesn't work in our favour" however Jinyoung seems determined. A phone call interrupts their conversation and Jinyoung answers the phone call. "Ahhh petal you've called", he greets the caller fondly, "yeah I decided to do two more hours, stay with Jackson and Jia" he instructs. "I'll pick you up...” Youngjae knew wonder kid Jackson and his woman the nark Jia? This made things a little but more sticky for me, but I wouldn't be discouraged.

"Hyung misses you too" hhe says with a chuckle before hanging up. "Wow, can one man call another something as soft as petal, even if you're dating" the older teases. "Yes, I call him that, Isn’t the petal the best part of a flower?" The elder cop laughs in response. "Wow, this is strange to me, back in my day guys like you wouldn't be so open. Not that I mind if you do" the older expresses. "Well it took me a long time to be comfortable with myself, but... With Youngjae, he is so honest" I feel a twinge of jealousy, maybe it was an old habit.

"It’s hard to lie to him and about myself with him" Jinyoung speaks fondly of my Youngjae. How very sweet, Jinyoung sounded so happy and content and in love earning some jeering and teasing from the older cop. The two have a back and forth banter until the dispatch calls them out to a domestic incident nearby which they rush off to. Hearing enough I decide there's no problem in following the pair, I had other things I would much rather do.

I head off back to neighbourhood where Jang Hyemi lived, she was walking home with a man. "She'll come round don't worry oppa I'll be fine" she tries to reassure the short and average man. "I'll walk you to your door" he offers and escorts her up to her home. Silent I wait for the boyfriend to head back out of her place and down the drive before quietly sneak in. I try to hide myself and watch her, although she seems rightly shifty, she tries to focus and she cooks and hums to music. Tempted to leap out and end her here I am interrupted by a knock at the front door is knocked. Hyemi allows some in and in enters a familiar person.

It was Han Minha it had been years, she was a drainer who had turned Yugyeom and saved his life. However she wasn't trustworthy I believed her to be a cop and it seemed that I was right. She was here as a bodyguard probably on the payroll. I quietly watch on as the pair interact, and Hyemi her eyes sparkle as she watches Minha she listens as Minha explains a younger boy she had met and tried to convince to behave. "He has so much anger and hatred towards people, he blames everyone else for the loneliness he feels" the older theorizes.

"I don't want him to spiral out control and hate himself. Whose she's talking about I wonder, could it be Yugyeom, that description suited him so well. "You can only do so much unnie, he's not your child" Hyemi tries to reassure Minha. “I know but I'm worried" Minha sighs sadly. "That’s what is so good about you unnie, you care so much", she puts her hands on the elders hips and suddenly the looks and smiles make much more sense. Ahhh so Miss Priss wasn't so priss unless it came to the elder, they kiss and the kiss leads to touching and the touching leads to groping and the groping becomes a heated sex scene. Hidden away and not particularly in a rush I watch the sexual scene between the two.

I patiently wait for them for the sexed up couple head to bed and sleep, after their brief game of slip and tickle. I make sure that they are both asleep for a while even listening to their boring hushed conversations and as Minha wrongly convinces the younger she was safe enough to sleep. A couple of hours pass in silent and much like last time I sneak into Hyemi's room. I carefully and quietly approach Minha and getting the upper hand on her, I climb onto top of her immediately waking her up on of her sleep. Her eyes pop open at the sight of my face, I move quickly and prick her shoulder with a paralysis needle. Within seconds she freezes up underneath me, her eyes still wide open.

"You never let me have my way with you, it’s a shame I would have taken care of you" I taunt the younger. "I'll take care of you once and for all, I lean down and peck Minha on the cheek and without another word I snap her head of her shoulders. How easy that had been, thanks to the paralysis sticks the mole had passed on to me, the hard part was done without much effort. Next to her deceased and bleeding beau, Hyemi stirs she groans calling for her dead lover and turns to see me on top of her headless lover. I switch on the lamp and watch the true horror in her eyes as she takes in all the blood. As she tries to pull her away I pin her down, "what the hell do you want from me?” she asks trembling. I ask if she recognises me, if she recognises my voice, "yes" she asks with gritted teeth, she looked ready to fight.

Hyemi tries to struggle out of my grip, but I hope her down and lean down to kiss her down her neck. She tries to squirm out of my grip and faces away from me. "Do I disgust you?” I taunt her, "the vice grip of the man of your nightmares” I recite the excerpt of her shameful piece on me. "You're him aren't you, JB?" although frightened she asks the question, her mind was still curious and not worried about herself. I slide my hand down between her legs, "I could spare your life if you're good to me" I taunt her travelling further to my core. She winces as my finger enters her, she tries to squirm but I force myself inside of her.

“I’ll never give myself to you, I will never let you have me!" she spits at me indignantly. Those words, they were so familiar, they were words that haunted me for a long time. They echo in my ears, and look of defiance in her eyes, it was similar to Jinyoung's, I snap. Losing my cool I harshly and cruelly dominate her, I keep her long enough to put her through the torture she deserved. How dare she speak to me like that, to make me remember that person at a time like this? I would make her pay before ending her and I do so.

In her apartment bathroom sink, I wipe the blood off of my hands, it takes a while after all I had been pretty messy. I wash the blood off and when I am done, I head off out of the apartment and decide to search for any information, I look around the apartment to see what her research she had on me. Through my search I see that she had information on Le Protezioni, she did not know who part of elusive organisation was but she had linked Minha to it and it made sense. She wasn't a cop it seems, "Oh well" I think with a shrug, it was just another bothersome person that I had gotten rid of. I check to see if I had left any signs that could point directly to me but I had done a good enough clean up job. So I head out, I was thirsty and tired and tomorrow would be a busy day.

Despite the fight between the owner and me, I go to get a drink at the Shoe Horn. There with me is Sunmi, with her husband out of town she was only too happy to openly flirt and shower me with kisses me. The bar was busy so she wasn't able to spend as much time as she wanted with me, I drink and try to quench my thirst but it didn't feel like anything would work. Yugyeom joins me soon, he claims he had followed me. He was feeling particularly nosy asking what I was doing in the suburbs, he asks what I had done once sneaking inside the house

"Gotten rid of an annoyance" I simply answer,” but gained another" I mutter much too the younger's amusement. "What annoyance, didn't Minyoung noona leave?" he jokes. "A nosey journalist and if you continue to be nosy I might take the total up to three" I threatening Yugyeom becoming impatient with him. "Wow hyung you're grumpy today get this down you”. Yugyeom directs the blood bag to my lips. "You're cranky when you're thirsty" he says with a pout. “So are you except I have more self-control I don't throw fists" I defend myself.

"Plus I don't scare the one who I want" I pettily prod the younger at his weakness. "If you act up you could scare him off again" I half warn half taunt. Yugyeom snorts in response I know I know. Don't worry I’ll be a good boy”, he says leaning over to kiss me softly on the cheek. He sits back down and watches me, "you said three. That your total would be up to three. Shit I had slipped up.

"Who was the second?" the younger questions, he wouldn't like the answer so I briefly hesitate."Han Minha", I confess. There is a brief silent pause, he looks shocked and slams the table catching the attention of the bar, I tell him to sit down. He ignores it, he seems to be struggling conflicted by uncontrolled rage and grief, and it looked like grief. He finally sits back down and looks he's fighting back tears. I had no idea he had any attachment to her why?

"Why the hell did you do that?" he asks through clenched teeth. I explain that something had come up and she was collateral, I was protecting myself cause if I end up in jail or dead, who will help him get Kunpimook back. Silence. Yugyeom is silent, "she stood in our way and she had to be taken down and now she's gone" I coolly explain. "I need to go", the younger excuses himself, "you have to call when its time to take him down" he insists before heading off, surely to cry over his useless maker. I softly chuckle and return to my drink watching as the younger shoulders slumped hurriedly walks out. How hard it must be for him, hating my actions yet isn't he going to do the same soon? What a little fledging hypocrite.

I head to the newest pump that had been set up, Junho with the help of new recruit Joohyun moved locations. Joohyun had been a drifter who had been associated with our organisation, he was a cold and calculating person, but he wasn't as highly strung as Junho. He worked well and Junho seemed to have taken quite a liking to him. He was apparently nosy too, as he asks me many questions including where Min could be.

“She may be a total wreck especially now that she has been turned" he theorizes when I do not reply. "But she always seemed to have some self-control, isn't this a little strange?" he comfortably airs out his thoughts. He was right, it was strange and bothersome and one way or another I would get a finite answer on where she went, but for now I had something more important that I needed to do.

Once Joohyun leaves me alone I take the opportunity to text Youngjae, he was probably with his boyfriend right now so if he did receive my message it could make things uncomfortable, not that I mind that. The message is brief, I try my best to make it as strange as possible, and this needs to be the warning sign for the normally intuitive younger.

The next morning I am all across the news, and by I meant the elusive JB.? He was on the news for having committed a double murder, killing one of Seoul's most beloved detectives as well as a friend of hers. It was all over the news channels and was a hot story, the journalist had spoke and ended up losing her life because of such bold actions. Police leave a statement which promises their determination to apprehend me. It doesn't concern me but it seems to worry Fei who rushes over.

"Maybe you need to leave here for a while, in fact now you definitely need to leave" the younger instructs. "Pack up your bags and leave Korea, let’s say for six months whilst this blows over", Fei states that Junho will help you in the interim. "This was a risk to all of us if you stay" she warns, I knew she was right so I didn't argue. “I’ll get a jet" she rushes around helping me pack before calling her contacts. "Okay, fine. But give me a few hours", I have something that belongs me that I needed. "Fine" she concedes she kisses me,” might not get this for a while" she says before taking my bags and leaving me alone to sort out some things.

On his instructions I wash the sex off of me, and dry myself off. I pack up some last important things including a few fake IDs that I had procured recently. I give Joohyun a few last things to do, and instruct him to work hard which he reassures me he will do. "Junho is less patient than I am, he's sharper and smarter. You can’t and won't trick him, so don't try" I sternly warn. Joohyun chuckles "don't worry kid, this operation pay so well. I'll reel the dumb fish in and mind fuck them into staying and in return you'll pay me well", he replies. His blunt nature, I wasn't sure if I trusted him yet, but if he went out of line Junho knew people who could end him.

Feeling assured I head out, I had one more meeting before getting who I needed, I meet with the mole he assures me even though JB was suspected but my boss was not. He says he has heard some whispers between Wonder kid and his woman. Jackson seemed frustrated, they had chased Minyoung who had been seen boarding a plane to Paris. "It seems she had met a guy and spent a few days with him and was running away" he explains casually” I wonder what kind of guy. Weren't you her true one?" he jokes which I ignore.

This explanation was true. I knew because Minyoung always used to playfully threaten that if she met someone and fell for them, she would rush to Paris without a word. She worried I would feel regret try and follow her and ruin things for her so she had to leave quietly, so for me at the end of the day Minyoung wanted her happy ending. So I would give it to her, seeing as I was getting mine.

Once I inform the officer that for now he would be working under Junho and would have to report to him, he becomes suspicious. "You going somewhere?" he asks. "Yes. For now, till the heat dies down", I reassure him his next payment will come with his next batch of information. "Don't blow it on smack and sluts. You’ll get sloppy that way" I warn him before heading away. "Yes hyung!" he shouts out as I rush away to my next destination.

In the mall nearby I sit down to have my last meal in Korea for a while, in the restaurant where Youngjae and I often met. Once my meal is done, I sit in the corner and prepare my act. Body trembling, tears flow down my face phone to my face I wait for my desired to answer the phone call. The dial tone rings out into my ears which feels agonizingly slow until finally after a minute there is an answer. "Oh, hyung! How you are you doing?" the younger greets me, “Youngjae..." I take a deep breath. "Y-Youngjae" my voice shakes, I was doing my best to sound vulnerable. "Hyung?" it works, "hyung what's wrong?" he questions me his voice full of concern. "Help me... I need you" I sniffle for added affect, "where are you?" he asks hooked line and sinker.

Half an hour later I wait in the parking lot, inside of a car waiting for me was Yugyeom. Youngjae concerned arrives spotting me quickly he rushes towards me. “Hyung!" he calls out for me, his puppy dog eyes full of concern. “You sounded not good, did something happen, did you?" the younger asks. Unable to resist I pull him into my arms and hug him, he pats my back in response. "Please Youngjae come with me run away with me", I whisper in his ear. "Hyung I can't. What’s going on?" Youngjae pulls away from my embrace looking confused and concerned. "Please tell me" he begs me reaching for my hand trying to sweetly win the answer.

"Youngjae!" at the sound of his name being shouted like that, he turns to the source of the voice, a male I recognize. Across the parking lot it was Yien and with him two familiar faces, Suji and Minyoung. Surprised I watch her, I thought she was in Paris, what was she doing with them this? "GET AWAY FROM HIM!" Yien screams, the look on his face, its obvious his little girlfriend had revealed who I was.

"What? What are they talking about hyung? As he takes a step forward to his friend rushing over. I quickly remove the syringe from my pocket and stab his arm and inject him. The drugs take affect quickly as he flops down, Yien yells out but I ignore him and carefully put the younger in the back seat of the van and enter in after him Yugyeom starts the car up. As I'm about to close the door Suji leaps at me so I swiftly kick her down to the ground and close the door behind me.

Yugyeom quickly drivers ahead even as Suji climbs in the side of the car he keeps driving, so I open the window, "give him back" she shouts. Full of anger she growls at me, but impatient and needing to get to our destination, I punch Suji square in the face with a force that sends her flying back onto the road. "Whoa that was intense he remarks. Just drive I say exasperated, before looking down at Youngjae. "Now we get mine and kill Jinyoung. Right hyung?" Yugyeom excitedly asks. I ignore him I was too focused on Youngjae, I had him and he was mine. Finally.


	20. Why?

Youngjae's POV

Why was I here? It smellt so nice and it felt warm, like home. Jinwoon's arms he strokes my face and i wasn't moving. It felt good, it felt safe. "Youngjae, my sweet cute little brother", I don't know how I had gotten here. I hadn't gone back to Mokpo, I hadn't had any plans to visit home and the people that came with it. At this moment in time everything was getting more hectic, I was planning to move in with Jinyoung soon so I was making the preparations for that.

So what the fuck was I doing here? Without thinking I run the arms I had often run into for comfort. My older brother was often my security and the shelter that I needed. He was the strong, kind and dependable brother who I loved so much, and because of that he would often sacrifice himself for me. I was always too tempted to rely on that, but I knew it was selfish of me so I pushed my brother away and tried to stand on my two own feet. I was fine and I didn't need my brother now, so the question flashes through my head.

"Hyung, what am I doing here?" I ask still comfortable in his arms stroking his arm. "What have you gotten yourself into my sweet brother?",I don't know what he is talking about when suddenly it all flashes through my head. I had run to Jaebum's side at the mall parking lot, so concerned that the elder had done something bad, he sounded so vulnerable. When I saw him, it had looked like he had really just needed me, he looked so weak but why. Why had he done it? Why

Why had Yien, Suji and Minyoung come there? How did they even know where I would be? Last time I had seen the three we had been at Jackson and Jia's place. After setting up Minyoung and essentially kidnapping her, Jia with Suji had worked hard to force her through a withdrawal. She was a danger to everyone in Seoul, judging by her strength Jinyoung guessed that she hadn't been a drainer long.

We weren't going to get answers from her immediately, she was keeping tight lipped. Even when I had asked her about her relationship with Jaebum and if he knew JB, she denies it but doesn't go further to tell me anymore. So we had decided to focus on a different aspect of things, we would focus on making her less lethal. Weeks later it seems that it had worked well, she was able to control her thirst and wasn't as eractic and wild before. I wondered what kind of magic Jia had worker on her, but Suji had revealed that Jia was an addict who understood. The understanding, the non judgement, the kindess she showed, it had its way if worming itself into a person's consciousness.

Not to say they had luck with prying information on JB from her lips, but Jinyoung reveals its to be expected. Being by his side so long, she was a loyal soldier, indoctrinated by his words she might never betray him. However during this time in the care of Jia she had opened up about other things, she has revealed her regrets, running around wild, free and without any care in the world. She was selfish.

Minyoung had spent so long pretending she was satisfied with her life, but she was unsatisfied. She had always wanted a normal lifestyle, a husband, kids and white picket fence but before she got there she has just wanted to travel the wild and party. She had gotten sidelined in the end, she had failed to manage her addiction to drugs and drinks. She admits that JB never judged her for it, he helped her never go too far off the rails. However to me, it didn't sound like he had helped, he didn't sound like person who had helping intentions. No this JB guy enjoyed having Minyoung around and dependant on him, she loved him too so there was that.

On drugs and in love, Minyoung did as he said when he said it. She had regrets on that part, she had lead many people into his clutches and she would continue to hold that guilt for a long time. Minyoung had opened up to us, Jia, Jackson, Suji, Yien, Jinyoung and I, we were all her support system. So even when Jia had loosened the leash and allowed her out by herself, she hadn't caused trouble and instead of running back to JB she had stayed. I'm sure part of her felt spurned in the lack of effort to track her down, my apartment with Yien had not been visited once and Jinyoung was pretty sure no one had been following us. She probably realised that she was just a pawn to JB.

Jia was still working on her, she didn't want to use Minyoung so she was waiting for the other to come forth on her own. Minyoung had been used enough already. If we were getting information from her it would have to be her idea, she had to be ready and as for now it seemed she wasn't. So that afternoon we had spent time with Minyoung , Jackson, Jia and Jinyoung were at work so I was gladly spending time with my new friend and old friends when I receive the phone call from Jaebum hyung.

There again, it flashes through my head the image of Yien and Suji shouting at me, why were they so insistent on me leaving him? Why had Jaebum disappeared, one minute he was in front of me the next he was gone and everything had gone black. Snap out of it Youngjae! I snap up into a sitting position hit by a warm breeze and blinding sunlight. I look around and feel like I was in a dream, I looked to be at a warm bright and vibrant honely looking beach house. Even from the bed I could see a blue ocean through the window, ot was a like something out of a holiday book. Holy crap where was I? My mouth was dry, I feel a sharp pain in the crook in neck.

"Ahhhh you're finally awake". A strange woman enters the room, she is gorgeous petit woman with toned and curvy body and shoulder length brown hair. She was dressed in tight fitting running gear, it ,looked like she had been out running. She warmly greets me and introduces herself as Wang Fe Fei a friend of Jaebum. " You should call me noona" she warmly encourages before looking at me curiously before poking and proding my face. "Very cute!" she sweetly compliments, before fondly stroking my face. This was so weird, if this was a dream it sure didn't feel like it. She reaches for my hand and tells me to follow her, she doesn't feel like a threat so I do.

Fei leads me outiside barbecue to the barbeque patio, there is a wooden table and bench, next to a professional griller which was cooking sausages, chicken and burgers. We sit down, Fei forces me to sit down and pushes a plate of food in front of me telling me to eat up. "You've been knocked out for nearly a whole day" she reveals. "I didn't know that the drug would be that affective" she states oh so casually. I ask her where we were confused by it all.

" Can't you tell? We're in Sydney, this is one of my places" she answers nonchalantly. "Its pretty humble looking but I've had some of my best times here and its pretty secluded" she adds that the place was a little bit away from stores. " There won't be any intruders in case you guys decide to do... Private things" she teases. What the hell am I doing in Sydney? How did I get here? I ask the obvious questions. "In a jet silly, my jet" she answers as if that was easy too.

"Oh good you're awake" Jaebum says approaching me with a warm smile, shirtless his abs show, he was only wear a pair of low hanging navy blue swimming shorts. "What the hell am I doing in Sydney hyung, what did you do?" I ask Jaebum annoyed and confused with this all. "Why did you drug me? Why did you do that?" Jaebum doesn't answer, instead he sits down to eat. " What happened to Yien hyung, Suji noona, Minyoung noona what did you do to them?" I keep asking all the questions hoping he'll answer at least one questions. " Minyoung was with them?" Fei questions surprised. "You know her?",I ask confused but neither answers. "Eat up Youngjae. Then I'll answer your questions", frustrated I try to protest but he leans over pushing my plate closer to him.

"Eat first. Sweet heart", right on time my stomach growls. "Do as he says Youngjae, he won't budge" Fei warns. Reluctantly I look at the burger in front of me. Shit. This looks delicious, I start drooling. As I take a bite I hear a soft satisfied chuckle from Jaebum, he smiles reaching to ruffle my hair affectionately before turning to Fei anx helping himself to the food on the barbeque. The food is hard to swallow as so many thought swirl and wizz around my head.

The pair don't speak on any of the questions that I want answered, in fact they were blatantly avoid it. Instead they take me to the beach out in front, its a gorgeous, breath taking in fact. The beach looked to be behind a few large beach mansions, yes mansions on the beach side and it seemed they shared, this private beach. There was white sand, it was so clean and looked like it was being maintained. The ocean water is beautiful and light blue much like the colour of the smy above. It was just like a dream but I could feel the smoothness of the sand, I could feel the warmth of the ocean water as the tide comes onto shore.

"Its just how I described it right?" Jaebum asks as he plops next to me in the sand. I don't answer, I can't answer. Not until I get an explanation for all of this, how did he smuggle me from one continent to another without a passport? How could afford all of this, he was just a student with a part time bar job? Shit that was the least of my worries, why was I here? He still wasn't answering my questions and had proceeded to acting like it was normal, this wasn't normal. This wasn't some friendly summer holiday as a group of friends. No I had basically been kidnapped to some this paradise in the middle of nowhere.

Away from friends and family, I had been snatched by a person who had been a potential lover and his friends. I couldn't run because where the hell do I go, I was in fucking Australia. Where was the nearest phone? Jinyoung would be concerned, all my friends would be too. "I shouldn't be here hyung", Jaebum looked unfazed stares out at the ocean. "You'll like it I promise, we'll have a lot of good memories here", baffled I watch the older disregard me. He was talking about us and our future no even acknowledging the fact that I had not been part of deciding this at all.

"Hyung why are you doing this?" I ask him desperate for a reasonable explanation. "Because Youngjae, you're mine" I feel a cold shiver down my spine as he smiles fondly at me. "I haven't wanted a person like this for a long time" he says, "Hyung.." I try to reason with him but Jaebum interrupts me. "Park Jinyoung doesn't deserve you", I sit up startled and watch him."How do you know him?" how did he even know that we even knew each other. "I know him from way back" he casually replies. "Youngjae, I won't let him have you. He can't take away what is mine without paying for it" his words, when he speaks he seems so serious that it scares me. " Hyung I'm not yours", I try to protest, " No. Not yet, but later I'll make it official but first I have to end this chapter".

His words seem so ominous sending shivers down my spine, I try to get up and run away, I didn't know where I was heading but I had to get away. However after a few minutes of running I see Jaebum in front of me, Its impossible how did he get here so quick? Jaebum smiles looking amused, he reaches for the hair at the back of my neck pulling I try to squirm away but I feel his strong vice grip on my arm. This was the same strength he had shown months ago during my last night of the mansion, he demonstrated this strength that quite frankly scared the shit out of me. He could end up killing me, my heart races at the thought he was close enough to snap my neck like a twig.

"Youngjae don't be scared" yeah easier said than done I cry out internally, I was scared shitless. "Don't run away, that will make me sad" he says before leaning in to press his lips on mine. I don't reciprocate, I don't want this, I don't want him, I wanted Jinyoung. However I was in this situation and I was going to have to stay by his side and comply with him if I really wanted to survive this whole ordeal.

Dinner is almost impossible to swallow, I sit full of dread at a large elegant dining room table which was set for three people. The food on table was more expensive and fresh than I was used to, as delicious as it looked, I couldn't really eat it and enjoy it. I sit in silence as Fei yammers on about lobster, she sits on my lap, she strokes my face she pats and pets me fondly, however being so close to her didn't make me comfortable. "He's adorable, not like those little disloyal sluts you usually run with, after your money and power" she teases him, it seemed they knew each other well.

"He's a good boy" she pinches my cheek and giggles, "Will he understand that you like sex a lot?" she continues on. "Noona." Jaebum watches the woman with warning look but it doesn't seem to faze the elder."Youngjae I have a lot of affection towards your boyfriend” I cringe at Jaebum being addressed as my boyfriend. "So does my boyfriend, he likes fucking Jaebum. He says Jaebum is tight" she speaks with no filter, I wondered if she was trying to make me uncomfortable on purpose, what for?

"Noona" Jaebum tries to warn. However Fei continues as she bends over the table showing me her round pert ass. She rides up skirt showing her bare ass, she moves her thong aside reaching for my hand in s strong grip she directs my hand to her ass. "Jaebum likes me too. He says I'm tight" I grimace feeling completely uncomfortable. She takes two of my fingers and uses them to Insert the fingers inside of her. Despite my attempts to try and pull out her walls surround my fingers, she use my fingers to pump inside. She moans and watches "Jaebum is it turning you on?"

Watching silently is Jaebum he's quiet unmoving, just watching as she continues. Pumping harder and harder her moans get louder making me uncomfortable but she continues even groping her breast with her free hand. She keeps going until finally I feel the walls tighten, she moans and turns to watch me. She removes my hand and take her place back onto my lap, she directs my hand to my face. "Taste me Youngjae" she says with a grin. "Noona. Stop!" this time his voice sounds stern.

"Oh how disappointing. He didn't even get hard" she says looking down at my lap. "That move usually turns some guys at least bi" she says with a giggle and she kisses my cheek. "Jaebum can't hurt me, he knows it turns me on too much" she says causing Jaebum to glare at her. "But he was really jealous, trust me. He wants you all to himself, so I'll leave you alone" he pokes lightheartedly before exiting the room and heading out of house, I envied her so much in that moment.

"Youngjae I'm sorry" Jaebum tries to apologise, "why did you do this? " I snap, pushed to the edge by what had just happened. "Drugging me and taking me away from my friends and family. This isn't right",I try to explain that they'll be worried about me. They'll miss me. "Don't you think i missed you? I go away for a couple of weeks and all of sudden you're dating someone?!!" he snaps back at me. He was still mad I thought we had cleared this up already. "Hyung, I am sorry... " I try to plead but Jaebum interrupts me, " It doesn't matter Youngjae. It doesn't matter what happened, all that matters is you and me, us" I cringe when he addresses us as an us. "Seoul had too much to distract us and get in the way, here we get privacy and..." I cups my face fondly. " I will protect you and love you" he calmly says and he kisses my forehead. " Come on we'll clean up" he pulls me up from my chairs, he grips my arm and leads me to the master bedroom.

We share a shower, he had forced my clothes off. Everything he did was intimidating and scary at this moment, the nonchalant charming guy who I had thought that he had been replaced by this control freak. Completely nude we stand in the shower together, Jaebum was tall, toned and broad, his body was beautiful. I don't get much time to appreciate it out of fear, Jaebum was watching me with hooded eyes, it looked like his eyes were eating me up. He looks at me from head to toes, he didn't make a move but instead he speaks, "cute. Its just how I had imagined it". He cups my face, he pulls my face close to him his grip is tight, he leans in to kiss me softly. I don't and can't reciprocate, did he know how I felt or did he even care. Jaebum pulls away before stroking through my hair, a smile of fondness on his face. "come lets get dry and sleep, we have a lot to do tomorrow. He delivers one more soft kiss on my lips, before reaching my arm to carefully pull me out of the shower to the master bedroom.

Its like I was a child or something, he hands me over a towel to dry off with. Dripping wet and naked Jaebum walks into another room, I'm left alone with my thoughts. Could I make a run for it? How far would I get before Jaebum hyung noticed, he was so fast that it would be impossible to out run him. A minute passes and Jaebum returns dressed in a pair of pajama slacks that fall at his hips showing his hip bones. I divert my gaze and become more aware of my half nude state, I cover my lower half with a towel.

Jaebum chuckles, "how cute!" he teases before approaching me. He slowly pulls down my towel the grin on his face spreads wider, a shiver of discomfort tingles down my spine. "Youngjae, you're so beautiful" he says kissing my forehead lightly, before handing over a pair of boxers and pajama slacks. "they might be a little loose fitting, you're so small its cute, we'll go shopping in a couple of days and get you a whole new wardrobe " he teases me.

Allowing me to get dressed, Jaebum sits on the bed drying his hair watching me again with a grin on his face. He watches me as if I were something precious to me, something he wasn't willing to let go. That thought scared me a lot, it freezes me briefly but aware that Jaebum was still watching, so I rush to put on the boxers and pajamas. Still feeling pretty bare and somewhat self conscious under his gaze, "h-hyung... It'll be cold, can i have a shirt please? Jaebum chuckles amused,"come on, we'll cuddle and use this quilt" he says reaching out his arms. A grin spreads across his face, hyung will keep you warm. I stay still in my spot uncomfortable, this is something would drive Jinyoung out of his mind and I wouldn't blame him.

"Youngjae sweetie...?" he says holding out his arms for me to join his embrace. I watch him still so baffled at this whole situation, it didn't feel real. Had me getting back in contact with Jaebum set all this into action? Did I confuse him? I had told him I was with Jinyoung and although I never discussed Jinyoung with him, I never acted like I wasn't happy in my relationship. So why this? Jaebum becoming impatient gets up from the bed and reaches for me pulling on to join him. "Don't be so shy Youngjae, its not our first time", he says pulling me into his strong embrace. Its close and leaves me me no room to leave on escape, I feel his hot breath onto my neck followed by a nuzzle from him. His affection does nothing but disturb me and makes me miss Jinyoung, I knew he would be going out of his mind with worry.

This wasn't just me getting attacked, I had been abducted by someone Yien deemed as dangerous. The look in his eyes as I stood with Jaebum, it was full of fear, he wanted me away from Jaebum and it worried me. He knew something that I didn't, worse yet. I had my suspicions as it what it was, earlier on, his behaviours from before and his speed the beach it was confirmed. "Hyung", i whisper to him. Jaebum hums in reply, "you're a drainer, aren't you". There's a brief pause, " I'll answer this and then no more following questions cutie", he speaks hushed, his hands stroking my sides. "Yes. I am...But I'll never hurt you. Don't worry" he sends flutters of kisses down my shoulder. "Just sleep Youngjae, we'll see Sydney tomorrow. you'll love it trust me", I internally snort in derision. The more he acted, the less I trusted Jaebum and all I wanted to do was leave.

My dream that night is vivid again, this time I was back in St. MARK'S church, confused I look at how dark it is. I look around for Daewon and Jinyoung, I hear a voice, "Petal come here" I hear the voice call me forward. It was Jinyoung, I try to head in the direction of the source of his voice. I am lead to a small room with a bench I sit down on the bench and wait. I see the separation and soon realise that I was in the confession room of the church and on the other side is a shadowy figure that looks familiar. "Petal, you're here", his words feel good to hear, my heart flutters with pleasure to hear his voice. I really did miss him.

"Hyung" i call out for him desperate reaching for the screen, "You must be scared Youngjae but don't panic" he calmly reassures me. "Hyung i really miss you", I desperately call for him. "I do too but remember what I said that night you found out?" he asks. " You said a lot hyung" I admit. He chuckles amused in response, just the sound of his laugh comforts and warms me up. 'Youngjae, no matter what I'll will protect you, on my life" those words startle me. "Hyung, what do you mean. On your life?" I ask desperately, my hear thudding uncomfortably. Suddenly screen half slides open, Jinyoung shows his face and suddenly grins, that sexy grin of his. Yes, this was the face I missed so bad and I had wanted to see again, I would do anything to see him. Jinyoung reaches over to stroke my face, however before I can lean in and kiss like I desired he faded away and my consciousness returns.

Much like yesterday the bright sunshine breaks me harshly out of sleep, it was warm and the ocean sounds make me realise I was still in my nightmare. Laying next to me, arms wrapped around my waist was Fei and Jaebum. "You hurt his feelings" she says with a smirk. "I've never seen him react like that, he must really care about you" she says with a cold chuckle. "Jaebum must have been upset hearing you mutter his name" I panic, had Jaebum heard me talking in my sleep, was he upset? What would he do? He was so unpredictable that I didn't know what he was doing I ask where was Jaebum was and Fei reveals she was going to the airport to pick up a friend here, "so you get dressed and we'll head on out,.

Fei is a lot stronger than she looks, she may be small but she was fierce and so its not a struggle for her to force me into a change of clothes. Her strength is twice mine, I assumed she must be a drainer and so not making any risky moves before. So I go out with her as she forces me out into a car parked outside of the beach house and we drive out of the middle of nowhere.

We spend the morning on a tour bus which took us across the sites of Sydney, the bus was crowded, loud and mixed with different people speaking different language.The faces that surround me are different, different races, cultures and ages. Once the tour is done Fei takes me to lunch and she confidently speaks ordering us food. As we eat I'm tempted to make a run for it. However it was pointless as she could be a drainer too. Should I make a scene and call attention to the elder, or should I wait and see if we near a place with cops. I try so hard to think of an exit plan, I hardly take much notice of food finished and Fei eventually takes me to a warehouse nearby. A short drive away.

"If you have questions jhst ask noona" Fei expresses casually as we wait, for something. "How does Jaebum know Jinyoung?" I ask the question that was itching at me the most. "They were old school buddies and can you guess what else" my mouth goes dry, Jaebum and Jinyoung dated? Fei reveals that Jaebum grew up not so well, his mother had given birth to him out of wed lock and he anf his mother were judged for that. "She clung to his father and jis father wanted nothing to do with him", so in turn his mother was hard to connect to. "He has spent all this time looking for a connection and someone to really trust, some he could let himself be weak with", did she think that person was me? " Be's always strong, After what happened to him... He had to be" she peaks my curiousity. I ask her what had happened.

"Well that's far too personal for me to tell" she explains, "but I'm sure he'll tell you in due time" she stated with a shrug. "Why did you do this” I was curious why she had helped Jaebum do this to me "Because its what Jaebum wants. If he wants to literally steal a human and enslave him, if it makes him happy i will do it" she says simply. "Because i love him" she explains."He loves you, I have never seen him light up the way he does around you, she reveals much to my displeasure. "The best way for you to survive is just go with the flow, love him back if you must" she advices. "For as long as Jaebum wants you. He'll have you" she states casually, so casually that it creeps me out.

Stood outside a warehouse, sat on the hood of the car, Fei and I wait for Jaebum. However he's not the face that I see, instead almost like something out of ny dreams I see Jia, Jinyoung, Wooyoung and Suji approach calling out for me. Moved unable to resist I rush ahead I don't get too far until I am stopped by what feels like a brick wall but when i look up i see a familiar face. "You're not going anywhere" Yugyeom warns before shooting Fei a look of disapproval "I just wanted to see how far he'd get" she says with a grin. "YOUNGJAE!" I hear Jinyoung call, looking past the brick walls shoulders i see Jinyoung, and Suji running ahead, Wooyoung and Jia are fighting a crowd of goons who had come out of nowhere.

The fight was intense. Jinyoung doesn't focus on the fight as he looks so worried and concerned, he looked tired too. Before he can reach me other fighters appear, Jinyoung and Suji have to pause and fight and soon there are a field of drainers dressed in black and it looks like Wooyoung bought some reinforcement. They fly at each other fighting theres a lot of bone breaking and stabbing and it gets bloody and gory very quick. The brick in front of watches me with a grin. "I wouldn't watch if I were you, this won't end well for Jinyoung", he says with a grin.

"Why are you doing this, why is Jaebum doing this?" I ask confused. "Because he can" Yugyeom says as he fondly pets me. Frustrated I try to push past and fail and am powerless, tears stream down my face as I shout and plead for Jinyoung. Caught off guard he looks up to see me and gets hit as a result. "Jinyoung!" I shout out for him again full of concern. The fight is working in the favour of Jinyoung and allies, Suji is able to reach for Yugyeom and the pair begin to duke it out. Behind me there are a handful of drainers on their knees, frozen they look unable to move with needles stuck from their necks.

Minyoung is stood behind them with a gun in hands, frozen but not from the drug in her hand. It looked like she was in shock. To my side Fei is now fighting Jackson and Yien her strength is outrageous she handles the pair unlike they weren't bigger or stronger. Before I can turn, back JB appears in front of me, he turns behind me to hug me from behind. I hear my name yelled again, I know its Jinyoung. He sounds furious, Yien yells my name too but receives a foul kick to my stomach.

"JAEBUM LET HIM GO!" I hear Jinyoung shout at the top of his lungs, when I turn to look at Jinyoung, I see he was still fighting off a group, he was hitting them and using the paralysis sticks to freeze them and snap their heads off. In front of me Suji is mid fight with the Yugyeom, despite his size Suji is a fair match."Let him go!" Jinyoung shouts eyes bulging, face red, he looks like he doesn't look like the sweet docile Jinyoung i knew, he was livid. "Why would i want to do that"? Jaebum replies with a taunting laugh ruffling my hair. Jinyoung shouts again for Jaebum to let me go. However in his distracted stated he is apprehended and held in a lock by two tough enemies.

Jaebum lets go, of me and approaches me he punches an immobile Jinyoung. "I'll end you today, I shout and run to stop him but with ease he pushes me away sending me flying. Jinyoung shouts angry in protest and Jaebum grips at his throat, "you don't get to worry about him, he's mine now" Jaebum says menacingly. "He'll never be yours. Just like i was never yours" Jinyoung bitterly spits at me, shocked i watch on. "What did I tell you? I told you that no matter what you did you could never have me!"

The it hits me, It was him, he was the person who broke Jinyoung in Jinhae. Im Jaebum was a disgusting creature. "You are not what i want. You're all used up" Jaebum coldly replies before delivering a foul blow to Jinyoung's gut. Jinyoung coughs and splutters up blood, but even still hes defiant. " You're a bully, criminal, user abuser and a RAPIST!" The word rips through me causing me severe pain. I had been with the person who had done that to Jinyoung, the person who had broken him to pieces.

I needed to protect Jinyoung and get him away from this bastard, I get up to run again for Jinyoung but Jaebum pushes me away. "Youngjae don't listen to him, he is a traitor, he lied to me and betrayed me" Jaebum says sourly. "We were supposed to have a future-” he takes out paralysis stick but before he can turn to use it I leap into action

"PLEASE DON'T DO IT" I yell at Jaebum, "Please!" I shout again but Jaebum ignores me. So I rush behind Jaebum who lightly pushes me away. I get up again and rush to him, "please don't do this"" I yell but again I am pushed to the side over and over again until Jaebum snaps and punches me hard into the gut twice. I fall too my knees, struck. "YOUNGJAE" I hear my name called from across the field I don't know who, everything slowly starts to fade to back. I looked down to the source of my hot pain and see blood and a knife stuck in me. "I look up to Jaebum who holds me in his arms, "don't worry Youngjae it won't hurt in a while, once I rid us of one problem I'll rid you of your pain" he promises. He turns to Jinyoung who I can hear shouting, he sounds in pain. What were they doing to him? He shouldn't have to be going through this again at the hands of Jaebum. I hated this, but i could do nothing, I was too weak and fading away.


	21. Forever

Jinyoung’s POV

My clothes were still covered in blood, there had been so much blood, the blood of drainers and human. I had so much of his blood on me, Youngjae’s blood covered my once green hoodie and blue jeans. "Jinyoung get changed" Jackson stood by my side trying to encourage me to move. “Get cleaned and, we'll stay with Youngjae" I was scared of leaving, of ever leaving his side again after all of what had happened. We had been separated for two days and each second of that time was spent in agony. He had to have known, Jaebum. He had to have known how painful what he did was, more than being raped, more than being attacked and almost being killed. The thought that Youngjae was in danger, in the hands of a guy like Jaebum had scarred me.

Gripped by it, I wholly regretted those two extra hours I had taken on at work, had I arrived on time Youngjae wouldn't have snuck out into a deadly grip. If I hadn't kept Jaebum's identity so quiet and vague, Youngjae might have known to not go running to this guy. "Stop blaming yourself. This isn't your fault, none of this is", Jackson's words bring me no comfort. Those were words I knew he had to tell me, he had to keep my hopes up but my hopes had never been this low before. I had never been this emotionally deflated before.

It had all began more than 48 hours ago, when on the way to work, I had received a frantic call from Jackson. News had reached him through the grape vine that Yien, Minyoung and Suji had witnessed the kidnap of Youngjae. It was by the man Youngjae had once dated, he was also the same person who had attacked and turned Suji. What was even worse was Minyoung's revelation as to who it was, it was the dangerous and elusive JB. Minyoung had confessed that she did know about their brief relationship, but she had thought they had ended their relationship

According to her they had ceased a romantic relationship but kept a friendly kind of relationship going, words that irked me. However I was too worried for jealousy to kick in, "I didn't know that they were meeting up, and no way did I think that he'd kidnap Youngjae" Minyoung said. That scared me completely, the fact that JB had kept things from his most trusted companion, but unfortunately the fear didn't end there, and it got stronger and stronger over the time.

Needless to say I had a long sleepless night which I spend trying to search for Youngjae throughout Seoul. Unfortunately the search had bought up no results for me, it worried me so much. I going crazy out of my mind wondering where was, what he was doing? Was he being forced to do what he didn't like? Or worse yet, was he even alive? By my side through all this was Yien, surprisingly at a time like this he was who I needed the most. He was a rock and kept his cool, he wasn't combative as usual, and instead he listened and followed my instructions and did everything he could to help find his best friend. It was like we had swapped personalities and I was unable to control my emotions and hold it together but he was keeping level headed.

As we talked about Youngjae and his relationship with JB, trying to figure out where the pair had visited in hopes it could lead us some near Youngjae. Yien said something that sent me into a tail spin, "I always felt that he was shady, but I never once imagined that he could have been the guy who did that to Suji" Yien muttered showing a brief moment of anger. However he does his best to suppress before continuing on. "He seemed to like Youngjae, but almost as a toy. I knew Youngjae talking to Im Jaebum would cause trouble, but I didn't speak up and now this happened", I don't hear the rest of his self-deprecating comment.

No. It felt like I had been struck by a huge lightning bolt, as I slowly come to the realization of the true identity of Seoul’s crooked leader of crime and Youngjae's captor. "He's my ex", the words slip out my mouth without a filter and worry for its consequences. "What?" I remember hearing the echo of Yien's voice, I could tell he was more confused than he was shocked. How did this make sense? He was alive, what about what Seul Ong had said? All these thoughts go whizzing through my head, how was this happening to me?

The pair of us don't get to discuss my past with Jaebum and how this was all linked to Youngjae, instead we're interrupted by a phone call. My heart skips several beats as I rush to pull my phone from my pocket, I receive a call from Jackson, and “Jinyoung, we need to go to the airport now" Jackson explains. I had asked what he had meant he simply replies and tells me "I'll explain that to you when you get here, you and Yien need to meet us at Gimpo. We'll meet you there", he hangs up the phone before I can further question.

Soon enough Yien and I meet up with everyone, Jackson, Jia, Suji, Wooyoung, Joongki and most of the Le Protezioni were here apart from Yerin and newly made Chanhyuk. We were supposed to be looking for Youngjae, I could not understand why we were there. Wooyoung and Jackson were both busily talking on their phones, Jackson speaking in English so I couldn't exactly catch what he was saying nor did I care. It felt to me like we were wasting valuable time and it was frustrating me.

"We were sent a fax at the police station. Well not us, but Minjun oppa", Jia speaks up calmly explaining what had happened to me. She was so level headed right now," The fax was from JB", I'm struck. He had finally reached out but not to me, instead he was doing it through the police, he must have enjoyed that. He had to be enjoying this, the concept of playing with my emotions like this, taunting me from afar. Jia reached her arm over to squeeze my shoulder, "he's sent over a jet, and has given us instructions on where to meet him", he carefully relays the information. My blood boils, this was all a game to him, and he was playing with Youngjae in some sick twisted revenge play.

Begrudgingly I play along, Jia, Jackson, Suji, Yien and everyone else had turned up, even a last minute addition of Minyoung come with me on the jet. From the fax that had been sent out, I find out that we were being taken to Sydney Australia. Because if Jaebum was going to do something he had to do it big didn't he? He never knew how to talk things through, I think bitterly. There was no middle ground with him, he would go from passive and cold to flying off of the handle completely. It had been a factor that had contributed to my lack of commitment to the elder, he had to always be in control even it wasn't what I wanted.

In the past Jaebum had been someone who always knew how to reel me back in, despite an intense personality he had the ability to not only be charming for the good times. He paired that with the ability to make me believe he was vulnerable, the rejection he had from both his parents. It was easy to feel sympathetic towards the elder, he seemed like someone who was desperate for love. To be loved and to give it, I wouldn't be surprised if Youngjae had been reeled back in feeling that sympathy for the elder. Jaebum was the best at manipulating feelings, even his own to where in the end he was the victim. He was a monster in reality.

The plane journey is spent coming up with tactics, before takeoff we were able to find out through a trusted google search, that where we were headed was an abandoned warehouse. According to the address that had been faxed over to us. It seemed that we were headed into an ambush, however Wooyoung and Jackson had called their contacts in Australia to make sure we weren't unprepared and that we weren't completely outnumbered. "We'll get him back" Wooyoung reassured, his voice and the look in his eyes. They held resolve, and gave me strength too. He wasn't wavering, no one on the plane was wavering and neither would I. We had to get Youngjae back, no matter what.

It all flashed by in a haze, the day’s events felt like a blur to me it felt that way now. A day later stood by an unconscious Youngjae's bedside, I had been stood there for god knows how long just watching the younger. We were staying at a house nearby, it was a detached house in a quiet gated and idyllic area of Sydney owned by a friend of Wooyoung's. His reach stretched further than I had expected.

It was an ideal place to hide drainers and a group of foreigners who arrived in the country without a passport. Not only that our arrival to this place was hectic and rushed, most of us were bloodied, bruised and dirty. It looked suspicious but fortunately not many people noticed our intense and hectic arrival and we had kept under the radar since then and hopefully we'd continue to do so.

"Jinyoung we're all here" Jackson says, we were stood in the master bedroom which Youngjae was using to recuperate in. He had been cleaned and changed into a change of clothes, a beige jumper which fits loosely and baggy grey tracksuit bottoms. "There is a small army of drainers and humans with guns guarding him", he says reaching my shoulder supportively. "Nothing will happen while you're taking a five minute shower and changing clothes" I watch Youngjae reluctant to leave his side. "Listen to what he says", Yien firmly instructs me as he walks out of the bedroom. Yien and Jackson changed from his bloody muddy clothes they had earlier. They had on a similar outfit to Youngjae which had been provided by the owner of the house. After things had quietened down the survivors had gotten themselves cleaned and washed the battle off of themselves.

"Youngjae doesn't need to see you like this, you'll startle him" Yien's voice is stern and leaves me no room to do go against him, so I begrudgingly rip myself from Youngjae's side and head off to the shower nearby. I rush off needing to hurry and get it out of the way, I head up the stairs weakly and drained the events of earlier flashing through my head.

The image was still so fresh hours later, it would always be impossible to remove the image of that blade sinking into Youngjae's abdomen. Not that the previous attacks before were easy to bear with, no but nothing had prepared me for how far Jaebum would go. He in the blink of an eye removed the blade from his pocket and unflinchingly struck the younger in his gut with the blade. My mouth had gone dry in that moment, rage filled me up, if Jaebum had really wanted to hurt me that was the way to do it. He could have raped me repeatedly and slit my throat a hundred times over and that would have be minute in comparison. He meant me harm and he chose the most painful way to do that.

Flying into a rage I swiveled off of knee to kick one of my attackers who falls of their feet, the other I kick but my attempts to escape are thwarted by Jaebum. He grabs me by neck and pushes me down onto my back into the rough, I try to move quickly and kick him he and his goons hold me down. "Today Jinyoung you die" he says with relish, a smirk spreads across his face. Before he can snap my neck like a twig I see him freeze, a few seconds pass and he doesn't move, like a statue he's frozen in place. The goons next to him don't move either, and I recognise the look in their eyes. They were mentally there, but physical they were paralysed, it was a look of fear, confusion and anger.

Moving quickly I had pushed my would be killers off of me, and take notice that sticking from their necks were the paralysis sticks. I look and see that Minyoung is stood behind them with the gun in her hands, she looks shocked, surprised with herself and what she has done. She had betrayed someone that she had loved to save my life, however I don't get time to appreciate it when I catch sight of Youngjae on the floor behind Minyoung. Bleeding.

Horrified I run to the younger, my heart was racing out of control at his unconscious state. There was no happiness, warmth, cheer in him, his shoulders weren't slumped awkwardly as usual. His lips were not pouting for some reason or another, his beautiful laugh wasn't echoing in my ears. He looked like the shell of the boy that I had fallen in love with, he was no longer there. I lift and cradle the boy in my arms tearfully pleading him for wake up, I shake him desperately to put a spark into him. However he's lifeless, he shows no signs of life in him and I was scared.

"No, Youngjae you can't" I cry into the immobile younger's chest, "does he have a pulse?" Jia asks as she joins me down next to Youngjae. She quickly reaches down to Youngjae's neck to feel for a pulse, her expression isn't great, but she keeps feeling. Until finally she lights up, "he's got a pulse! He's got a pulse", my heart races with excitement. "He's lost a lot of blood, too much blood. Jinyoung you're going to have to turn him. QUICK", her voice sounds stable, she was trying to be patient with me but I could tell she was panicked inside.

I had never wanted to do this, I had never wanted this life for him, and his whole life would change. He would regret it, he would detest being a drainer once he became one but I was concerned. "Jinyoung, do it!!" I turn to see Yien behind with Jackson holding a struggling Fei down. "You have to do it!” he shouts desperately tears rolling down his face, I held his dying best friend in my arms but I still falter. "Jinyoung, if you don't do it then I will. He hasn't got much time and he told me that if you faltered then I would have to step in". I knew that Youngjae would do something like that, he knew my reservations and planned ahead. "Jinyoung, you have to do it", Jia says squeezing my hand encouraging me and so reluctantly I follow his wishes.

Fast forward a few hours here I was, I had washed Youngjae's blood off of me and was in the midst of getting changed. I pause just to let it hit me, for the umpteenth that time that day I had tried and failed to process the events of the day. As I stand in silence my ears pick up a hushed conversation between Suji and Minyoung, Minyoung was distraught, despite helping us out she was hurt to see her friends and people she had considered family wiped out in front of her eyes.

On Wooyoung's order, which was really not his but the order of the authority above. Jaebum along with the drainers who had participated in the attack today were all killed, one by one their necks were snapped. It looked like a massacre with a pile of bodies that counted into the dozens including Kunpimook's ex, the troubled Kim Yugyeom. His short life had to be ended on orders way above Wooyoung's head, the only survivor was human Fei. She had not been affected by the paralysis sticks, so Jackson Yien kept her cuffed and restrained. She was to be taken back to Korea and charged for kidnapping and smuggling a person out of the country, Jackson hoped she would crack with prison time looming over her head. However that day she seemed distraught watching Jaebum die, she was very emotional as she watched as he was set him on fire. It appeared that she had really loved him, however for me it’s hard to feel any sympathy, she had put Youngjae in this dangerous position and I felt nothing but bitterness and rage toward her.

Even as she was cuffed she shouts and yells abuse to Minyoung, calling the younger a traitor. I knew it would take a while for the guilt to stop weighing on her, even though Minyoung had done right it wouldn't be easy for her to come around to that way of thinking. Right now she was with Suji and Jia who were doing their best to comfort her, she was emotionally unstable and vulnerable to going on a crazy blood thirsty rampage. It was fortunate that she had a good foundation of support around her, if she messed up now Wooyoung and the surviving few members of the Le Protezioni were nearby were on high alert and were pretty no nonsense.

"You dressed?" Jackson pops his head into the bedroom I was in, he walks in once he sees I'm dressed. He checks up on me and reveals the flight plan for tomorrow Fei was on the way to Seoul, she was now being escorted by Joongki and another member of the Le Protezioni. He sighs concerned, this wouldn't be the end of the empire built up, the organisation they had built up was well moving and elusive and part of me believes with her fiancée’s good lawyers. Fei will take the hit, serve her few years and protect those that she was loyal too. It would be hard to break down these people and their pumps, "We'll need your help Jinyoung, I'll need it" Jackson reveals. There's no pause to think, I wasn't satisfied with just taking down Jaebum, and he wasn’t the core of the evil that plagued Seoul. We would need to take them down from the root, Jackson had helped me all this time without hesitation. I would do my very best return the favour.

"Thanks" he says with a sigh of relief, before smiling and pulling me into a warm embrace. I wrap my arms instinctively and to my surprise I feel his body tremble followed by what sound like muffled sobs. "Jinyoung that was so close. We almost lost him. "We". I realise just how attached Jackson had become to Youngjae, he had gained the love of so many people, and I wonder if he knew just how lovable he was? Not just to Yien and I, but to Jia and Jackson who treasured him as if he were their own blood brother, Suji who through Yien shared a loyalty to him and was ready to put her life on the line for him. Even Minyoung, through him it seemed she had seen the damage that Jaebum was capable of.

Youngjae was precious to so many people, if I had continued to hesitate in turning the younger, he might have been lost to a whole lot if people. There would be a lot of hurt, I know it had been selfish of me to hesitate like I did, but I was worried. After all Youngjae was going to be an addict for the rest of his life. "Thank you Jinyoung, thank you for saving him" he continues to sob and I wordlessly hug my friend until he stops crying and pulls away, his eyes were red and his cheeks puffy. “How embarrassing!" he jokes, I smile for the first time in this stressful day I crack a smile.

Jackson and I head downstairs at the news that Youngjae was awake, when we enter the master bedroom, he was propped up into a sitting position whilst Yien gave him something to drink. He looks a little weak, but a little weak was better than the nothingness I had seen earlier. Yien strokes his face, his body language seems less tense. It was like he just needed to feel the life signs in his friends for him to unwind. Yien brightens up and he even uses his gift of being able to talk to Youngjae about anything despite the tense situation. They talk about Sydney and the warm weather and I watch in awe, it was like what had happened hadn't happened, they were just friends abroad on a holiday.

A little while later at night, Youngjae and I are sat in silence, I was sat tucked up next to him. He takes his place rightfully in my arms, I stroke the vulnerable younger's hair, neither one of was talking but it wasn't uncomfortable. I gently kiss his forehead and pull him close into my arms, Youngjae hums sounding quite pleased. "You scared me" I murmur into his hair. Youngjae apologies," its okay it’s not your fault" I try to reassure the younger. "I'm an idiot, I never saw that coming" he tries to explain, "its okay. He's... He was a great liar" I say trying to put his worries to rest, however the younger sits up.

"Was?" I nod simply and Youngjae seems to understand, there is a brief silence which had me wishing I could read minds. "I'm sorry, I wish you hadn't had to see him” the younger apologises for the umpteenth time. "It’s okay!" I try to comfort him, however the younger seemed to be holding on to the guilt. "It’s not, if I hadn't been so stupid" he berates me. I tell Youngjae that he couldn't have known that this would have happened, I couldn't either. I have thought all this time that he had died, but I'm guessing it was a well-meaning hyung who had told me that in order for me to let him go and move on with my life. But as time passed I never could, it was hard because I always felt something stirring.

Today I was able to put him behind me, in the past, "You are my future", I kiss the top of his head and Youngjae nuzzles himself into my chest, his arm wrapping around me. "From now on you won't leave my side" Youngjae chuckles amused inn response.” I won't and I'll try not to" he complies and for now, that's all I can ask from him.

Before we make leave for airport and our flight back home, Wooyoung arranges a barbecue for all of us to enjoy. Everyone who had flown from Seoul to save Youngjae as well as the native Australian drainers who came to help come together in a celebration. The music, food, drinks and company are so good, there is a Jackson chill, relax, atmosphere that juxtaposes the stressful events of the days before. Youngjae and I still on a bench comfortable together eating food and drink taking in the guests at the party and all the little things. Yien Suji and Minyoung are huddled up close in a corner and the trio share kisses much to Jackson's disapproval. Jia watches on amused as her boyfriend lectures the three and their complicated triangle.

"Love is meant to be monogamous" he complains much to the amusement of the three who ignore him and continue as they were showering each other with affection. Youngjae sat next to me here but he's not listening, he's trying to deal with his thirst. He'd had a blood bag and would have some around the clock, until he can handle his urges alone. I feel protective of him, I was going to be by his side helping him through this tough transition. I know It would be a while till I let go off the reigns but I hoped he appreciates my intentions. Youngjae suddenly grips my arm and leans his head on my shoulders, I reach to stroke through his hair affectionately. It was nice that he was reaching out himself.

During our fun barbecue a joyous occasion takes place, in front of us all, Jackson drops on one knee. Watching Jia intently, his hand reaching to hold hers. Jia looks down at her love completely shocked and taken aback by the suddenness of this all. "Life is short, we have been hit with that realization way too many times to not do this" there is a brief silence as they watch each other, almost as they were communicating through telepathy. "Marry me Meng Jia", he asks, right now he looked so calm and sure of this. He sincerely loved Jia and anyone with eyes could see that, so it only makes sense there was no hesitation on the other’s side. Jia joyously accepts the proposal. She bends down on his level and leaps into his arms.

Our group of spectators clap and cheer for the newly engaged couple. Hugs and kisses are also spread out through the party, mostly by an excited Jackson. Jackson promises to get her a ring back when they get to Seoul, but to a blushing and excited Jia, that seemed to be the least of her worries. Soon everyone is buzzing and chattering excitedly, "You're all invited to the wedding!" announces earning him a cheer from all. The atmosphere is good for the rest of the day, Youngjae manages to use a lot of will power throughout the day near humans, and he doesn't lose control once. For a new drainer he was impressive I have to admit.

Later after a fun and relaxed day in Sydney, we make a return to Seoul to our safe haven in our bathtub. With more food and drink Youngjae and I sit there to discuss our future plans. He had done with his school year and would have a brief break, the year has been hectic to say the least. The subject of a vacation comes up, we were in need of one after the last few days. I suggest we go to America, to Florida and its warm weather and sandy beaches. “How about somewhere closer", suggests, when I ask him he replied with a new concept? "How about home, to my brother my parents?" he had seemed so against it when I suggested this in past but he was doing this sudden turn around.

"Are you ready? What about your thirst?" I reveal my reservations. "With you there, I know I could control myself" Youngjae grips at my arm and watches me. "Life is short hyung this week made that clear to me" this was true, it had been a wakeup call for us both. "I want to make up with my family and introduce them to you”, Youngjae says sincerely. I pause briefly thinking about it before I give in as I always seemed to do with him. "If it’s what you want?" Youngjae nods his head to confirm. “It’s what I want" he gets up on his knees and leans to me to deliver a soft and lingering kiss.

"How about if I wanted you" he says as he pulls away, his face so close to mine that our noses touch. "I'll give it to you, I reply without hesitation. “Forever?" he adds, I reply exactly the same as before. "What if I needed your trust, your support", I reply the same, he could have it all. "If wanted to fuck you, right now" Youngjae says breathily, his eyes glossed over lustfully. “Then I'd only be too obliged" I say unable to stop the grin spreading on my face, I cup Youngjae’s face and pull him to kiss him on the lips.

I had no idea what to the future held for us, we could end up having a worse ending than the one that almost fell upon us. But that was it that was what was key, if we did it together then I would be able to find some happiness from it. For now I would cling tightly to the happiness I had in this moment in time, with the love of my somewhat extended life Choi Youngjae.


End file.
